K1 Relationship Struggles

[RC40 6]

I never thought I would be typing this message, but here I am. I married my wife on 11/7 on a K1 visa. Today she revealed to me that the only reason she wants to be with me was to get a visa to bring her family here. We haven't filed AOS yet. What should I do?

[Transborderwife 4,666]

That's awful I'm so sorry to hear that

For your own protection (in case she tries to file via vawa for example) I would speak to a lawyer as soon as possible. Document everything in writing and with specifics as well if she says anything like this again. If this is in fact a fraudulent marriage you have no moral responsibility to adjust her status. I would get her a ticket and send her back.

[kzielu 1,149]

Run.

[RyanFritzie 4]

I agree with transborderwife! Don't file the AOS and send her back home ASAP!

[LA NEGRA 19]

I went though that, file for divorce & do not AOS. She has mo choice but to go home or stay ilegal. Sorry about your situation, i perfectly understand that feeling.

[MacUK 983]

I would also suggest that if your state allows taped conversations to be used as evidence try to record proof of her saying she only married you for immigration benefits

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I would also suggest that if your state allows taped conversations to be used as evidence try to record proof of her saying she only married you for immigration benefits

Florida does not allow it without the other person's consent. OP appears to be from Florida.

[Jon and Krissy 452]

I never thought I would be typing this message, but here I am. I married my wife on 11/7 on a K1 visa. Today she revealed to me that the only reason she wants to be with me was to get a visa to bring her family here. We haven't filed AOS yet. What should I do?

Be sure that you correctly understand what she is saying. Filipino English can be so quirky, that I have heard some Filipinos literally say the opposite of what they meant to say. Seriously. (Not my wife, but other people I have encountered over the years.)

If you are sure this is really the case, though - cut and run, as quickly as possible.

What doesn't add up: if she was clever enough to deceive you this far, why in the world would she cop to it at this point?

[kzielu 1,149]

She may be thinking all she needed was to get to US...

[belinda63 3,038]

At this point don't even think about filing for AOS. You can always do that later IF it turns out there was a misunderstanding. Try to come at the situation sideways and find out if what she said is really what she means. If she only married you for the green card the act should show through sooner or later. The risk is the longer the two of you stay together the more opportunity she has to claim VAWA (that you mentally, emotionally, or physically abused her) which will permit her to obtain a green card without your help. Be very cautious if she is speaking to other Philippinos as they have been know to coach a person as to how to obtain a green card from VAWA.

If you are certain there was not a misunderstanding then file for divorce and move yourself somewhere else temporarily if you can't get her to leave. She can only adjust status either with your help or through VAWA.

[alebrije 15]

I am very sorry you are going through this. If what she says turns out to be what you understood, do not go through with AOS process,you must file for divorce ASAP, and avoid any contact with her when there are no other witnesses, in case she tries to claim abuse to adjust status through VAWA. Crash at a friend's place while this gets settled, or you might regret it later. Best of luck.

[Pitaya 2,577]

Sorry to hear about this.

Retain divorce legal counsel as soon as possible. Protect yourself, find another place to live. Contact ICE, the number is at the bottom of the forum page.

Good luck.

[RC40 6]

Be sure that you correctly understand what she is saying. Filipino English can be so quirky, that I have heard some Filipinos literally say the opposite of what they meant to say. Seriously. (Not my wife, but other people I have encountered over the years.)

If you are sure this is really the case, though - cut and run, as quickly as possible.

What doesn't add up: if she was clever enough to deceive you this far, why in the world would she cop to it at this point?

I can relate to what you are saying. To her credit she did later say that she did not say that, but that it would "be nice" to do that. However, that doesn't explain away her telling me that she has been recording me and doing research on what she needs to do. Nor the 911 call she made earlier when she threatened me. We were not in a heated argument nor anything when she did it. She was laughing at me and said "Let's see." Her options to me was to file the AOS or she will call the police.

I told her that I love her and that the only thing I've wanted was to make our relationship work, but now that I don't trust her because of what she has said and done. Instead of talking about things she packed her bags and left the apartment. I told her while she was packing that I'm not asking her to leave and that I will sleep in the other room and not antagonize her. She left her phone and I asked her to take it and that I'm not asking her to leave her phone. She left it.

Well, I'm not trying to air dirty laundry here. It's no secret we have had communication issues. I've stressed the importance of her telling me her feelings and not bottling them up. She says no to every attempt at counseling. I honestly don't know what to do or how to handle this. I recently came from a real bad relationship and I can tell you that these misunderstandings are so small and not warranting the reactions I am getting. I'm willing to work anything out. I just want to be happy and have a good marriage is all.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Don't file for AOS like other people have said and be very wary of her making VAWA claims as it seems to happen a lot. Sorry that you are going through this. Kinda dumb of her to say that before AOS is complete, sounds like she is good at emotional blackmail though from your last post.

Edited November 30, 2014 by Hotter Otter

[onye uwaoma 131]

Be sure that you correctly understand what she is saying. Filipino English can be so quirky, that I have heard some Filipinos literally say the opposite of what they meant to say. Seriously. (Not my wife, but other people I have encountered over the years.)

If you are sure this is really the case, though - cut and run, as quickly as possible.

What doesn't add up: if she was clever enough to deceive you this far, why in the world would she cop to it at this point?

"What doesn't add up: if she was clever enough to deceive you this far, why in the world would she cop to it at this point? " nemesis could be lurking around so fast that the so-called cleverness could not outwit... That's joint a point