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[dana33 0]

Being an optimist, i blieved we can work things out and i can bring some sense of order into his life. But with with

each passing day, it is I who is losing mine.

We had a rush courthouse wedding on jan 10. No one from his family attended bec he did not invite anyone although they knew we were arriving from WV. i did not mind bec i had no friends or family either in FL. His mom and aunt organized a family gathering the for the next day--they are sweet and I love them.

BUT that wedding date was so late bec he kept procrastinating evrytime we returned to FL from his 2- week hitch, saying we had 90 days to do get wed. I just was worried about the AOS and the fact that we had no home and our mailing address was at his best friend's house, some 45 miles away and near the alabama state line. And because we married late, i missed the window of getting my SSN. My K1 Visa expired feb 13.

[dana33 0]

Cont.

Filing my Aos turned out to be an ordeal, as well. He kept delaying it and after my begging, he finally agreed to sign the I864, pay the AOS fee and drive me to the post office to send it off to chicago. I had prepared all the documents myself, and on some days, i had to take the bus from the last motel we stayed in, and walked a mile to the public library just so I could print the barcoded versions. My packet was finally mailed May 31, 3 months after my K1 expired. So for 9 months, i had been traveling on the road thru 12 states without a SSN -- and no medical insurance because he simply would not sign up for it at his company. He says he would rather pay the penalty.

I may come from a 3rd world country but always had excellent health insurance with my job there and universal govt health insurance. It is one of the things i expected he would provide once i was here.

[dana33 0]

The other bone of contention was looking for an apartment, our own little place in FL for the meantime. Again, it was like pulling teeth with him. I was the one scouring trulia, zillow and thrifty nickel and i had no mental map of the city. After 3 weeks of searching, i narrowed it down to a 2br 2bath near a target and publix, at&t and verizon so that when he was away at work out of state, i can walk to the stores and buy healthy food to cook, and not be isolated. The place also had a small pool and gym where i can work out. after all, i had no license and car-- although i know how to drive. BUT he thumbed down the place. He preferred another apartment, which was 100 dlrs cheaper but had free cable.

We finally moved into the latter last May but there is nothing nearby in terms of food stores or parks recreation. It's not bad but it is like a shoebox and our neighbors are virtually invisible. There is no place to really walk so i just exercise indoors on a yoga mat and i walk to the Circle K to buy milk and fruits. When he is home, I let him sleep all he wants, cook for him. It is also the time we pay all our bills. Before he leaves again for work, we stock up on food in the ref. I stopped traveling with him bec hotel bills alone cost us approx $1500 for 2 weeks.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

OMG, that's very difficult life. I am sorry to hear about the situation. When did you file your I-485? Make sure you get your EAD as soon as fast - you can call to ask for expedite- and started working to help pay the bills.

[dana33 0]

When he is 75o miles away at work, i am by myself in the apt for 18 days. I try to walk outside to get some fresh air. We have very little furniture, most of which we bought at thrift market and mission. I drew the line with our bed, which we bought brand new.

I do get a rare chance to be with the inlaws when he is away. His aunt and uncle ( I enjoy their company) make the 45 mile drive to pick me up so i can spend the week with them and my parents in law, who are old but dont get out much; His older son is okay but he and his wife work. His daughter is also grown but she has own family and job, too.

So my situation has been hard and lonely. The nearest friend i have is in mobile. I call my friends back home via skype but i try not to reveal too much about my situatuon. I tell my hubby that I had hoped he had secured my AOS as early as possible, made it a little easier on me re the apartment and gave me some kind of mobility first. Sadly, he prioritized other things first like spending his tax refund on a pickup truck. I was so confused then but he seems oblivious, saying i worry too much and i dont trust him.

Well I finally had my biometrics in metairie last july 11 and hubby had to leave work in TX, fly to FL and drive me there. There was no one in his family to bring me.

[dana33 0]

It was a 4 hr drive for a 15- minute processing. He flew back to Tthe next day bec he cannot miss a day at work or their company will get sued.

