Feeling A Bit Numb

[KiminON 0]

the last week of packing was the worst for me. i'd moved mum into her new apartment, so it was me, some boxes for furniture, my bed and the hounds in the house. i felt like i had to let go of so much of my stuff and while stuff does not make a person, i felt like i had given up a lot.

the worst was having to leave some things i really wanted to take with behind as they wouldn't fit in the car. (brining some of that back next week!)

my surreal moment came the first evening after we crossed the border and were lying in bed (somewhere in Ohio i think). i just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that 9 months of form filling, waiting, interviews, packing and saying good bye were the past and i was with my sweets, moving forward headlong into a new life.

happy and safe travels to you.

k

[Kipster 0]

Well a week from today I'll be crossing the boarder and activating my K-1. This weekend I moved out of my apartment. Did anyone else have that very surreal experience of sitting in their apartment, starting at the blank walls, looking around you and realizing this is all really happening, and feeling an out of body experience? I am 100% about our decision, looking forward to the change, and of course being reuinited with the man of my dreams, but to leave one's country, it's altogether overwhelming at times. I just think about learning new towns, new stores, new "brands".. making new friends, and social scene. I know it will all sort itself out, that time is the one thing that will help the situation. I'm not down, don't get me wrong, but I am curious to hear anyone else's "packing" stories

My first surreal moment came when I was just 18. I can remember it like it was yesterday, even though its been 20 years now. I was sitting on the floor in my room at my parent’s house, just listening to some music and thinking, “This will be the last time I ever live here”. This was the house and room I had grown up in. This was the neighborhood I had been born into and had spent the past 18 years in. This was my world as I had known it, and it was all I had. I had just graduated from high school that summer and was enlisted in the US Navy. This was the day I was to leave and start my journey into the great unknown. This was the day I had to leave and go to Boot Camp.

Only a couple of months earlier, on the night of my high school graduation, I had come home from the graduation party and laid down on the couch in the living room in the dark and wondered where my life would take me. I wondered mostly whether I would find the love I was looking for. I never found it in high school, and now, I was getting ready to join the military, and who knows where I would find it then.

So there I was. And off I went into a strange new world that held who knows what.

So many times what kept me going was you my love, or more precisely, the dream of one day finding you and waking up next to you knowing I would never have to go back to The Day Before You. So many years passed spent at sea looking out over an empty ocean, just wanting to be with you. I pictured you and me together so many times, the walks we would take, the conversations we would have, and of course I saw you as beautiful in character as well as form. And so many nights in my rack I imagined that moment in my mind, what I would think and feel when I would finally wake up with you every morning, how surreal it would seem to me, lying next to you in our cozy bed as I reflected on how far I had traveled and all I had been through to find you. And then I would just roll over in my rack and wake up to another day at sea.

And then one Sunday evening, there you were, out of the blue. Only at the time, I didn’t know she would turn out to be an imposter. And 5 years later, she was out the door and on with her own life. And I was left with another surreal moment. Reflecting on where I had come, and now my dream was shattered.

And now here we are together my love….its you….and now I finally see the beautiful character, form and face of my beloved from a night on my graduation so long ago. You are the real one, because you are so tenderhearted, so loving, and so desirous to be with me. You are exactly the way I dreamed of you on so many nights at sea. You are so much more. I know that God loves me now because of you, and I know He loved me the night of my graduation, because He was there taking very careful notes that night. He was there every time I thought of you. And now He smiles.

Talk about surreal…

[Emancipation 2]

My darling.. you words are like medicine.. (ps we are going to get kicked out of this room baby for being so verbal).. I am blessed.. so blessed indeed.

[warlord 73]

Well after almost 10 years now living here, I still every so often get that surreal moment thinking, is this all really real? Am I really here?

My brother had that too even after 2 years living in Rhode Island, it still felt kind of weird and it really wans't real. He told me you will probably always have that feeling from time to time. So yeah, get used to it ha ha...

[raymaga 25]

Even though it's been almost 3 years since I was "packing up", reading your post made it seem like yesterday. I remember finding it hard to decide what to pack, what to give away and what to throw out. With every box, the feelings of excitement at the prospect of my new life, and the feelings of sadness at what I was leaving behind, grew stronger and stronger.

My son had just recently moved out of our house in preparation of my moving to the U.S., and I used his old bedroom to store the boxes I had packed. Every time I took another packed box into his old bedroom, I felt a very big tug on my heart. We had lived there for 6 years together and I was going to miss him terribly, as well as my younger son and younger daughter who lived with their Dad nearby.

It was a very bittersweet feeling..... I was leaving so many people I adored behind, but at the same time, I was going to a new life with the most wonderful man I had ever met in my whole life.

I just remember thinking..... life's like that......

P.S. My daughter now lives with us, so I do have part of my "old life" near me!!!!!!

[mozplay 29]

All of my stuff was packed up last July and put in storage at my friend's house. I remember it being exhausing at the time, mentally and physically, because I was also saying goodbye to my roommate and cousin. I was moving to the US of course and she was going home to Trinidad. I kept all the stuff that really mattered and took the opportunity to purge the junk that my pack-rat self had collected over the years.

Hardest of all though was leaving the school that I had worked at. Not only was the school my baby (it was a start-up project back in 2003) but some of the students I had known and watched grow for 4 years. They really were my extended family and it was quite emotional. Visiting and then leaving this month was also quite a teary event.

Regardless though, I know that this new life is one that I have chosen and a greater adventure than I would ever have thought possible. I'm loving the experience.

You will too.

Monique