Mid Life

[hampster 0]

Mid-Life

Mid-life is when the growth of hair

on our legs slows down.

This gives us plenty of time

to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,

we have wingspans.

We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts,

we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked

in front of a mirror and you can

see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram

and you realize that this is the only time someone

will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream,

Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell

and those will too.

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that

life throws us curves and we're sitting

on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all,

beeper-wearing teenager and think:

For this I have stretch marks?

In mid-life your memory starts to go.

In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake

now includes Legs By Rand McNally

more red and blue lines than an

accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...

You start pondering thebig" questions.

What is life? Why am I here?

How much Healthy Choice ice cream

can I eat before it's no longer

a healthy choice?

Edited January 27, 2007 by hampster

[hampster 0]

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...

You start pondering the big questions.

What is life?

Why am I here?

How much Healthy Choice ice cream,

can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

Edited January 28, 2007 by hampster

[Reba 2]

I wonder, if I sit on my Bowflex while I eat a pint of Healthy Choice, do I have to count those calories?

[hampster 0]

I wonder, if I sit on my Bowflex while I eat a pint of Healthy Choice, do I have to count those calories?

Well since you are eating healthy choice whilst sitting on your Bowflex...

Only count Half the Calories