K1 Refused

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

can someone confirm that a fiance visa has a expiration date/time limit as I am sure that it is less than one year from approval date.

sooooo, if this visa has been "approved" but has to wait a full year with clean test results, will the fiance visa expire and the OP must re-file?

That will depend entirely on the embassy, if they are willing to extend it every 4 months. The CO would have the authority to do so.

Since they said he is approved pending passing the future tests, then I would think that is what they intent to do.

I would remain in contact with the embassy every 4 months and follow the future tests carefully.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Well side note for future people using this post as a reference, Imad himself wasn't actively smoking marijuana himself but had trace amounts from second smoke as several of his family members and nearly all of his friends smoke it. We talked about him refraining from smoking it, but he ignored my instructions to avoid it all together. Hopefully someone else can avoid the same mistake he made. . . .

From your post I gather that he is an occasional pot smoker since you said he ' ignored your instructions to refrain from smoking it.'

So the second hand smoke doesn't really come into play here, he did smoke it himself. Also research has shown that second hand smoke from pot

very rarely gets detected and only under certain circumstances like very recent exposure and prolonged tight enclosure with pot smokers.

It seems to be his lifestyle not a mere "mistake" and therefore I don't understand him being ashamed or you being humiliated knowing he uses pot.

but it is up to you if you are willing to tolerate that lifestyle once he is living with you and

it is up to him to be motivated enough to leave the pot alone in order to pass the future drug tests to be with you.

You are very lucky to get this second chance and I am surprised he was not outright denied. Morocco is tough to get through as it is.

If he has a stubborn personality and does not want to follow your advice then you have a rough road ahead of you once he is here.

He will be in a new country with completely different protocol for just about everything and he better listen to you as he adjusts or you will

be bald from pulling your hair out.

Good luck !

[tonyb919 107]

op's story is falling apart by her own words...so what is it? he does not actively smoke but he does ignore you when you tell him not to smoke it?

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I'm still not getting this whole soap opera and yeah i said opera let's call it like it is and stop trying to be PC. bottom line is he failed his medical because he is, not was, is using "the real" drugs. you say you been with him for three years yet you did not realize he has, not had, but does have a drug problem, stop with the all kumbaya let's all hug by the campfire stuff, it is what it is he failed and he knew he would fail going into the medical. I would say count your blessings that it only got a one year delay but you and him need to have a real serious talk about his problem and you need to decide if you can roll with the unknown as far as his drug problem is concerned

Though once in a while we are correct in ASSuming things about others, I prefer to be PC and sing kumbaya by the camp fire because speculation

is not concrete as facts disclosed by the OP so I roll easy until the facts roll out one by one. It makes for a kinder approach and things can be said

without being rude and I don't think this topic reached soap opera proportions.

There is plenty of other 'stuff' on VJ that has surpassed soap opera material though this one is rather mild in comparison.

Moral of the story = Don't smoke pot and apply for a visa.

[alicia98981 128]

No, I should have clarified. When I first met him, he smoked it occasionally. He stopped when I told him that it would prevent him from finding work and give him issues with his visa over a year ago. However, he ignored my instructions to refrain from having anything to do with it in the sense, his friends and family still smoke it while with him though he doesn't and he's around them when they do. I'm going to assume that a lot of you have never either been to Morocco or the Middle East as many times as I have where there is a huge constantly smoking culture in both regions, chiefly among men who smoke, and then light up another, rinse and repeat. Skeptical as it sounds, being around people constantly smoking weed is no different from a parent constantly smoking cigarettes around their children and their children picking up second hand smoke. This is plausible to me considering where I grew up in the Deep South, police departments take all collect drugs and burn them out in the country. You knew this was happening because these small towns where I spent my childhood summers would make public announcements in the local paper recommending that people remain indoors at certain times due to the fumes produced. Furthermore, you must consider other cultures take on controlled substances is much different from ours so just as in Holland for example, while marijuana is legal, it is not so much in the US, thus the different attitudes toward acceptance of this "extracurricular activity." Just because you find something hard to believe doesn't make it less true.

