A newbie with timing concerns!

[Kym 0]

I woke up this morning at 3:30 am, I had a feeling I would not be able to sleep very well. But I will say what few hours of sleep that I did get, has certainly done my head some good. I felt as if everything was spinning out of control the entire day yesterday, it was crazy. My mind seems to be a little more clear (not so much brain mush right now...but just give me to the end of the day again), I'm still so very angry and the sadness is settling in once again.

I really don't know how to describe what all I am feeling. I just can't believe all the stress I was already going through before all this happened because I was checking the USCIS website at least 5-6 times a day for any change whats so ever, waiting, waiting and praying. The many many many hours we (myself, Darryl and my family) put into planning the perfect wedding. The many tears I had already cried once November arrived and no word, then December, then January....I felt like I was on a rollercoaster and this was a daily feeling. I could just go on and on and then to find out that not only had I been going through most of these emotions for no reason what so ever, my lawyer has ruined my entire wedding. BTW, eventhough Darryl and I are both 40, this will be both of ours first marriage, I like to think we were waiting on one another. Since we had never been married before, we wanted it extra special and perfect. At this point, I can not even fathom going back to planning a big wedding. My heart is no longer in it...I just want him here with me and I want all this over with so we can put it behind us and start our life together.

I'm sure these next few days will still be chaotic for us. We have a lot of decisions to make and are limited on our time we have to talk to one another because of our time difference and our jobs. So we have to take things one at a time when we will be able. The first thing on the list is deciding on how to deal with this no good, piece of sh** lawyer of ours. I'm sure this will turn into a longer process than expected, but I want compensation and he WILL be reported. We then have to make decisions and start taking actions to cancel our wedding. I guess we will explain our unique situation to all the venders we have left deposits with in hope that they will take sympathy and refund the deposit. Although all of them already know I am still waiting on Darryl to come over, each contract states that the deposit is non-refundable. This money lost will be just the beginning of compensation.

Darryl balances me out well. I am the one that gets super stressed over things and frantic. Darryl on the other hand is the voice of reason and very calm. Although I do say he is super angry over this one and feels the exact same way as I do. But he assures me that we will get through this and one day soon our life will make sense. I can't wait for that day, it just feels like it will NEVER get there.

I want to thank everyone once again for all your help! My life seems to be turned upside down right now, but I am so very grateful that I found this site and was able to get all the help I have gotten thus far. If only I had found this site earlier. I'm having a lot of "if only's" lately. If only I had found this site, if only I had called the customer service center earlier, if only we had filed this on our own and never hired a lawyer. If only if only if only....I would have my beautiful April 21 wedding...something I have been waiting my whole life on and now will never happen. Every girl wants a beautiful wedding once in their lifetime, right? It doesn't really matter if you are 23 or 40, it's still a nice dream.

Ok, let me stop before I get all emotional...once again. lol

Kym

[rebeccajo 14]

Things always look a bit better in the morning, don't they?

Kym, welcome to VJ from another (not young) member. My husband (43 now) had never been married before - I (49) had been. We never really wanted a big wedding. I wanted something nice for him but it wasn't a big deal to me, having had the big thing before (even if it was '70's big which was a load different then than now). Anyway, I digress.

Take a look around this community and I think you will find most members don't end up doing 'the big thing'. By the time we factor in the cost of visiting our fiances, the cost of immigration, and the time already spent apart - well most just get worn out and don't bother. You can take a look at our photos here in my profile and see some from our very small wedding - it was still quite nice. We didn't have all the trimmings, but we had family there. I'm sure you can relate (at your age - ha!) what I mean when I say that family will still be there for you and Darryl years from now. Most of the people that might have been at the wedding will eventually be a distant memory.....

