Did I make the right choice?

[Tina and Johan 206]

This is extremely concerning. Surely, you had reservations before he got here, but hoped it would change before his arrival?? I can't see it developing after the fact. Remember, he gave up all to move here. As cynical as this sounds, when my husband was still my fiance and planning his move, we discussed the "What ifs" of our relationship, and agreed that if we didn't work out, I would still agree to support him and help him until he was able to stand on his own here. It's such a gamble, relocating for someone else. What kind of person would I be if I went through this whole process, he moved over, and then I said, "oh, I changed my mind." What a betrayal! I feel terrible for you. I hope you get the counseling you need. Even if this isn't the one, I hope you find a relationship that you're willing to give your all for.

[R&S13 7]

Hello all - thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my post. Just an update - after going through an extremely difficult time for a week, I sat down with him one evening after work and told him exactly what was bothering me and he did the same. I explained how I felt smothered and needed my space and he respected my perspective of things. Long story short, things are a million times better than what they were before. By nature I am an independent woman and always have been - I am just thankful to God that things are beginning to work out. I don't feel repulsed by him trying to get intimate with me, or feel uncomfortable with him being around my family, etc. Things are looking up - It wasn't easy for me to make this adjustment... and I know it was difficult for him too. Fortunately, God has blessed me with the patience and understanding that I needed so badly.

Hopefully my post can help out anyone else who may be in the same predicament.

[Ontarkie 14,226]

That is great news, keep communicating.

Good luck!

[NikLR 13,227]

The biggest part of any relationship is communication so I'm also happy you're communicating!

[TBoneTX 45,304]

Ditto the above. Glad to hear it.

[R&S13 7]

Thank you guys!!!

[rlogan 2,036]

I've never seen such an about-face like this before.

"Hate" and "repulsed" are such strong words that to move from them to a "million times better" sounds to me like the language being used is overly dramatic instead of accurate. This needs some explanation here, if you really are trying to help others:

I explained how I felt smothered and needed my space and he respected my perspective of things.

Okay, so besides just telling him how you felt, what did you two decide to DO? Is he giving you alone-time, or what? Or was saying how you feel enough, and nothing has actually changed?