husband's influence on wife's desire to work

[hihihi 2]

yes. there some amount of money mentioned in their prenup if they divorce. she don't want to divorce him, she wants to have a career and income while living with him. I don't know how the prenup money and his unwillingness for her to work at this time relate?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

yes. there some amount of money mentioned in their prenup if they divorce. she don't want to divorce him, she wants to have a career and income while living with him. I don't know how the prenup money and his unwillingness for her to work at this time relate?

You are the one who brought up the prenup, so hence people would think it is relevant. If she's got money in the prenup, then no, she doesn't have a right to complain about the living situation as long as she knew beforehand this is what he wanted.

[Lee&Ana 88]

If she is being provided for, she doesn't need to work. If she is so worried about what happens in the event of divorce she is focusing on the end of the marriage instead of the marriage itself. It sounds like a feminist is chirping in her ear.

[hihihi 2]

ok. that is good info

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Some people don't feel fulfilled simply being a housewife. If she wants to work, why not allow that?

[Kiv 32]

Some people don't feel fulfilled simply being a housewife. If she wants to work, why not allow that?

I agree, I have always worked but for a small period of time when I was waiting for EAD, I would not like to depend only on what my husband's wants to give me.

[Umka36 781]

If she is being provided for, she doesn't need to work. If she is so worried about what happens in the event of divorce she is focusing on the end of the marriage instead of the marriage itself. It sounds like a feminist is chirping in her ear.

It's quite interesting that you wrote this, since you were the one who is so fearful of the I-864 when you should also be focusing about your marriage or soon to be marriage. Not every foreign spouse (whether they are from a poor country or not) wants to be a house wife whether they are provided for or not, and to disregard this is quite telling of the person (control issue comes in mind).

[thatangela 134]

"I don't know how far the right of husband goes to stop his wife from working or doing what she wants."

Right?

None. Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

She's in America now and she can do whatever the hell she wants as far as her career goes. He cannot force her to stay at home and not have a job. And it's really cruddy of him to change his mind about her career expectations now that she's here.

Love,

A chirping feminist

[Merrytooth 5,748]

The husband should get a robot maid instead

[Kiv 32]

and i would like to get one of those robots too...

[hihihi 2]

its good to know she can work if she want without his influence at least thank you guys

[daviddelen 34]

The "influence" might be preventing or delaying the wife from getting a green card if she doesn't give into his wishes. This is not a small matter and something she needs to consider.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

The "influence" might be preventing or delaying the wife from getting a green card if she doesn't give into his wishes. This is not a small matter and something she needs to consider.

IMO that's almost as bad as somebody using a USC to obtain a greencard. She's not his child who needs to abide by his wishes in order to be rewarded. She's a human being.

Edited December 9, 2014 by Transborderwife

[Rob L 3,811]

Your friend is entitled , as a human right, to have meaningful work, a career path and assets. The accumulation of work experience and skills will be invaluable as she moves forward in this new country. Even volunteering will help with her integration into her new home does he oppose that as well?

Before one marries they should be looking for common expectations about marriage and ones role, shared live values , goals and interests and common. It is late now as they are married and there is a conflict. Consulting a professional marriage counselor would be in order as this sounds like a huge gap. If I loved a woman and had such a large gap in my understanding of the relationship, I would be running to a counselor to sort this out.

I always start out by assuming people have the best intentions, and I am reading this through your interpretation of her side of the story, but this is very concerning. If the husband has changed his tune about her working after the fact that is not a good sign. He is either not self aware enough to support a marriage or lacks integrity in this matter. Additionally The fact that her husband has restricted access to his assets while preventing her to accumulate her own is a red flag on many levels.

[daviddelen 34]

IMO that's almost as bad as somebody using a USC to obtain a greencard. She's not his child who needs to abide by his wishes in order to be rewarded. She's a human being.

I agree. I'm just commenting on the situation as described. Of course I think she should be able to work. My wife can't wait to get her EAD card and I wouldn't dream of trying to prevent her from working. However, this is something we talked about before we got married!