Married in Philippines, divorced in USA, now want to get K-1

[d3adc0d3 186]

Typically they do tend to be rather jealous, in particular of ex wives. I've been divorced from my first wife for many years, and either married or in a relationship with my second wife, a filipina, for over ten years, and she's still jealous of the first. I know another filipina that has been married to an American over 20 years, and she's still jealous of his first wife. Its funny, intellectually they both know they're secure, but something inside them seems to keep the emotional insecurity alive.

Most women I know would be jealous of their husband's exes. I know I'm jealous of mine.

[Rob Corvette 13]

I understand what everyone is saying about ex-wives and new spouses, and while I intend to help her until she is on her feet, once the divorce is final, she will need to get her own place instead of my guest bedroom. Prior to moving out of the house, she denied any cheating on me, even though she was out bar hopping with a few really loose Filipinas who openly said that since their older husbands could no longer pleasure them, that it was ok to go out with other men as long as they returned home to their husbands after. Obviously, that was not acceptable to me, and led to constant argument, and her eventually moving out. She said that she considered us "separated", so in her mind, it was ok to have sex with another man, but the court saw it much differently, and called it adultery as we were not "legally separated", as the court had not ruled on that yet. She insists that I was too controlling, although all I ever did was try to offer her advice on where she wanted to work, and what type of places a mother of a young son should be going with her girlfriends until all hours of the night.

Even if I believe her in that she insists she was not cheating on me, she surely was headed that way, and wanted her freedom from me. She got it, and now she sees that I was actually a great husband, and has talked about us staying together and starting over, but for me, that ship has sailed. I could never trust her again, and she is easily led by what other Filipinas say to sway her away from me. I wish her well, and hope that one day she can find happiness with a good man who won't beat her or hurt her. I would never raise my hand to a woman for any reason, that is not the way I was raised, but unfortunately, a lot of younger guys will beat the Hell out of a girl if she does not do what they tell her to do...

Rob

[maynoc 0]

You have no legal issue in the Philippines filing either a K-1 or getting married again in the Philippines. Who divorces who, matters only to the Philippine citizen. It also does not matter if you were married in the Philippines, you're an American citizen, bound by American laws and you are considered divorced by the Philippine government even if the Philippine citizen filed for it. There was actually recently an attempt in the Philippine congress to pass a law that would require foreign citizens to go through the same processes required of Philippine citizens, their thought was it was unfair to make Filipinos go through applying to have the divorce recognized by their courts and not foreigners, but it was correctly pointed out that the Philippines cannot pass laws to control the lives for foreign citizens in foreign countries.

You ex-wife on the other hand can never be considered divorced in the Philippines, because she filed for divorce while she was a Philippine citizen. Yes its strange, she's still married to you in the Philippines, but you are not married to her there.

Another strange thing about the marriage laws there. If she were to return to the Philippines, although she can't marry there she could be petitioned via a K-1 again and show her divorce decree as proof of not being married at the embassy. They'll even accept it at the CFO before she leaves.

" although she can't marry there she could be petitioned via a K-1 again and show her divorce decree as proof of not being married at the embassy" - this part is not correct. if she were petitioned via a K1, she would have to provide another current CENOMAR and that document would show she's still married in the Philippines and therefore ineligible for the K1 regardless of her US divorce.

Edited October 24, 2014 by maynoc

[goodgirl2013 0]

Im sorry for the situation! I just wish you could be more careful... even if you adore your child and the fact that she is the mother that doesnt mean you should be careless of yourself... she cheated, got pregnant, file for divorce, and lied.... you already suffer, paid five thousand dollars and a car... and risking yourself to be responsible for her, her expenses, more lies built by her and girlfriends, plus the fact that she is living in your house and can get rights on your property by doing so... dont loose your house over a extreme well intentioned feelings!!! Better pay her a hotel room or a room in other place, dont let her built a scam again... take her and her stuff to a hotel!!!! please dont be careless with your future...

[TheCaptain 67]

Oh my, can I have some of the cash from your back pocket while your at it.

Helping this woman is a very noble cause and it's understandable that you feel that you have an emotional attachment, but what happens when she gives birth. Does she have insurance? Does she have any financial backing to help her pay? How long does she stay with you after the child is born? Who pays for the child's essentials? How long is until she "gets on her feet"?

She is not going to be able to work for AT LEAST 3 or 4 years due to the need to care for the child. So that begins the next set of questions....

Who looks after the child? Who clothes the child? Who feeds the child?

How do you decide when she is "on her feet"?

The whole time this is going on she is quite happily taking your money, using your electricity, living the lifestyle she wants.

This is the same woman who pushed for DIVORCE against you, listened to her phillipino friends and wanted to "get rich" from you and if she had succeeded would have put you on the street without a care in the world, living the high life on your dime. I don't think that she would have the same compassion you are showing her.

