'Touches' not working ????

[Samra 0]

ah well, can't please everyone. was fun anyway

[rebeccajo 14]

I know, rebeccajo, and really I don't fault anyone for that. It just bothers me when people (not you, BTW) seem to set out to make other feel small on this forum. We are supposed to be supporting each other. Sorry, but I can't help it, it's in my blood (I'm a therapist ).

It didn't bother me if you were referring to me. I'm human and I've had my 'moments' in this community.

It's one thing to support each other. I really believe it's another to create CSC co-dependancy. Which is a lot of what I see around here lately.

It is truly ASTONISHING to see green card approvals lately. Some in 30 days. It has GOT to be hurtful for people to watch this. IMO it's just as unkind of those who are granted such a privilege to create an atmosphere in this forum of some sort of - I don't know - I can't find the right words. I've seen all sorts of suggestions - our relationship is perfect, our packet was perfect, we desereved it because of IMBRA - blah blah blah. In truth it's just having been in the right place at the right time with immigration.

If you are a therapist, I'm sure you understand the concept of screaming outloud when something is beyond your control? Of that being somewhat 'thereaupeautic'? There are a lot of people who could use that these days when it comes to AOS.

[sarahsmiles 0]

If you are a therapist, I'm sure you understand the concept of screaming outloud when something is beyond your control? Of that being somewhat 'thereaupeautic'? There are a lot of people who could use that these days when it comes to AOS.

Well yeah, rebeccajo, that's kind of my whole point. People complaining here doesn't bother me, even when they have applied relatively early. BUT....the question I guess I was posing is, is it really necessary to be purposely unkind to other to make one's self feel better?

I certainly agree that people who insinuate that they were approved quickly because their relationship, documentation, etc. are perfect is galling. But I didn't see anyone do that in this thread. And I don't think that VJers asking, "Is this normal?" or "I'm worried about this" is cause for a beat-down. I know everyone is human. I guess we all just need to cut each other a little slack (me included).

[rebeccajo 14]

I certainly agree that people who insinuate that they were approved quickly because their relationship, documentation, etc. are perfect is galling. But I didn't see anyone do that in this thread. And I don't think that VJers asking, "Is this normal?" or "I'm worried about this" is cause for a beat-down. I know everyone is human. I guess we all just need to cut each other a little slack (me included).

There's truth there.

But...I don't feel anybody was given a 'beat down'.

Maybe they were told 'OMG what the heck are you worrying about'?

That's how I see it. But then I'm not one to be molly-coddled.

[sarahsmiles 0]

If all that had been said was "OMG what the heck are you worried about," then I wouldn't be participating in this conversation. And I don't think that lending a little support is molly-coddling. That's the way I see it.

[Samra 0]

If all that had been said was "OMG what the heck are you worried about," then I wouldn't be participating in this conversation. And I don't think that lending a little support is molly-coddling. That's the way I see it.

what IS it exactly that I said that was so offensive? there were 3 posts by ajmc stating she wanted some kind of action in her case.... um again. just filed 2 months ago, relax! I was making a correlation that people assume to have nothing happen = stalled case. why do people think that? you even said yourself you wanted to be sure your case wasn't rotting somewhere!

peeps need to chill.

[sarahsmiles 0]

why do people think that?

I guess they think it for the same reason that seems to be upsetting everyone...because a lot of cases DO seem to be getting approved in 30 days, as rebeccajo said.

[Samra 0]

why do people think that?

I guess they think it for the same reason that seems to be upsetting everyone...because a lot of cases DO seem to be getting approved in 30 days, as rebeccajo said.

nah im not upset.

[KarenCee 3]

If all that had been said was "OMG what the heck are you worried about," then I wouldn't be participating in this conversation. And I don't think that lending a little support is molly-coddling. That's the way I see it.

what IS it exactly that I said that was so offensive? there were 3 posts by ajmc stating she wanted some kind of action in her case.... um again. just filed 2 months ago, relax! I was making a correlation that people assume to have nothing happen = stalled case. why do people think that? you even said yourself you wanted to be sure your case wasn't rotting somewhere!

peeps need to chill.

