Ways To Terrify A Telemarketer!

[hampster 0]

Ways To Terrify A Telemarketer!

1.Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY,

because you want to write EVERY WORD down

2.Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon,

playing a joke.

"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously,

Leon, how's your Momma?"

3.Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment

and ask them if they will give you their

HOME phone number so you can call them back.

When the telemarketer explains that they

cannot give out their HOME number,

you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?"

The telemarketer will agree and you say,

Now you know how I feel!

Say good bye and hang up.

4.After the telemarketer gives their spiel,

ask him/her to marry you.

When they get all flustered,

tell them that you could not just give

our credit card number to a complete stranger.

5.Tell the telemarketer you are

on home incarceration

and ask if they could bring you

a case of beer and some chips.

6.If they want to loan you money,

tell them you just filed for bankruptcy

and you could sure use some money.

7.If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in a SINISTER voice ,

I don't have any friends.... would you be my friend?"

8.Cry out in surprise,

Judy! Is that you?

Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?

Hopefully, this will give Judy

a few brief moments of pause as she tries

to figure out where the hell

she could know you from.

9.If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

ask them to spell their name.

Then ask them to spell the company name.

Then ask them where it is located.

Continue asking them personal questions

or questions about their company

for as long as necessary.

10.When they ask "How are you today?

Tell them! I'm so glad you asked because

no one these days seems to care,

and I have all these problems;

my arthritis is acting up,

my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...

Edited January 27, 2007 by hampster

[patiently_waiting 0]

LOL.

[Perseverance 1]

hee hee

[DeadPoolX 9]

I just tell them "I can't talk right now because I'm shaving the cat." That gets them off the phone in a hurry!

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

A friend just says "hold on. Someone is at the door and puts the phone down" How long will they hold?

[Fandango 1,440]

#3 was from Seinfeld

[LuzyC 0]

[natty bumppo 297]

Nice list.

Or .... simply say ...

I'm sorry to tell you this but ... please don't call again ... please confirm what I just stated ... and have a wonderful day ... bye.

[Henia 11]

Ways To Terrify A Telemarketer!

1.Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY,

because you want to write EVERY WORD down

2.Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon,

playing a joke.

"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously,

Leon, how's your Momma?"

3.Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment

and ask them if they will give you their

HOME phone number so you can call them back.

When the telemarketer explains that they

cannot give out their HOME number,

you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?"

The telemarketer will agree and you say,

Now you know how I feel!

Say good bye and hang up.

4.After the telemarketer gives their spiel,

ask him/her to marry you.

When they get all flustered,

tell them that you could not just give

our credit card number to a complete stranger.

5.Tell the telemarketer you are

on home incarceration

and ask if they could bring you

a case of beer and some chips.

6.If they want to loan you money,

tell them you just filed for bankruptcy

and you could sure use some money.

7.If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in a SINISTER voice ,

I don't have any friends.... would you be my friend?"

8.Cry out in surprise,

Judy! Is that you?

Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?

Hopefully, this will give Judy

a few brief moments of pause as she tries

to figure out where the hell

she could know you from.

9.If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

ask them to spell their name.

Then ask them to spell the company name.

Then ask them where it is located.

Continue asking them personal questions

or questions about their company

for as long as necessary.

10.When they ask "How are you today?

Tell them! I'm so glad you asked because

no one these days seems to care,

and I have all these problems;

my arthritis is acting up,

my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...

[eric&gen 0]

I will tell the telemarketer to fock off and not call my number again lol Im very rude to them i sometimes screw with them too lol.

[wong_watkins 1]

What about just hang up?

They're just making a living..

[Ladylethal 12]

At my house my brothers have used the "can I call you back?" line and it scared the ###### out of the telemarketer.

And yes, they are just doing what they're told but sometimes they go overboard and it annoys the heck out of me.

Only one thing is worst that telemarketers. Trying to cancel a phone line, internet account, etc.

[Savanphil 3]

I always tell them that "I already have" whatever they are selling.....they know i'm lying, but what can they say

[Fandango 1,440]

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx