VAWA, Part 6

[mamaof3! 9]

Oh, and I am spending a good chunk of this weekend copying-and-pasting all that has been said in previous threads on the subject of evaluations

Sure, you can read the old post, make sure the person you find tells your own story clearly. The old post are have some guides or input on other survivors story.

[another_anxious_1 0]

Sure, you can read the old post, make sure the person you find tells your own story clearly. The old post are have some guides or input on other survivors story.

That is very true. Do you happen to have an evaluation you could share as a sample for my last-ditch effort to have my treating therapist write an evaluation? I am still hoping somebody will share.

For you, or anybody else willing to share, this is how to blank out identifying details in a PDF:

Option 1. It is easiest if you have Adobe Pro (I had it for work). It has a Redaction tool and you can redact with 'No Color' option to blank out certain information.

Option 2. This one requires a little more work. You can open the PDF with an image editor such as Photoshop and delete with Eraser tool (or similar)

I used it for work to create similar documents quickly based on existing similar ones. NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DO THAT WITH YOUR EVALUATION, just saying it is not that hard to do if you are willing to spend a few minutes of your time… I would guess a 20-page document would take 15 minutes to edit.

[leilabird 18]

Anxious, it's best for you to find another therapist to evaluate you. As you mentioned earlier that your therapist is a Ph.D. No Ph.D degree psycho therapist needs to be told how to do any evaluation. I dont think she, as a Ph.D doesn't know how to do evaluation at any kind. If she did need to see a sample, there's no ethic. She evaluated you and the USCIS didn't consider it enough evidence to prove you were mentally abused by your husband. Please listen to what Sandra said. Anybody should not share their personal evaluation, whether or not it's anonymous. Everybody's stories are different.

[mamaof3! 9]

anotheranxious1, it is illegal for me to share my phys evaluation with you, so I am sorry I cannot be of help. We are all going through things, If you have been through this journey like us on this forum, you should not have a real problem finding a real therapist to help you. Goodluck!!

[another_anxious_1 0]

anotheranxious1, it is illegal for me to share my phys evaluation with you, so I am sorry I cannot be of help. We are all going through things, If you have been through this journey like us on this forum, you should not have a real problem finding a real therapist to help you. Goodluck!!

Sorry, I never heard of it being illegal. Always thought the only thing necessary is the patient's consent, then even the psychologist herself can share with whomever she is authorized to do so.

Anyhow, I had a decent middle class background, then got married, lost my work permit, abuse, threats, fear, months at a shelter, still unable to work because they have not issued the EAD in over 130 days… PTSD, anxiety, depression - the whole shebang. So I DO know what everybody here is talking about.

It is just such a shame that having worked with a therapist for almost a year, I now have to look for another one and try to describe to her how things were a year ago, BEFORE I have done all that therapy and worked so hard to find peace again and move on.

AND find money to pay her for something insurance does not cover when I still am not allowed to work. Where is the emoticon for *banging my head against the wall*?

[another_anxious_1 0]

Anxious, it's best for you to find another therapist to evaluate you. As you mentioned earlier that your therapist is a Ph.D. No Ph.D degree psycho therapist needs to be told how to do any evaluation. I dont think she, as a Ph.D doesn't know how to do evaluation at any kind. If she did need to see a sample, there's no ethic. She evaluated you and the USCIS didn't consider it enough evidence to prove you were mentally abused by your husband. Please listen to what Sandra said. Anybody should not share their personal evaluation, whether or not it's anonymous. Everybody's stories are different.

I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression AND post-traumatic stress disorder. She just doesn't write the way IO want her to with all the minutiae, just high level. Instead of "her friend, Anna", she would say "support network" or some such. Sandra later said it is a good evaluation, just not good for immigration.

[leilabird 18]

USCIS is very thorough. They check everything. Yes it is illegal and considered as fraud. USCIS will find out and both parties ( who lent her/his evaluation and who borrowed it) will be held accountable.

There's no such thing as " The evaluation the way IO wants"

You have people's empathy here because we believe you suffered from abuse. At the end of the day, none of us have read thru your case in actuality.

Why do you keep asking "someone's evaluation" so rigorously when you may as well go see another therspist?

[another_anxious_1 0]

Leilabird, you misunderstood me. I was surprised at what you said, because I have shown my affidavit around when seeking a restraining order, to the divorce attorney, etc.

