Support from the husband who signed i-864 and separation

[Ian H. 207]

After 5 years as an LPR, you are allowed to receive means tested benefits such as welfare, food stamps and medicaid. Some states offer medicaid if you have less than 5 years, also some states if not all, offer food stamps to minor LPR children. Not to mention that you could still make 125% of the poverty level and qualify for food stamps and medicaid. If they really wanted people not to receive these things, they would make the poverty level 150%, I find it very peculiar that they only require 125%.

[raven52 233]

Go to all benefits offices and tell them you are starving, get food stamps.,.,.,get some kind of finical assistance.,.,.,the government will come after him for the support, they are providing you!

Again, go to every benefit office you can find and apply for assistance.,.,.,him refusing you to sign a divorce, and staying with Mommy and Daddy, sounds like a "big baby".,.,.,.,,file for divorce, either here or in your country.,.,.,.,,.,

IN THE NEXT few days.,.,.,.,go to every assistance office you can find.,.,.,tell them you are abandoned and starving! He will have to pay for it.,..,.,.,or his parents!

[UnaMexicana 153]

Sent u a PM.

[Ian H. 207]

I highly doubt the government will come after him especially if he is broke. They just don't have the resources to enforce these kind of situations. Add to that the fact that in the event they get a judgment against him, they usually cannot enforce it since most of his income and assets would be exempt.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Go to all benefits offices and tell them you are starving, get food stamps.,.,.,get some kind of finical assistance.,.,.,the government will come after him for the support, they are providing you!

Again, go to every benefit office you can find and apply for assistance.,.,.,him refusing you to sign a divorce, and staying with Mommy and Daddy, sounds like a "big baby".,.,.,.,,file for divorce, either here or in your country.,.,.,.,,.,

IN THE NEXT few days.,.,.,.,go to every assistance office you can find.,.,.,tell them you are abandoned and starving! He will have to pay for it.,..,.,.,or his parents!

How very adult of you!

Agree with what the others are saying OP, you can go for citizenship and then you have a choice of where you can live. Good luck with getting the divorce, I hope everything works out for you.

[xmgirl 4]

Thank you' all for all the replies.

Msbau764:

My degree is in the Information Technology field. I know a lot of people would say that this is such a good field and that is very well paid and so on. But in my particular case it has been hard because I have applied to several jobs and these require experience in the US and alot. What I have been doing is updating my knowledge and trying to get more expertise chasing freelance projects in websites like Elance. But I have not had much luck and is going slow. My thinking about returning in Mexico is to be back in a teaching position and be in academia. I know the economy is bad and blah blah but even with a low salary things are super more cheap there than the HIGH cost living here. There I have my family who could happily help and support me emotionally and financially. I know also I can start my dream of pursuing more education. Here I see myself drowning while trying to make a living for myself, paying for rent, food and gas. May be I have been very picky about getting other types of jobs like doing more manual stuff.

Raven52 and also everybody else:

I really do not feel like applying to get that goverment assistance. I just see to many lies with these 'services' and too many corruption that I prefer to stay away from all of that.

The question about the i-864 was more about the feeling that my husband is legally responsible for supporting me so that I do not become a public charge to the goverment. With that form I just want to scream at him and his family that this is something he is legally responsible for under federal law....

Edited October 15, 2014 by xmgirl

[slangofoil 50]

The question about the i-864 was more about the feeling that my husband is legally responsible for supporting me so that I do not become a public charge to the goverment. With that form I just want to scream at him and his family that this is something he is legally responsible for under federal law....

You want a divorce, but you still want him to support you? Sounds like you want alimony, but that's not exactly how the affidavit of support works. It doesn't mean he has to pay for all of your living expenses indefinitely - just that he can be pursued by the government to repay any means-tested benefits you receive.

Good luck getting alimony from someone who has no job and lives with their parents. If he can't get his act together to get a job for his own sake, you wanting him to pay for your upkeep isn't going to be much of a reason to do it either.

[bronco37 16]

After 5 years as an LPR, you are allowed to receive means tested benefits such as welfare, food stamps and medicaid. Some states offer medicaid if you have less than 5 years, also some states if not all, offer food stamps to minor LPR children. Not to mention that you could still make 125% of the poverty level and qualify for food stamps and medicaid. If they really wanted people not to receive these things, they would make the poverty level 150%, I find it very peculiar that they only require 125%.