Might sound harsh but I'm just putting things in perspective.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

I understand what everyone is saying about ex-wives and new spouses, and while I intend to help her until she is on her feet, once the divorce is final, she will need to get her own place instead of my guest bedroom. Prior to moving out of the house, she denied any cheating on me, even though she was out bar hopping with a few really loose Filipinas who openly said that since their older husbands could no longer pleasure them, that it was ok to go out with other men as long as they returned home to their husbands after. Obviously, that was not acceptable to me, and led to constant argument, and her eventually moving out. She said that she considered us "separated", so in her mind, it was ok to have sex with another man, but the court saw it much differently, and called it adultery as we were not "legally separated", as the court had not ruled on that yet. She insists that I was too controlling, although all I ever did was try to offer her advice on where she wanted to work, and what type of places a mother of a young son should be going with her girlfriends until all hours of the night.

Even if I believe her in that she insists she was not cheating on me, she surely was headed that way, and wanted her freedom from me. She got it, and now she sees that I was actually a great husband, and has talked about us staying together and starting over, but for me, that ship has sailed. I could never trust her again, and she is easily led by what other Filipinas say to sway her away from me. I wish her well, and hope that one day she can find happiness with a good man who won't beat her or hurt her. I would never raise my hand to a woman for any reason, that is not the way I was raised, but unfortunately, a lot of younger guys will beat the Hell out of a girl if she does not do what they tell her to do...

Rob

OMG Man! She's staying in your guest room!? If I were you would would kick her a** to the curb. Of course I guess you have to kiss her ### until the divorce is final? And the on-line dating thing? Not sure about Cherry Blossoms but DIA worked for me. You just gotta know how to weed out the scammers. If they ask for money unfriend them immediately and block them. You gotta be ruthless and keep a list of 10 or so going until you "know" you've found the right one. Good luck and God Bless

P.S. Kick that beeatch to the curb the minute she sings the divorce papers and the judge signes the final divorce decree.

[icv21 110]

I would get this woman out the house as soon as possible like other people say here. She is going to try to manipulate you to have stability until she finds another man again. People NEVER change.

You are a very kind person, don't let her fool you again, I really feel sad reading everything you wrote. You need to find someone who does the same things you do for people. Not someone taking advantage. Someone who loves you unconditionally and someone who you will never be worried about if goes to eat outside with friends.

She would have took everything from you if she could with the help of her friends!!! She would have keep denying she had relations if she was never got pregnant.... Liars far away always. You gave her a car, money... She would have took all she could!!! Forgive but don't forget.

While she is around she knows she still has a chance, and she will try again and again.

Meet someone new, start a new life be HAPPY, loved and taked care of.

You deserve it you are one of a kind and a good man!

I wish you all the best

[Andy&Jiezel 0]

Best advice that I could give you is don't rush into another mistake. Especially when you still have all that drama in your current situation. How is finding another wife going to improve your situation?

Think of it from the woman's (not your ex) perspective. What if she wants to have children? Do you think it will be easy for her to come into an instant family and also deal with your ex?

You really need to consider all of these things and not let your emotions make bad decisions for you. In addition from what I read from some of the replies is that you are also at a high risk of being scammed.

Think with your brain not your heart.

[danver 15]

I feel sorry for you. You seems to be a good man .i have ex pinay friends who loves to go bar hoppingg and all of them are now x's of their man who brought them here. It is not a good idea of u letting her stay n your house. I am sure she has hidden agenda so pls.be very careful. I am glad i get to choose my friends .good luck.

[MAXX1 8]

I have many friends with "Filapina Fiance" at one time or another. How many times have you gone to Western Union and how many of her brothers have had broken legs and father is ill and cat has a tail problem, etc?

[jyaku 138]

You want to get married, just be sure your future wife is wife material, not a "I not like think so much, I just like good time".

How do you get sure of that, you live with her long enough to make sure she's not faking.. it's very easy to fake a week, a month, but in a few months you'll see cracks start appearing.

Ignore this and look through rose tinted glasses at your own peril.

[Caryh 5,206]

" although she can't marry there she could be petitioned via a K-1 again and show her divorce decree as proof of not being married at the embassy" - this part is not correct. if she were petitioned via a K1, she would have to provide another current CENOMAR and that document would show she's still married in the Philippines and therefore ineligible for the K1 regardless of her US divorce.

Actually many Filipina have done just that, and reported about it here. The CEMAR shows them as married, the divorce papers from the USA show them as divorced which is good enough for USEM. They do not need to go through the process of getting the divorce recognized in the Philippines. I once thought they would have the same issue, but the experiences of those that have gone through it have shown they can get a K-1 again. The K-1 applicant needs to be eligible to get married in the USA, not the Philippines. If they needed to be eligible to be married in the Philippines, there would be no same sex K-1's.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Caryh

[crystalgayleC 0]

ouch! me and my fiance had met on CB. well he was been victimized too before we've met there. since then we started chatting on YM and phone calls and we've been together for almost 6yrs.