K1 Relationship Struggles

[Fabiola252 2]

Call immigration and call it a day,

[raven52 233]

Listen carefully to me.,.,.,I am married to a Filipino so I know them. It sounds like she is from around Manila, and not a "province" gal.,.I have read so many posts from men in the same "boat" you are in.,.,.""I think they have classes in Manila on how to deceive American men into getting them to the USA via K-1 visa.""""

IF YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER.,.,.,.,,.,please think again!

This will just get worse.,.,..,cut your loses, and move on! It was a mistake, ""YOU"" were used, my friend.,.,.,my wife read this, and she agrees, and she is from Cebu.,.,.and has heard of this stuff being planned by Filipinos even when she was taking her CFO training!

Filipino wives are the best in the world, """IF""" you get a good one.,...,.you, sir.,.,I am afraid got one of the ""planners!!!!"""

RUN, as fast as you can from her! She will have YOU in jail, get away from her, she is no doubt evil, and will hurt her self, and blame it one you, and YOU will go to jail for domestic abuse, and that is a "lifetime ban" as far as ever getting another gal from the Phils..,.,.,.,.,"""RUN< AS FAST AS U CAN!!!!"""

[av8or1 246]

You've heard this from other posters thus far, but absolutely, you MUST retain legal counsel and file for divorce immediately. You cannot be alone with her at all, ever again. You haven't filed the AOS, and shouldn't. Live separately, whatever that means that you must do, DO IT. If she tries to go the VAWA route, then deal with that then. Collect whatever evidence you already have at this point and submit it to your attorney. Follow their advice, which should absolutely be to divorce ASAP. There is no salvaging of this "marriage" or "relationship", as there was no relationship. I'll leave it at that, hopefully you'll follow the advice of everyone who has replied to you thus far. It's the only viable path for you to take at this point.

Finally, I'd like to ask that you take the time to re-read this advice. I say that because (and I cannot speak for the others who have posted, but...) I am speaking to you from experience. Yeah, that's right, EXPERIENCE. I have been there, done that. Unfortunately. And I can tell you without hesitation that the smartest thing I did was to file for divorce within a day. I'm in TEXAS and the person who files first has control over the hearing date. My former wife was from Ukraine; amongst the tactics used was/is to threaten to delay the hearing for as long as is absolutely possible so that they can collect the maximum amount of spousal support possible. Nasty, nasty, evil business that. Like you, I was devastated. Like you I married for love and I wanted to "save the marriage", but once she played the VAWA card, I knew that we had crossed the point of no return. I was demorailzed and not-right in the head for almost a year. I had nightmares every night for 8 months (yes 8 months, no exaggeration) and was barely able to function at work. I tell you all of that not to shock you or scare you but to acquaint you with the reality: this won't be easy, but it really is your only option.

Please do the right thing: retain legal counsel, file for divorce immediately and prepare to move on with your life. Take it from someone who has been there, you will find light on the other end. Just keep your head down and your feet moving...

Wish you all the best!

[Elleanor 10]

This is a very bad thing to read specially I am a filipina ,Because of this we are being judge sometimes.

Call the immigration or a lawyer..

I'm sorry this has happen to you ..

[bestofboston 36]

I,m very sorry to hear your misfortune with your wife. My wife has been the wife you dream for in every facet of marriage. Just don't judge all Philippines as being like the one you just married. In fact, most make excellent wives.

Doing what she has done so soon tells me that her motives were to get to the USA. Especially in that she moved out so quickly.

Good luck going forward. Don't let her manipulate you. I agree that you should not trust her. The marriage is over with if you can't trust her. Cut your losses now! Get out of it. Have your marriage annulled since you were just married.

[musique 16]

I am so sorry, Sir.. but please, get away and just forget about her.. I do not think that anybody should be married unless they love each other. It seems to me that it has become one sided and just using you for benefits....

[Bjorn&lyne 20]

Maybe contact USCIS as well and tell them she is trying to commit visa fraud. At least then you are not in trouble for not telling the government, should they find out you know about that, which you do officially having posted this online here.

[mymarley 14]

Listen carefully to me.,.,.,I am married to a Filipino so I know them. It sounds like she is from around Manila, and not a "province" gal.,.I have read so many posts from men in the same "boat" you are in.,.,.""I think they have classes in Manila on how to deceive American men into getting them to the USA via K-1 visa.""""

IF YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER.,.,.,.,,.,please think again!

This will just get worse.,.,..,cut your loses, and move on! It was a mistake, ""YOU"" were used, my friend.,.,.,my wife read this, and she agrees, and she is from Cebu.,.,.and has heard of this stuff being planned by Filipinos even when she was taking her CFO training!

Filipino wives are the best in the world, """IF""" you get a good one.,...,.you, sir.,.,I am afraid got one of the ""planners!!!!"""

RUN, as fast as you can from her! She will have YOU in jail, get away from her, she is no doubt evil, and will hurt her self, and blame it one you, and YOU will go to jail for domestic abuse, and that is a "lifetime ban" as far as ever getting another gal from the Phils..,.,.,.,.,"""RUN< AS FAST AS U CA

my husband exwife was from province Cagayan de oro she was bisaya tooo but he was been scammed to by this girl. .. and I grew up in manila...we don't have any class about that...duh

to david

you know what follow their advice... don't wait til the time shes already cheating on you before you decide to divorce her....the ex of my husband cheated after she got her citizenship...seeee that

remember not all Filipina were like that... just some really ambitious..

