London Embassy Graduates Thread

[pax 0]

The cards at Viapin are all very good; right now I'm on the Boss LA card, which, provided you can dial domestic long distance for free (I use my cell phone), gives me 1.3 cents/min to the UK. A $10 card gets me something like 13 hours at that rate.

[HuffyTheSlayer 22]

Thanks guys. I'll check them out.

[shakysgirl 1]

Hi- I just thought I'd update you all really quickly that my husband made it here and it is wonderful. Seeing my daughter AND my husband both cry with joy at their reunion was probably one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. He did have a bit of trouble coming through the POE. Not really trouble, but they did spend AGES questioning him about his denied entrance last year, which we both found odd considering this had been discussed already at the visa interview and really isn't applicable anymore now that he has a valid visa. Will this follow him straight through to the AOS interview? I don't know. I thought I was going to throw up waiting in arrivals- and when he didn't come through and didn't come through I really started thinking that's it- something's wrong! I burst into tears like a big girls blouse when he finally walked through the doors!

Anyway, we will now apply for his EAD and his AOS as soon as possible. I wanted a paperwork break, but part of me just wants to get all this stuff sorted and out of the way so I can turn my back on immigration stuff!!

Thanks to everyone here who has offered and continues to offer such great advice and support!

[pax 0]

Awwww, that's great. I love reunion stories.

I'm looking at my calendar now and it's only 47 days until Ewen and I get to have a reunion story. He's worrying himself so much over getting everything ready to move; he's apparently taking a bunch of stuff to his mother's house this weekend and trying to clean up one of his computers to give to her. I'm worried that he's working himself up so much that he's going to get sick and burned out. Not that he shouldn't be worried or shouldn't be getting all his ducks in a row or anything, but...

I just wish there was something I could do. I wish I could afford to take a few days off from work to go over and help him (I can't). And I just worry that he's going to be coming over here and feel completely uncomfortable and un-at home, and I feel so overwhelmed, trying to make that not happen...

I'll be so glad when this is over (the separation, that is). I've about had it.

[weebeansy 0]

I just wish there was something I could do. I wish I could afford to take a few days off from work to go over and help him (I can't). And I just worry that he's going to be coming over here and feel completely uncomfortable and un-at home, and I feel so overwhelmed, trying to make that not happen...

I'll be so glad when this is over (the separation, that is). I've about had it.

Hey Pax,

I'm totally with you on that comment. Jaf is arriving in the US in only 4 days and I'm so excited but at the same time I almost feel like I'm housing this secret guilt and almost feel as though I'm being entirely selfish for being so excited and happy for him to just get here when he's going through a process of saying good-bye to his family and friends and everything familiar just to be with me. That makes me feel so incredibly special and just reaffirms how much I already know he loves me but at the same time it puts so much pressure on you....even though I know it's not the case I feel like it's all up to me to try to make the transition for him here as smooth and enjoyable as possible when in reality I know that it's not going to be easy, especially for the first few months when he can't work or drive or do much of any living at all. So while I'm all excited, I know that he's feeling this incredible mix of sadness and excitement and nervousness and just every possible emotion all mixed into one. I also feel a bit guilty to be stealing him away from his family and friends....they're all very happy for us and have been very supportive but I feel like a thief....taking him over here to be all mine. So yes, it's definitely hard. But I know that when I finally see him and we fall into each others arms and know that it's not for some temporary span of time and can just be together and do simple things like brush our teeth together every night....it will all be worth it...Beansy

[Estella76 0]

Kiki, Adam and I are doing well. We are finally starting to live a box free existence after moving to our new place but we love the apartment. The only thing that I never saw coming was that he absolutely cannot put together furniture. I made the incorrect assumption that because he's a dude he could put together all our Target stuff but I was SO wrong. So we have boxes of unassembled furniture just waiting for me to try my hand at it LOL But I am so happy it's sick. I am so glad your AOS interview was scheduled so soon...I know you will breeze right through it!