It was not for copying, as I put in capitals above, but just to show my therapist how other therapists do it. She tried to convince me noone in the field does such lengthy evaluations. We went to and fro in a very long conversation. I was very frustrated. She knows me very well as a patient. Also, she is covered by my insurance.

Nevermind if nobody is willing to share, I spent a weekend putting together a multi-page guide for her… hopefully, that helps. Otherwise, as Mamaof3! and I discussed, I am already planning to call around to find somebody more experienced with evaluations.

My story is unfortunately true. I made a big mistake in marrying this man.

Edited June 29, 2015 by another_anxious_1

[Angel66 4]

Leilabird, you misunderstood me. I was surprised at what you said, because I have shown my affidavit around when seeking a restraining order, to the divorce attorney, etc.

It was not for copying, as I put in capitals above, but just to show my therapist how other therapists do it. She tried to convince me noone in the field does such lengthy evaluations. We went to and fro in a very long conversation. I was very frustrated. She knows me very well as a patient. Also, she is covered by my insurance.

Nevermind if nobody is willing to share, I spent a weekend putting together a multi-page guide for her hopefully, that helps. Otherwise, as Mamaof3! and I discussed, I am already planning to call around to find somebody more experienced with evaluations.

My story is unfortunately true. I made a big mistake in marrying this man.

Hi there Another anxious, I don't think anyone here is doubting what you went through. I feel your pain and anxiety. Going through this process in itself is very stressful. I've spent many a sleepless night tossing and turning wondering whether my story would be believed. I was fortunate enough that I didn't need an evaluation. I had all text messages between my husband and I, plus witnesses so I suppose that was enough for them. I really hope you get this resolved soon. I'm still on my journey and although my VAWA has been approved still go through anxiety as I near the finishing line. Wishing you all the best. Stay strong, stay positive no matter how hard it may be.

[another_anxious_1 0]

Hi there Another anxious, I don't think anyone here is doubting what you went through. I feel your pain and anxiety. Going through this process in itself is very stressful. I've spent many a sleepless night tossing and turning wondering whether my story would be believed. I was fortunate enough that I didn't need an evaluation. I had all text messages between my husband and I, plus witnesses so I suppose that was enough for them. I really hope you get this resolved soon. I'm still on my journey and although my VAWA has been approved still go through anxiety as I near the finishing line. Wishing you all the best. Stay strong, stay positive no matter how hard it may be.

Angel66, THANK YOU!!! I sleep so bad now. Barely. The police did not believe me and told me so many mean things when I asked for their help. I cannot help thinking sometimes IO will treat me the same way.

I had many many messages and emails with my husband. Hundreds for bona fide, a couple dozen showing cruelty.

Leilabird, let us keep this a safe space for everybody going through the process. This is the only place I found to vent my anxiety and frustration and be understood, and I am sure it has been and will be just that for many others.

Edited June 29, 2015 by another_anxious_1

[leilabird 18]

Another_anxious1, thanks for the message and i hope you get help you need. Alot of people posted and offered advise to you because we all went thru what we went thru. We find help and support here. If you need to see a therapist at no cost I can give you phone number you can reach.

I don't know what made you think I'm keeping this website from you finding a safe place. I posted many times to offer emotional support. I know you are frustrated bacause USCIS is not buying your story. That doesn't mean you should snap at someone who took her time to empathize you. I am no longer commenting your posts. I wish you the very best of luck.

[biankat 0]

Anxious one, I feel your pain. This journey is not an easy one. You're in a constant battle with fear, anxiety, depression and worry. I understand your plight! Please ignore leilabird, she is one of the less empathetic ones, I have had my fair share with her. If I didnt know better I would think she was an Anerican Citizen born with a golden spoon in her mouth. Keep your head up, If I used a psycology evaluation I would definitely give you a sample so you can show your psycologist. I hope you get through with your report and everything works out with your vawa case. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

[another_anxious_1 0]

Thank you, biankat. Leilabird was very nice to me at first, I was just very hurt by the suggestion that I am a fraudster.

[TBoneTX 45,575]

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[leilabird 18]

You are mischaracterizing my comment. I never said you were a fraudster. I said using someone else's evaluation could be illegal, considered as fraud. With that being said,

Stop the drama, this is ridiculous.

Edited June 29, 2015 by leilabird