UK VJers Progress Update Thread

[-PiLoT- 11]

Here is the issue, and i can view this from two sides of the fence almost

when we got our noa2 in november, we exprected to have it to nvc before xmas, this wasnt done. they lost the paperwork and ill admit i was stressed. anxious and angry, but i was angry at the uscis and the nvc. this is the place i come to for reassurance amongst people in the same boat as me. to see if i should worry as much as i did. and yes i looked at other peoples timelines with slight jealousy, but i never ever came her and attacked them.

this problem is stef was making remarks about the person. instead of being mad at the process flaws

Edited March 29, 2015 by -PiLoT-

[Gary & Aubrey 23]

This thread is suddenly getting very angry and very dark. Here's a picture of a cute dog with a flag.

Gary

[stef_curls 42]

I don't understand what you mean by this- we've had one other conversation where you said most CSC-ers are not sympathetic to TSC-ers and I merely emphasised how sympathetic I was personally, and that I was sorry you felt that way. You seem to be implying we have had prior disagreements- I don't see how this is us "going through" anything again. I also once gave you advice on roast potatoes. Other than that, we haven't argued or spoken as far as I recall.

I agree that this has gone on long enough, I'd like to get back to the pleasant posting that was occurring previously, I was never seeking disagreement or cross words in the first place! I always try and help people as best I can.

It's this. This right here. You sound a bit smug, that's what is really gear grinding.

I asked you very politely in a PM that day, if I remember correctly, to change your signature because of the way it seemed to flaunt how quickly the process was for you (obviously you didn't see it that way, I am not accusing you of being malicious purposefully, and I hope it wasn't taken that way- although you did go and immediately announce in another forum about what I asked and then tell people who I was, I think it would have been more graceful to leave it be but thats my opinion).

Anyway, back to the signature, where your emoji's (which have yes, since been removed) told a story of moaning of USPS taking [a few extra than normal days] to deliver your petition to the lockbox, and I saw you in another thread get upset over someone with approval after you getting their interview scheduled before you. We all have the right to moan, but just FOR ONE SECOND put yourself in my shoes (we will be lucky to have his POE in October if nothing changes), seeing you say stuff like that when my NOA1 date is one day after yours. I had to kick and scream and bang down doors to get where we are now, (I like to believe we made a difference anyway) hopefully this transfer stuff works out and some of us get to escape TSC without the insufferable 200 plus days.

Understand I was hurt, and understand that I know you don't/didn't deserve to be attacked, but this is the end, I am offering (or asking?) 100% truce and I will let this all go, you can stop defending yourself now (you are not a victim here anyway, ) and re-iterating your sympathy.

We all know the pain of LDR, I am not denying that of ANYBODY, but you (and a ton of other CSC'rs and Philippine applications that were expedited for no reason), truly cannot know the pain of watching so many others race past you, and how it felt/feels to be so wronged by our own government. We all PAID for the same damn service.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

I don't need to make my relationship stronger, save money, get a house ready, or whatever else ppl say to try to pretend like the wait is a good thing.

I hear ya on that one April. I always roll my eyes when somebody says it will make your relationship stronger. Bullshirt! I appreciate that you haven't sniped at individuals in this thread. You said early on that you were laying low because you were bitter with the system. I think about you even though you're not around often. It's a little like a party that you haven't been invited to yet. Not too fun. You can start a new thread with the next wave of folks doing London things comes along. This one will be too long and the current kids will be graduated and disappear.

So Daniel left Houston yesterday. Rob today. And my husband returns to IAH Tuesday. I got that same sad feeling when I took him to the airport and didn't go with him this time. It was like all those other times before he moved here. I just took off as soon as he got checked in at the counter and didn't watch as he went out of sight around the corner at Terminal E. Decided I would be stupid to stand there all sad when he would be back in two weeks. Had to tell myself---this is different. Airport goodbyes still suck no matter the circumstance... Well, unless it's your in-laws who came for three weeks. That's kind of a nice goodbye.

Wishing you guys the best. It's a terrible situation you are forced to endure.

Off topic: Did you hear Wunsche's in Old Town Spring burned last night. Lot's of damage but the old original saloon part was saved.

[Pheebs1201 269]

It's this. This right here. You sound a bit smug, that's what is really gear grinding.

I asked you very politely in a PM that day, if I remember correctly, to change your signature because of the way it seemed to flaunt how quickly the process was for you (obviously you didn't see it that way, I am not accusing you of being malicious purposefully, and I hope it wasn't taken that way- although you did go and immediately announce in another forum about what I asked and then tell people who I was, I think it would have been more graceful to leave it be but thats my opinion).

