Same-sex couple, looking to marry. Where to begin?

[zilchfox 296]

Hi everyone!

So my SO and I are just starting to get things rolling. Maybe I should start off with story-time, hm? I'm from Canada, he's from the US.

--- Skip this section if you don't wanna read the dumb sappy story ---

Quite a few years ago (2010), we met on an art-based website (at the time I didn't draw, but had an appreciation for art) and he is/was an artist. We started chatting about all sorts of various things and added each other on MSN (yeah, so old right?) and we eventually became pretty close friends. I had a boyfriend (of 6 years at the time), as did he (of around 3 years). I was living with mine as we met locally, and his was living in California (he lives in Georgia). Let's just say that both of our relationships were going kinda sour, so we were kinda drawn to each other. One night he was kinda drunk from a Halloween party and told me that he loved me (I remember the exact date of the first time he ever said that to me, 10/30/2010), and naturally I told him that I loved him, too. Fast-forward to March 2011 is the first time I fly out to meet him. I was still with my then-boyfriend at the time, but I left him behind for this trip (he was pretty pissed about that, but whatever) and met up with my now-fiance. We got together, had some fun doing all sorts of things, and at this point we were very...couple-y. There was also a convention that we were both interested in going to in March, and thus it has been tradition to visit in March every single year because of this. I also visited in July 2011, March 2012, March 2013, March 2014, and I'm actually here right now, October 2014, simply visiting him. He's actually at work right now, so I'm just at his house bored, writing this post. He had also visited me, but not nearly as many times, but perhaps for the same amount of time. Basically our timeline of visits to each other were as such:

- March 2011 (Me to USA, 2 weeks)

- July 2011 (Me to USA, 2 weeks)

- March 2012 (Me to USA, 2 weeks)

- A trip was planned for August of 2012, but due to work reasons I was unable to go

- March 2013 (Me to USA, 2 weeks)

- May 2013 (Him to Canada, 2 weeks)

- January 2014 (Him to Canada, 6 week-long stay as he was in between school and a job and had a bunch of free time off. I worked most of this but it was nice to come home to him after a hard day's work, though!) I also asked him to marry me during a road trip this visit to Banff AB, to which he said "Yes"! So that means we're engaged!

- March 2014 (Me to USA, 2 weeks)

- October 2014 (Me to USA, 2 weeks) I'm here right now writing this post

So as you can see, we're kinda crazy for each other. Who was visiting who didn't really matter too much, depended on each other's circumstances back at home I suppose. We just wanted to be together.

Now despite us being "engaged", I've only told the US border guys that I was visiting a "friend", because I feel like I would be discriminated against for being in a same-sex relationship... I really hope that doesn't screw things over for us, but we have been going home as agreed and promised, obviously, as we do have to go back to our jobs and what-not.

--- End sappiness here ---

Cold hard facts:

- He makes around $36,000/year, he's paid salary, however I don't believe he has any income tax returns yet as he only started this job back in February. If we're not mistaken, this is ample enough for sponsorship. I also make around the same amount, however I believe what I make is actually irrelevant as I'm the one that will be moving to the U.S.

- My job can most likely transfer me to a location that's nearby (my company is global, I work at Apple).

- I have a car that I've financed through a bank and I'm making monthly payments on it. It's not expected to be paid off until 2018, but I guess my bank doesn't care if I bring the car down here, as long as I continue making payments. How is this going to affect anything?

- We are confused on what to do exactly, what forms are needed, how things are with procedure, etc. Like, if I come down to marry, does that mean I have to MOVE, or do I need to go back to Canada to get my stuff and then move after-the-fact?

I was recommended to this site by a friend who had moved to California from Italy in the exact same scenario (same-sex). Thank you all! I plan to be here on this site for quite some time.

If only things were a lot more simple. Love can be a pain in the ###, legally.

[Ontarkie 14,557]

~~Moved to What Visa Do I Need - Family Based Immigration, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures - As the OP is weighing their options.~~

Welcome to VJ!

Did I read your notes right? You are in the US right now? This may open a 3rd option for you if you had no intentions on staying.

Edited October 10, 2014 by Ontarkie

[zilchfox 296]

~~Moved to What Visa Do I Need - Family Based Immigration, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures - As the OP is weighing their options.~~

Welcome to VJ!

Did I read your notes right? You are in the US right now? This may open a 3rd option for you if you had no intentions on staying.

Hi!

Yes, I am in the US right now, however I will be going back home on the 17th. I have no intentions on staying during this trip. Thanks for the warm welcome.

[Cody and Daisy 374]

ANGRY- just made a big ### post, replying to so much of what you said.

Posted it, and because it was moved. it was deleted because I didn't have permission to post...

So let me try again.....

[Ontarkie 14,557]

ANGRY- just made a big ### post, replying to so much of what you said.

Posted it, and because it was moved. it was deleted because I didn't have permission to post...

