I want to make my dream come true but don't know HOW

[Jawaree 718]

Wow lots of encouraging info ...Dude the answer to

your question is pray.

Now just remember not everything that glitters is gold.

You should take a trip and visit then check out some schools

and work-places in your field (do not travel with resumes)

Maybe you are down on yourself too much,,,visit see if this is

the life you really want and you are not just having fantasies

due to maybe a less than exciting life right now...good luck

[yuna628 9,717]

In answer to posts: I have an MA general arts degree (pass grade), and I work in the media industry but in an officey role. I suppose for employers, I could try places like NBC, ABC and other TV networks (national to local) if they're willing to hire me?

As for education; again, I can't afford it. Even the UK H.E. system is much more expensive now than it was in my day. And I don't have the discipline to study anymore. I'm a working person.

I have considered the marriage option and while they say American women are attracted to British men, it's sad that when they have one look at me they won't see me as British first of all because I don't have either white or black skin. Plus I have tried online dating and gave up because noone would reply to me nomatter how many messages I send, be it all personalised and not the same thing pasted over and over. Even British women don't want me. Us Asian men are bottom of the pile when it comes to dating western women. And the Indian culture I am stuck in is so suffocating to me and I have always been attracted to exoticness. I am a westernised person of eastern descent.

Plus I think the marriage option can be seen as quite dangerous if I am using it as a means to get a green card there. There are forums of people saying they'd be willing to marry a US citizen for money in exchange for money (000s), but I know that immigration will ask questions to the couple in seperate rooms; the one with the money can always turn the other one over and so the 'immigrant' is therefore fined, imprisoned or sent back home, short in money too.

As an American woman, I happen to find men of all ethnicities attractive. We aren't cookie cutter you know. There's someone for everyone. My fiancé and I met online. Not through a dating site, not anywhere special in particular, but on a forum where we had similar interests. My girlfriend said I should stop being broken-hearted about and talk to this nice British guy there.. and that was that really. But I have seen plenty of lasting relationships form through forums and even with gamers.

If you put yourself out there don't have the expectations of snagging your lady with the intent to immigrate, but the intent to find a woman that loves you for you. Chances are though, many of us often just stumble upon the ones we love with no intent to begin with or even seeking them out. There are a few international dating sites. Odd suggestion, but as someone who can freely travel through the EU, have you considered any other country options that may appeal? You always also have the option of taking a long visit, just to take in the country a bit more. You seem like you are an intelligent man with good education, and arts is very desirable. I would still continue to suggest further education. Even if it's something you merely save and work toward for the very long haul. If America is your dream, it is one way inside. We have very excellent art based institutions.

I should caution that America is not always the paradise it may seem. A visit might do you some good, or at least help you feel a bit fresher in perspective.

[HK12 273]

Have you ever even visited America? I think that would be the first step you should take. Come on the VWP as a tourist and stay for as long as you can, or try a student visa as others have advised, so you can get a tiny glimpse of what it is REALLY like here. The media only shows certain parts of this country, and while I, as someone from a rather poor family back in Germany, enjoy the relative freedom I have here, all that glitters is not gold, either. By the way, Montana is beautiful, but unfortunately, there are not many jobs there. Your best bet would be state jobs or being self-employed there. Maybe tourism in certain parts of the state. But either way, good luck. Just stay realistic.

Edited November 22, 2014 by HK12

[mallafri76 1,012]

If you love American nature and the wilderness of Montana, Canada might appeal to you?! Canada's beautiful with amazing scenery, people are friendly, they have WAY lower crime rate than the US and it takes you just a few months to get a work visa, or you can get an immigration visa within six to eight months and move there permanently.

By wanting to got to the US, you're basically aiming for the only country in the world with closed borders. Immigrating to the US is EXTREMELY difficult, I think that's why they have so many illegal immigrants... If I were you, I'd try Canada instead, it's very similar to the US and if you love the US so much, you can still travel down and explore the US on weekends and vacations.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I agree. If you like Montana I highly suggest areas like Banff, Alberta

[SantyAndAllie 155]

Have you ever even visited America? I think that would be the first step you should take. Come on the VWP as a tourist and stay for as long as you can, or try a student visa as others have advised, so you can get a tiny glimpse of what it is REALLY like here. The media only shows certain parts of this country, and while I, as someone from a rather poor family back in Germany, enjoy the relative freedom I have here, all that glitters is not gold, either. By the way, Montana is beautiful, but unfortunately, there are not many jobs there. Your best bet would be state jobs or being self-employed there. Maybe tourism in certain parts of the state. But either way, good luck. Just stay realistic.

