You, Him, and Money

[sparkofcreation 0]

Once I read something in some advice column that stuck – that the paychecks of both husband & wife should go into one joint checking account. All household/shared bills should be paid from that account (housing, utilities, repairs, shared phone & credit cards etc). Whatever is leftover, is divided in half and put into each of the couple’s independent checking/savings account.

I like the idea and think it would be great to implement. That way, the couple both know where the monthly expenses stands, contributes equally, and still has the satisfaction and independence of their own money to spend as they like.

Frankly, I think that's irresponsible. You're a couple, there should be "our" money there as well. What you're describing is having a roommate, not a spouse: shared housing expenses, but anything fun is me-me-me, not us-us-us.

I've heard of couples doing what you suggest, and they end up arguing about who's going to pay for the dinner out, and getting mad because one member of the couple spent "his" or "her" money while the other partner was saving for a house. In fact, I think it was on here that I read someone's comment about being an accountant or financial planner and working with a couple who each bought all their own groceries and kept them separate and would argue about who bought the milk last time and whose turn it was this time.

We take out a small amount of money each for ourselves right at the start of the month (we use it to buy gifts for each other and also to buy whatever we want that's just for ourselves, no questions asked). The rest goes into the joint checking account to pay not just bills, but anything we do together, and anything either of us *needs*, including things like new clothes and haircuts and Christmas presents for our families. (But if, say, I *want* a shirt but I already have plenty, I pay out of my money. But when I spilled ink on my tan work pants and ruined them, a new pair came from joint funds because I *need* to have professional clothes for work.) Whatever's left over at the end goes into *joint* savings and we don't spend from that unless we both agree.

We also have a budget on an Excel spreadsheet that allots a limit for going out, house expenses, clothing expenses, and groceries, although we do pull from the going out budget if there's a major unexpected expense.