So let me try again.....

Oh I hate that sorry.

[Cody and Daisy 374]

Cold hard facts:

- He makes around $36,000/year, he's paid salary, however I don't believe he has any income tax returns yet as he only started this job back in February. If we're not mistaken, this is ample enough for sponsorship. I also make around the same amount, however I believe what I make is actually irrelevant as I'm the one that will be moving to the U.S.

- My job can most likely transfer me to a location that's nearby (my company is global, I work at Apple).

- I have a car that I've financed through a bank and I'm making monthly payments on it. It's not expected to be paid off until 2018, but I guess my bank doesn't care if I bring the car down here, as long as I continue making payments. How is this going to affect anything?

- We are confused on what to do exactly, what forms are needed, how things are with procedure, etc. Like, if I come down to marry, does that mean I have to MOVE, or do I need to go back to Canada to get my stuff and then move after-the-fact?

I was recommended to this site by a friend who had moved to California from Italy in the exact same scenario (same-sex). Thank you all! I plan to be here on this site for quite some time.

If only things were a lot more simple. Love can be a pain in the ###, legally.

Hi and welcome to the forum.. (for a second time)

Disregard the fact you are a same sex couple. It should have NO baring on your legit relationship. You guys have visited each other a lot. It really HELPS!

Also, never lie to border control. That can come round to bite you in the ###.. and not in a good way.

K1 petition information- http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/300-general-k1-guides-and-info/

K1 guides and info-http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/300-general-k1-guides-and-info/

K1 guide for Vancouver- http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/347776-canada-immigration-and-k1-guide-for-vancouver/

K1 guide for Montreal- http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/327503-canada-immigration-k1-guide-for-montreal/

A K1 visa is a one time entry to the states that enables you to get married within 90 days of arriving. IF you don't get married, you do have to leave.

If you do get married, you cannot leave.

Once married you can apply for AOS(adjustment of status), EAD(authorization to work), and advance parole(permission to leave whilst AOS for your green card is pending)

Luckily he earns enough to not need a sponsor. So that's great. And if you have saving you can use those when applying for AOS. just not K1.

It's great your job can transfer you, but until you are holding your EAD, you cannot work. Means at least 3-4 months of doing nothing.. which is very boring.

Having stuff to pay back in Canada wont affect anything! I have so much in the UK still. But moving to the states is like a fresh start, You don't even have a credit rating, it's completely new.

So you need to decide how you want to be together, if this one is the right one for you.

Oh I hate that sorry.

Oh it's fine! I just already lost it once when I finished by accidentally refreshing the page, and then that happened and I just wanted to smash something

[Ontarkie 14,557]

Here is the guide if you want the spousal route http://www.visajourney.com/content/i130guide1

Now the only problem with this way is you must travel to Montreal for your interview and they tend to be slower. Vancouver will only do fiance visas but would be faster then Montreal for the same process. I want to say AB fiance visas are processed in Vancouver but I'm not 100% where the split is atm. Someone will come along and set that part straight.

I will add for you to check out the Canada forum http://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/93-canada/

[NikLR 13,232]

AB fiances go to Vancouver. Basically Manitoba and west go to Vancouver.

Just a note, if you get married first and then immigrate, the process is longer BUT you can work right away vs waiting for EAD. You'll have a green card as soon as you immigrate. (I also immigrated from Alberta.)

However the major thing I see there, is no matter how you move, you won't be able to import your car unless it's paid off.

[zilchfox 296]

Thanks for the responses, everyone!

@ Cody and Daisy: Oh I'll be sure to not tell them he's not just my "friend" anymore. X_X;;

So it seems the K1 will be the best option for us and will most likely be the route we will go (AOS and EAD, I don't plan on getting an advance parole as I should have everything I'll need with me).

That sucks about the car, but I should re-check with them. I did a search online and it seems to be inconsistent, and the teller did tell me it should be fine...but still... ARG!

And shoot, so Vancouver is where I'll have to go, huh? Too bad they don't have anything in Calgary. :X

By the way this is an amazing site, I've just been browsing it for hours trying to get as much info as possible!

[Ontarkie 14,557]

Thanks for the responses, everyone!

@ Cody and Daisy: Oh I'll be sure to not tell them he's not just my "friend" anymore. X_X;;

So it seems the K1 will be the best option for us and will most likely be the route we will go (AOS and EAD, I don't plan on getting an advance parole as I should have everything I'll need with me).

That sucks about the car, but I should re-check with them. I did a search online and it seems to be inconsistent, and the teller did tell me it should be fine...but still... ARG!

And shoot, so Vancouver is where I'll have to go, huh? Too bad they don't have anything in Calgary. :X

By the way this is an amazing site, I've just been browsing it for hours trying to get as much info as possible!

get the advance parole you never know if you will need it and it doesn't cost anything if you file it with the rest of the papers.