Lying during naturalization interview - any consequences?

[Darnell 8,478]

About cheating: well nobody wants that in their life but if the husband is checking her computer seems he is a controller and who knows why she was looking for someone else to be with.

I totally disagree about the 'controller' label you're trying to use here .

Observation is not controlling.

Seeking computer forensic evidence is also not controlling.

There may or may not be privacy issues concerned/involved, but there is huge difference on ownership of gear and use of gear.

[CowBoE 429]

So my wife lied during her naturalization interview (i-751) a few weeks ago. I wasn't there, but she left her skype account open on the iPad and I read about her concern over this fact in a conversation she was having with the guy (one of the guys) she's cheated on me with.

I know the USCIS agent's ID who interviewed ber so I can report it directly to the correct person.

I believe her lie related to our marriage status. We seperated on Dec 10. I'm certain she was asked and did not truthfully disclose the status of our marriage. From what i've read, it's not a huge deal for people this far along in the naturalization process to be divorced or seperated, but lying under oath during the interview is a big problem. She's lied so much to me and my family that I have no problem throwing her under the bus.

My question is if I report this and she gets deported what happens to my son? Would he stay in the US with me? Is there a chance that she would still be able to stay here?

Ever since she began insisting on a divorce she has also been telling me how she will be going for physical custody. I have been the primary care giver but judges usually side with the mother in cases with children this young. I will do anything to maintain as much custody as possible over my son and if she has to leave the country I'm fine with that. I know that if I don't report it and she does get major custody I will regret not having persued this.

For the record she also cheated on the interview for the $90k/yr job she just got.

Please advise. I know a 2 year old also needs his mother, but I know our son is better off living with me. And this would likely reduce the anticipated costly legal expences we'll be facing with a custody battle.

Sorry to hear the news. And I can imagine the frustration you are going through...

That said, from a neutral 3rd party person, who's emotionally unattached from your situation,

some of the best things you can do in such circumstance are to...

1) You, her, and everyone else can choose who they like or how they want to live their life,

and it's not uncommon that we (human) change our mind over and over.

2) If you and your wife ends up in a nasty divorce and bad mouth each other,

your child will suffer the most and can leave him with lifetime emotional trauma.

3) If you want to stay in close contact with your son with least hassle in sharing visitation rights,

and if you want the best for your son, I think it's best to divorce peacefully.

4) Emotional battle and revenge mind will only prolong and deepen your pain,

drain your pocket book, and all 3 of you (you, her, and child) will only suffer.

5) Ideally, she stays in US, has stable job, and can live happily...as well as you,

so that child can grow up seeing happy father and mother (though separated).

I know its a painful time, but you look young and with this experience,

I'm sure you can find another person that you can be happy with.

Try to resolve this in a peaceful manner as possible, to minimize your suffering,

and so that you can focus in new start.

Best of luck!

[acme555 0]

I totally disagree about the 'controller' label you're trying to use here .

Observation is not controlling.

Seeking computer forensic evidence is also not controlling.

There may or may not be privacy issues concerned/involved, but there is huge difference on ownership of gear and use of gear.

Hi Darnell, I did some research on this website and it seems that you are very familiar with Dallas USCIS office.

Can I ask several post AOS interview questions from you? Don't know what's the best way since you don't accept message?

[melanieuk 19]

I totally disagree about the 'controller' label you're trying to use here .

Observation is not controlling.

Seeking computer forensic evidence is also not controlling.

There may or may not be privacy issues concerned/involved, but there is huge difference on ownership of gear and use of gear.

All of these fall under the "control" category.

[Cathi 5,771]

It isn't in the best interest of the child to have her deported. Even though she hasn't made the best decisions as far as cheating goes, she is still his mom. If you were to get her deported then you would have to deal with an international custody battle. If it were me I wouldn't want to take the chance of my child being taken out of the country. If you file for divorce and she stays in the US you can ask the judge for full physical custody and if he doesn't grant that you can get equal shared custody and ask the judge to require her to stay in the state you currently reside in. Many people have stipulations like this in divorce agreements and the judge will do what is in the best interest of the child. The first thing you need to do is contact a divorce attorney and have a consultation. Best of luck ad keep us updated

[Cathi 5,771]

Seems nobody is seeing the point of view of the wife.

She is doing everything she can to be in USA with the child/ and work in her field.

About cheating: well nobody wants that in their life but if the husband is checking her computer seems he is a controller and who knows why she was looking for someone else to be with.

Focus in the child that need mom and dad. A deportation will came back and bite you right in your neck. If Im your son and I found you make my mom deported and have a horrible life just because you want to revenge I will hate you with all my heart.

Maybe you win now, but believe me: in the future you will regret taking this decision.

checking the computer isn't controlling. His wife is cheating and he has every right to know what she is up to, especially since they have a child together. He found out that she was planning on moving to another state and bringing the baby with her. Had he not done his homework he never would have found out her plans until it was too late. I don;t think there is anyone here who wouldn't do the same. If your spouse were cheating on you, you can't tell me you wouldn't do what he did. I know I would.

[Sweetcheeksss 91]

I agree! If you suspect someone is being unfaithful or deceitful and you confront them and they are STILL deceitful, then you have every right to find out information on your own. At that point, you need to protect yourself.

