screw it, we're going to the courthouse

[WifeOHunkyJohn 2]

Honey you have my sympathy.

While I am not Catholic, I did have my own minister in the UK try and sabotage my plans because of immigration policy versus his own version of church rules. Needless to say, we got what we wanted in the end, and our eventual wedding was everything and more I could have dreamed of.

So while it might be driving you crazy, and you feel like you are trying to do backflips to please everyone else, all I can say is look to what you and your beloved want - which is to be together forever under God, and it will happen.

And when it does, it'll be another great chapter to add to the story of your life.

That's what a dear friend likes to tell me.

Edited February 2, 2007 by WifeOHunkyJohn

[deathbydalbhat 0]

I'd treathen to marry in a different religion ceremony 'cus he's just making things too hard.

Our local Hindu temple is being very accomodating to our situation, so maybe try that...

[Caladan 19]

Now, kids, what did we all learn about the K-1 visa? Single-use visa, one time entry, within six months of issuing the K-1. So if C. gets the visa on 2/14, what *can't* he do in April if we want to get married in July? Anyone? Anyone? Caller #1 go ahead...... is it... enter the U.S.? YES INDEED.

He can enter the U.S. in April without activating his K-1 visa, then go back and use the K-1 later

(within 90 days of your scheduled wedding.)

That's up to the discretion of the border officer; not the sort of thing you'd need to stake a weekend trip on. (He wouldn't be driving down, so it's not like he can just turn around with little cost.)

[mawilson 2,133]

Now, kids, what did we all learn about the K-1 visa? Single-use visa, one time entry, within six months of issuing the K-1. So if C. gets the visa on 2/14, what *can't* he do in April if we want to get married in July? Anyone? Anyone? Caller #1 go ahead...... is it... enter the U.S.? YES INDEED.

He can enter the U.S. in April without activating his K-1 visa, then go back and use the K-1 later

(within 90 days of your scheduled wedding.)

That's up to the discretion of the border officer; not the sort of thing you'd need to stake a weekend trip on. (He wouldn't be driving down, so it's not like he can just turn around with little cost.)

Small correction: it's up to the discretion of the border officer and God[*].

Arrange a meeting with the priest in April. If they let him in - great, otherwise it's not meant to be.

[*] Translation for atheists: God = luck

[Sinergy 3]

I know the catholic wedding is important, and it also has to be schedualed, something we can not do when dealing with immigration. Why dont you just do the courthouse wedding when he gets here, and then the catholic wedding once hes here and you have it schedualed? Thats what i had to do. We got married in the courthouse first bc immigration waits didnt leave me options on planning a wedding. In the summer we are having our wedding where everyone we know can come to it, and it be religious. Its really not a big deal to do it that way, its 2 anniversaries when me and ed think of it.

[Caladan 19]

I'm not sure the crazy church will allow us to get married civilly and then get married churchily.

Grrr.

[WifeOHunkyJohn 2]

I'm not sure the crazy church will allow us to get married civilly and then get married churchily.

Grrr.

then perhaps you need to find a different church

[sophyie 0]

I'm not sure the crazy church will allow us to get married civilly and then get married churchily.

Grrr.

Does it have to be THIS very one special church?

[Caladan 19]

Not sure. I think so. The church you get married in is usually the one you're a member of, and if my priest isn't willing to help us out, a priest at a different parish has even less reason to do so.

Grrrty grr grr grr.

[sophyie 0]

Not sure. I think so. The church you get married in is usually the one you're a member of, and if my priest isn't willing to help us out, a priest at a different parish has even less reason to do so.

Grrrty grr grr grr.

Go shop around! Can't hurt, can it?

I found this: http://home.catholicweb.com/covingtontribu...7&From=Home

it indicates, that you can have your marriage validated by the catholic church if it was an "out- of church" marriage...

maybe that helps?

Edited February 2, 2007 by sophyie

[misa 2]

Have you considered having him come visit you to meet with the priest, etc. and ask the consulate to reschedule his interview to a later date?

[zyggy 9]

I'm not sure the crazy church will allow us to get married civilly and then get married churchily.

Grrr.

We had the same problem in a way...

We had the courthouse marriage and then had a Catholic matrimony ceremony at a later date. It's not a big deal. The diocese even had a special form for it. Just tell him if he won't budge, then you'll do a courthouse ceremony with a subsequent convalidation (church blessing of your civil marriage) at a later date...

He has to allow the convalidation (Canon law requires it).. if he doesn't.. go to the bishop who will set him straight...

Edited February 2, 2007 by zyggy

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Not sure. I think so. The church you get married in is usually the one you're a member of, and if my priest isn't willing to help us out, a priest at a different parish has even less reason to do so.

Grrrty grr grr grr.

You may have to call a few parishes, but you will find someone who is willing to help with your circumstances. Most parish priests are overwhelmed with all the responsabilities of the parish and less inclined to go out of the way. More modern parishes rely on a network a lay people whose social skills are typically a lot better than an old fogy priest. When you call another parish, don't just speak to anyone - ask to speak to whoever does the marriage preparation at that parish and try to find one where it's either a lay person or a deacon. I'd recommend scheduling an appointment to meet with them in person. My father would get all kinds of calls from mother's of the bride demanding that they be aloud to use a horse and carriage to couples thinking that he could marry them on the beach. You might even call the Diocese and ask someone there for direction to a parish that could help you with your circumstances.

[Caladan 19]

Have you considered having him come visit you to meet with the priest, etc. and ask the consulate to reschedule his interview to a later date?

Here's the beauty of it. We can't set a date without the visa, because the priest doesn't want to bother unless he knows we're going to get married. (I think the priest thinks I just bought a groom on eBay.)

zyggy, did they make a mess about you 'cohabiting' after the civil ceremony but before the sacramental one? I'd really like for us to do it all properly, but doing a Catholic wedding all at once now seems to involve defying the laws of physics and the department of state, and skimping on the pre-Cana stuff.... if we can do civil in July and a convalidation in October, that would be okay with me.

[Velvettt 0]

Three words: call the bishop.

Three more words: call the cardinal.

The most powerful three words of all: call the Catholic media. I'd give you the name of the newspaper, but I've forgotten. (actually, I've blocked it. ) The Catholic church is well aware of its bad PR lately. Your local priest will be in deep doodoo when it becomes public knowledge that he is blocking the marriage of two faithful people (translated: the dwindling Catholic presence is actually going to gain warm bodies).

Don't sit and grrrrrrrrrrrr to yourself. Make some noise!