I'd like to suggest that you rid yourself of your 'lawyer' and either process your case on your own or find another competent attorney. I don't want to give you something else to worry about but since you are here at VJ now, it'd be doing you a disservice to not point you in the right direction. You mentioned Darryl's previous run-in with the law. I would like to think that your lawyer informed you it will likely be necessary that as part of Darryl's K1 petition, you will likely need to file a waiver to have his convictions 'forgiven' by the US government in order for him to immigrate. Filing a waiver can be a daunting task. Many people seek legal assistance in this aspect of immigration. On the other hand, many people here also successfully file pro se - without representation. Personally, I have little confidence in your lawyer being able to help you as regards a waiver.

Read more about waivers and take this into account as you and Darryl move forward in the next day or so. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can sort through the information on this board and others to come to a conclusion that works best for your dream of a beautiful wedding, as well as your dream of a beautiful marriage.

Becca

Edited January 30, 2007 by rebeccajo

[Kym 0]

Becca,

Thank you for the nice welcome. I had a look at your pics! A very beautiful bride. I truly wish I had never planned a big wedding, if I had it all to do over, I would do many many things differently. But I did get caught up in the moment. One thing led to another and another and we kept adding and adding. I am still looking forward to a nice honeymoon one day. Just to get away and finally get to relax a little with the man I love. Knowing that we have finally made it...that will be lovely!

*big heavy sigh*

So here is just one more thing to add to the list. No, our lawyer did not inform us that we will need to file waiver to have his convictions forgiven. This is the first I have heard of this. Something I will start looking into right away. Lordy, when will this stop.

In addition, we have absolutely no intentions of keeping him as our lawyer.

Thank you so much for the additional info....very much appreciated!

Kym

[rebeccajo 14]

Becca,

Thank you for the nice welcome. I had a look at your pics! A very beautiful bride. I truly wish I had never planned a big wedding, if I had it all to do over, I would do many many things differently. But I did get caught up in the moment. One thing led to another and another and we kept adding and adding. I am still looking forward to a nice honeymoon one day. Just to get away and finally get to relax a little with the man I love. Knowing that we have finally made it...that will be lovely!

*big heavy sigh*

So here is just one more thing to add to the list. No, our lawyer did not inform us that we will need to file waiver to have his convictions forgiven. This is the first I have heard of this. Something I will start looking into right away. Lordy, when will this stop.

In addition, we have absolutely no intentions of keeping him as our lawyer.

Thank you so much for the additional info....very much appreciated!

Kym

I can relate to wedding planning and one thing leading to another! My husband and I really would have liked to have had a celtic theme to our wedding. Not so much because of the country of his birth, but because we also like things medieval. When we started looking at the cost of custom made wedding attire, the 'right' food, the 'right' decorations - well we quickly gave up. My dress came from ebay and our cake cost 60 bucks. We still had a lovely day!

Don't let the waiver overwhelm you. It is going to be a large part of your experience, but take it one step at a time. I can tell you this - there is the very recent anecdotal experience of the member baileyj96 and her husband's successful immigration from the UK. His charges were also many years ago, and like Darryl he had previously applied for visitor's visas in order to travel to the US. From my conversations with baileyj96, it is her opinion that the grant of a previous visa is somewhat consoling as to the possible outcome of the criminal waiver. In other words, it's a bit of a plus. You can research her posts and contact her privately for more information on this experience.

Your BEST ammunition as you travel this road is RESEARCH. And thoughtful slow consideration. There are many visa options available to you - a K1 visa is not the only horse in the barn. Before you cancel your wedding plans, take a look at the CR1 for already married couples. True, the processing time is longer, but once your husband is finally with you in America, he has greencard in hand. He is done. Something I wish my husband and I had considered when we were so longing to be together and opted for the K1 speed vehicle instead.

[TracyTN 237]

I can't add anything to Becca's wise words, Kym, but I just wanted to say hello. I figured you'd have a tough night. I hope maybe VJ can help you somewhat by at least arming you with information - something that pathetic lawyer did not have.