Edited December 1, 2014 by mymarley

[coniefl 28]

I would follow the advice that was given. You mention making the marriage work and counselling, I could understand wanting work on it and the need for counselling if you were having problems after years of marriage, but not in a marriage that is less than a month old. You just have to face the facts and come to terms that she used you or is trying to use you, follow the advice to stop it. Don't be naive and believe her when she changed it to it would "be nice' to do that, sounds like she was just back paddling because you confronted her on what she originally said. Also the laughing, and ultimatum with the AOS and 911, just shows her true intentions. You will probably try and convince or deny to yourself that she is not really like that, that she is what you believe she was before this happened...dont' fall for it, the mind can be very deceiving in times of desperation.

As for you Fillapinas, I can only speak for myself, but nothing that was said here led me to believe that all Fillapinas are like the one the OP speaks about, I think most of us are intelligent enough not to stereotype and see people as individuals.

Edited December 1, 2014 by coniefl

[_Paul&Jesica_ 70]

you are wrong raven52 My wife lives in Manila with her sister and her husband and their three daughters .My wife is the nicest person you will ever meet .the rest of the family is in Bohol.I do not know if you have a grudge against people from Philippines or just Manila. but you are wrong just as you was in your last reply to a post when you post no one can get divorce from the Philippines

It DOES matter where you get married!

If you get married in Philippines if something happens, YOU can NEVER be divorced, never ever, annulments are at 5% and very expensive!

DO NOT EVER MARRIED IN THE PHILIPPINES, YOU CAN NEVER GET A DIVORCE, if something goes wrong, AND ANNULMENTS ARE AT ABOUT 5%, AND 3-5 YEARS AND VERY COSTLY!!!!! I hope you read and absorb what I have said, been there done that!!!!!

Do your K-1 wherever, and bring her to the US..,..,.as my wife loves it here! She is from Cebu

They let you post your ####### but they do not let me post my advice to someone.my advice was only my personnel opinion but yet you are telling people wrong advice and putting down Filipinas by the way I guess you know it is Filipina not Filipino unless you are married to filippino guy

Actually, that isn't quite correct. Filipino citizens can never divorce, but in the case of a USC and a Filipino, even when married in the Philippines, the USC can file for divorce outside of the Philippines. The Filipino/Filipina can never divorce however and would have to go the annulment route.

From a quick google search:

A foreign divorce of two citizens of the Philippines will not normally be recognized by the Philippines, but a divorce issued by a foreign country (i.e. the U.S.) for a citizen of that country (i.e. you) may be recognized as a valid divorce by the Philippines pursuant to Philippine law (Article 26, paragraph (2), of the Family Code).

Read more: http://www.justanswer.com/law/0jj33-us-citizen-married-philippines.html#ixzz3KfF9glrb

[Ortolan 381]

Yep, get a divorce lawyer immediately and lay it out for him/her like you have for us. Make sure to never, ever be alone with her again. Have as little contact with her as you possibly can, even on the phone.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but better to find out now that in a year or so. Good luck.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

Two posts have been removed because of personal attacks, and a poster has been banned from further participation in this thread. A post that had quoted the removed material is returned to the thread here, in part:

As I posted upthread, here's how it works:

A divorce will be recognized in the Philippines, provided it is initiated abroad by a citizen of a country that is not the Philippines. So, for example, if a U.S. citizen marries a Philippines citizen in the Philippines, and the U.S. citizen later files for divorce in the U.S., the Philippines will recognize the divorce. The Philippines citizen, however, cannot initiate the divorce and have it recognized in the Philippines, although it will be recognized everywhere else. Of course, if the Philippines citizen naturalizes, the same rules apply, and they can file for divorce in the U.S. as a U.S. citizen, and it will be recognized in the Philippines.

[Ryan H 3,812]

**Post quoting removed content removed and returned below minus the quote.**

It does not matter at all where you get married to the USC, if they get a divorce in the USA they are divorced in the Philippines and the Philippine government recognizes the divorce. A divorce does not need to take place in the same country the marriage occurred in. As long as the foreign citizen files for the divorce, the Philippine citizen can get that divorce recognized in the Philippines also. You have a lack of understanding of marriage, divorce and the Philippine Family Code.

Raven52 isn't the only one I've seen that have a preference for provincial Filipinas over those from Manila, I've seen it expressed many times. Doesn't make it right, but its not an uncommon opinion.

~~Moderator hat off~~

OP, in addition to retaining legal counsel as others have advised. You also need to make an INFOPASS appointment at your nearest USCIS office to speak with the FDNS officer.

Edited December 1, 2014 by Ryan H

[verysadguy 170]

OP. Please send me a private message. You need assistance before you get taken to the cleaners. I've been down this road and know all the twists and turns. Now do it....contact me privately.

[alicia98981 128]

Document as much as you can, lawyer up, protect yourself from VAWA, and divorce her. Let immigrations deal with her in the harshest manner. My blood boils just reading this. . . .