your fiance/husband's first night in america...

[sophyie 0]

The next morning, he took me to the beach, we got a coffee from Starbucks and sat in the sand with our shoes off, and enjoyed the sunshine.

I know it's a pipedream but I would LOVE for him to come here when it's still summertime so that we could spend our first days together on the beach!!!

Just don't walk down Lynn beach - smelly!!!!

I used to live right on Beach street and 95% of the summer my windows were closed and the a/c was cranking and I STILL couldn't get the smell out of my appartment!!

Why does it smell/what does it smell of?

[doodlebug 3]

I am so upset I was not on here for this trend, but I will have to say that nobody is perfect. We are not perfect muslims and will never be, if one person does something but does not do another thing than so what. I have noticed in myself that sometimes we carry around a Christian mentality. We do not have hypocritics in Islam, we are all growing as muslims. Maybe you are doing something that I am not doing. I know people that drink and i think it is wrong but I do things that some may consider incorrect behavior. I think we should stop with the judging. Some people ask questions yes I know the knowledge does that mean I apply it all the time. I try my best but I do not. There are a lot of things that we have to consider as muslims and we never stop learning and growing. So what you think is not appropriate could be just that person growing out of a phrase. I am not sure what is going on but these trends of entertaining and we learn alot. I think I have learned the most hadith from this group then anybody. Personalities are different and yes they will clash. however when you are on a public board it is a free for all. I have learned this and I have learn the PM option.

I am a Green-eyed girl FAN. I was waiting for the new album!!!

That's cool! Just remember this post when she calls you out as a ####### because you didn't get married the way she deems necessary.

[doodlebug 3]

The next morning, he took me to the beach, we got a coffee from Starbucks and sat in the sand with our shoes off, and enjoyed the sunshine.

I know it's a pipedream but I would LOVE for him to come here when it's still summertime so that we could spend our first days together on the beach!!!

Just don't walk down Lynn beach - smelly!!!!

I used to live right on Beach street and 95% of the summer my windows were closed and the a/c was cranking and I STILL couldn't get the smell out of my appartment!!

Why does it smell/what does it smell of?

That is the million dollar question. Actually a few years back there was actually a reward posted for anyone who could figure it out. It smells like cr@p...literally!!! Some say it's the algae in that end of the water and some say it's the way the sewarage system works from a part of another town across the way. All I know is when I drive by it, sometimes even in the dead of winter, it stinks worse than a poopy diaper!

[sophyie 0]

That is the million dollar question. Actually a few years back there was actually a reward posted for anyone who could figure it out. It smells like cr@p...literally!!! Some say it's the algae in that end of the water and some say it's the way the sewarage system works from a part of another town across the way. All I know is when I drive by it, sometimes even in the dead of winter, it stinks worse than a poopy diaper!

Eeewww ok, don't take him there for the romantic walk then

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Again getting off the subject here again, but if (anyone) tells you, you are not living your life right, are you or anyone going to start that minute to change to what they say. NO each live to their standards and customs to what they believe best for them.

Now back, has anyone had the experience yet of explaining how to mow the yard or do the outside stuff?

[ya falaha! 0]

I live in an apt. No mowing, yard work or snow shoveling for us! Yay! Home ownership is soooo overrated.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Yes when it comes to repairs, i mentioned the house needs a few things done, painting, etc think he didnt have a clue that WE could actually do this stuff, and running of the lawnmower and weedeater are going to be interesting. Even to washing the car, when i was there he had to take it to someone, just things they are not used to doing daily.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

That's cool! Just remember this post when she calls you out as a ####### because you didn't get married the way she deems necessary.

I haven't called anyone a #######, but I have seen others call themselves and their friends whores.

Doodle, when the other women here attacked you for your hijab, I pmed you to offer you comfort. You could have taken that opportunity to tell me how bad you thought I was for my views then, but you didn't. You accepted my alms. None of the complainers has EVER tried to discuss this with me in private. You actually INSIST that all debate be public.

Part of the viciousness that keeps popping up here is a clear attempt on the part of some to lie to commit character assassination against me. Those of you who have or had paper marriages can feel however you want about it. You are the ones who believe yourself to know more about what Islam requires than those scholars who decided the rules for where you married. If you choose to feel bad because of what I say, then you obviously have lingering doubts about what you did or about the kind of man you will marry or married. Otherwise, this would not be such an issue for so long and would not require so many lies against me.

