Want to divorce before filing AOS

[NancyNguyen 1,658]

I think is not a fraud if we both have agreement because my mom in law wants i stay in US. She doesnt i back to home.

Your MIL's desire is not immigration law's perspective. There is no such agreement, that's why they need a bona-fide marriage. You don't have working marriage but still make arrangement for your GC, that's called fraud.

[Carla V 43]

that "agreement" is fraud because you would be pretending something is not just to get immigration benefits. The fact his family doesn't want you to leave doesn't mean he doesn't want you to leave... you are married to him and have a baby with him, not his parents... Try to fix your marriage for real or get a divorce without making them do something that could cause them troubles... (financially and legally) Ask yourself if they don't wanna see the baby leave or you... I think as any grandparent I would want to see my grandchildren, but don't let them get into a fraud to get you papers... is unfair and I don't think you would be willing to do that if it were your parents....

[kzielu 1,149]

So is that mean i can get my GC? They dont want i back to home.

Do you understand what fraud means ? Yes, you probably can technically get it, but fraud ever comes out it may be taken away at any time and you may be deported.

[California14 1]

what specific problems do you and your husband have that make you want to divorce him after a year? Are they problems that cannot be fixed?

The problem is huge. He addicted with Porn. we always argue and fight because of that. Because always argue and fighting we lose interest each other. There is no romantic felling between us. He never respect me as a wife and always talked swear words to me.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

So is that mean i can get my GC? They dont want i back to home.

Unfortunately USCIS does not care what they want. If you had an agreement, that absolutely would be a fraud as it's not a bonafide marriage. Now if you had an agreement to commit to therapy and counselling, different story. You need to prove that you're in things for better or worse. Not for green card.

This may sound harsh, but USCIS would rather see you go back home than grant a fraudulent greencard.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

The problem is huge. He addicted with Porn. we always argue and fight because of that. Because always argue and fighting we lose interest each other. There is no romantic felling between us. He never respect me as a wife and always talked swear words to me.

Is there any mental or physical abuse in your relationship? And I don't mean just swearing.

[Gussy & Chany 11]

I am sorry to hear this Novel. If you still do love each other, best thing would be to try to work things out together as a couple.

If not, I would suggest that you involve a divorce lawyer since you're really stuck.

Both ways will not work out. Staying with him just for adjusting your status is immigration fraud and you should not be considered by any means necessary!

Taking your child home for you without any legal agreements between you and your ex is basically child abduction. This is even worse for you because this could be a legal way for him to obtain full custody over your child.

Best thing for you guys would be to involve a divorce/immigration lawyer unless you know someone with the same issue and experiences. I wouldn't say this easily, but in your case it will be worth the money.

Good luck and hang in there!

[msbau764 245]

Unfortunately USCIS does not care what they want. If you had an agreement, that absolutely would be a fraud as it's not a bonafide marriage. Now if you had an agreement to commit to therapy and counselling, different story. You need to prove that you're in things for better or worse. Not for green card.

This may sound harsh, but USCIS would rather see you go back home than grant a fraudulent greencard.

and what about her kid? He has no fault in this. What is best for him/her is paramount.

The problem is huge. He addicted with Porn. we always argue and fight because of that. Because always argue and fighting we lose interest each other. There is no romantic felling between us. He never respect me as a wife and always talked swear words to me.

that addiction is something that many people have and can be dealt with, the same with your husband's anger issues. To be honest, you need to think what is best for your child.

[Gussy & Chany 11]

and what about her kid? He has no fault in this. What is best for him/her is paramount.

I absolutely agree! A kid needs his mom and dad even when they are going through a divorce. You need more information, tell your husband to act responsible and get a lawyer so you and your husband will be supplied with more professional and reliable information.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

and what about her kid? He has no fault in this.

Absolutely the child is something to think about. The child deserves both parents. However there is no way to obtain a green card this way until the child is 21.

Perhaps an intervention with help of the in laws would help over all?

[NikLR 13,232]

Staying together is NOT what is always best for a child. It is better for a child to be reared in a single parent home or by two loving parents who are separate than a home that is disjointed by yelling and fighting.

As for porn, unless it takes over a person's life, I have always failed to see why watching it would cause a problem. If you are not intimate with your spouse on purpose then that is at least an outlet for them without going outside your marriage.

If marriage counselling does not work then you can return to your home country if you do not plan on staying in the marriage. Committing visa fraud or obtaining a green card through fraudulent means can lead to deportation and a lifetime ban from the USA. Discussing it is against TOS on this website.

As for divorce, I suggest a family lawyer and to make an agreement that allows you to take your dual citizen child back with you and allows the father visitation. Unless you are an unfit mother a 4 month old child should be primarily with his or her mother. Grandparents have no parental rights and maybe they should have thought to help you AOS before your marriage went down the toilet.

[California14 1]

Is there any mental or physical abuse in your relationship? And I don't mean just swearing.

Of course there is mental abuse. We fighted and he always say swear words make my mental down. There was one physical abuse.

[onye uwaoma 131]

divorce process and immigration status are not connected.

many people think it is, but it's not.

sure, for you specifically, you not have any immigration status currently, and if you divorce, your path to immigration status is depleted.

Sorry, is hard decision for you two.

However, you might seek marriage counselor immediately, try to resolve differences with marriage counselor. Most marriage counselors have singular focus to save marriage - through exposing failure points and teaching both spouses how to be successful inside of the marriage. You two should go, immediately, and try for 3 to 4 months of meetings with a marriage counselor.

If there were no child, I would suggest you simply return to Indonesia. Since there is a child, it is your responsibility for both parents to be strong for this child, preferably together.

Great advice...hope the OP take this path you suggested... It'll very difficult to be far apart from one's own child for either parent...

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Of course there is mental abuse. We fighted and he always say swear words make my mental down. There was one physical abuse.

Swearing alone does not substantiate mental abuse. Your only other option would be to divorce and file for VAWA. However I don't reccomend that as a first choice by any means. Did you report the physical abuse?

[California14 1]

Staying together is NOT what is always best for a child. It is better for a child to be reared in a single parent home or by two loving parents who are separate than a home that is disjointed by yelling and fighting.

As for porn, unless it takes over a person's life, I have always failed to see why watching it would cause a problem. If you are not intimate with your spouse on purpose then that is at least an outlet for them without going outside your marriage.

If marriage counselling does not work then you can return to your home country if you do not plan on staying in the marriage. Committing visa fraud or obtaining a green card through fraudulent means can lead to deportation and a lifetime ban from the USA. Discussing it is against TOS on this website.

As for divorce, I suggest a family lawyer and to make an agreement that allows you to take your dual citizen child back with you and allows the father visitation. Unless you are an unfit mother a 4 month old child should be primarily with his or her mother. Grandparents have no parental rights and maybe they should have thought to help you AOS before your marriage went down the toilet.

Watching porn is always big problem in marriage. His addicted makes we do not have intimate. Watching porn is same like cheating. Maybe for you it is ok if ur couple watching porn but for me i can not deal with it.