[Jennymc11 2]

Kym,

I just read this whole thread and just want to say how sorry this has happened. We just started this process ourselves last week and I can't imagine waiting so long to find out we have to start over! You seem to have such a positive attitude and I wish all of us on here could do something to help. Please keep us all updated and hang in there:)

Jenny

[Alex+R 0]

Your BEST ammunition as you travel this road is RESEARCH. And thoughtful slow consideration. There are many visa options available to you - a K1 visa is not the only horse in the barn. Before you cancel your wedding plans, take a look at the CR1 for already married couples. True, the processing time is longer, but once your husband is finally with you in America, he has greencard in hand. He is done. Something I wish my husband and I had considered when we were so longing to be together and opted for the K1 speed vehicle instead.

Yes. If the big wedding is the priority it is not entirely out of the question! But it would mean waiting til after the wedding to file.

[TimsDaisy 0]

Kym - google-up the Missouri State Bar (if you have trouble finding the right place to call, message-me, I have an attorney friend in MO who is also a state legislator there) - and call them IMMEDIATELY. Find out more about this guy. Explain the situation. Does he have a website? Does he hold himself out to be an immigration specialist of any kind?

And don't be bullied by him - that's what he's trying to do by passing the responsibility-buck off to either your impatience or something that "Gets changed from time to time." I call bullshit.

This is important: from now on, get EVERY communication between you and this attorney in writing. If he replies to emails better than over the phone, good, do that. He is going to try to cover his a** with whatever he writes to you, don't let him do it. Spell out your complaints when you email him back and demand responses in writing.

Draw up an itemized list of expenses: all fees you paid him, any costs he collected, the filing fee for the petition; then get into wedding expenses under a list called "projected damages" and send it along with a cover letter explaining the ENTIRE situation to the Missouri State Bar. CC your attorney and send him a copy of the same information. Assuming you do not have an abnormal case, you should be able to show that your attorney, through lack of knowledge or inadequacy of representation, has cost you $xx,xxx - based on the processing times estimated by the government and the data posted on this website.

You have more power in this situation than you might think and the ability to severly damage this guy's reputation and ability to do business (which sounds like you'll save other couples a lot of heartache). Don't threaten him per se, just explain that you are not about to roll over and play along with his negligence and that you are prepared to see to it that he is disciplined by the governing body in your state.

As far as I can tell, there would never have been a point when the basic I-129F instructions would have said to send a package to Missouri instead of one of the then-four service centers that cover all the U.S.

Good luck and go get 'em.

[zyggy 9]

He very well could have a VWP, I don't think he does but I would not guarantee anything right now. Not even my own name. Each time he visits, he always gets a letter from his work, brings evidence of his house, bank accounts, family etc (all the stuff needed, just in case). That part would not be a problem at all.

The Visa Waiver Program isn't something you 'have', it just means that people from participant countries are allowed (if they meet certain conditions, like not having previous overstays in the US, etc etc etc) to enter the US for up to 90 days without any visa at all, instead of having to apply for a tourist visa. They don't need to apply for anything, they just book a plane ticket, turn up, fill in a form during the flight (which is something they'd have to do anyway if they had a visa) and are admitted for up to 90 days when they get to the States. Not the top of your priorities right now, but have a read about it here on the Consulate's website when you get the chance... your fiance should be able to enter the US without a visa (if, like I say, he meets all the criteria such as no overstays in the past, etc) - there is nothing legally stopping him from doing this, he just needs to bring plenty of proof of ties to home, as he's been doing in the past, and be able to convince the immigration officer at the POE that he intends to return to Australia within 90 days rather than immigrate to the US on that visit!

Good luck with it all... and keep us posted - I will be looking out for, and keeping my fingers crossed for, good news from you!!

ps... re: the waste-of-space lawyer... that's the attitude! they must not get away with it!

Ok..here it is in a nutshell and I'm sure when Darryl reads this he will wonder why I am giving out his personal info...lol. As you say you must meet criteria to use the VWP program. I know I was saying it wrong before, but again, my brain is mush right now. About 20 years ago, back in his young and stupid days, Darryl received a DUI, giving him a criminal record. Eventhough it was said this would probably not cause any problems at this time, it was suggested that he get the visa as to not risk being turned away when going through customs. He didn't want to take any chances and is pretty thourough and organized, he had every paper possibly needed in order to get through those gates. That is why he has a visa.

