need your advice regarding mom's petition

[proudate 0]

lately, i have been having second thoughts on petitioning my mom. my mom had me when she was just 15 yrs old. we were never closed but i still respect and loved her. ever since i got here in the US, all she does is ask money every 2 wks or worse every 1 week. i also have 2 half siblings with her. i explained to her that life here is not easy. i have mortgage, car payment, utilities, house expenses etc.. but she obliged me to send money to help for my half sibling's school tuition fees.. I love my siblings since i took care of them since they were babies and i never hold grudges against them though my mom's treatment to them is way better than me.. she is also on anti depressants and is hypochondriac. every month or so suffers from any medical condition and goes to ER which of course i end up paying. me and my bf are living together and is planning for our future. i told him about my situation and doesn't agree on it. my mom never worked her entire life. if she lives here in the US i will support her as well as my siblings.. which i will be financially burdened with.. add to the fact that I'm starting to plan for my own family.

shall i just petition my siblings, i know wait time is 25 yrs..

[chillin4me 15]

lately, i have been having second thoughts on petitioning my mom. my mom had me when she was just 15 yrs old. we were never closed but i still respect and loved her. ever since i got here in the US, all she does is ask money every 2 wks or worse every 1 week. i also have 2 half siblings with her. i explained to her that life here is not easy. i have mortgage, car payment, utilities, house expenses etc.. but she obliged me to send money to help for my half sibling's school tuition fees.. I love my siblings since i took care of them since they were babies and i never hold grudges against them though my mom's treatment to them is way better than me.. she is also on anti depressants and is hypochondriac. every month or so suffers from any medical condition and goes to ER which of course i end up paying. me and my bf are living together and is planning for our future. i told him about my situation and doesn't agree on it. my mom never worked her entire life. if she lives here in the US i will support her as well as my siblings.. which i will be financially burdened with.. add to the fact that I'm starting to plan for my own family.

shall i just petition my siblings, i know wait time is 25 yrs..

she will always be a part of your life, maybe to not petition them is a good idea, just send them money, same amount everytime. tell them firmly this is the only money you can give every 2 weeks and that's it. You have your own life, it's ok to support them but your mom is abusing you already. If you petition your mom, your life here will be miserable. and it will always be an issue with you and your future husband. But it's all up to you. Pray, coz it's hard to make decisions involving your family.

[proudate 0]

That's what most of my relative suggested too.. at first, i want to petition her so that she will be the one to petition my half siblings which would take at least 10 yrs. If i petition them it would take 25 yrs..

[clairegie 265]

Instead of sending her money all the time, just send her a good amount and tell her to start a business. Let her raise HER kids like a parent should.

This is the sort of thing I discussed with my mother. I told her I love her and I will HELP her but I will not be forced to take over taking care of my brother because that is HER job as the parent. My mom has a steady income now and when she needs a little extra, I send her money. For check ups or stuff my brother needs for school. You are an adult now and you have to focus on building your own life and she needs to understand that. I don't know how long petitioning siblings will take. Discuss it with them and find out if they see themselves living here. If they want that, then go ahead and petition them. About your Mom, we know how expensive health care is here. I hope you are ready to take that on.

[minions2 24]

I can relate

Edited December 2, 2014 by minions2

[proudate 0]

We tried doing business as well but it all failed.. she thought im a money mill.. im pretty sure she is not going to work since she never work ger entire life.. she depend on my dad's monthly allowance.

I decided just to petition my siblings.. it will take a while but by the time they get here they're adult and probably will have their own family.. they would be independent unlike mom, she will be financially and emotionally burden to me and my own family