Very weird VAWA situation

[lightbright 0]

Hi folks.

So I have a serious conundrum that I'm looking for general advice on. It's messy, so please bear with me.

I'm a gay man who married his husband after a generally short courtship. I had some red flags before the marriage, but I went through it anyway with the best of intentions. We were together for about six months total (three months before married and three months afterward). Our breakup was absolutely spectacular, and it ended with me being assaulted. It was not a serious assault, but the police did make a report and nobody was charged.

My husband left. Over the next month, I tried to reconcile, and thought he was doing this too, but really he was conniving to build a case against me. When I saw the police report on our incident, he totally lied in the police interview. Upon getting a copy of the report, the officers at the police station expressed frustration with him because he keeps calling them wanting to press charges against ME for the incident. They keep telling him it's not going to happen, but he "doesn't seem to get that."

He's also fabricated stories and wants to present them with medical records (a month after the fact) that show I hit him, even though the police report that was filed on our incident says that he admitted hitting me and that I did not hit him.

During our "reconciliation," he was asking me to provide him with documents that would establish that we entered into a "good faith" marriage. After discovering that he was doing creepy things, and finding out about all the lies he's told me, I refused to do anything for him. He's in another state and has been very sweet when he wants something, but after all these lies, I cannot trust him anymore. He has serious untreated psychiatric illness that I did not know about before we married (he had some symptoms of depression beforehand, but nothing like this), and I truly believe he married me for a green card.

He is also an F-1 student who is now out of status and is DESPERATE to stay in the US. His university told him that he needs to go back to his home country to get a new visa, but he told me he needs bunch of documentation to substantiate why he went out of status.

I've realized that he is a psychotic compulsive liar (he assaulted ME, not the other way around) who I believe will do anything to stay in the US. I think he's going to try to get a green card under VAWA, hence why he's trying to get the police to press charges against me.

Since I cannot respond to a VAWA petition, I have no way to fight this, do I?

Also:

1. If he files, can he go back to school right away?

2. What are his chances of getting approved under VAWA? From what I've read, the burden of proof is low, and that's what I'm worried about.

3. Since we were married for only 3 months, and he's been in the US for years before, are they going to care about him being out of status?

I just want to get my life back. If I could rewind to the beginning, I would have never married him. I also don't want him getting any benefits from our sham of a marriage.

Please advise. Thank you.

[shippingforecast 126]

Hi folks.

So I have a serious conundrum that I'm looking for general advice on. It's messy, so please bear with me.

I'm a gay man who married his husband after a generally short courtship. I had some red flags before the marriage, but I went through it anyway with the best of intentions. We were together for about six months total (three months before married and three months afterward). Our breakup was absolutely spectacular, and it ended with me being assaulted. It was not a serious assault, but the police did make a report and nobody was charged.

My husband left. Over the next month, I tried to reconcile, and thought he was doing this too, but really he was conniving to build a case against me. When I saw the police report on our incident, he totally lied in the police interview. Upon getting a copy of the report, the officers at the police station expressed frustration with him because he keeps calling them wanting to press charges against ME for the incident. They keep telling him it's not going to happen, but he "doesn't seem to get that."

He's also fabricated stories and wants to present them with medical records (a month after the fact) that show I hit him, even though the police report that was filed on our incident says that he admitted hitting me and that I did not hit him.

During our "reconciliation," he was asking me to provide him with documents that would establish that we entered into a "good faith" marriage. After discovering that he was doing creepy things, and finding out about all the lies he's told me, I refused to do anything for him. He's in another state and has been very sweet when he wants something, but after all these lies, I cannot trust him anymore. He has serious untreated psychiatric illness that I did not know about before we married (he had some symptoms of depression beforehand, but nothing like this), and I truly believe he married me for a green card.

He is also an F-1 student who is now out of status and is DESPERATE to stay in the US. His university told him that he needs to go back to his home country to get a new visa, but he told me he needs bunch of documentation to substantiate why he went out of status.

