Fraud? Wife cheated now wants divorce.

[Ugly_American 11]

My Filipino wife has been in US for 3.5 years. She came on a fiance visa, we married, hadand had a child. Last month she secretly opened a new acct on filipinocupid.com. I know this from her browsing history and my own sleuthing. She met a guy online, four days later he sent her a ticket to new orleans (we live in CA). 13 days later she left on a four day trip which spanned the Thanksgiving holidays. She left our son in my good care. At the time she said she was taking some time with a girlfriend to consider our future relationship. Upon her return she said she wanted a divorce. She also said that she wanted physical custody of our child and that she might soon need to quit her newly acquired $90k/yr. nursing job in order to advance her career. I asked where she might need to work and mississippi and new orleans made the list ( the guy she met there lives in MS). Of course she can't easily move out of state, but that she is thinking about it is disturbing. Also disturbing is that leaving here would pull him away from both my parents and their spouces, all of whom consider him their only grandchild. She really is thinking only of herself and not of our son's best interest.

My goal is to get a divorce, hopefully with physical custody, if not also supervised visitation based on a fear she might flee.

Should I also pursue fraud charges on the marriage? She has her green card and we've filed paperwork on the lifting of restrictions (i-751). Her next interview is Jan 9. I want as much leverage as possible for the custody battle.

I'm not so worried about the guy in Mississippi as theyve since stopped talking. But she's online internet dating and seems very interested in finding a new guy. She still has no idea that I know everything she's doing. She thinks she's being clever but every day I'm gathering new evidence to support my custody case. She has also recently been moving money into a sectret paypal account. I'll do anything to protect my son

And would have done anything to save our marriage, but she has no interest. I never cheated on her. Times have been financially tight, but compared to where she was before she came here she can have no complaints. And with me starting a new job, coupled with her new job (which took us both much work to acquire) we would have no more financial problems.

Please advise. And thank you in advance.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Sorry about all this. There is no Fraud here as far as USCIS is concerned. What you have is a unfortunate situation of a Divorce.

There is nothing to stop her from taking the child or you for that matter but, unfair to the child. If you can't split peacefully with joint custody please try hard for this. If your both childish.... Then be fast and get a Attorney before she does and plat stupid games. What you have is a Simple USA Divorce procedure.

Again, so sorry.

Edited December 8, 2014 by Tim/Mav

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

In California the court will order her NOT to move your child more than 50 miles away from you.

[Sirliner 26]

My advice would be for YOU to file the divorce petition. This would give you some measure of control in the upcoming custody fight. In California, you and your spouse will be required to attend mediation, hopefully to work out custody details fairly. If no custody agreement is reached, it will be left up to the judge to decide. Don't want that. Recommend you immediately draw up an MSA(Marriage Settlement Agreement) giving you primary custody of your child with fair visitation rights for your spouse. Present it in mediation and try to get the mediator on your side, so that your spouse will agree to it. Worked for me in my divorce.

[Darnell 8,478]

I'll say this - the info you're gathering could be used in a fraud case with USCIS - but you must collect all and show it to a FDNS officer at the local USCIS office. Get in via infopass ( https://infopass.uscis.gov) , ask for the FDNS officer, and be prepared with a file full of stuff, a written narrative as well, referencing the evidence that you have (ie - moving money to secret account, see attachment 19) ..

It's up to you whether you want to pursue that angle, or no.

[icv21 110]

She is totally doing things the sneaky way and she clearly has a plan! Keep saving all this information its going to be useful at some point. It's a divorce yes but secretly transferring money online...looking for a new guy while still married. Not ok.

Sorry this is happening to you and consult an attorney and I would suggest to start moving things as soon as possible specially because the kid you two have in common.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

My Filipino wife has been in US for 3.5 years. She came on a fiance visa, we married, hadand had a child. Last month she secretly opened a new acct on filipinocupid.com. I know this from her browsing history and my own sleuthing. She met a guy online, four days later he sent her a ticket to new orleans (we live in CA). 13 days later she left on a four day trip which spanned the Thanksgiving holidays. She left our son in my good care. At the time she said she was taking some time with a girlfriend to consider our future relationship. Upon her return she said she wanted a divorce. She also said that she wanted physical custody of our child and that she might soon need to quit her newly acquired $90k/yr. nursing job in order to advance her career. I asked where she might need to work and mississippi and new orleans made the list ( the guy she met there lives in MS). Of course she can't easily move out of state, but that she is thinking about it is disturbing. Also disturbing is that leaving here would pull him away from both my parents and their spouces, all of whom consider him their only grandchild. She really is thinking only of herself and not of our son's best interest.

My goal is to get a divorce, hopefully with physical custody, if not also supervised visitation based on a fear she might flee.

Should I also pursue fraud charges on the marriage? She has her green card and we've filed paperwork on the lifting of restrictions (i-751). Her next interview is Jan 9. I want as much leverage as possible for the custody battle.

I'm not so worried about the guy in Mississippi as theyve since stopped talking. But she's online internet dating and seems very interested in finding a new guy. She still has no idea that I know everything she's doing. She thinks she's being clever but every day I'm gathering new evidence to support my custody case. She has also recently been moving money into a sectret paypal account. I'll do anything to protect my son

And would have done anything to save our marriage, but she has no interest. I never cheated on her. Times have been financially tight, but compared to where she was before she came here she can have no complaints. And with me starting a new job, coupled with her new job (which took us both much work to acquire) we would have no more financial problems.

Please advise. And thank you in advance.

Not sure that someone would wait that long if it was fraud, but the proximity of the ROC might have to do with it.

In any case, you need to decide for yourself what you want to do it anything.

You could file for divorce and provide that info forwarded towards the 751 case.

It is her petition. With all the evidence you might be able to prove it; but an alternate direction is to bring it up front with her while still filing for divirce. File first, that gets you a level of control over the situation. And then make the fight for your child.

A separation agreement is not a bad idea having it ready the minute to confront her; otherwise you are also liable for any debts she might get.

Good luck in all

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. It seems unlikely that USCIS would act on fraud in this particular case but Darnell has told you how to do it if you choose to pursue that. Good luck with the custody battle.

[Elleanor 10]

Better gather a lot of proofs tho that she's been doing that like the bording passes or tickets.. that'll be useful.

goodluck on your custody battle .. I'm sorry

[rlogan 2,036]

My Filipino wife has been in US for 3.5 years. She came on a fiance visa, we married, hadand had a child. Last month she secretly opened a new acct on filipinocupid.com.

There is nothing pertaining to immigration law here. Long past.

This is garden variety marriage break-up/infidelity. There are quite a few discussion sites on marriage and the most popular pages have to do with cheating and divorce. They have more specialized knowledge on the intricacies of child custody battles. That seems to be your major concern.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

In California the court will order her NOT to move your child more than 50 miles away from you.

And the sooner you file for divorce the sooner that this is immediately enforceable. Even if you don't have primary custody, it will be really challenging for her to move away without handing you the primary custody and her getting visitation.

Legally, she can't take the child now, but having a court order in place will help you get police assistance should she try it.

[GaRaS 10]

If i were u go to ur local immigration office and do a infopass on the website and cancel the AOS. Don't feel sorry for her or any regret. On the end you still lose no matter what. if the AOS has been cancelled she will return to the Philippines as far as i know.

My Filipino wife has been in US for 3.5 years. She came on a fiance visa, we married, hadand had a child. Last month she secretly opened a new acct on filipinocupid.com. I know this from her browsing history and my own sleuthing. She met a guy online, four days later he sent her a ticket to new orleans (we live in CA). 13 days later she left on a four day trip which spanned the Thanksgiving holidays. She left our son in my good care. At the time she said she was taking some time with a girlfriend to consider our future relationship. Upon her return she said she wanted a divorce. She also said that she wanted physical custody of our child and that she might soon need to quit her newly acquired $90k/yr. nursing job in order to advance her career. I asked where she might need to work and mississippi and new orleans made the list ( the guy she met there lives in MS). Of course she can't easily move out of state, but that she is thinking about it is disturbing. Also disturbing is that leaving here would pull him away from both my parents and their spouces, all of whom consider him their only grandchild. She really is thinking only of herself and not of our son's best interest.

My goal is to get a divorce, hopefully with physical custody, if not also supervised visitation based on a fear she might flee.

Should I also pursue fraud charges on the marriage? She has her green card and we've filed paperwork on the lifting of restrictions (i-751). Her next interview is Jan 9. I want as much leverage as possible for the custody battle.

I'm not so worried about the guy in Mississippi as theyve since stopped talking. But she's online internet dating and seems very interested in finding a new guy. She still has no idea that I know everything she's doing. She thinks she's being clever but every day I'm gathering new evidence to support my custody case. She has also recently been moving money into a sectret paypal account. I'll do anything to protect my son
And would have done anything to save our marriage, but she has no interest. I never cheated on her. Times have been financially tight, but compared to where she was before she came here she can have no complaints. And with me starting a new job, coupled with her new job (which took us both much work to acquire) we would have no more financial problems.

Please advise. And thank you in advance.

Edited December 8, 2014 by GaRaS

[sachin1 42]

You have something on your side. Her desire to leave you. You can keep pressing that in your upcoming process and say I want X & Y if I get that I will give you divorce right now.

if you don't we will go on long road where Lawyer will make more $ then we both can... Hopefully it works out in your side.

[Ryan H 3,812]

~~~Closed for review.~~~

***Thread back open, posts that did not answer the OP's questions and were derailing in nature have been removed along with posts that quoted, responded to, or referenced that content. Either post constructively when answering the OP's questions or do not post. Thread bans will follow for any more non constructive posts.***

Edited December 9, 2014 by Ryan H

[daviddelen 34]

The most important thing besides gathering evidence of your wife's duplicity is finding the right lawyer. If you habitually visit this site you will see how much damage an incompetent attorney can do.