221 - G - Need Help everyone

[Masenko 36]

Hi All

My fiancé went for her interview today and everything went good, but they gave her the 221g saying they want to see proof of "strained" relationship.

Now as confusing that sounds, let me provide the back story.

We met online and then started talking over the phone since June 2013, we really liked each other and so before we gave in we decided to meet in London. Spend five days and we were good to go. Now to clarify, we are indian and are parents are very traditional. We wanted to meet each other first in person and decide if we liked each other. We then told our parents and we all met again in India early Oct 2013. Her parents were on board and my parents weren't. They were against it due to caste difference. This caused a major rift between me and her for almost a month, where I kept trying to convince my parents and she was running out of patience. She was finishing school in London at that point and the month of Oct and Nov were tough for us, where I couldn't give a concrete answer and she wasn't sure if she wanted to wait around and also go in a family where her inlaws really didn't like her.

Here is the twist, end of November she applied for a tourist visa for the USA, interview date was Dec 3rd, 2014. She had just come back from finishing her school and her mum wanted to take her for vacation to the states. Well they denied her, gave the visa to the mum.

In the mean time we had stopped talking briefly as I was struggling with my parents to convince them, but kept hitting a wall. Those few weeks of not talking, I realized I was going to lose the best thing that happened to me and I decided to take a stand for me and her without my parents blessing. The realization I had was mid December (I guess it was the holidays), I told her, she didn't buy it. She said she really does love me, and its been hard, but doesn't trust my actions. I hence said I would come there and get engaged with her if she and her parents were onboard.

I flew out on new years and we got engaged on Jan 7th, 2014.

Here is what happened at the interview today. The Consulate officer was fine with everything, but says that why did she apply for a visitors visa in that time period (December 3rd, 2013). He thinks it was a ploy to circumvent the system and come to the states with the intention to get married. I understand very well that it looks bad, but it isn't the truth.

He hasn't denied us, but has asked to show evidence of a strained relationship in that time frame (Oct - Dec 2013). This is where it gets tough as all the conversations we had were on phone, a few whatsapp messages and that's it. We are confused on how to "think out of the box" to show evidence of this time frame if it was all over the phone. She explained this to the CO and he didn't budge.

I can request affidavits from friends (hers and mine), who knew about our tough time and can attest to it. I need some suggestions from all of you. Any help, any advise is welcomed. Thanks and please ask to clarify anything.

[AnnaMaria 68]

I think the strongest evidence would be from your family members who were causing you these problems in the first place, who better than to prove the strain better than those that caused it?

I don't know where they stand now, but some sworn affidavits from them and how they feel about everything sure would help your case.

[team_gn 1]

Wow, this is truly dumb. Your approval is being delayed because you can't prove that you spent enough time fighting with each other. I would have thought it would be the opposite...

Anyway, I agree with affidavits from the family members who object. Let them tell exactly where they stand on your relationship and don't spare any feelings.

Also, if the two of you weren't speaking to each other as much, perhaps show a lack of communication during this period? For example, if you went from emailing, Skyping, whatever, twice per day down to once per week or once every few days, it would show a change in your pattern. Submit communication proof before, during, and after this period for comparison. If you do phone records show lots of 5-10 min phone calls (which is how people fight) instead of fewer 1 1/2 hour phone calls (which is how people in love communicate).

Also point out that you two were not getting along Dec 3 when she interviewed for the visitor visa, so you wouldn't have married her anyway at that point (statement from you, plus statement from your family to support this.)

Did you make any comments in social media which would have reflected these hard times (consistently negative status updates, comments that allude to the situation, etc)? While not direct evidence, it could all add up to show relationship problems. If she has any of this information, perhaps she can submit too.

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth. Good luck and please let us know what happens.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I think the word they used was sustained which with interview nerves might have sounded like strained.