K1 Relationship Struggles

[icv21 110]

Sorry.

I wouldn't file for AOS. Specially since you would have to sign for the affidavit of support you don't want to do this for this person, she is not trustworthy.

I think it's just so mean to play with someone's feelings, destroying someone's trust and perspective of love is so wrong for me..... I would contact an attorney, get divorce and make sure she doesn't try to file for VAWA.

She deserves to go back.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I can relate to what you are saying. To her credit she did later say that she did not say that, but that it would "be nice" to do that. However, that doesn't explain away her telling me that she has been recording

This is not legal for her to do if you did not consent. I think your first call tomorrow should be to a good lawyer.

[Jon and Krissy 452]

I can relate to what you are saying. To her credit she did later say that she did not say that, but that it would "be nice" to do that. However, that doesn't explain away her telling me that she has been recording me and doing research on what she needs to do. Nor the 911 call she made earlier when she threatened me. We were not in a heated argument nor anything when she did it. She was laughing at me and said "Let's see." Her options to me was to file the AOS or she will call the police.

I told her that I love her and that the only thing I've wanted was to make our relationship work, but now that I don't trust her because of what she has said and done. Instead of talking about things she packed her bags and left the apartment. I told her while she was packing that I'm not asking her to leave and that I will sleep in the other room and not antagonize her. She left her phone and I asked her to take it and that I'm not asking her to leave her phone. She left it.

Well, I'm not trying to air dirty laundry here. It's no secret we have had communication issues. I've stressed the importance of her telling me her feelings and not bottling them up. She says no to every attempt at counseling. I honestly don't know what to do or how to handle this. I recently came from a real bad relationship and I can tell you that these misunderstandings are so small and not warranting the reactions I am getting. I'm willing to work anything out. I just want to be happy and have a good marriage is all.

David,

This new information changes the picture greatly. RUN, don't walk. I'm sorry, but she's a snake - get her out of your life ASAP!

Jon

nemesis could be lurking around so fast that the so-called cleverness could not outwit... That's joint a point

I've read that four times and have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say.

[Boiler 45,921]

Good news is that she left by her own accord.

Sounds like she is cunning but not very bright.

Best bet would be an annulment but your first call tomorrow needs to be to your Divorce Lawyer.

Read up about VAWA she is no doubt trying to set you up.

[Darnell 8,479]

I can relate to what you are saying. To her credit she did later say that she did not say that, but that it would "be nice" to do that. However, that doesn't explain away her telling me that she has been recording me and doing research on what she needs to do. Nor the 911 call she made earlier when she threatened me. We were not in a heated argument nor anything when she did it. She was laughing at me and said "Let's see." Her options to me was to file the AOS or she will call the police.

I told her that I love her and that the only thing I've wanted was to make our relationship work, but now that I don't trust her because of what she has said and done. Instead of talking about things she packed her bags and left the apartment. I told her while she was packing that I'm not asking her to leave and that I will sleep in the other room and not antagonize her. She left her phone and I asked her to take it and that I'm not asking her to leave her phone. She left it.

Well, I'm not trying to air dirty laundry here. It's no secret we have had communication issues. I've stressed the importance of her telling me her feelings and not bottling them up. She says no to every attempt at counseling. I honestly don't know what to do or how to handle this. I recently came from a real bad relationship and I can tell you that these misunderstandings are so small and not warranting the reactions I am getting. I'm willing to work anything out. I just want to be happy and have a good marriage is all.

in Texas, this is labelled 'physical abandonment of marriage' and is great grounds/cause for divorce [in Texas]. Maybe Florida has something similar?

since it's an apartment - maybe you not have too much 'money' in that place - suggest you move out this upcoming week, break the lease, or [if possible] sublet all rooms to others and yourself move out. [then file for divorce]

Just because you file for divorce -doesn't mean it's instantly granted - you two still have some time to reconcile - but don't forget the VAWA angle on this - and since you've not filed AOS then yer not on the hook for the I-864.

Decisions, decisions. I think is something else wrong, a coupla levels down, that either yer not seeing or yer not telling us.