Sorry, but, the portion bolded is not true for all states. I can vouch that for Maryland. To qualify for Medicaid, you need to have SSI and to have SSI, you need to be a citizen. In MD, they do not give you any of these benefits except food stamps and CHIP without you being a citizen. Tried that myself, and have rejection letter from Social security.

Lot of times people refer to medicaid but, actually mean emergency medical assistance or emergency medicaid. Even the DSS folks refer to this relief as medicaid. Emergency medical assistance is not a mean tested benefit.

And to the moron who is advising the OP to seek benefits everywhere to get back at her STBX, go to hell. OP will land in more trouble than what she is in for. In most cases, she will not qualify and if they catch her lying on any of these papers and finds discrepancies anywhere, she will be in Govt. hell. Just get a divorce and move on. Life hands you a lemon, try to make a lemonade.

[xmgirl 4]

Slangofoil:

Thank you for your reply. I just feel very unfair of my situation of marrying this as they said before so called momas boy. I do not want him to support me. Was not sure exactly what the I-864 meant exactly. I just feel if I have married someone of my background (mexican, etc) would have been a loyal husband without running away as a child.

Edited October 15, 2014 by xmgirl

[slangofoil 50]

There are plenty of deadbeats from all cultures. Just learn from it and move on, considering carefully before you abandon your green card and move back to Mexico. Like others said, I'd get the US citizenship before leaving. You never know when you might want to come back.

[bronco37 16]

I just feel if I have married someone of my background (mexican, etc) would have been a loyal husband without running away as a child.

Believe me, it's just your fate, race and culture have very little to do with it.

My degree is in the Information Technology field. I know a lot of people would say that this is such a good field and that is very well paid and so on. But in my particular case it has been hard because I have applied to several jobs and these require experience in the US and alot.

I really do not feel like applying to get that goverment assistance. I just see to many lies with these 'services' and too many corruption that I prefer to stay away from all of that.

The question about the i-864 was more about the feeling that my husband is legally responsible for supporting me so that I do not become a public charge to the goverment. With that form I just want to scream at him and his family that this is something he is legally responsible for under federal law....

IT job is still one of the highest paid jobs in the USA. You will do fairly well in Mexico. I know many people who work in IT fields in Mexico. In fact, I find them more jubiliant than many Americans working here in USA. I think they live in less stress and surrounded by family and friends.

I appreciate that you do not want Govt. assistance and why should you? I have gone through that route and, you are right, there are many scams and without becoming a citizen, you will not fair well there. And if you change states for job, chances are you will have to reapply for those benefits under that state's laws and you may not even qualify.

Honestly, I know screaming may relieve some of that frustration but, in the end, won't net you anything whatsoever. Losers will remain losers, winners will always prevail. Be a winner.

[msbau764 245]

Slangofoil:

Thank you for your reply. I just feel very unfair of my situation of marrying this as they said before so called momas boy. I do not want him to support me. Was not sure exactly what the I-864 meant exactly. I just feel if I have married someone of my background (mexican, etc) would have been a loyal husband without running away as a child.

uh. Mexicans can be disloyal as well. Have seen first hand. Not sure where you are coming from with that comment. In terms of job experience, you may need to apply to entry-level IT jobs. They won't pay as much, but that would be the way to get the year or two of experience to be marketable. Not to mention, you should have translatable experience in your home country. In the US, it is much easier to get a job if you already have one, regardless of what it is. By being unemployed, in a sense, your status is perpetuated by not being employed. It is weird, but that is the way it works. Also, by being a USC, you would be able to sponsor someone in your family to come to the States if you so wish. Could be another option.

[d3adc0d3 186]

Thank you all for all the replies.

Msbau764:

My degree is in the Information Technology field. I know a lot of people would say that this is such a good field [to work in] and that is very well paid and so on, etc. ButHowever, in my particular case it has been hard, because I have applied to several jobs and thesewhich require extensive experience in the US and alot. What I have been doing is updating my knowledge and trying to get more expertise chasing freelance projects invia websites like Elance.; howeverBut I have not had much luck and it is going slow. My thinkingthoughts about returning into Mexico is to be backfocused on returning to in a teaching position and be in academia. I knowunderstand that the economy is bad and blah blahwhatnot, buthowever, evendespite with athe low salaryies in Mexico things are super more cheap there than the HIGH cost living herethe cost of living is drastically lower too. ThereIn Mexico I [also] have my family who couldwould happily help and support me emotionally and financially. I know also [know that] I can start my dream of pursuing moreadditional education. Here, I see myself drowning while trying to make a living for myself,; paying for rent, food and gas. May bePerhaps I have been very picky about getting other types of jobs like doing more manual stuffother opportunities not in my field.

