I've been had

[FulanoDeTal 19]

Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like your fiance told you one thing ("I don't want to get married.") and the CO something entirely different ("I do want to get married.") and was convincing enough with the CO that the visa got issued. So yes, if that's the case, you've been had. From earlier posts, I see that you did not spend much "face-to-face" time with your fiance prior to starting the K-1 process. Based on long experience, I can say that same-sex relationships with Latin-American men can be very complicated, and sometimes motives are not what they appear to be. Do you speak Spanish? Did he introduce you to his family when you visited? There are a whole lot of cultural "tells" that will give you an indication of how sincere a Latin-American guy is in the relationship, and those simply aren't going to be obvious if most of your contact is limited to long-distance communication.

As far as the immigration side of this goes, there's plenty of advice that's already been posted. The fact of the matter is that even if he does show up in the U.S., his immediate options are going to be very limited, as he has to marry you -- and only you -- within 90 days or be out of status. Maybe he's just looking to get to the U.S., who knows? Just do what you can to protect your own interests, and my advice is simply to move on from there.

[Boiler 45,525]

First ....You do not know how to spell COLOMBIA

Second.... What do you mean by that ? so quite possible...

There are several high fraud countries.... I do not remember hearing Colombia was one of them...

I am sure other people are offended by your reply..

What do you know about Colombia ??

ONE bad person ...is no reason to say that about the Country.....

I will put that one down to auto spell checker on my phone.

If it was say Canada it would have been more confusing.

[amarok 4]

Oh my gosh I'm sorry to hear that Chuck.

Looks like everyone else on here has gave you great suggestions to stop the process.

We had our interview the same day (Friday, 23rd) in Bogota and CEAC status is already changed from Ready to Administrative Processing and now today its status is "Issued"

Try checking the CEAC website and see the status for your case.

Take care of yourself!

[ChuckYJeison 2]

Thanks everyone for the great advice. Yesterday I sent the embassy a letter stating I wanted to withdraw the petition. Yesterday before I sent the letter the case was in administrative processing. It hasn't updated today. I will call tomorrow as well. I've cancelled all my credit cards and requested new cards/numbers. I spoke to my lawyer who prepared all of our paper work, he thinks he did this just to get the visa, get into the US and then just disappear and stay here illegally.

Last weekend we were talking and he was telling me about how it was going to be so hard to leave his family. I called him back about an hour later and told him I would fly to the interview to be with him. He got mad, for the first time since we met, told me he wanted to do it himself. I thought it was strange, but let it go and thought it was just stress... Guess not. Its really difficult for me to understand how someone could talk to someone for hours and hours for weeks/months and just be lying the whole time. Personal details, talking about family, friends, future life. Wow. was depressed, then angry, now I'm just disgusted and want it to be over.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

It is hard to understand how one person can use another like this. But there are some real dirt balls out there. The availability of social sites has helped them find a pawn to their self serving foolishness. To him you are just a tool to be used and tossed in the corner. He is a lower form of life that the flies that hang around the manure pile. I know of people that run the same scam on multiple people at the same time hoping that one of the fish will take the bait. Hopefully you caught on quickly enough and the visa is cancelled or flagged. They have his fingerprints so if he is stopped now he has little hope of new scams. Report him everywhere , block his number and go find yourself a real man.

[Nathan&Cata 5]

This is really sad.... I am sorry for what this guy did to you... You deserve a better person, and you'll find this... For everything we do on this earth, we'll get paid... No matter if it is good or bad.. It can be in this life or in the other...

About Colombia, this a really beautiful and nice country for everyone who consider it very bad... There are good people and bad ones as in any other country... We just have to take time to know the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with and his/her family... Marriage is very serious... Well, for me it is for the whole life since I don't believe in divorce...

Next time don't hesitate... I lived in USA for two years, and when I left the country I had only about 2 months in a relationship with my now fiance.. We had been friends before... I had the opportunity to get married, and not to leave the country, but I told my love and his family that before we got married I wanted him to meet my family, and we needed to take more time to know each other because marriage for us is for the whole life... He understood...and now we are about to start this process.... I miss my love so much... I tried to get my tourist visa to go and visit, but It got denied... Even though, I miss him a lot, I think It was a good decision because I have been able to almost complete my university, and spend time with my family... He met me here in my country for my birthday, and we got engaged, but we met in another city (Bogota) since he was gonna be here only four days... Now we are waiting for the best time, hopefully very soon, so he can come to meet my family... and we are hoping if everything works out for our good, we'll get married this year...

[Darnell 8,478]

Thanks everyone for the great advice. Yesterday I sent the embassy a letter stating I wanted to withdraw the petition. Yesterday before I sent the letter the case was in administrative processing. It hasn't updated today. I will call tomorrow as well. I've cancelled all my credit cards and requested new cards/numbers. I spoke to my lawyer who prepared all of our paper work, he thinks he did this just to get the visa, get into the US and then just disappear and stay here illegally.

Last weekend we were talking and he was telling me about how it was going to be so hard to leave his family. I called him back about an hour later and told him I would fly to the interview to be with him. He got mad, for the first time since we met, told me he wanted to do it himself. I thought it was strange, but let it go and thought it was just stress... Guess not. Its really difficult for me to understand how someone could talk to someone for hours and hours for weeks/months and just be lying the whole time. Personal details, talking about family, friends, future life. Wow. was depressed, then angry, now I'm just disgusted and want it to be over.

Follow up today, via telephone (if you have any good number into the IV Unit there)

and ask

if they received your letter of withdrawal, and

ask to speak to a Vice-Consul . It may be that you schedule a time to talk with a Vice-Consul via telephone.

did you send the letter via fax or email or something else? please let us know which medium you utilized.

Good Luck, and GodSpeed !

[James&Jhon 5]

Thanks everyone for the great advice. Yesterday I sent the embassy a letter stating I wanted to withdraw the petition. Yesterday before I sent the letter the case was in administrative processing. It hasn't updated today. I will call tomorrow as well. I've cancelled all my credit cards and requested new cards/numbers. I spoke to my lawyer who prepared all of our paper work, he thinks he did this just to get the visa, get into the US and then just disappear and stay here illegally.

Last weekend we were talking and he was telling me about how it was going to be so hard to leave his family. I called him back about an hour later and told him I would fly to the interview to be with him. He got mad, for the first time since we met, told me he wanted to do it himself. I thought it was strange, but let it go and thought it was just stress... Guess not. Its really difficult for me to understand how someone could talk to someone for hours and hours for weeks/months and just be lying the whole time. Personal details, talking about family, friends, future life. Wow. was depressed, then angry, now I'm just disgusted and want it to be over.

I'm really sorry to read all this Topic, not only because is Colombia, also because is a samesex relationship like mine, and all i can say is just try to move on. Long distance relationships are very very hard already and make us walk through blurred lands just because we trust eachother, i'm sorry you trusted the wrong guy but i bet that guy who lied to you will regret this... so take care of yourself for now and keep moving. Hugs

Regards.

James and Jhon.

[Darnell 8,478]

hey - just checking in - any news on this?