Support obligations for my Filipina wife after she comes to the U.S.

[lysander 14]

as much as possible build your own family... have a lot of friend here in US,,, they are not really happy living together with their in laws... or follow darnell advice... visit our country....

asawa.org is now theworldoffilipinas.com

I signed up for theworldoffilipinas.com a few days ago but haven't been granted access. It also seems like the forums there aren't all that active relative to the old asawa.org. I wonder what Bob Lingerfelt is up to these days.

[MGill 2]

300,000 Philippine Pesos equals 6,740 US Dollars.

That as a year wage will not fly when it comes to immigration.

Also that is a serious conviction you have!

[Unidentified 2,930]

Also, it's my understanding that she would need to stay married for two years in order to stay in the country, and three years in order to naturalize. Once she naturalizes, the I-864A would no longer be an issue. It seems to me that she has a reason to want to stay in our good graces in order to avoid divorce and naturalize, since at that point she could use her citizenship to begin helping family members enter the country, if she wanted. Plus of course there is love between us, although my mom says that my fiancée wouldn't be interested in me if it weren't for the green card. My reply to that was that the green card works in my favor (which is one of the reasons I chose to look for a Filipina rather than an American wife) but isn't necessarily the only reason she wants me.

Isn't love supposed to be based on trust? You say you love her but you don't seem to trust her. You probably think I am rude but I have to ask: why do you marry someone you don't trust? It is like you are expecting this to fail, that she is a fraud? Correcting me if I'm wrong but reading your whole post it seems very cold, like you are marrying her to bring money to your family :/

And OMG I just googled your felony. Did you threaten the President? Are you crazy???

Edited December 9, 2014 by Maria&Seve

[lysander 14]

300,000 Philippine Pesos equals 6,740 US Dollars.

That as a year wage will not fly when it comes to immigration.

Also that is a serious conviction you have!

Please explain what you mean by 300,000 PP not flying when it comes to immigration? Do you mean that because of that, we can't rely on her income for the I-864 requirements, or is there some other problem her low income creates?

Yes, it's a serious conviction. It was one of the reasons I was so eager to marry her when, on the first day of the relationship, I told her about it, and about it how it restricted my career possibilities, and she said it wasn't a big deal and that we could move on with our lives having learnt a lesson from it. Maybe she too felt like she'd finally found what she was looking for, because I was commitment-minded, seemed nice enough, was interested in more than asking her to take naughty pics of herself or have sex by Internet chat (as a lot of guys on these sites do), etc.

However, almost everyone has been questioning whether we could really be in love, or know whether our relationship is viable. It's making me ask a lot of questions about what really goes into compatibility for a happy marriage. I wish I could just know whether it's going to work and whether we'll be happy together, and act accordingly. But apparently half the people who go into marriage thinking it'll work turn out to be wrong.

[Cathi 5,783]

300,000 pesos is diddly squat in US currency, just sayin'. Did you not google money exchange rates? I agree with your dad, sounds like a farce. Even if you want to be a "house husband", that doesn't mean she will be able to find a job right away, most new immigrants don;t find one for at least several months. I don't blame you parents for no wanting to be joint sponsors.

[lysander 14]

Isn't love supposed to be based on trust? You say you love her but you don't seem to trust her. You probably think I am rude but I have to ask: why do you marry someone you don't trust? It is like you are expecting this to fail, that she is a fraud? Correcting me if I'm wrong but reading your whole post it seems very cold, like you are marrying her to bring money to your family :/

And OMG I just googled your felony. Did you threaten the President? Are you crazy???

Is love based on trust, or is trust based on love? Maybe both. I can see why you would say that the post sounds cold. That's often the way I talk about the people I'm with.

My last partner came into the relationship saying she was going to co-found a business with me, and then flaked out. She eventually concluded that I married her under the assumption that she was going to work on that business with me. When she left, I felt more peeved than sad, but a few days later the magnitude of what I felt I'd lost hit me, and I was devastated for months. People concluded that I really did love her after all. I'll always believe that I did, because I really did work hard on learning about relationships, and trying to understand the disorders my partner suffered from, and figure out what compromises and changes I could make to be able to get along with her. Strange that I temporarily lost sight of that fondness and admiration somehow, but perhaps too I was experiencing the usual post-breakup idealization of the one who left.