I've realized that he is a psychotic compulsive liar (he assaulted ME, not the other way around) who I believe will do anything to stay in the US. I think he's going to try to get a green card under VAWA, hence why he's trying to get the police to press charges against me.

Since I cannot respond to a VAWA petition, I have no way to fight this, do I?

Also:

1. If he files, can he go back to school right away?

2. What are his chances of getting approved under VAWA? From what I've read, the burden of proof is low, and that's what I'm worried about.

3. Since we were married for only 3 months, and he's been in the US for years before, are they going to care about him being out of status?

I just want to get my life back. If I could rewind to the beginning, I would have never married him. I also don't want him getting any benefits from our sham of a marriage.

Please advise. Thank you.

I'm sorry to read about your situation. I can't answer all of your questions unfortunately, but hopefully some more experienced members will chime in. My only advice is to contact ICE (if you haven't already) as he is overstaying his student visa. Here's a link to their website with contact information;

http://www.ice.gov

I wish you the very best of luck.

[lightbright 0]

Thanks. I appreciate your kindness. I hope I can get some answers, too.

[TBoneTX 45,329]

ICE probably can't or won't help. Instead, set an InfoPass appointment and speak with the FDNS officer. Bring copies of your existing immigration paperwork as background, along with all possible objective information that indicates fraud.

Aside from this, speak with an attorney about how to protect yourself legally and personally.

[lightbright 0]

There is no existing immigration paperwork. We were only married for three months - we didn't have time to file it all before this happened.

[ppihtr123 68]

There is no existing immigration paperwork. We were only married for three months - we didn't have time to file it all before this happened.

Divorce and move on. Seek divorce lawyer to protect yourself as it may get ugly. As YOU have not filed any immigration paperwork (no case to refer them to), there is no need for you to do anything with them.

Edited December 7, 2014 by ppihtr123

[Boiler 45,558]

I agree ICE are very unlikely to be interested. Only becomes an issue if he goes down the VAWA route.

[lightbright 0]

The thing is, I think he's very likely to go down the VAWA road. He's been repeatedly calling our local police department and trying to get them to file charges against me. (Which they have adamantly said they will NOT do.) He is an abusive compulsive liar, and I do not believe at all that he entered into this marriage in good faith. I want to ensure that he has no good way to stay here, especially from anything to do with me.

I know that sounds awful, but I wish I could just turn the clock back and not do any of this.

[Boiler 45,558]

Sounds like you need a divorce lawyer.

[lightbright 0]

Without a doubt this is true, but I live in a northern state where same sex marriage is not recognized. So I cannot get a divorce as of right now. I'm needing to try to stop him from filing a false case if possible.

[Boiler 45,558]

Not possible.

Not in your control.

[lightbright 0]

Well, then, what is the burden of proof? If he has no evidence other than his word and no documents, what are his chances? Also considering he's not new to the US just from our marriage ...

Edited December 8, 2014 by lightbright

[melanieuk 19]

Well, then, what is the burden of proof? If he has no evidence other than his word and no documents, what are his chances? Also considering he's not new to the US just from our marriage ...

There is nothing you can do other than to avoid contact with the person in question. We are only hearing one side of the story here... why are you so interested on his immigration status? Just file for divorce and move on with your life.

[Ortolan 381]

See a lawyer about dissolving whatever legal marriage contract you have entered into with this man. Then stay away from him, no contact, nothing.

The burden is on him to prove VAWA and to stay in the U.S.; the police will not help him file a false claim. Move on with your healing and your life.

[MacUK 983]

The best advice is to just end the marriage and move on.

You haven't filed any affidavit of support so you're not obligated to him in that way and it doesn't affect you in any way if he files VAWA, just move on with your own life and forget everything about him other than the life lessons you've learned.

He might get his greencard, he might not. But he's not your problem any more.