Anyway, back to the signature, where your emoji's (which have yes, since been removed) told a story of moaning of USPS taking [a few extra than normal days] to deliver your petition to the lockbox, and I saw you in another thread get upset over someone with approval after you getting their interview scheduled before you. We all have the right to moan, but just FOR ONE SECOND put yourself in my shoes (we will be lucky to have his POE in October if nothing changes), seeing you say stuff like that when my NOA1 date is one day after yours. I had to kick and scream and bang down doors to get where we are now, (I like to believe we made a difference anyway) hopefully this transfer stuff works out and some of us get to escape TSC without the insufferable 200 plus days.

Understand I was hurt, and understand that I know you don't/didn't deserve to be attacked, but this is the end, I am offering (or asking?) 100% truce and I will let this all go, you can stop defending yourself now (you are not a victim here anyway, ) and re-iterating your sympathy.

We all know the pain of LDR, I am not denying that of ANYBODY, but you (and a ton of other CSC'rs and Philippine applications that were expedited for no reason), truly cannot know the pain of watching so many others race past you, and how it felt/feels to be so wronged by our own government. We all PAID for the same damn service.

1.) I am not, and have never intended to be "smug"

2.) I posted about your private message (as Shana has already mentioned) because I was concerned I had offended others as I had seemingly offended you. Turns out, I hadn't. People asked who you were, and I didn't realise you wanted your snarky requests to be kept a secret.

3.) I have tried to put myself in your shoes multiple times and you have once again criticised my efforts to be sympathetic- your offer of "truce" is immediately followed by an attack on said sympathy with your use of italics. Doesn't present you as overly sincere.

4.) For the LAST time I am GENUINELY sorry about the discrepancy between service centres and I am sorry that I enjoy using emoticons.

I don't think I'll bother with VJ anymore, can't deal with the keyboard warriors. For all of those who have helped Dan & I up until now I am truly thankful. Good luck to all of you for the future!

[Gary & Aubrey 23]

..

Edited March 30, 2015 by Gary & Aubrey

[TLSR2014 9]

This thread is suddenly getting very angry and very dark. Here's a picture of a cute dog with a flag.

Gary

Awwwwww. That is a very cute puppy.

[-PiLoT- 11]

It's this. This right here. You sound a bit smug, that's what is really gear grinding.

I asked you very politely in a PM that day, if I remember correctly, to change your signature because of the way it seemed to flaunt how quickly the process was for you (obviously you didn't see it that way, I am not accusing you of being malicious purposefully, and I hope it wasn't taken that way- although you did go and immediately announce in another forum about what I asked and then tell people who I was, I think it would have been more graceful to leave it be but thats my opinion).

Anyway, back to the signature, where your emoji's (which have yes, since been removed) told a story of moaning of USPS taking [a few extra than normal days] to deliver your petition to the lockbox, and I saw you in another thread get upset over someone with approval after you getting their interview scheduled before you. We all have the right to moan, but just FOR ONE SECOND put yourself in my shoes (we will be lucky to have his POE in October if nothing changes), seeing you say stuff like that when my NOA1 date is one day after yours. I had to kick and scream and bang down doors to get where we are now, (I like to believe we made a difference anyway) hopefully this transfer stuff works out and some of us get to escape TSC without the insufferable 200 plus days.

Understand I was hurt, and understand that I know you don't/didn't deserve to be attacked, but this is the end, I am offering (or asking?) 100% truce and I will let this all go, you can stop defending yourself now (you are not a victim here anyway, ) and re-iterating your sympathy.

We all know the pain of LDR, I am not denying that of ANYBODY, but you (and a ton of other CSC'rs and Philippine applications that were expedited for no reason), truly cannot know the pain of watching so many others race past you, and how it felt/feels to be so wronged by our own government. We all PAID for the same damn service.

You do realise that the timelines in signatures arent to brag, its to allow those of us who can offer opinions or help to know there the person is in the process without having to see if theyve updated the actual timeline page, You have no right to ask someone to change their signature because it you find it personally insulting somehow. you are not a special snowflake and we all have sore points in this journey. but im not going to get mad at anyone in thei thread that had an interview the day before me. or people who havent had to have passports re issued cause names were put in the wrong place.

ill admit the vast majority of this thread is defending the person you attacked cause its not them you should be angry at. be angered at beaurocratic red tape and massive precautions taken during the visa process.

this forum, aswell as being a huge bank of information for visa applicants, is also our unoffical support and therapy for these hugely trying times. and the last thing we need is the well poisoned with bitterness and resentment, especially when the person has done no wrong

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Everybody stop! Pull your claws in.

[Sunya and Tim 55]

Just the divorce decree is needed. They want you to prove you are legally free to marry. You don't have to prove the former marriage(s). The decree of divorce is sufficient to prove that the marriage previously existed, and more importantly, that it is legally terminated.

My divorce decree details the date and place of my marriage as well as the date and place where the divorce was granted. That is the relevant information required.

The marriage certificate will be required for those applying for a spouse visa or any other visa where marriage is the basis for the application. I think it is just badly worded and and reads as though a marriage certificate is required for divorce, whereas it should read that a certificate should be presented (i.e. divorce) for terminated marriages. I hope that makes sense.