Totally agree with HK12. Come on the VWP and see America, if you haven't already. If you have, come again and start making connections. I'm not saying look for a job on a VWP because that would be illegal, BUT while doing some tourism and making friends, you can possibly find job connections that you may be able to apply to in the future. My sister's work friend is from the UK. It's a computer company. He's good with computers, but he's not better than anyone else there. So yes, you should have a certain "skill" when coming on a work visa, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't consider hiring you. Some companies want fresh ideas and faces, and to some, it may be very intriguing to hire someone who is foreign... especially the UK, since the language for the most part isn't a barrier. You can get connected to volunteer work, churches or religious organizations, tourist organizations, etc. Those connections can help you later on because they'll see your desire to live and work in the US.

I would be careful with the advice about finding someone- even though everyone is making sure you know that marrying her would be for LOVE and not for the green card. ONLY because your love for America seems like it would be an extreme motive to find an American woman. I would wait to find that love after you're already here, rather than searching for that now.

Other than that, I think everyone would tell you that their best advice is, whatever you do, do it LEGALLY!

Good luck to you!

[ricnally 259]

You can live anywhere in the EU, no? I would kill for that opportunity.

[Bjorn&lyne 20]

Go on a dating website like match.com or eharmony.com and just see what happens. You have nothing to lose and it might be your best bet considering study and work seems less attainable options.

[LORIEandPHIL 123]

If you have never been to America then visit first, stay awhile, even visit more than once if you can. The grass is definitely not greener here. As a Brit, I would never have moved here just for the sake of it. Trust me you would miss so much about the UK, especially the free health service. On here people move for love (the best of reasons), and I see no reason to limit yourself to only American citizens in your search for that. If you fall for an American all well and good, but not just as a path to the USA.

[bellylaugh 14]

If you're interested in further education, look at PhD programs in the US. You are correct, education here is very expensive but there is also plenty of funding available (and no-one should pursue a PhD unless it is funded!), and this is often available to international students too.

If you are not interested in further education, your options really are much more limited and i'd advise looking for a job with a company in the UK which has locations in the US. I do know a couple of people who have come across that way.

From your post it sounds like you might not have visited the US and I would definitely, definitely, definitely (!) urge a visit as a first step. The US is vast and beautiful and people are friendly but it is not all puppies and sunshine. Take a few weeks off from work and take a road trip. Check out those places that you think you'd like. Can you see yourself living there? Where would you work? Would you enjoy the climate? Is there enough in the local area to interest you? There are tons of places in the States that I love to visit but I could never imagine living.

[jd1982 0]

I agree that a visit definitely makes sense firstly before diving into the deep end of living there.

I love to do a crosscountry, here's a shortlist of trips which I am considering doing (not all, only one as I'm not made out of money):

http://www.trekamerica.co.uk/tours/rms.html

http://www.trekamerica.com/tours/mts.html

http://www.trekamerica.com/tours/tn.html(perhaps too expensive, this one)

If anyone has any other sites for me to look at, especially if you think I'd get more out of my money, let me know.

As for education, i appreciate lots of people recommending this, but I don't have the desire nor inclination to get into the business of sitting down and reading books again, my attention span has fallen alot in this field. I'm just a working guy now. Plus going from my experience I don't think that given the set time to study, I'd find a woman there to go to the lengths of tying the knot with me - I just don't have a good record when it comes to wooing women. Plus the option of people marrying for immigration and then after the three years, paying them and then divorcing to go about their seperate ways, looks like a faster solution if done properly, but how risky is it?

Is there a directory of multinational employers I could try out? Considering I have worked in media for two years, and before that I worked in H.E. for two years, I can look into working in these fields. But I don't think employers do 'transfers' these days; I was told for example that if I wanted to work abroad that I should 'apply for that job like everyone else'. But how often does one successfully move there through an employer? I haven't stayed in a job for more than a year as I have been temping since graduating, but my current job is permanent so I could build some experience in the meantime. The money isn't too good, after taxes and paying for my commuting rail ticket I only get about 1k per month, which I then put into my savings. Even if I do get offered a job, how do I go about arranging a place to stay there, unless the employer can help out with that as well? Househunting from thousands of miles away looks like another seemingly impossible task.

One of my primary reasons for moving is because of the houses there - they're bigger than the ones here and are much less expensive. I don't mind requiring to work in a nearby city or town there, but for home I like it to be somewhere quiet - though if I can't be far away because of work and travel, so be it.