Pax and Beansy I totally know where you both are coming from. The seperation towards the end becomes almost unbearable especially once your loved one has their Visa in hand. Then we feel so impatient for them to just get here, when meanwhile they are over there upset because they are leaving everything and everyone they know. As for the stress part Pax , yes it is stressful for Ewen to try to see what belongings he will take and what he can leave behind, but believe me it will be just as stressful for both of you once Ewen gets here. Even if he brings a lot of his stuff immediately he wont know many people or have hobbies here or a job and he will most likely feel lost...I know Adam felt the same way and is just starting to fill his time by navigating art galleries. And it is stressful to you because your routine WILL change. I know that Adam does not have much to do all day so at night he wants to spend total time with me. I find it hard to watch all my TIVO and even log on to the computer to chat with friends, but I figure it will all even out soon. I think right before and right after the UKC arrives can be very stressful for both parties and lead to a lot of stress and fighting, but if love is there, it will prevail

Okay so I do have one shop question here. I know this was on the boards but I can't find it so maybe it was on the old ones? We are going to get Adam's SSN on Monday...we are going to try for a slam dunk of SSN and Marriage license in one day since I dont have any more days off to take we have to combine the two. On the SSN application, it asks if he is legally allowed to work. I know he isn't yet, but should he check yes anyway? If he doesn't I think he needs to provide evidence of why he needs the SSN for other reasons and that seems complicated. He will eventually be able to work so blah I just don't know

[Alison 0]

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been on here much lately, my mind is playing up to all sorts of things that are going to be changing and giving me second thoughts about so much stuff. Keep crying on and off when I start to think things especially certain people like my daughter, my foster parents and so on. I too wish Scott was here to help me and get things sorted out cause I'm pretty scared, worried, nervous, excited etc. I have 10 weeks from today left to go and at the moment I try not to think about it. I am just going day by day as they go quicker when the kids are at school. My sister can't make to the wedding, none of my family can attend but she's coming up on the 29th for the day with her daughters who I haven't seen for ages for the day and hopefuly take some pictures too. Then in the Easter holdiays, my other sister, her girls, my daughter Fiona and my other two are going out for the day hopefully and April my foster parents are suppose to be visiting, when I don't know. Me and Scott are having rows now and then and all of this waiting is getting on my nerves, his too. People who I see every week keep reminding me, saying ooh it's not long now is it and in a way it is getting on my nerves cause I just want to get it over and done with, do you know what I mean.

Thanks for putting up with me and this.

Alison.

[pax 0]

I'm kind of glad that so many of us are on the same page.

I feel so powerless right now, basically. I feel like Ewen's doing this huge thing and...well, maybe I'll fuss around a bit putting up some knickknacks and making room for his stuff in the closet and what have you, but it seems so insignificant. And I'm feeling increasingly guilty about the things that I do just for myself, or with my friends and family; I went to church and to my dad's house for a while last night, and I felt so badly because I had to cut mine and Ewen's nightly chat drastically short to do it. Next weekend I'm having a girls' day with some of my very good friends, pub-crawling basically during the St. Patrick's Day parade where I live (it's a tradition), and I want to go to a show at a club in Philly the week before Ewen gets here...and I feel guilty about all of it! I'm trying to tell myself that *now* is the time to do silly things Ewen won't be interested in so that we can spend lots of time together once he's actually here, but I don't want him to feel like I don't feel like attending to his needs *now*. It's a big fat mess.

One of us was going to have to do this, I know. If it wasn't him, it would have had to have been me, and based on circumstances with the both of us, it's faster and cheaper (believe it or not) to have him come here. And I still feel guilty. I worry about changes I'll have to make in my own life, and then I remember that any changes I'll have to make are WELL outweighed by the changes he's making... And I don't know how to not feel guilty and stressed-out about it. It's not him; I know it's me driving myself nuts with this.

I wish there was a manual for this, don't you?

