What do you do to keep from losing your mind ?

[Sinergy 3]

I hate waiting for anything, im so impatient. The only thing i found to take my mind off of things for a little while until im calmer is to rearrange rooms in my house, or go to the gym. My fiance is a rock climber, so when hes stressing over this wait he goes climbing. Nothing really takes your mind off of it completely though. Me and my fiance's son looks exactly like him, so no matter what i do when i see Joshua, i think about my fiance. But i find physical work to be the best for me.

[djcess 0]

Hi all. Seeing that we're all going through the same stressful, excrutiating process here, I thought I'd pose this question to everyone. What do you do to keep from losing your sanity throughout all this?

Seriously, there are days (such as I had yesterday and the day before) that I am such a nervous wreck I have hard time concentrating on the simplest of things and sometimes the crying does not want to stop. I worry incessantly as it is. Unfotunately that is my nature in the first place, but dealing with this entire process and being separated from my love is almost more than he or I can bare on a daily basis. We get to talk on the computer every day and that definitely helps but we all know nothing is like being in your love's arms.

This is honestly the most painful thing I've ever had to endure in my life thusfar. I'd appreciate anyone who wants to share their thoughts on this particular subject.

SAME HERE!

I go to the gym almost everyday with my bestfriend and pour things out to her. She also applied for a visa but only the tourist visa. It only took her 2 months then her visa was finally mailed to her. I think it's not good to always talk bout our problems regarding the k1 to our fiances because base from my experience, it's only gonna make things worse. Talk it out to your bestfriend instead, she can handle all the screams and the mood swings unlike our honeys hehe! Like right now, this NOA2 waiting thing is driving me crazy again.... got to hit the gym before i call up my fiance with this mood!

[isleta521 5]

Sometimes i just wanna a beer... ahahaa

Hugs

I hear that!! Pass me a Skol anyday!!

(My girls are asleep)

Hang in there!! Bracos

[shannon65 2]

I stress a lot about it (not as much now that the process is under way), I think he does not stress so much (because mostly so far I have taken care of the paperwork and understand the process better than he does at this point), I'm just explaining to him how it goes....what I do is talk to people about it (my family), e-mail and talk to my fiance on the phone, work hard and try to concentrate on my job (I'm paid by production, so I try to accomplish as much as possible) to make the money we're going to need, and most of all....working on wedding plans.....not the date which I don't have much of an idea of....but everything else. Looking at wedding dresses is a lot of fun. Also clean and straighten up the house, keep busy when I'm not working...and my son keeps me busy too.

[VetsWife328 7]

Right about now,with a new unexpected delay which means that we can't even put the petition in,I AM going insane.And by God I would like to know what I could do so I will get through this half way ok now.

I do agree that this whole thing kinda takes over everything.

Jim and I are also talking about Immigration and problems related to that 90% of the time,the bad thing is I didn't even realize that until now after I just read this post and the replies to it.

It really is a stressful and none the less painful time.

But I believe that all of us having to go through all of that will have much stronger marriages and relationships than people that don't have to "fight" to be together.

It's easy to fall in love,get engaged and get married-but all of us here are tested and questioned before we can actually be with the person we love.That stress,the heartache,the tears will jsut make us and our marriages stronger.

And in the ned,I believe that if two people are meant to be together hey can beat all odds and will end up living happily ever after.

Natasha

[Lizzy 0]

Well for me this whole journey has and continues to be the MOST worrysome journey of my life.

6.5 months down the line and we just got our NOA2, at least we have that now!.

I hope it goes fast and that i get the packets, medical etc all done while im home again and wont have to be away for long, but who knows.

The ways i get through this vary. I moan to Steve, all the time (bless him, hes so good about it).

I look after my little girl who is 4, do gym with her (baby gym), see family, go to see friends in London, write emails, read, read VJ, walk, shop, CRY.

Some days i feel there is no light at the end of this, some days i pull my a*** togther and try and live for now.

Your time will come, if you need a friend, IM me.

[mrswooten4ever 0]

Yup We all have good days and bad days. Talking on the phone and chatting on yahoo everyday makes a world of a difference but what really keeps me going is knowing that the new life that is waiting for us all when we are together is worth anything in the world. Oh yeah occasionally I vent at Mike and he's so calm and collected he has me laughing in minutes!!! And knowing that all the guys here on VJ are going through the same thing makes such a difference!