So apparently it's possible to both have a temporary love that doesn't last, and a temporary losing sight of love that doesn't last. (I don't bother to use terms such as "infatuation" because the distinction seems arbitrary. Where do we draw the line between an infatuation and a genuine love that didn't happen to last forever?)

Yes, the general consensus is that my having threatened the President means that I'm crazy, although there are a few people who give me a chance anyway. Seeing as what's done is done, and can't be undone, I have to try to make the best of what remains of my life, as well as I can. I disclose the conviction on the first day or two of dating any new partners because I don't want to waste their time if it's a dealbreaker for them.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

What else can you offer to potential partner (since you do not work and have no income, still living with parents), other than green card opportunity?

[Darnell 8,479]

[to the op]

I suggest this, before you spend much more time on your path -

Sit with an immigration attorney soon, go over the federal conviction that you have, try to understand if you are:

1. eligible to file an I-129F and

2. going to be approved on the I-129F

3. going to meet the financial requirements on an I-134 without a co-sponsor

4. eligible for entry into the PI past the PI immigration control point at the airport.

I'm not punching at ya - but (IMO) it's best to understand this stuff, based on your exact situation, before even attempting a plane ride to the PI.

[lysander 14]

300,000 pesos is diddly squat in US currency, just sayin'. Did you not google money exchange rates? I agree with your dad, sounds like a farce. Even if you want to be a "house husband", that doesn't mean she will be able to find a job right away, most new immigrants don;t find one for at least several months. I don't blame you parents for no wanting to be joint sponsors.

300,000 is probably pretty close to median salary in the Philippines, though, right? So maybe she could make a median U.S. salary as well. I wonder what would make it hard for her to find a job within several months.

[Unidentified 2,930]

300,000 is probably pretty close to median salary in the Philippines, though, right? So maybe she could make a median U.S. salary as well. I wonder what would make it hard for her to find a job within several months.

What makes you think that just because she earns a median salary in the Phillipines she will in the US?

[TBoneTX 45,990]

An unnecessary post has been removed. Please post constructively, or don't post.

[kitthekat 1,317]

I wonder what would make it hard for her to find a job within several months.

1. whatever time it takes to save the $1070 needed to file adjustment of status and an employment authorization document (EAD) - sounds like you guys are/will be facing some financial issues so factor in this time.

2. waiting for the EAD (which is necessary to work legally) to be approved (takes approximately 90 days from date of filing)

3. getting a job, going through the interview process, waiting for background checks, if any, to clear, etc...

hope you also know that for K1s, the US embassy does not have to accept co-sponsors. this is particularly true for the Philippines.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Also, it's my understanding that she would need to stay married for two years in order to stay in the country, and three years in order to naturalize. Once she naturalizes, the I-864A would no longer be an issue. It seems to me that she has a reason to want to stay in our good graces in order to avoid divorce and naturalize, since at that point she could use her citizenship to begin helping family members enter the country, if she wanted. Plus of course there is love between us, although my mom says that my fiancée wouldn't be interested in me if it weren't for the green card. My reply to that was that the green card works in my favor (which is one of the reasons I chose to look for a Filipina rather than an American wife) but isn't necessarily the only reason she wants me.

It seems like the situation might be unusual in that traditionally the American man will be the breadwinner and the Filipina the housewife. But she says she wanted a younger man (I'm 34) than a lot of the American guys who were interested in her. Plus she likes the work world, so doesn't mind being a breadwinner, even though she'd also like to have kids and give them some attention when she's not working.

.

I'm curious as to how the green card works in YOUR favor....this whole sentence doesn't sit right with me.

Is that because you've found a breadwinner to support you?

Edited December 9, 2014 by LionessDeon

[lysander 14]

1. whatever time it takes to save the $1070 needed to file adjustment of status and an employment authorization document (EAD) - sounds like you guys are/will be facing some financial issues so factor in this time.

2. waiting for the EAD (which is necessary to work legally) to be approved (takes approximately 90 days from date of filing)

3. getting a job, going through the interview process, waiting for background checks, if any, to clear, etc...

hope you also know that for K1s, the US embassy does not have to accept co-sponsors. this is particularly true for the Philippines.

Yeah, that's why we decided to go the CR-1 route.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Yeah, that's why we decided to go the CR-1 route.

Then we're back to Darnell's reply, basically: Have you checked if you are allowed past immigration in the Philippines?