Edited November 23, 2014 by jd1982

[*Snowdrop* 604]

It's a big country - the houses can be much bigger and cheaper than the UK but not in every area and certainly not in the major cities where the network media organisations are. If that's the field you are considering.

Also the grass is definitely not always greener over here. Especially when you have kids - unless you have a lot of money or have a decent amount of money in an area where it goes far. And you have a great job which gives you good health insurance, and if you have that kind of job you may have to deal with not much more than two weeks holiday a year.

So I recommend being more focused than just saying 'live in the USA' - life can be VERY different here depending on where you live.

Especially if you want to have a child here - unless you are going to be wealthy enough to pay for private school you want to research very carefully what's available in terms of state schools and what they offer.

If you are looking for a exciting and cool expat life I recommend Singapore.

[SantyAndAllie 155]

I agree that a visit definitely makes sense firstly before diving into the deep end of living there.

I love to do a crosscountry, here's a shortlist of trips which I am considering doing (not all, only one as I'm not made out of money):

http://www.trekamerica.co.uk/tours/rms.html

http://www.trekamerica.com/tours/mts.html

http://www.trekamerica.com/tours/tn.html(perhaps too expensive, this one)

If anyone has any other sites for me to look at, especially if you think I'd get more out of my money, let me know.

As for education, i appreciate lots of people recommending this, but I don't have the desire nor inclination to get into the business of sitting down and reading books again, my attention span has fallen alot in this field. I'm just a working guy now. Plus going from my experience I don't think that given the set time to study, I'd find a woman there to go to the lengths of tying the knot with me - I just don't have a good record when it comes to wooing women. Plus the option of people marrying for immigration and then after the three years, paying them and then divorcing to go about their seperate ways, looks like a faster solution if done properly, but how risky is it?

Is there a directory of multinational employers I could try out? Considering I have worked in media for two years, and before that I worked in H.E. for two years, I can look into working in these fields. But I don't think employers do 'transfers' these days; I was told for example that if I wanted to work abroad that I should 'apply for that job like everyone else'. But how often does one successfully move there through an employer? I haven't stayed in a job for more than a year as I have been temping since graduating, but my current job is permanent so I could build some experience in the meantime. The money isn't too good, after taxes and paying for my commuting rail ticket I only get about 1k per month, which I then put into my savings. Even if I do get offered a job, how do I go about arranging a place to stay there, unless the employer can help out with that as well? Househunting from thousands of miles away looks like another seemingly impossible task.

One of my primary reasons for moving is because of the houses there - they're bigger than the ones here and are much less expensive. I don't mind requiring to work in a nearby city or town there, but for home I like it to be somewhere quiet - though if I can't be far away because of work and travel, so be it.

First thing first- the marrying for immigration is ILLEGAL. It's not just risky.. IT'S ILLEGAL, and it's why the government is so hard on people like us that are truly in love. Don't get married unless you're really in love with someone.. American or not! Woo, okay, sorry, done with that one

Also- I think you may have some very, VERY exaggerated ideas about the US. Don't get me wrong- I love my country. But I've also traveled to several different countries & continents, and I can tell you that life in the US is NOT simple. Far from it. And life varies from state to state. If you want to live somewhere quieter, you're risking little chances for work (especially for what you're looking for) or having a longggg commute to do so. If you want to live somewhere where there's a lot of opportunities, you're looking at high taxes. Now I can't compare to the UK- I've never been. My fiance's dad & his family lives there, and I know they live in a small-ish house, BUT I live in Jersey, and let me tell you- you pay a ton to live in this part of the East coast and some parts of the West coast, and you are not getting a big place. If you live in New York, Florida, or California (where there's a high amount of immigrants), you'll probably experience a lot of the same thing from the UK- small places costing lots of money! I know you mentioned Montana, but again, you may not find a career that you want out there. If your dream is really just to be in the US, not mattering what job, then that may be one thing... but if you plan on doing something you actually love or at least will be interested in, you may not find that there.

There are websites that show you the best states for jobs & where there are the lowest taxes, so you should definitely do some research on that. Otherwise, seriously, I know you have this big dream, and I don't discount that- but you should really be here and get past the honeymoon phase first. I'm sure you've been out of the country a ton of times, but I mean specifically to the US. My first time out of country I went to Ukraine, and I was OBSESSED. I couldn't get enough, and I wanted so much to pack up and move there. Then after a few times there, I got the opportunity to go to South Africa, and it was then I realized I just love traveling. I have no idea where I want to live yet, but I know that honeymoon phases for countries don't always last. You may be here a while and realize that it's not as great as you thought it was. You may still think it's great, but not as much of a dream as you thought, and you may just like it for vacation. Or you could want to live here and get married and everything. You never know, but it will still start to wear off after a while.