Wbeem, I was just looking back to share your information with my fiance and I realized I never said thanks for the information. So a big thanks!!!!

[Berty 74]

you are not a special snowflake

That's going on my headstone.

Edit: Or my signature.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Berty

[vicks5721 18]

You do realise that the timelines in signatures arent to brag, its to allow those of us who can offer opinions or help to know there the person is in the process without having to see if theyve updated the actual timeline page, You have no right to ask someone to change their signature because it you find it personally insulting somehow. you are not a special snowflake and we all have sore points in this journey. but im not going to get mad at anyone in thei thread that had an interview the day before me. or people who havent had to have passports re issued cause names were put in the wrong place.

ill admit the vast majority of this thread is defending the person you attacked cause its not them you should be angry at. be angered at beaurocratic red tape and massive precautions taken during the visa process.

this forum, aswell as being a huge bank of information for visa applicants, is also our unoffical support and therapy for these hugely trying times. and the last thing we need is the well poisoned with bitterness and resentment, especially when the person has done no wrong

I completely agree it is not right to attack people, truly nobody can control how short or long their visa journey will, attacking people for it is not right, this has gone too far, I can understand defending yourself, but the attack on pheebs was close to bullying. I am sad reading through the posts as this thread was very positive. Please can we get back to positivity and focus on supporting one another, that is what visa journey forum is all about isn't. I am not trying to defend or take sides, I just hope the peace can begin again. Resentment and blaming people for your heartaches just makes things worse rather than better, what gain is there from all the back and forth fighting. I am going to stay on netural ground personally, as I really think nobody here has tried to show off their quick approvals and I am sorry if anyone has shown misplaced caring actions by saying positives of the waiting. I agree with how it doesnt help, but people do mean well at the end of the day. I know someone may think I mean this as pointing fingers, but I just wanted to say my opinion that is all. Edited March 30, 2015 by vicks5721

[Pooky 3,784]

I don't think I'll bother with VJ anymore, can't deal with the keyboard warriors. For all of those who have helped Dan & I up until now I am truly thankful. Good luck to all of you for the future!

God luck for the future, if you decide not to return here (and even if you do come back ).

[-Shana- 152]

As creator of this thread I'm really disheartened to see it get to this point. One comment has completely brought this thread down. We have 2 awesome people saying they're leaving.

This was the small part of the forum where I felt that we could avoid drama and just talk and get to know each other, while updating each other about our journeys. Lets get back to that. Pheebs had every right to stick up for herself down to a comment stef made that literally came out of nowhere. But the continuation of the war against TSC vs. CSC rages on and it's turned the thread into another drama.

TSC people - It fudging sucks what you're going through. We don't understand. But please stop taking it out on CSCers.

CSC people - You don't understand the injustice that is the different wait times. Yes you understand distance and relationship struggles, but on this topic it is a different thing.

Can we just agree to these conditions and stop this bickering? I want normal talk back because gosh farm it i like this thread!

[FewerHatsPlz 3]

1.) I am not, and have never intended to be "smug"

2.) I posted about your private message (as Shana has already mentioned) because I was concerned I had offended others as I had seemingly offended you. Turns out, I hadn't. People asked who you were, and I didn't realise you wanted your snarky requests to be kept a secret.

3.) I have tried to put myself in your shoes multiple times and you have once again criticised my efforts to be sympathetic- your offer of "truce" is immediately followed by an attack on said sympathy with your use of italics. Doesn't present you as overly sincere.

4.) For the LAST time I am GENUINELY sorry about the discrepancy between service centres and I am sorry that I enjoy using emoticons.

I don't think I'll bother with VJ anymore, can't deal with the keyboard warriors. For all of those who have helped Dan & I up until now I am truly thankful. Good luck to all of you for the future!

Please don't leave Pheebs! Your posts have been invaluable to myself and many others on here, and I'm sorry you're receiving criticism for something that was out of your control.

Regardless of who feels aggrieved and who's right or wrong, disagreements like this almost NEVER end well on the internet. I really enjoy reading other people's updates in here, so hopefully the last few pages can just be swept under the rug and things can go back to normal.

I haven't really posted much on VJ, mainly just lurked in the background and read other people's stories with interest. But the embassy received my medical results on Friday, and now I'm just waiting for my interview letter. I'm killing the time by selling off anything I don't need when I move, and packing up anything I won't use in the next couple of months.

I came back from a week in MN last Tuesday, and for the first time, being there felt like 'home' in a weird way. I don't know if I can pinpoint why exactly. Maybe because I'm starting to develop friendships with my fiance's friends, that extend beyond just 'meeting the future husband of my friend'. Maybe because I'm navigating my way around the city with a degree of confidence, and revisiting bars/restaurants that I've enjoyed spending time in.

I'M SO GODDAMN EXCITED TO LIVE IN MINNEAPOLIS.

Edited March 30, 2015 by FewerHatsPlz