[Estella76 0]

Pax,

I think if there was a manual I wouldn't even understand it because my brain is fried And if it was anything like the direction manuals that Target gives you to assemble furniture, I would most definitely NOT be able to follow

Anyway I know this is easier said than done but you have to try to stop feeling guilty right now. I know that one more thing that might stress Ewen is that you DO feel this way. Just the fact that you care about his feelings and what he is going through, shows that you truly do love him and that you are there for him emotionally and spiritually though you can't be physically. When it all comes down to it, he is the only one who can really do this and it's something that needs to come from within. You are being a great fiancee by being there for him, even if you sometimes have to cut time short.

I think that the important thing here is for the USC to NOT totally change their routine but open it up to their UK loved one. You should still have your girls night and nights with the family when Ewen is here and most certainly now. If you give all of it up or even most of it then you will lose a sense of yourself and start to feel really alienated as well. I'm kinda in that stage now. I miss coming on here so much, I dont talk to my friends as much, or family...I feel like I don't have enough hours in a day to accomodate everyone. But at the same time I know how difficult it was for Adam to leave everyone behind so I want to make his life welcoming. I CAN tell you that if you get fox soccer channel and BBC America it will be a great start to show that this world is not as large as it once was.

Right now, even though Ewen is doing one of the hardest things he will ever have to do, you are there for him but you also have to take care of yourself. And when he is here, then you can still do those silly things but maybe instead of girls nights up front you do "friends nights" and invite him along. Until you both can fall into a routine together and he can have his own friend base to have his "nights" with.

There is no simple solution for any of this. This will most likely be one of the most stressful times you both will ever go through. But you knew back when you sumbitted your application to the USCIS that this is where it would lead. And as long as you both know that you would rather take risks to be together, than lead stable lives apart, then you will both be great.

Just hang in there!!!

[FormerBrit 0]

Okay so I do have one shop question here. I know this was on the boards but I can't find it so maybe it was on the old ones? We are going to get Adam's SSN on Monday...we are going to try for a slam dunk of SSN and Marriage license in one day since I dont have any more days off to take we have to combine the two. On the SSN application, it asks if he is legally allowed to work. I know he isn't yet, but should he check yes anyway? If he doesn't I think he needs to provide evidence of why he needs the SSN for other reasons and that seems complicated. He will eventually be able to work so blah I just don't know

Estella, when I applied for my SSN, we were already married. I ticked "legal alien allowed to work". Also, I had to show my marriage certificate (original) to the lady in the SSN office, also my passport and birth certificate (all originals). She copied them and gave me the originals back. (May be different in New York though).

I have not received my AOS interview yet - wish I had - just the biometircs appointment - but it's better than nothing

Kiki

[rebeccajo 14]

Oh, girls...do I hear ya!!!!

We are nearly 6 months into being together. Do you know what the one thing is I know today for sure? What with all the unpacking, clothes re-arranging, more groceries to buy, more clothes to wash, wedding arrangements, name changing, utility company calling, government office visiting, form filing, schedule juggling, resume' building, job hunting, unemployment, savings depletion, money juggling, kids schedules, dogs schedules, cats attitude, accent gawkers, no decent tea or bacon or biscuits or spuds, squabbles, making up, etc. etc. etc.? Do you know what the one fundamental truth is?

That I love that man even more than I did the day he got on the plane. And that he loves me back.

If you can picture that, and trust me on it...........you might feel better.

Edited March 3, 2006 by rebeccajo

[pax 0]

You know what, Rebecca...I can.

***

All other commentary is pre-empted to let everyone know that Mary and Tom have a letter from USCIS today...please swing by the Waivers thread and give them some good VJ mojo!

[Lou Lou 1]

The one thing to remember is the only constant guarantee in life is change. When you can accept that it does make it easier

[lawrencetoland 3]

Damian has had a couple of breakdowns and all I could do was hold him. He just felt really terrible. He told me how everything here is plastic (in Orlando) with not a whole history, which is pretty ture. I feel it too when I am away from New York which does have some history but nothing like England.

But he says while he misses England, he really thinks of home being here because he is with me. So I do think he is happy. He loves the 500 channels of TV here.

[pax 0]

So, 6 weeks from today...well, you know.

Also, looks like two London grads have an AOS interview this week... Who could that be?