Married on K1 a year ago_Marriage is failing (Merged with updated questions)

[jhoanRob 2]

if that happens to me? get a divorce and move on. i am also thinking he impregnated you on purpose so the marriage will appear on good faith. you might have a difficulty proving to uscis that he betrayed you because you had a kid together. just saying..

[thatangela 134]

I think the other people have given you good advice regarding filing for a no fault divorce, but if you are worried about his underhandedness, I wouldn't hesitate to get a lawyer.

That being said, I find your above quoted statement concerning. If that is the attitude you had, then one should not be upset to find out that one's partner took full advantage of this. Cheating is not a man being a man, but rather a player/cheater being a player/cheater. Even from a health perspective it is concerning that he had unprotected sex with someone else and didn't tell you and probably didn't get tested and then proceeded to have unprotected sex with you. You are lucky that you'd didn't catch something worse than a PITA from this man.

Times two. I had a lot of trouble with that line, too.

A real man is trustworthy, loyal and doesn't cheat.

[raven52 233]

So sorry, for your grief, ""It is time to go!!!""

You cannot be 100% of a marriage, it takes two, and there 'appears' to be lies and deception, confront him in a calm manner, BUT have a "plan" in place, and I would hope you would have an attorney by then, to "back you up".,.,.,.,.,.it is time to go!

I say this regretfully, as I love to read happy stories on this site, my heart goes out to you!

WE are here for you!

[m.iftikhar 6]

I have no words to say, becuse every word will double your pain,i would say Listen your inner voice and keep your chin high.

THIS SMALL POEM ...............

We use to laugh and talk all night.
Now we argue, fuss, and fight.

All is wrong in things I do.
To take the blame is never you.

So quick to run when things get rough.
Your best excuse its just to tough.

Home alone has become my life.
Did you forget you had a wife.

I keep it secret when things turn bad.
Because our kids love their dad.

I'll sleep tonight on what I wrote.

As I leave this good-bye note.

[NewBeginnings1 10]

I have no words to say, becuse every word will double your pain,i would say Listen your inner voice and keep your chin high.

THIS SMALL POEM ...............

We use to laugh and talk all night.

Now we argue, fuss, and fight.

All is wrong in things I do.

To take the blame is never you.

So quick to run when things get rough.

Your best excuse its just to tough.

Home alone has become my life.

Did you forget you had a wife.

I keep it secret when things turn bad.

Because our kids love their dad.

I'll sleep tonight on what I wrote.

As I leave this good-bye note.

really hits me

[NewBeginnings1 10]

I will try to keep this short. I am the USC. My husband enterd on K1 we married within 90days, filed AOS and he currently is here on his conditional greencard. Shortly after being married, we got pregnant. A couple of weeks after being pregnant I discovered he had a child who was a few weeks old. He had cheated while abroad and as a result he got the woman pregnant. The other woman is from Canada. He did not confess it to me, I happen to find he had a profile on FB and saw he had the baby posted. To make a long story short, he omitted to me that he had made a mistake and got this woman pregnant before he entered the US. I married him and agreed to get pregnant quickly on the premise he had no children and my age (34 at the time) (he did not list on any children nor intention of children on any of his forms). In essense he did not give me the choice to decide if I wanted to get married to him and have his children. He omitted it and I only learned about everything after the fact.

As I understand, if I apply for divorce and it is granted before he has to remove conditions then he can apply without me and will need to prove good faith.

How does he prove good faith if he fathered this child? He did not tell me until after I was pregnant, he goes monthly to see this child in Canada, he does not have income (currently is staying at home with our twins), and on his social media does not indicate he is married nor has me or our children anywhere - only his ####### child. I did list him on my car note as a co-signer so he could establish credit but the car is solely in my name.

I do not want to help him. I feel he will hang himself come time for his removal of conditions. I just don't want to be at risk. Now knowing if I initiate divorce/separation from him he can initate the process to remove conditions sooner than later. I don't want to give him that option.

Here's my list of questions on what factors immigration will review to prove good faith.