I've sat here and watched case after case get approved LONG after we sent in our applications. We meticulously went over everything we sent in to make sure it was "perfect" as some indicated they had done, which they seem to think is what caused them to be approved so quickly. I've also sat here and watched some cases go on and on and on and on....like RJ's and hockeybrain's. They've sat here for well over a year, onwards to two and in some cases a hell of a lot longer with NO approval in sight.

That's why some of us think that. That's why some of us blow off steam which to some appears as sarcasm and insults. *SIGH*

[onesassygirl 0]

If all that had been said was "OMG what the heck are you worried about," then I wouldn't be participating in this conversation. And I don't think that lending a little support is molly-coddling. That's the way I see it.

what IS it exactly that I said that was so offensive? there were 3 posts by ajmc stating she wanted some kind of action in her case.... um again. just filed 2 months ago, relax! I was making a correlation that people assume to have nothing happen = stalled case. why do people think that? you even said yourself you wanted to be sure your case wasn't rotting somewhere!

peeps need to chill.

It wasn't offensive. It was more... belittling. And I think that is disrespectful behavior. When you come to a place like VJ, you don't expect to get disrespected.

But I now understand where your cynicism and bitterness come from. And I have empathy for you and everyone else in your boat. There is no need to belittle others... it only creates a hostile and negative atmosphere.

Edited February 3, 2007 by ajmc

[Samra 0]

karen - you probably should have bolded a few words prior to that. not that this discussion needs to keep going and going, but seriously, 2 months is not an inordiante amount of time in which to wait for some action be it biometrics, transfer, or interview letter, is it?

this whole thing started i guess because i wanted to know what ajmc wanted after only two months, same as sarahsmiles. i merely was posing a suggestion to relax, and guess what? same day after 3 posts from ajmc's worry she gets her interview letter!

[rebeccajo 14]

Simply put - there are some VERY unrealistically high expectations in AOS these days.

When we filed (11/05) we fully expected to not be interviewed until mid-summer 2006. And that was if things went smoothly.

Now there have been some changes. Everybody wants a piece of it. IMO it's most unsettling.

Look at it this way. What do you think when you see a Vermont poster rattling on in K1 about not being approved after 14 days?

[sarahsmiles 0]

this whole thing started i guess because i wanted to know what ajmc wanted after only two months, same as sarahsmiles.

Actually, I thought I made it pretty clear when i said, "It's not like I want us to be approved tomorrow."

And what rebeccajo says is true : "Everyone wants a piece of it." Isn't it natural to feel that way when people ARE getting approved so quickly?

[onesassygirl 0]

Simply put - there are some VERY unrealistically high expectations in AOS these days.

When we filed (11/05) we fully expected to not be interviewed until mid-summer 2006. And that was if things went smoothly.

Now there have been some changes. Everybody wants a piece of it. IMO it's most unsettling.

Look at it this way. What do you think when you see a Vermont poster rattling on in K1 about not being approved after 14 days?

That they need to stay patient because the average time it takes to get an approval at VSC actually takes a month and a half, not two weeks?

My expectations were not unrealistic, not to me at least (if you read my post a few posts back). I think it's just that some people are more optimistic about this process than others.

[rebeccajo 14]

this whole thing started i guess because i wanted to know what ajmc wanted after only two months, same as sarahsmiles.

Actually, I thought I made it pretty clear when i said, "It's not like I want us to be approved tomorrow."

And what rebeccajo says is true : "Everyone wants a piece of it." Isn't it natural to feel that way when people ARE getting approved so quickly?

No, I don't think it should be natural. It's something new and could be done away with at any moment.

It might be natural to be envious and to want it. It's not natural to expect it.