A single DUI is not considered a crime involving moral terpitude (CIMT) that would make him inadmissible to the US... now if there were something associated with the DUI such as vehicular manslaughter or assault for instance... that may rise to the level of a CIMT... If you want an idea of what rises to the level of a CIMT.. you need to come clean on exactly what the convictions were...

But if it was just a simple and single DUI, it does not rise to the level of a CIMT... and therefore would not require a waiver of inaadmissibility for a visa to be issued..

Edited January 30, 2007 by zyggy

[rebeccajo 14]

Kym - google-up the Missouri State Bar (if you have trouble finding the right place to call, message-me, I have an attorney friend in MO who is also a state legislator there) - and call them IMMEDIATELY. Find out more about this guy. Explain the situation. Does he have a website? Does he hold himself out to be an immigration specialist of any kind?

Tim,

I've seen more than once in this community cases of lawyers who believe processing a bit of paperwork with the government couldn't really be all that difficult.

It's as big a mistake as thinking your lawyer can handle every legal need you might ever have, no matter what the situation.

I'm thinking Kym's attorney is more a bumbler than a shyster. But that's just my opinion. If he/she held themselves out to be an immigration specialist, they'd probably be charging a higher retainer.

[TimsDaisy 0]

When people don't take action against bad lawyering, it makes it harder for good, responsive lawyers to get their work done. Some guy in MO is damaging EVERYONE's ability to practice good law elsewhere. Lawyers are duty-bound not to take cases in which they have no experience - at least not without informing the client and getting their informed consent to proceed with little previous knowledge.

If this guy does not hold himself out to be an immigration specialist or someone at least familiar with immigration law and procedure, he should have advised Kym of such or he should be disciplined. If he does say he's an expert or specialist, then his negligence is even more glaring and he should be disciplined.

Regardless of his level of expertise - he messed up big time and should be held accountable. Period.

[rebeccajo 14]

If this guy does not hold himself out to be an immigration specialist or someone at least familiar with immigration law and procedure, he should have advised Kym of such or he should be disciplined. If he does say he's an expert or specialist, then his negligence is even more glaring and he should be disciplined.

Regardless of his level of expertise - he messed up big time and should be held accountable. Period.

I agree.

[Caladan 19]

Just wanted to second zyggy's comment; a single DUI alone isn't a CiMT. And fourteenth the idea to report your lawyer.

And third rebeccajo's. Information is your friend in determining what your options are. Processing a bit of paperwork isn't all that difficult (which is why there's no excuse for what your lawyer did), but it does take some research.

The other thing that helps is a friendly relationship to chocolate and taking one day at a time. Hang in there. You two can do this, and you can have your big wedding, too (you might just have to move it back a bit.)

[Kym 0]

I have found my way to The Office of The Chief Disciplinary Counsel for the state of Missouri. I think I am headed in the right direction. I am currently in the process of reading all the information I can get from this site and there is a form to download to fill out to submit a complaint. Something Darryl and I will be doing as soon as we gather all of our information for evidence. Including our "projected damages".

In the meantime, Darryl is in the process of writing an email/letter to the head of our lawyer's firm, outlining our complaints, the mental and physical stress and monetary damages. We are not mentioning compensation at this point. Once we have finalized this letter, we will then start making our list of all the expenses. And proceed from there.

I found this post to be very helpful and I thank you for that.

Kym

[Kym 0]

But if it was just a simple and single DUI, it does not rise to the level of a CIMT... and therefore would not require a waiver of inaadmissibility for a visa to be issued..

Darryl rec'd a simple DUI, nothing more. So perhaps this is one subject working in our favor. I hope you are correct about the waiver, one less thing to worry about would be nice.