Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

[Sister Fracas 5]

No one has come right out and said it, but there's been an awful lot of implication.

Agreed and I don't think anyone here is saying either is better or worse...just their decision...no?

*shrug* I guess I don't read it that way...but it doesn't really matter...as long as you do what makes you happy and who cares if someone else has a different opinion of it.

I agree, Frances. I did not read any of that implied (other than in the article that Christina posted a link to) in any of the reponses. I thought folks just explain what motivates them to change or not change names upon marriage.

oops...maybe I should go read the article... heehee

[pax 1]

It's possible I read things into certain responses that weren't there, I'll grant that. It bugs me, though, to see people post things like, "I want to be all his!" as rationale for changing their names, as though women who don't do so are somehow less committed to the marriage.

Maybe I'd feel differently if it were phrased as, "It's important to me to take his name to feel fully committed to the marriage," or somesuch. But I'm probably splitting hairs.

I don't want to offend anyone, either. I'm probably just feeling prickly! As I said, it's a deeply personal choice and I don't want to give the impression that one approach is more valid than another.

[Peggy 1]

I took my husbands last name

Why..........becasue I wanted too

[meddykomp 0]

At this point I have kept my maiden name ... because I can't even pronounce my husbands last name correctly

A guide to pronounciation / Handelshögskolan i Stockholm

Yeah, I have books and CD Roms, and he has said it to me a million and a half times, and my kids can say it just fine, but I just don't seem to get it right. I guess I will always speak swedish like I am American

[Sister Fracas 5]

No one has come right out and said it, but there's been an awful lot of implication.

Agreed and I don't think anyone here is saying either is better or worse...just their decision...no?

*shrug* I guess I don't read it that way...but it doesn't really matter...as long as you do what makes you happy and who cares if someone else has a different opinion of it.

I agree, Frances. I did not read any of that implied (other than in the article that Christina posted a link to) in any of the reponses. I thought folks just explain what motivates them to change or not change names upon marriage.

oops...maybe I should go read the article... heehee

Oh dear me....there is a lot in that article I don't agree with...

[Miranda&James 8]

Because having four names is not enough, I want to make it five

And for all the sentimental reasons, blah blah etc

[m_and_m20 0]

Whats wrong with being hyphenated????

My husband was very adamant about me keeping my name and hyphenating his to it. He also wants our kids to carry both names...mainly because my dad only had me (yup, only child here) and my husband said that he wants our kids to have both names to carry on my last name as well out of respect for my dad......

Even though i am hyphenated, I mostly sign only his name, its just easier...

[babybunny 2]

I come from a country where women never change their surnames upon marriage. In this age of identity theft and terrorists, proving one's identity is essential to getting anything done. Yet I don't understand why some people choose to go through the extra hassle of changing their names. Chaning name is especially chaotic for an immigrant. Someone enlighten me as to the reasons why you decided to change your surname knowing you will have to go through a lot of hassle.

I had to change both my names

first and last name.

I was happy about changing my last name . as far as my first name I was happy

he picked a name that was cute and that came from his heart. I saw it as romantic.

Edited March 10, 2006 by shonjaved

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I'm keeping my name because I love mine and he hates his -- he actually wants to take mine!

Plus, I've had this name for what will probably be more than half my life and I'm professionally established with it.

Though legally we (both) may be one of the annoying hyphenators - the cat's name on the vet files already is (hey, we don't have kids)

[KarenCee 3]

It's possible I read things into certain responses that weren't there, I'll grant that. It bugs me, though, to see people post things like, "I want to be all his!" as rationale for changing their names, as though women who don't do so are somehow less committed to the marriage.

Maybe I'd feel differently if it were phrased as, "It's important to me to take his name to feel fully committed to the marriage," or somesuch. But I'm probably splitting hairs.

I don't want to offend anyone, either. I'm probably just feeling prickly! As I said, it's a deeply personal choice and I don't want to give the impression that one approach is more valid than another.

That's why I said in my initial post that I didn't want anyone to misinterpret my opinion. When I said I wanted to be completely his, that's not the whole reason for changing my name. I feel that taking Joel's name WILL help me feel fully committed to him and our marriage. I'm not always great at phrasing things

Edited March 10, 2006 by KarenCee

[ChristinaM 0]

Pax, I have a colleague who has been married for nearly 20 years, has been very successful with her maiden name and has only recently (in the last year) used her married name professionally. Granted, it is "Raczkowski", though!

[babybunny 2]

I forgot to add..

my moms husband took her Last name.

because, it carried more calibour in the community.

[ChristinaM 0]

Oh dear me....there is a lot in that article I don't agree with...

As I said Frances, me either. I just thought it was interesting.

Edited March 10, 2006 by clmarsh

[Fuzzness 2]

Pax, I have a colleague who has been married for nearly 20 years, has been very successful with her maiden name and has only recently (in the last year) used her married name professionally. Granted, it is "Raczkowski", though!

How do you pronounce that? Ratch-kowski?

[meauxna 15]

On the naturalization application, the immigrant is asked if they want to change their name---the one time they get to do a legal name change for no charge. My husband was going to change his surname to mine, which I thought was pretty cool.

I never changed because 1-my age when we married 2- professional reasons 3- didn't really like the way my first name went with his last name 4- wasn't an important issue for us, but we did discuss it at length.

Our personal attachements to the "why" we think it's a good idea are *so* cultural. Which does not make them invalid, only applicable in one cultural mindset. I love the example of Nani--it's just *not* the done thing where she's from and all of those reasons given here (makes me feel closer, I'm his, our bond, family etc) are simply the rules of *our* culture. I'll bet Nani doesn't feel any less a part of R's family for not having the same surname.