The Umbrella Rantolution

[SAT 9,609]

I dare Juna to cut your nads off!

[rlogan 2,036]

I go hitting on other women, and my wife would remove my family jewels in the night.

That's why the wife is in charge of the mistress. It changes everything. I don't hit on other girls. Nor even surf porn without her explicit permission or participation. You take an enormous amount of wind out of the sails of jealousy when they are in control. Not something we are doing right now. All the conditions have to be perfect, including not being in the USA. If we get this second kid into first grade three years early then we can let off the gas for a few months. Maybe.

Technology is amazing. That someone can be texting while hunting. We don't talk about it much. Other than to people who live around us, the personal friends. I think the hardest part in talking to people outside here is shaking the idea it has to be sufficiently "sporting" to the onlooker's standards. Sport has nothing to do with subsistence or personal use/family food. Whatever term you want to apply to what people do here. Ideally it jumps into the freezer itself while you are taking a nap. We don't shame people for going to the grocery store. Like it isn't sporting enough. As if we should make people have to best the bag boy in a 2 out of three MMA set of matches. To get his groceries. lol. That's how we see this idea of "sport". I want 93 salmon in one drift. 1.500 lbs of animal on the front porch. I retired from guaranteeing a moose every year because I crashed twice in 25 years, both times just about killed myself. Doing extreme remote Alaska bush flying with a highly modified Supercub. Every new mod I put on them, it just got me into that much more dangerous places. But then I had kids. I am actually afraid now

I can't even get in the plane because I am scared of it. I think about all the close calls I had. My God, in the Brooks Range sudden blindness, the clouds closed in. I dove like crazy and came out almost upside down finally in a tight canyon, certain death had I not come out in time. My hands shake now just thinking of it. Busted a ski off once doing an approach. Could not see in the flat light. Feeling my way down to this lake out in the wilderness. I landed on one ski and kept that thing up as long as I could until it lost air and hit the ice. Spun me around, emergency locator transmitter goes off. Gas pouring out of the wing, engine still going. No prop strike. I used hose clamps and spruce poles I cut to reinforce the bent wing struts and actually got it out of there to my buddy's shop the next day.

The worst crash I came out with my forehead spurting blood all over what used to be the instrument panel. I crawled out the shattered front window, tied a t-shirt around my forehead, got the raft out and tried to make it downriver to safety. About a 90 mile trip. The raft capsized in rapids because only one arm was working and I could not paddle well. All the gear in the back came forward on me when I nosed in, so it really hurt my shoulder. Broke my ankle. So I got ashore and spent the night at ten degrees shivering by a fire. I made it to a camp I had seen from the air. They had a radio phone and called in a medivac.

I got a moose every time, for about 20 years running. You can fly over them and spot five in a bunch, holy I was always on top of them. But I am just not going to do that any more. I want to stay alive now. I want them on the front porch where my wife can shoot them.

[Darnell 8,478]

Well, looks like we'll have another zillion name-changes before fatigue causes us to settle on one, sigh man. Your suggestion is good in theory, si man, but might be misused or misunderstood by others, sigh man.

some day, you gonna find my excellent title suggestions, print them all out,

and thumbtack it to your workspace.

I concur. You were premature. I understand this is a problem as folk get older.

And speaking of which - hey ! I'm having a birthday this month.

Everyone's turning against me, sigh man.

stop being a premature-thread-jacker, whee-man ! No more splooge on the ceiling !

I think he may be ill.

I think he had an episode recently...

What's the big idea starting new thread in my absence??

He's math-challenged.

This is an easy thing, too, as it's only just a numbered-count. and he mucked it up. Curses !

[Darnell 8,478]

food poisoning since thursday evening. :\

did you cook it yerself? I hope you dropped a dress-size, and recovered already.

[Darnell 8,478]

Took an after shopping nap. I've got to go pee, but I don't want to leave the warm confines of bed. TMI?

All Hail Chamber Pots ! All Hail !! I use one at my organic micro-farm, but empty it each morning.