SO, I finally got my EAD in aug. BUT they printed my first name wrong!!! Just the same, hubby drove me to the SS office that day and by some strange twist, my SS card came in the mail a few weeks later with the correct first, middle and surname!! I have not bothered to send the EAD back for correction bec even if i got my drivers license, my husband hasnt bought me a car. so I still cant get to work even if i applied for a job. We agreed i would work but My husband has, maybe intentionally or unintentionally kept me from forging friendships in Fl. I miss my friends back home and have relatives and friends scatterd in the US but no one close by.

So now, here i am, toxic from all the stress of my 11 months in the land of the free; i have in effect lost my freedom. Am not being physically abused but have started feeling depressed and resentful. I tried tp tell.some friends i want to leave but they keep tell My health is failing (paey ng me be patient, its partnof the adjustment phase and most newlyweds go through that.

So i keep the whining on low. I try to keep busy reading . I want to work online but hubby still wont upgrade our pc.

[dana33 0]

Cont.

So here us where the danger part comes in.

Unfortunately, and most likely from undergoing so much stress and heartache, I started having palpitations last Aug. I asked hubby to take me to a doctor but he kwpt putting it off, saying I worry too much and was just having anxiety attacks. Just to avoid arguments with him, I just keep quiet and turn to prayer. anBut I have lost 20 lbs in 2 months and am shedding a lot of hair. The skin on my arms and legs have also startes wrinkling. Am sleep deprives esp when I am alone in the apartment and watch the same tv shows just so i can sleep. I dont even recognize myself and i cant eat. Bec i have no health insurance or car or employment, i have little or no access to a a doctor or dentist. I once walked to an urgent care clinic but was only prescribed an antidepressant. I only took 3. A kind pinoy once drove me to a filipino doctor but she refused to see me bec i was uninsured.

The only doctor my husband took me to is to a 40-dlr clinic run by an indian GP, who just took my BP and extended my Prescriptions for my Bp pills from my doc back home.

I have not had a blood workup, mammogram or pap smear since i arrived.

Amid my health concerns, I received an interview waiver a few weeks ago from uscis.

[dana33 0]

Now i do not know if i will Now i do not know if i will get Gc in mail after 6 mos or be called to an interview in atlanta or jacksonville and when. I would rather we had a scheduled interview but frankly, in my current state, i would rather just abandon everything and fly home. My enthusiasm over my aos is fading. Frankly, in my current state, i would rather just abandon everything and fly home. But even that i think would be a difficult task. My family im sure will be saddened to see my physical appearance. I worry about ending up in an ER, be incapacitated and medically deported.

[landr 126]

What does you husband say about your health? Has he noticed?

My gut reaction is that since you have your EAD/AP (it is the combo card, right?), fly home and spend some time with family, away from your current situation. Get your head together and eat some food that you're used to. Think about what you need to do and make a plan. Tell your husband that you need to visit your family.

You definitely can't continue to live as you've been living. If your husband is ignorant but willing to change, that would be a different matter. But it sounds like it's been an uphill battle since you landed in the US. And now your health is failing. You need to think of yourself now. As shameful as it might seem to head back home, potentially losing your health and life over this is not worth it.

Edited October 31, 2014 by landr

[dana33 0]

He started to worry when he came home from work and saw how thin I was. He said I wasn't eating enough and drinking enough water. He took me out to eat in different places but I just couldnt enjoy it anymore. He said he is taking me to a cardiologist and have some bloodwork done. I will ask for him to send me home. I know he wont'agree but you are right, I have to think of myself first.

OMG, that's very difficult life. I am sorry to hear about the situation. When did you file your I-485? Make sure you get your EAD as soon as fast - you can call to ask for expedite- and started working to help pay the bills.

[dana33 0]

I already got my EAD but my first name has an error. I got my SSN later and the name on it was correct. Am wondering if I should still send the EAD back to Uscis for correction. It may take forever for them to send it back and I may need it to go home in light if my health.

[landr 126]

Can you schedule an INFOPASS appointment and see if they can expedite the name correction for your EAD/AP card?

[dana33 0]

If that is what needs to be done then we will have to do an INFOPASS appointment.Thanks for the advice.

[NikLR 13,227]

I hope you have updated the USCIS about your current address. I wouldn't want you to miss any correspondence. I think you should think very hard if you really want to live in the USA. Even without your husband, life will not be easy or what many consider the "american dream." What it really is and what others think it is, are two completely different things.

[luckytxn 2,264]

Have you told your husband all this?