Either way- you're very lucky! You live in a country that allows you to come to the US (and many other countries, for that matter!) on the VWP, which is a huge blessing. That's the only reason my fiance & I were able to visit so much (He has a Spanish citizenship, as well as Ecuadorian). So come without any expectations and just enjoy it. And then see if it's still a dream of yours and where you want to go. That's the best advice I can offer you!

Have a safe & fun trip!! Make some friends in those programs, too!

[jd1982 0]

Good posts, here. Perhaps the only turn-off about the US is the healthcare system. And I am open to the possibility of changing careers if it means being able to live somewhere quieter. It needn't be natural wilderness, a small town would do. Doesn't have to be Montana but I don't really like loud busy places like New York, California or Florida. I agree that maybe I should take some holidays there to sample the country, 'try before you buy'. This is likely to be sometime between July to September next year. My worry is that if I really like the place it might strengthen my desire to go there, and I'm back at square one at how to get there. I'm not really good at networking - if I get someone's email or contact info, I could write to them but in time communication would wither away as we'll be in our own worlds doing our own thing so we wouldn't have time for each other anymore, short of maybe 'liking' a few things on each others' Facebook on the odd occasion.

In the meantime, this has left me really bothered and I don't know how to cope. I've noticed I feel like I've shut down here. I've ceased taken an interest in anything here. At work I'm so preoccupied with this and the same back home, I don't care to hear other peoples' stories. I'm putting money in my savings account but I wonder if I am saving myself for a future that might not even happen. I'm 32 now and haven't really left the nest. Rent rates here are obscene and I feel if I rent or buy a property here I'm condemning myself to staying here forever. And the people here are either non-English speaking immigrants or 'chavs' as we call them. Britain is certainly different from what it was when I was young, it's gotten far rougher. I just feel so jaded here. It's like being in a room for so long; after awhile you'll start to feel sick and want to get out. That's how it is with me and needing a fresh start. I only have travelled twice outside my country in my lifetime! Once in 1991 to see my grandparents in India, and last year 2013 to Norway on a cruise which was also something I always wanted to do and glad I did it. I just can't see myself doing the same thing I am doing now for the next 30 years. People say only I have the power but surely if it's through a spouse, employer or having struck lucky in being a millionaire, I can only do so much? The woman or employer has to accept me and immigration has to give me the green light, only they make the decisions and I can do all I can and still not get any results. I see videos of people saying how much they're enjoying it over there on Youtube like this one...

...and it's left me with an unhealthy feeling of envy, jealousy and wishing I could start over and be born there, all of which are useless feelings to have but they're there.

And yes, I'm aware now the grass isn't always greener, with a different tax system, healthcare system and shorter holiday allocation. But that doesn't stop people from going there still?

And when the VWP reaches its full number of days, then what? Can I use it again for the following year?

Edited November 24, 2014 by jd1982

[bellylaugh 14]

In the meantime, this has left me really bothered and I don't know how to cope. I've noticed I feel like I've shut down here. I've ceased taken an interest in anything here. At work I'm so preoccupied with this and the same back home, I don't care to hear other peoples' stories. I'm putting money in my savings account but I wonder if I am saving myself for a future that might not even happen. I'm 32 now and haven't really left the nest. Rent rates here are obscene and I feel if I rent or buy a property here I'm condemning myself to staying here forever. And the people here are either non-English speaking immigrants or 'chavs' as we call them. Britain is certainly different from what it was when I was young, it's gotten far rougher. I just feel so jaded here. It's like being in a room for so long; after awhile you'll start to feel sick and want to get out. That's how it is with me and needing a fresh start. I only have travelled twice outside my country in my lifetime! Once in 1991 to see my grandparents in India, and last year 2013 to Norway on a cruise which was also something I always wanted to do and glad I did it. I just can't see myself doing the same thing I am doing now for the next 30 years. People say only I have the power but surely if it's through a spouse, employer or having struck lucky in being a millionaire, I can only do so much? The woman or employer has to accept me and immigration has to give me the green light, only they make the decisions and I can do all I can and still not get any results. I see videos of people saying how much they're enjoying it over there on Youtube like this one...

I'm not sure where you live in the UK, but remember - although the country is small, it is also diverse. There is really no magic scenario that will have you moving to the US next week, so I'd really recommend also trying to figure out ways to improve your current situation in the UK. This might mean looking for a new job, relocating to a different area, joining local groups to meet new friends etc. It might seem like you need to cross an ocean to make a fresh start, but you really don't.