I want to make my dream come true but don't know HOW

[lost_at_sea 995]

Being depressed is more than just feeling "sad" and "crying". It's much more complex than that. You might not be medically-depressed, but you might benefit from talking to an objective outside person (like a councillor) to get your mind clearer and your outlook brighter.

I think you can apply for jobs and give only dating a try - what's the harm, really? Meeting some people close to home, and maybe finding a more satisfying job in the UK, would probably do you the world of good, too.

[jd1982 0]

I'm not applying for jobs in the UK as I already have one, but abroad in America. I'll see what USC women will give me a chance here first before expanding the search perimetre outwards.

[jd1982 0]

Oh God, I had some spare time so thought I look on the internet to see what the prices of properties are in MT, and some are less than $200k and they look great! That's a bargain compared to a crummy terraced house here which is half the size and over twice the price! And these are situated in the town/city of Billings, so if I can get a job there maybe I can pay a deposit for a house as it's so cheap there. I'm going to look into other similar states. I mean, compare these to London prices which are pretty much £1m, central or otherwise, it's a steal!

I mean look at this one:

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/2440-Broadwater-Ave_Billings_MT_59102_M76515-70339?row=24

Wow

[jd1982 0]

Found some better ones in Utah, even cheaper and near Salt Lake!!

This has given me further drive to want to go there and to live my dream of OWNING my OWN HOME.

[bellylaugh 14]

Comparing property prices between London and Billings is comparing apples to oranges but yeah, there are certainly locations in the US where you can get a nice home for a price you could only dream of in the UK.

If you have found locations you think you'd like to live, you might want to research what kind of tech and industry is in the area. Where would you work? Do those companies hire non-US citizens? (there's a significant cost involved for them to sponsor a visa). I would certainly reach out and ask before taking the time to submit applications.

I also want to touch on a couple of things brought up in previous posts:

- see a counsellor/doctor. Depression isn't about crying or feeling sad. Often it can be about apathy; about not caring, not feeling you want to get up, go out, do anything, see anyone. You might not be depressed buthow you're feeling isn't typical and you shouldn't just shrug it off.

- do things to make your life better now. at best, you have a medium to long term plan to move to the US but you can do things to improve your things right now; don't wait to start living your life!

- there are lots of ways to meet people online that aren't dating sites. my husband and I actually first met on a social networking/game site and then when I moved to the US for grad school we started hanging out in person. I currently play a few online games and get to 'meet' people from all over the world that way. It's fun and social and you get to know people in a more relaxing environment than a dating site.

[cdneh 3,112]

I'm giving you a link to a website called city-data. People post there asking about different towns, and real estate, or schools or better areas to avoid crime or poverty. It is listed by state, in alphabetical order.

But a caution, if I may. Wherever you end up, if indeed you do manage to find a way, don't forget you are still there. Don't expect relocating to a foreign country to solve all your problems. You may find your sense of isolation only deepens.

Sometimes I like to think perhaps, even just a bit, Stephen Fry was dead on the money, when he said that America is the glittering prize, promising so much, and yet delivering so staggeringly little.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/#u-s-forums

[SantyAndAllie 155]

If he has no skills, how did he get in? What visa did he use?

Exactly. He's on a work visa! I'll ask him how he got the job. The company is not an overseas one, either.

But to answer your question, of course they can hire foreigners. Sometimes it does depend on if they can show that "there are no other American citizens who can do that work", but like I said, in my friend's case, my sister does his exact job, and I'm sure that most people could.

Again- be careful with trying to find a US woman because it sounds like it's really going to be your ticket to America even if you fell in love, and that could cause you problems. PLUS, though obviously many people have done it, you will get scrutinized more for meeting someone online. When people mention meeting online they get a weird look from border control, hahah!

[jd1982 0]

I forgot to mention that another thing I have to put up with are my nagging parents. If I even mention about wanting to move abroad they laugh it off, don't take it seriously at all and bombard me with questions to put me off as much as they can about going ahead with this, compounding the anxiety and making it seem impossible:

"yeah but who's going to give you a job?"

"it's very expensive moving abroad"

"how are you going to get a visa?"

"how are you going to get a house and a job?"

"you're running away"

How. How. How.

If I talk about property they keep suggesting places in local areas which are nothing but dumps to me and no different from where I am, plus they're monster expensive compared to what I seen on American property sites; the houses are small and towns are ugly. FFS, I don't want to live here! One of the primary reasons for moving there is the cheaper and better houses, and the thought of being involved in a new culture without language being a barrier. I love to see my son one day going to 'kindergarden', grow up going to the prom, or playing for his American football team, or watching the cheerleaders at superbowl, and enjoying the diversity, etc. I wanted to study for my degree there, but couldn't do it because (a) we couldn't afford it and (b) competition would be too much considering population numbers there.

I left home in England to live in Scotland for university and they were the best 5 years for me

Edited November 27, 2014 by jd1982

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Well, I wish I could give you advice on the how, but I get the way you are feeling. The British half of my family loves America and despite being poor in England, they've done well for themselves here. I've got dual citizenship and I would never, not in a million years, move to England. Many people here talk about the "grass is greener" or that you'll just be unhappy here. I got the same lectures on this forum when I talked about how depressed I was in Denmark. Well, back to America, and we are all happy, amazingly happy. It was -17 F here last night and I still love it, our standard of living is so much better than it could ever be in England and Denmark. Despite it being cold, we still get more sunshine.