[melanieuk 19]

I agree! If you suspect someone is being unfaithful or deceitful and you confront them and they are STILL deceitful, then you have every right to find out information on your own. At that point, you need to protect yourself.

Actually, you don't. It's still an invasion of privacy regardless. You do not know the OP's spouse's side of the story. Specially in this case that the OP knew already what was going on and has yet to formally file for divorce. And we're still all puzzled trying to figure out if this was removal of conditions or citizenship.

[Darnell 8,478]

All of these fall under the "control" category.

without the basic premise of control, no.

sure - they are attributes of one who is controlling,

but

these attributes of humans exist outside of being controlling as well.

I'm sorry - we're just gonna disagree on this one point, even if it seems to be a sticky point.

For you, it's not a sticky point.

For me, it's not a sticky point.

heck - you even draw the Venn Diagrams on our posits, and there's no intersections.

But I digress. Much.

[Cathi 5,771]

Actually, you don't. It's still an invasion of privacy regardless. You do not know the OP's spouse's side of the story. Specially in this case that the OP knew already what was going on and has yet to formally file for divorce. And we're still all puzzled trying to figure out if this was removal of conditions or citizenship.

she never said it was an invasion of privacy, what she said it that he was CONTROLLING. Tow totally different things

Edited January 15, 2015 by mimolicious

[melanieuk 19]

she never said it was an invasion of privacy, what she said it that he was CONTROLLING. Tow totally different things

Actually, they're not. They're one and the same. You're controlling because you feel insecure about what the other person is doing in their own privacy.

This is going completely off topic.

OP - could you clarify if this is removal of conditions or citizenship?

[frody 14]

If you do all the job trying to deport your wife, and it came later you were treating her, if came out that she was looking for someone else because you beat her, or you have a jelousy problem and act like a control freak person. This will be a declaration of war.

She will probe abuse of your side and you will lost what you look for , the son custody forever.

A kid need both parents. all this obsession means you still hurt or care for her. Think IF in the future its what you want. because maybe reasons to stop to love someone can be any. or just none.

There is a lot of divorced couples that share the love for the son and thats it. They help each other and the kid grows knowing he has the inconditional love of both.

In Spain there is a legal figure that its call alienating the kid and is penalized by law. When a parent try to influence the kid to think the mom or the dad were BAD and thats why they dont have any more contact.

1 calm down and breathe

2 think whats best for your kid

[Ugly_American 11]

Yes we had very fast approval. Never understood why. One theory is that our case was randomly expedited due to a training exercise.

This was the n-400 then.

I keep going back and forth on this. I doubt they would kick her out. Our seperation was verbal although i did move out. Lately i have been thinking that the USCIS might simply set back her citizenship by a few years. She would still have a black mark and it would definately cause her much stress. This would probably give me a leg up in the custody dispute. Sadly I often am so angry that I just want her to feel the pain I'm feeling. I want her family to suffer also. I want them to have difficulty getting here or visiting. It can't bode well for her custody if she was proven to have lied under oath.

[Lemonslice 4,922]

Yes we had very fast approval. Never understood why. One theory is that our case was randomly expedited due to a training exercise.

This was the n-400 then.

I keep going back and forth on this. I doubt they would kick her out. Our seperation was verbal although i did move out. Lately i have been thinking that the USCIS might simply set back her citizenship by a few years. She would still have a black mark and it would definately cause her much stress. This would probably give me a leg up in the custody dispute. Sadly I often am so angry that I just want her to feel the pain I'm feeling. I want her family to suffer also. I want them to have difficulty getting here or visiting. It can't bode well for her custody if she was proven to have lied under oath.

Her family is also your child, you know...

From my experience, nope, it would not give you a leg up. She is a legal permanent resident, her removal of conditions was approved ; her becoming a citizen, now, later, or never, doesn't weigh in the custody dispute.

[Ugly_American 11]

Her family is also your child, you know...

From my experience, nope, it would not give you a leg up. She is a legal permanent resident, her removal of conditions was approved ; her becoming a citizen, now, later, or never, doesn't weigh in the custody dispute.

If I report her then this could support the picture of her dishonesty along with lying to me and my family where she was going and what she was doing with other men while we were married. As it stands she's not even being forthright with who she has taking care of our son while she is working. I want her to learn a lesson about lying and I want also not to have to worry about what she is doing with our son. As for spending $30-50k on lawyers i really dont care because i have nothing meaningful in my life except my son and money weighs little compared to my time with him. Twice this week my wife has told me that I am a better parent than her. I am. We both know it. I want her in my son's life but I also want what's best for him. She still wants physical custody. I see an all out war. Why would anyone hold back anything? I do not see her getting deported but i see accountability and perheps difficulty at a time when we're fighting for custody.

Also i often think of it from another perspective. I think about what if roles were reversed and i was trying to gain a better life in the philippines, married, had a child etc. what do you think the odds would be of her and her family completely winning full custody had i cheated on her while living there? I suspect i would be lucky even to visit him.

I am close to sending a letter to the uscis and reporting her.

I appreciate all the advice but anger coupled with acquiring any advantage possible is whats on my mind. I did speak to a lawyer about this. Interestingly i could use the threat of reporting her in other states but in CA it's bribery.

Was it a mistake to drop nukes on Japan during WW2? Perhaps. Did it serve to end the war with the desired outcome? Think a out what's most important to you in your life and what weapons you would use to secure it.