Raven52 and also everybody else:

I really do not feel like applying to get that govermentgovernment assistance. I just see too many lies with these 'services' and too manymuch corruption thatwhich I prefer to stay away from all of that.

The question about the i-864 was more about the directed towards feeling that my husband is legally responsible for supporting me so that I do not becometo avoid becoming a public charge toof the govermentgovernment.; Wwith that form I just want to scream at him and his family that this is something he is legally responsible for under federal law....

Notes: Semicolons are used to combine two related, but different subjects into one sentence, so you don't have two very short and broken sentences. "But" means on the contrary or in exception of; "however" can also mean "by whatever means, condition or state". In some instances I changed the wording to be more concise, clear, and to the point. Being too wordy, especially in IT can be considered a negative. In other instances, I removed words which were unnecessary and would be considered incorrectly placed, or corrected spelling mistakes. Your English is still better than some native English speakers, so don't be discouraged! But potential employers notice these things!

I'm in IT, and not all jobs want you to be experienced, you just need to be less picky. They take new college graduates all the time.

I would recommend going to the Unemployment Office and signing up for some free classes. They have some for how to interview, and write a resume (again... FREE). This is a very particular thing, as in the US presentation is key. I have never had an issue finding work, even when I was just out of college, and I have helped many new graduates find work as well. Working on your written language skills in English would help as well. This is not a dig or an insult. My husband is from Argentina, and I cannot for the life of me speak or write in Spanish, so I know how hard it is to learn a whole new language (especially one as confusing as English!). However, when composing emails, writing documentation, or troubleshooting guides a strong grasp of English grammar, spelling, and punctuation will make you an even better candidate. I corrected your response not to be snide or rude, but to show you what an employer would see if you wrote to them in a similar manner, or your resume was presented in a similar manner. This is a forum and I'm sure you present yourself much more professionally with clients and potential employers, however, there may be things you were unaware of, which may only help you in the long run! This is not an insult, just trying to help!

In addition ask your eLance clients if you can use them a US based employer reference, I have had only one say I cannot. Link your eLance account on your resume as well, and if you have an IT based blogs, you run - link them. LinkedIn is a valuable resource for IT professionals too. I don't have one, but I'm a senior developer, so I don't need one; my experience speaks for itself. Robert Half International is a temp agency (short and long term contracts), which you should submit your resume to them. Also post your resume on monster.com and careerbuilder.com. Many recruiters looking for contract and permanent employees look here for potential candidates. I'd recommend doing that after your resume has been reviewed. Most of the jobs I found were because I had a resume posted on one of those sites and they needed my skill set.

With a 4 year degree, you could easily apply for a job at a community college teaching IT based classes, and they're always looking for more professors. It'll give you relevant work experience, and the pay is usually decent. In addition you're multilingual, so you could also consider teaching Spanish to English speakers, and English to Spanish speakers, as well as offer the classes in Spanish to those who are not yet fluent in English (a valuable asset to any community college).

A citizenship would be a very valuable thing, indeed. You never know what will happen 10 years down the road. Things in Mexico may go downhill and you want to bring your family to the US where it's safer and more stable. Having that citizenship in your back pocket could make a very big difference. If anything, get the citizenship and then move back! Better safe than sorry, I always say!

In regards to the "lies" with government benefits... I can understand why you'd want to avoid them, but something is better than nothing, and you do qualify, as an LPR to get them so long as you fall within the income guidelines. It will help you get on your feet while you get your citizenship, and you've paid it forward in taxes while working the last few years. Just don't stay on it any longer than absolutely necessary. My husband's pride would never let him take assistance, but I tell him all the time... pride does nothing for you when you're bones in the ground.

Edited October 15, 2014 by d3adc0d3

[xmgirl 4]

d3adc0d3:

Thanks for correcting my sentences. Right know I just do not feel very well. Living here, I also have tried to improve my english by taking TOEFL classes and attending university-level lectures. In fact I have been chosing to live near a very well recognized university here. But as I said right now I wished I could have the emotional support I need. My whole family is in Mexico. I came to this country and left everything thinking I was going to build a family and my own nest. It is hard to find yourself alone in a country where you do not really belong struggling with all of these different issues. But anyways I know I need to keep moving forward and make final decisions...

[mymarriagejourney 113]

We have all said it many times, but please do get your citizenship first and then go home to your family to get on your feet again.