What do you do to keep from losing your mind ?

[Lyric 0]

Hi all. Seeing that we're all going through the same stressful, excrutiating process here, I thought I'd pose this question to everyone. What do you do to keep from losing your sanity throughout all this?

Seriously, there are days (such as I had yesterday and the day before) that I am such a nervous wreck I have hard time concentrating on the simplest of things and sometimes the crying does not want to stop. I worry incessantly as it is. Unfotunately that is my nature in the first place, but dealing with this entire process and being separated from my love is almost more than he or I can bare on a daily basis. We get to talk on the computer every day and that definitely helps but we all know nothing is like being in your love's arms.

This is honestly the most painful thing I've ever had to endure in my life thusfar. I'd appreciate anyone who wants to share their thoughts on this particular subject.

[raymaga 25]

Yes, we can all relate to the stress you are talking about. I doubt there is anyone on VJ who can say they didn't experience some stressful periods and low times.

The one thing that my fiance (the US citizen) found very aggravating when we were going through our K-1 process, was my incessant desire to talk about immigration. I am a stresser too, and thought of every possible thing that could go wrong. Try to talk about other "fun" topics, about how your life will be when you are finally together, and positive things that happened in your day.

Hopefully, you will get your approval quickly and you will be together soon.

Best wishes for a smooth, speedy process.

[gym 0]

I understand exactly how you are feeling..we all have our tearful days..what i do is go to the gym and let all that stress and frustration out..you just got to stay positive and know that your time to be together will come soon...and i am sure that for all of us it will be worth the wait.You will have the rest of your lives together

[isleta521 5]

Exactly what I love to do to pass and Kill the cursed time. Workout and lift weights and run. Spend time with my daughters on the weekends that I have them ( I have them this weekend ). And bury myself in work, a lot of work. Other than that It drives us all crazy. depressed, and just knowing there is nothing else to do but wait and hope for the best.

[Ephesia 0]

We had to file through Nebraska, and at that time I thought I'd never survive the waiting. The waiting was also prolonged coz my dear hubby (then fiance) had forgotten to enclose evidence of our having met, and we got an RFE for it.

During that waiting period, I did the following (some in combination with others) at least several times:

1. Cry.

2. Complain.

3. Play mahjong with my family.

4. Window-shop.

5. Watch way too much TV.

6. Read.

7. Complete jigsaw puzzles.

8. E-mail.

Textbook as this may sound, you WILL survive. One way or another, you WILL find the necessary determination and strength. And you WILL make it to the end to begin your new life together. One important thing the K1 and AOS processes have taught me: commitment is difficult but certainly rewarding.

Hang in there. Keep your chin up. And all the very best in your journey.

Edited March 10, 2006 by Ephesia

[irishgirl73 0]

I called my man the other day to ask about a certain form for his interview................he politely stopped me and said "Hi luv how was your day?"

this process has a way of "taking over" everything. It is the little things that are important-the "I love you", "I miss you", or just plain old "hello" don't be like me-and obsess over all the this. Easier said that done-I know I never though "WAITING" could be so damn stressfull.

I have been going back to yoga-I highly recommend it if you can go.................very calming.

As for your question-how do we stop from losing our sanity? I have lost mine so I can't help there

[dirtyd301 0]

i have good days and bad days. i am a huge stresser/worrier as well. working alot is a good solution to not stressing but somedays that doesnt even stop me. what i do to help make myself feel better is think about what is to come in the few months that they will return. think about your wedding day, going on a nice trip together or even having a family one day. it really does help the situation. also thinking about maybe taking this time to spend alot of time with your friends and doing things for yourself that when you do get married you might not be able to do as much. when you think about the 3-6months or so that you will be apart is nothing compared to the rest of a lifetime you will spend together!! i hope these thoughts help you. but until then i feel your pain and good luck!

diana and enrico

[Jasman0717 9]

We chatted on Yahoo Messenger and talked on the phone allot (to the tune of $300 to $500 a month)

[loonphang 0]

i understand how you feel. i had the same experience like crying, but at certain point....you will feel better when u realize that u just have to wait like everyone here. Good luck.

[mylovenin 0]

The funny thing is once you think you got it made the process will find something to stress you out.

As I mentioned in the sawadee k-1 thread, my fiance had her visa interview today in Bangkok/USEmbassy. With everything going well and what appears she will get her visa they take her # and say we will call you when your visa is ready. They of course gave her no time frame and no way to enquire what is going on with the status of her visa.

It feels like I am waiting for an arms dealer to call me in some Bogota fleabag hotel and if I miss the call they will never call back or notify me about a next call. Reference from the movie "Spies like us."

Normally people get the interview and are told when to come back and pick up the visa--usually 3pm the next day--in Bangkok. This is the first time I heard of the call back happening. I would think that if you are not going to get the visa they will tell you that moment. Now I sit in Embassy limbo.

Back to the thread--what do I do to keep from losing my mind--right now I am internalizing it and producing exess stomach acid to increase the evergrowing gastric ulcer that has formed since I started the K-1 process. More Prilosec please.

Now is there going to be a long delay and will I have to eat the Bangkok to Las Vegas ticket I bought for my fiance for the 21st of this month. By this time the ulcer should have penetrated--chalk one to the USEmbassy.

The saga of "the call back" and my ulcer to cont. I hope in the meantime if find some new coping mechanisms. I have little hair to pull out. Time to finally hang that punching bag.

Take care everyone--boy it felt good to get this of my chest.

Greg and Nin

[andyw71 0]

hi there, here's one for you if you have a hi-speed internet connection at each end. go to www.skype.com and download the free skype software. so long as you have inbuilt speakers and headphones, or you buy a cheap plug in set, you can talk via your computers for free.

my fiance and i had been spending plenty of $$$ on phone calls but this way we can talk for however long we like, and not worry about it. if you want to go a step further you could also get a webcam. i know not everyone can access this technology but if you have it, it is so very worthwhile.

good luck

andy

[Cristy 4]

I want to talk about the immigration all the time, it annoys him I think but he does not say anything lol.

I am doing remarkably well so far though. Usually when we say our last good bye I go crazy until we have another date to see each other.

This time was different, I know it will be 6 months(ish) and then no more good byes.

But yep it is so hard some days. I mostly cry alone. He does not like to know I cry because it makes him feel helpless to make it better.

[KarenCee 3]

We talk everyday, via computer. We email...we talk on the phone...we see each other via webcam. We're close to the point of being together always...no more airport goodbyes Hang in there, this is only temporary. We're here for you too

[iceyspots 0]

Working, reading, talking on the phone, bubble bath, mah jong tiles, organizing phone card collection, community service, studying, sending e-mails.. and the list goes on...

[Ana Paula 2]

You know what... I really dont know the name of this feeling i have right now...

Im really stressed, upset, sad, and lots of other things that i dont know how to explain. Im only trying to go to usa until Bryan finishes school, if he had finished it already, we shold be living here in Brasil.

I dont like this waiting, i dont want this, im everyday getting more and more depressed.

When i see people getting this in 3/4 months i have hope but when i see people getting it in 8/9 months i wanna die.... Sometimes i dont know what to do.

We really have to have faith and believe that our future will borrow all this pain and we, at least I, have to believe that god is looking for us...

God bless everybody here...

Sometimes i just wanna a beer... ahahaa

Hugs