That the insults and lies keep coming from one "side" says more about you than it does about me. I am at peace.

Edited February 7, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Ahmed and i both wear our weding rings, have since the engagement party, WE feel like we're married, we live as we are (even apart) if anyone doesnt like it so what, thats what we choose and when the time comes we will probably go to Vegas. No ones business but ours.

[peezey 0]

but i must say....if light hearted topics like this offend you then maybe reading/posting on a non-muslim based or non-religious-whatever message board isn't for you!

Let's see. I'm neither muslim nor any other religion, but I don't consider talking about dildos and vibrators light hearted. In fact, I find it pretty gross. TMI I believe is the current colloquialism.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

You also don't come here claiming to be a practicing Muslim, sis. No hypocrisy there.

One ritual we're going to do is buy new wedding rings when he comes, insha'allah.

[peezey 0]

but my belief is sex is natural, fun, a wonderful part of marriage, and i'm not embarrassed or uptight about talking about it.

And one can believe that sex is natural, fun, and a wonderful part of marriage while also choosing to keep discussion about it behind closed doors.

I just have no interest in hearing about others' sex lives. Call me uptight, but that's just me. Maybe we'll have to implement sex-talk disclaimers in the topic titles in the future.

Not to mention, if one wanted to come here to talk about making cookies and leanring about halal ingredients, it seems difficult to avoid the sex talk. So your suggestion that we should go elsewhere if we're uptight really doesn't solve the problem (not to mention it's quite judgemental to say so).

[peezey 0]

Discussing your sex life, or lack of with strangers and mixed company is just tacky. And I would appreciate no suggestions to 'just not read' or 'go somewhere else'. I have longevity as you can see from my join date. I'm staying.

Jackie

Well I'm obviously a newbie but common sense tells me if you find something offensive that is as lighthearted as this... you just don't post in this topic! My point is why do so many women here have to be so rude all the time? if you posted something I found tacky I would never go in your post and tell you it was just for the sake of having my opinion known that i find you inappropriate! I would just ignore that topic because there are tons of others to read and post in! Newbie OR old school.

Again, you are being judgemental at the same time calling others rude. Don't post on an open forum if you don't expect comments on your posts.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

but i must say....if light hearted topics like this offend you then maybe reading/posting on a non-muslim based or non-religious-whatever message board isn't for you!

Let's see. I'm neither muslim nor any other religion, but I don't consider talking about dildos and vibrators light hearted. In fact, I find it pretty gross. TMI I believe is the current colloquialism.

When I, a single person, object to something said on a thread, I'm told by mutlitudes that I'm out of line. There's been two days of this (relentless) whining, and none of you whiners think what you're doing is out of line. It's you huys that keep the argument going after others have expressed an interst in ending it, but nooooo, you can't see that. The double standard would be amusing if it weren't so pathetic.

[natty bumppo 297]

i'm not sure how my fiance would feel about me buying him subway cards, giving him spending money, etc. i think i might hold off on that. he says not to bringh him gifts to morocco when i come, but i do (i can't help it. hehe) he always seems a bit overwhelmed.

The gift cards and a little spending $$$ can be an awkward moment. I've experienced doing this for my wife and good communication and the presentation were crucial. She also has her pride, as do I, and I'm sure everyone else does. There are things to consider:

it's no longer about just you or just me. at this moment it's about us ... we are now a couple working together and helping each other. We help each other always. the tides will turn and some day he will help you on this or another topic … then you will help him, etc … etc.

by doing this a potentially embarrassing moment is avoided. situations such as: honey I want to buy (maybe groceries)/ do something but I can't afford. can I have some $$ or can you pay for this?

(I'm thinking about their immediately available funds or ability to use their credit card in the US)

the gift cards/ $$$ can be used for anything. groceries, you, me, ... us

your SO also gains a little more immediate independence.

Alternatively, there is always the envelope in a drawer or placed under a magnate on the refrigerator that is our "slush fund". let him know it is available for his use for whatever reason.

One more thought. Don’t be concerned about giving him time alone at home. He may need a few hours of “down time” in the first few days. It will also show you trust him and that you are comfortable leaving him alone in what was your “personal territory”.

btw: You know your SO and will work with him to make the correct decisions. my comments are just that ... comments and thoughts.