He and I both were on the same conference calls with the doctor a few days ago when he himself said this is possible and actually quite common. We also were on the same call when the news came in from the embassy and we listed together to the instructions given by the embassy today. He ignored my instructions because he didn't believe in such thing as second hand smoke. It is what it is whether you believe my story or not. We are fortunate that this did not turn into a permanent ban, and that he only has to one year to get it together. I believe him, and I have faith in him. This is a bump in the road through our journey, but we just have to deal and keep moving forward. I'm certain he's learn his lesson and will now take these cultural adjustments more seriously. As far as my humiliation goes, it is embarrassing when you've set a date, a time, people are coming and you have to explain " hey he's not coming for another year, sorry for the false alarm." and the fact that I wished the doctor to hell and moaned and groaned about why he didn't get his visa. It was his own fault and I blamed the doctor! Furthermore, Imad should be ashamed, because if he had listened to my advice instead of citing his family and friends, culture, and disbelief that murphy's law is alive and in full effect i.e. don't be around marijuana point blank period, if you're not smoking it, we wouldn't be in this predicament now. He screwed up and now we have to pay the price for it.

Edited January 24, 2015 by alicia98981

[ItsGonnaBeWorthIt 191]

What's sad is that he doesnt listen to you , all the money you both spent all the time you spent and it could of been an easy approval if he would just stop smoking. I mean even when yall found out when his intetview was he couldn't just stop being around those people just to get through this situation ? My thing is I see a few people get denied even when they tell the medical that they smoked in the past but to find it in your system whew . Well we shall see how he acts within this year im hoping this opens your eyes and opens your mind to what's in the future .. Keep your head up stay strong and consider that for a visa which will bring you two together he didn't listen figure if your ok with that for the next 70 years or so ..

Praying for ya

Edited January 24, 2015 by ItsGonnaBeWorthIt

[Ismael&Blair 66]

This is a bump in the road through our journey, but we just have to deal and keep moving forward. I'm certain he's learn his lesson and will now take these cultural adjustments more seriously. As far as my humiliation goes, it is embarrassing when you've set a date, a time, people are coming and you have to explain " hey he's not coming for another year, sorry for the false alarm." and the fact that I wished the doctor to hell and moaned and groaned about why he didn't get his visa. It was his own fault and I blamed the doctor! Furthermore, Imad should be ashamed, because if he had listened to my advice instead of citing his family and friends, culture, and disbelief that murphy's law is alive and in full effect i.e. don't be around marijuana point blank period, if you're not smoking it, we wouldn't be in this predicament now. He screwed up and now we have to pay the price for it.

I am glad that you both are taking this in strive & the fortunate thing is that he wasn't permanently banned.

I say in many ways that this is a blessing in disguise in terms of giving you and him more time to learn about each other's personalities and see how much of a compromise you both will give & take in your relationship with each other.

I have to say that from my personal experience with my dear Moroccan husband, we fell madly in love in the beginning and it was a whirl wind romance between us online. We being in two different continents with different cultures and customs during our courtship. But we also knew we have more similarities and it would be worth it when he is here. He told me that he would listen to my advice (since I'm older than him & I'm established here) where he would expect that I listen to him and follow his customs when I'm in Morocco. But I am admitting that I learned a lot about marriage overall (married for 2 1/2 years and my hubby being here 1 1/2 year and us getting ready to file the removal of conditions on his green card).

The main thing is that you cannot change anyone or expect that person to change them in a marriage. You have to accept them for who they are because if you don't, the marriage will be a bumpy one. And this goes for any marriage whether it's marrying someone from the US or any other country, you will not know truly know the quirky person's habits until you live with that person.

But like in any marriage, it takes love, communication, compromise & effort to make it all work. So good luck and best wishes! Keep us posted because I would love to read your update & the happy final arrival!

Edited January 24, 2015 by Ismael&Blair