Maybe another thought could be an EU country? More sunshine, different environment, etc.

[SantyAndAllie 155]

So.. here's what I got from my friend:

"Is he coming to jersey? He will need to find a company to sponsor him to work. I'm on an h1b visa which is for expert workers (or models) so he will need to be a proven specialist in whatever job he does to get that one. I had to go for interviews in London, wait a year for Ucis to approve me over here and fill out a ton of forms. He has to move quick though as I think the visa period for my one ends in March. There are other types though like for seasonal workers or students. It's different when you are trying to get into the country, cos they make it harder for ppl coming from the uk. I'd just tell him to apply and try it, never know what can happen! You can't just come and live here, that doesn't happen for uk people. He will have to find companies to sponsor his visa like miles did for me. Unless he has some marketable skills it's unlikely they will grant him a visa. I suggest he reads the Ucis website and starts calling or emailing companies in the area he wants to be. It's difficult but good luck to him!"

No one is necessarily saying that you won't be happy in the US. That's not what anyone is saying, but we're trying to be realistic. It's not like PARADISE here, but of course there are a lot of good things. But- the point is.. If you can't move to the US, you have to find something else or somewhere else that can make you happy. You have tons of other countries around you, as well. You're going to have a difficult time trying to get a work visa, as my friend explains, but you can still try it. You really need to have an expert skill or do work that not enough Americans want to do in order to get sponsored. Like others mentioned, not many people will do it.

And trying to look for a woman so that you can get a ticket to the US is absolutely the worst way to get here. Meeting someone while you're here and falling in love is one thing.. But with your serious motivation and seemingly desperation to get here, looking for an American woman is probably not a good idea. You may have a hard time distinguishing whether you want her because of your love for her or your love for the US... My suggestion is coming here first to get past that honeymoon stage so you're a little less imaginative of life here and have experienced it. Don't start thinking too much about long term until you've actually been here first!

Oh- and keep seasons in mind. Apparently Montana gets REALLY cold.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Here's an example of "the grass is always greener". I lived in Bermuda as a kid for 4 years.

My parents were pastors there. People would always say how we were so lucky living in paradise. Yes, Somedays it was paradise. However, it was also expensive (groceries were all imported, even Icr cream was considered a delicacy), three inch cockroaches flew, hurricanes pelted us yearly, you were isolated (the island is 24 miles long 1 mile wide), at the time we had two tv stations, three if the wind was blowing in the right direction (late 1980s). But it was also an amazing place to grow up.

I guess what I'm saying is heavily weigh the pros and cons before making a decision.

[SantyAndAllie 155]

Here's an example of "the grass is always greener". I lived in Bermuda as a kid for 4 years.

My parents were pastors there. People would always say how we were so lucky living in paradise. Yes, Somedays it was paradise. However, it was also expensive (groceries were all imported, even Icr cream was considered a delicacy), three inch cockroaches flew, hurricanes pelted us yearly, you were isolated (the island is 24 miles long 1 mile wide), at the time we had two tv stations, three if the wind was blowing in the right direction (late 1980s). But it was also an amazing place to grow up.

I guess what I'm saying is heavily weigh the pros and cons before making a decision.

Exactly. Nowhere is perfect. There's ALWAYS pros and cons, and believe it or not, there will probably be things that you'll miss about the UK! It's true- once you live there, the magic isn't the same. Of course it'll be great, but you won't feel 100% the same about it after a while.

[jd1982 0]

So the person you said had a work visa who you thought had 'no skills' does actually have skills otherwise he wouldn't be on a h1b work visa?

What about the third option - going over there with the intention to invest. Is it possible to move there to setup a business, starting off tiny (with just a few grand as capital/money) and slowly working my way up to a level that's enough for me to live on?

Edited November 28, 2014 by jd1982

[yuna628 9,677]

So the person you said had a work visa who you thought had 'no skills' does actually have skills otherwise he wouldn't be on a h1b work visa?

What about the third option - going over there with the intention to invest. Is it possible to move there to setup a business, starting off tiny (with just a few grand as capital/money) and slowly working my way up to a level that's enough for me to live on?

You would need a significant amount of money for such investment, more than most hardworking Americans would ever see in their lifetime.

Have you tried looking at job search sites that specifically mention H1B sponsorship jobs? While you'll find a lot are for IT there may be something available.. you never know. myvisajobs has some listings.

Saying that you were happy away from your family and in Scotland for 5 years really struck me. Ever considered returning to Scotland? Yes I know America is the dream and all, but for right now I think you're going to have to think smaller and more long term to get to the prize.

[jd1982 0]

I don't really want to go back to Scotland. I feel that chapter in my life is closed and I want to move on. Going back there would feel like returning to the past, taking a step backward instead of forward in my life.

Not sure what you meant by "more long term to get to the prize"?

Edited November 28, 2014 by jd1982