[Darnell 8,478]

He was on camera about 10 days ago. It's been cold do he might be sleeping.

And thank you.

You see I told that darklelodian to come join me, he's missing all the fun.

nah. I had funsies... Tinkered at the ranch on Saturday, went bow-hunting Sunday. Got my limit on everything, took it in for quick processing, picked it up early this morning. I like the ranch.

[Darnell 8,478]

I need one of those hunger games drones to bring me some hand warmers....

amazon uses em, what's yer problem?

[Darnell 8,478]

why do people think they can get away being so rude in the office? everyone is busy. your time is not any less important than my time.

hint - only respond with a water pistol, filled with cherry or orange koolaid.

[Darnell 8,478]

Mrs TBoneTX will be queuing at her favorite Kohl's store on Black Friday

She's been here long enough, has friends, a car, and a driver's license,

so I think she's making her own Krewe this year.

Watch the next topic for the news.

I only buy k-cups, some cotton t-shirts from Kohl's.

Somehow I just got a flash of a Japanese Fetish Movie Title. Unsure where that came from...

Toofies! Can't you find other stores that have stuff that you want for yer Black Friday Bacchanalia ?

Did I tell you guys the nightmarish experience that happened to me on Saturday? They gave me a peppermint mocha at Starbucks. I took a swig without realizing because they had put the sleeve on it and then I had nowhere to spit it out because I was in the car. I ended up getting coffee all over my jeans and in many many tissues.

It is like drinking liquid toothpaste. I don't care who you are, but if you like to drink toothpaste, you've got some problems. I'm almost too traumatized to go back.

I tried a peppermint thingie at Coffee Bean in Singapura once. Once. Was in some underground walk through, I was happy to spit it out in th trash can. Wasn't what I ordered, so I limped back and asked for my order.

Big fight with husband over practically nothing, like a misunderstanding of nothing these past 2 days.

And of course, because we were fighting, no progress on my bathroom. I'd like to be able to take a shower whenever I damn please.

How's life down south?

It could be worse, aye? He could have left yer @ss.

[Darnell 8,478]

But it ain't extra work. As long as I tell them their moma doesn't work here and they have to take care of themselves. I don't mind teaching people things, if they're willing to learn. Do companies really have people going around swapping out idiots toner cartridges in their desk printers? Or adding paper to it for them? I just don't get where people get this idea companies keep some one on staff just to wipe lazy people's butts.

you have have assigned mentors for the new hires.

no, not you.

[Darnell 8,478]

I dun even know what kinda tree it is. Can you guys ID it?

I dug it out of the woods years ago...

I will guess. Douglass Fir. is common in Texas for high-end xMas tress. GuFen xMas !

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

All Hail Chamber Pots ! All Hail !! I use one at my organic micro-farm, but empty it each morning.

I actually have one in a wooden potty frame for adults - an antique. It is a nifty thing. Maybe I'll get around to posting a picture of it tomorrow.

[Vanitas 310]

I think he had an episode recently...

Most likely.. anyway. Congressman's office got back to me yesterday. MSC is done with my case and ready to send it to Providence, however they won't do that until Providence assigns me an interview date. So waiting on Providence to get off their arses and assign an interview date. They said to call back in a couple of weeks if I've still gotten nowhere. At least it feels like it's moving along.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Most likely.. anyway. Congressman's office got back to me yesterday. MSC is done with my case and ready to send it to Providence, however they won't do that until Providence assigns me an interview date. So waiting on Providence to get off their arses and assign an interview date. They said to call back in a couple of weeks if I've still gotten nowhere. At least it feels like it's moving along.

It is holiday season, federal holiday and staff clearing vacation.

Probably you will have to wait till next year for interview date.

Edited November 19, 2014 by Merrytooth

[Vanitas 310]

It is holiday season, federal holiday and staff clearing vacation.

Probably you will have to wait till next year for interview date.

Very likely. Just hoping it isn't Feb 14th-22nd. Going back to England to see my family. Might be my last chance to see my Mum and Granddad as both are very sick right now. Last fortnight's been.. yeah.