[zinger143 3]

You can’t file for abandonment until they’ve been gone for at least a year. Annulment can be done based on the fact you were married under false pretenses and she only used you for a visa. I got an annulment before under these circumstances. I looked into the abandonment but it was too hard to prove and took too long, but the annulment was very straight forward and it’s less expensive than a divorce. You need to do it immediately so you can prove your case and while your wife can fight it the sooner you start the better. Since you don’t know her address you just post it in the newspaper and it serves as her notice, it depends on the state but it has to be posted for 60-90 days, then you can move forward. That’s why you need to start this process now. While you’re hurt and wish you could make the relationship work, she obviously isn’t interested in working things out and being with you because otherwise she would have tried to make the marriage work and bring her family up at the same time. You deserve better, and you need to document everything that is going on right now so she can’t say another story later, it seems that she’s done her homework on how to turn the tables and make it seem like your fault. Since she is threatening to call the cops if you don’t file her AOS you need to be careful she doesn’t get something on your record just so she can file her AOS with the VAWA. This has to be about you protecting your future now. Contact a lawyer, ask about their retainer fees upfront and what their standard protocol would be for this situation. Get details upfront about what is and is not included in their fees and what the process would be so you know what you’re getting yourself into. If she wants to fight, she’ll need a lawyer, if she doesn’t have the money she won’t be able to do that. Don’t file the AOS and commit to supporting her because then you’ll be stuck supporting her even if you aren’t together and she’ll be able to bring her family up on your dime.

[cc_cookie 2]

OMG! what a shame! sorry to that!

[msbau764 245]

I never thought I would be typing this message, but here I am. I married my wife on 11/7 on a K1 visa. Today she revealed to me that the only reason she wants to be with me was to get a visa to bring her family here. We haven't filed AOS yet. What should I do?

How long did you date this person (or see this person) before filing the K-1? To me that would be relevant information. Help others avoid being scammed.

[curiousgeorgina 52]

I never thought I would be typing this message, but here I am. I married my wife on 11/7 on a K1 visa. Today she revealed to me that the only reason she wants to be with me was to get a visa to bring her family here. We haven't filed AOS yet. What should I do?

wow, so sorry to hear this.

send her home. don't listen to her sad stories.. there's no justification into fooling someone like this. it's women like that that some of us Filipinas get judged right away by other people when we are really just committed into the relationship.

very very sorry to hear this.

Edited December 1, 2014 by curiousgeorgina

[NikLR 13,231]

Run away. People do not jokingly call 911. It's illegal to do so and you face a fine and possibly jail time. Telling you to AOS her or face a false VAWA claim is no joking matter, and is blackmail.

I agree with Darnell that you need to leave that home or lease it out. File for divorce. Contact ICE. Protect yourself.

[belinda63 3,041]

Sounds like she is setting you up for a VAWA. If she is still gone I suggest you file for divorce. If her name is not on the lease have the locks changed or change them yourself. Never, ever be alone with her, don't speak to her, don't let yourself be put in any situation where she can claim abuse.

[TBoneTX 45,871]

A post has been removed for inappropriate lecturing of the OP.

VJ Moderation

[j&ana 363]

I never thought I would be typing this message, but here I am. I married my wife on 11/7 on a K1 visa. Today she revealed to me that the only reason she wants to be with me was to get a visa to bring her family here. We haven't filed AOS yet. What should I do?

Divorce her what other advise do you need?

[j&ana 363]

I never thought I would be typing this message, but here I am. I married my wife on 11/7 on a K1 visa. Today she revealed to me that the only reason she wants to be with me was to get a visa to bring her family here. We haven't filed AOS yet. What should I do?

you can not file AOS if you are divorce so divorce her.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

Divorce her, move to another apartment without her knowing where you moved to and let her figure out her "AOS" (VAWA) on her own. She never loved it, it is clear. If you have been in a bad situation and all you want to be is to be happy this woman is not for you. You suffered enough, no point of hanging around for a second marriage with someone who will not mutually help you to have a happy relationship. Seriously, divorce, move away and forget about her ASAP! I wish you the best!