1. Last year I filed taxes as married filed jointly - should I file the same as he had no income? will this help him prove good faith. If it does should I just file married filed separately and forget his little exemption?
2. Should I not file for divorce/separation until after the expiration of his conditional card?
3. Could I refinance my car loan and drop him off the car loan - I let him co-sign so he could establish credit?
4. Will his monthly visits to Canada put up a red flag? He says he will just admit he did not know the child was his at the time of marriage - however to this date he has not taken a DNA test. His monthly trips began in July well after the car loan and two weeks after the birth of our twins.
5. I do not want to write a letter explaining anything to immigration - what other factors could he use to determine good faith if I refuse to sign removal of conditions for him, if he initates divorce proceedings, and other than a car loan and first tax year filed as married jointly (he arrived in 8/2013 so only 4 months in US during that tax year) he has nothing else to prove it.

Through my discoveries, he had a relationship with this woman pretty much the entire time while abroad. He claims he only entertained her after she was pregnant, but admitted to me he never told her his intentions (marrying me) until after the baby was born. To this date he does not publically acknowledge he is married. None of his social media profiles prove it - will reviewers check social media? -he has a separate email for all his immigration paperwork. He currently does some promotional work for a local restuarant which I am sure if he continues on his path come time for removal he will list this as his employer - his social media presense exists on at this restaurants website. He and I have a couple of pictures together. but not many. Mostly at the birth and a couple here and there.

Any information will be helpful.

Edited December 3, 2014 by NewBeginnings1

[Mike-eeh and Odie 193]

People make mistakes. He fathered a child with another woman before you were married. That does not mean he did not marry you in good faith. Everyone keeps skeletons in their closet, and sooner or later we find out about them. Keeping something like a newborn child from you is a pretty big skeleton, and had you not discovered it on FB, he probably would have confessed to you sooner or later, especially if he wanted to go see his child in Canada. As it is however, you chose to marry him without digging deeper into his life, and this is where your predicament lies.

He did enter the marriage on good faith, and here is all the proof (based on what you said):

1. He married you and has been faithful after his marriage to you (that you know of).

2. You have children together. Nothing says good faith like children.

3. You filed jointly, and have made payments together.

4. You both lived at the same address.

5. Will assume he has mail that comes to the same address.

6. Your wanting to stop filing jointly, removing him off the car payment or any other joint venture to disprove he entered the marriage "not in good faith," only proves he did enter the marriage in good faith.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

OP's previous post:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/521705-married-on-k1-a-year-ago-marriage-is-failing/#entry7329681

[Merrytooth 5,748]

People make mistakes. He fathered a child with another woman before you were married. That does not mean he did not marry you in good faith. Everyone keeps skeletons in their closet, and sooner or later we find out about them. Keeping something like a newborn child from you is a pretty big skeleton, and had you not discovered it on FB, he probably would have confessed to you sooner or later, especially if he wanted to go see his child in Canada. As it is however, you chose to marry him without digging deeper into his life, and this is where your predicament lies.

He did enter the marriage on good faith, and here is all the proof (based on what you said):

1. He married you and has been faithful after his marriage to you (that you know of).

2. You have children together. Nothing says good faith like children.

3. You filed jointly, and have made payments together.

4. You both lived at the same address.

5. Will assume he has mail that comes to the same address.

6. Your wanting to stop filing jointly, removing him off the car payment or any other joint venture to disprove he entered the marriage "not in good faith," only proves he did enter the marriage in good faith.

Having children together --> only prove both of you have sex.

Go read up verysadguy thread. They have a child together but he is conned big time.

[Ontarkie 14,225]

~~Thread merged with continuation questions. Please keep similar questions together as it helps members to have as much information as possible when they reply.~~

[Caryh 5,206]

How USCIS see's good faith and how your average person see's good faith are not the same thing.

Continuing to live in the same household is evidence they look at. Filing taxes together, getting mail at the same address, loans together, all evidence of good faith. I kind of doubt they looked at my wife and I's FB pages when she removed conditions, but they would have seen plenty there showing things we always do together.

Withholding a divorce you plan to have until after you don't sign the joint papers to remove conditions, is probably playing in his favor, as it shows a longer marriage.

I can see you would like to hurt him, and get him booted out of the country, he probably deserves it. But the system isn't really set up to work that way. You'd be better served to cut your losses and cut the creep loose now, and move on with your life.

[Fan_Dancer 171]

I need a Like button!

There is one - the up arrow at the bottom right of a post.