Adele

[rebeccajo 14]

If all you are doing is computer chat, then no wonder you are blue. I could have never survived without voice contact at least. If you can't afford to call, use Skype like suggested before.

I spent tons of time on VJ too.

It was also harder for me if we didn't have a visit planned. I always needed some kind of date so I knew when I would see him again. I was not a nice lady whenever I was in limbo.

Everybody says this will pass and someday it will be over. This is true, but.....I can tell you, as one who is now 'done.....I have not forgotten what it was like to be apart. We both marvel at how we did it. And we are both glad it is over.

[StellaR 0]

Yes, I find it so difficult to stay positive through all this but some how when one of us goes down the other always seems to help bring us back up. Just one of the many reason we are going through all this and we are both extremely emotional people anyways and have both had pretty lonely lives in the romance department. As they say "If it doesn't kill ya, it can only make you stronger".

We have become quite addicted to the Chess game on Messenger. Makes us feel like we are actually sharing something, playing, chatting, sharing pictures and we may even learn to be good at chess in the meantime. OK, we'd rather be improving our kissing techniques but well we are even getting good at writing about that. We've discussed becoming erotic writers after this "OOOhhhh baby.....Check"

Stella.

[chocolaterie 0]

heh, I think once I entered this insanity I became a borderline shopaholic, that is a shopaholic on a budget!

And I've found the more I tell my story the less power it has over me.

[*Robert* 2]

For me, I work as much as possible, and stay in constant contact with my fiancee. She goes to a fitness center everyday, all day, and uses that to distract her. We e-mail each other everyday, and we talk on the phone at least two to three times a day. When it was getting to bad, I flew over to see her for a week, which really helped, though at that point, without knowing anything, was not as pleasent, since there was still so much stress.

[KarenCee 3]

If all you are doing is computer chat, then no wonder you are blue. I could have never survived without voice contact at least. If you can't afford to call, use Skype like suggested before.

I spent tons of time on VJ too.

It was also harder for me if we didn't have a visit planned. I always needed some kind of date so I knew when I would see him again. I was not a nice lady whenever I was in limbo.

Everybody says this will pass and someday it will be over. This is true, but.....I can tell you, as one who is now 'done.....I have not forgotten what it was like to be apart. We both marvel at how we did it. And we are both glad it is over.

I agree with Rebecca....some voice contact is crucial, if you can make it possible. I spend a lot of time here on VJ too. It's helps keep my sanity Having a date set aside for a visit...that helps tremendously!!!

I don't think we'll forget the stress and the pain of being apart either....we both know its temporary, but the stress level is still there, the loneliness is still there...and that won't be easily forgotten.

Hugssssssssssssss

Edited March 12, 2006 by KarenCee

[Cassie 8]

1. I worked. Lots. fortunately, the job I had needed me to do lots of OT and I had like 5 projects going on at any given time, so my mind was occupied a lot.

2. Took lots of walks with my mom, and spent time with my parents/family as much as possible.

3. Spent time at my favourite place (the beach)

4. Packed up my apartment, and sorted out all my stuff.

5. Talked to Jerry lots.

6. Planned my wedding, and spent time with my mom making things for it (favours, invitations, etc).

7. Spent lots of time on VJ

The key is not to dwell on the immigration process TOO much, or you will seriously go nuts. I had my ####### days, but I managed to not stress about it too much by doing other stuff. It isn't worth the potential ulcers.

[LebaneseMama 1]

Before I worked part time and went to school full time. I became depressed and cried alot. Now I work full time and go to school full time. I don't have the time or energy to be depressed. My advice to anybody would be : do not allow yourself to sit around and feel sorry for your self. Get busy ! Fill your time and trust me it will get better.

Another thing is when I'm feeling down my husband is feeling great and optimisitic, when he calls me feeling depressed I'm feeling great. Out of the two years we have been going through this hell ... I think it was twice that we were both depressed and just cried and prayed on the phone. We talk as often as possble and are reallllly connected in each others lives. We both have crazy schedule that are so jam packed that we have to stay healthy to maintain our jobs and lives. I am sooo glad I took the full time job, he is sooo glad he transfered to somewhere far from his home. This makes our days longer and busier. I know it sounds terrible .. but it has worked for us. Really worked. Hope everything gets better for everyone

[meddykomp 0]

Sometimes I think I have lost it already.