Marriage great/wife wonderful/both of us are very happy/how about some good news for a change

[JohnE 57]

Good morning everyone,

I do not know about the rest of you but it gets depressing seeing all the posts where someone was "scammed" so the love of their life can get that prized green card, they got married and the love of their life magically changed into someone they do not know, the love of their life left them and is now talking about VAWA, they found out the love of their life really had a secret lover back in their home country and once they got the green card they were going to bring that lover to the US, blah, blah, blah. I guess I could go on but I think you get the picture. Marriage is something real that real people that really know each other and want to spend the rest of their life together till death do us part so help us God desire to make that commitment. Finding someone on a web site and talking on Skype will find you in the first stage of love...Romantic Love. Hey I fully understand she/he and you experience the emotions of joy and excitement. The novelty of a new love leads you to think about your partner day and night, imagining all the possibilities of how this person can fulfill your deepest desires. You want to spend every moment of every day with your new partner in the bliss of newly discovered love. At this point (and I am sure each and everyone of you have heard) if it is too good to be true it usually is...but what a great feeling. You have to think about realistic and mature love and how the love of your life coming to the US will be thrown not only into a marriage but a complete different world from their home country.

okay I guess I will get off my soap box but I pray that everyone will step back and let common sense drive their decisions and not let emotions take control.

Elizabeth (my beautiful and wonderful wife) came from Mexico to work in the US on a TN visa. She is an accountant and we met while my company provided accounting consulting services for her company. There was zero conflict of interest when I asked her out to eat after we had known of each other almost a year. That night we sat and talked for over two hours and yes I was hooked (romantic love!). We dated for almost 6 years before I popped the question. Mind you we did not live together and simply dated. September 14th of 2013 we said I Do. I will be the first to say the whole visa process was very hard. Since we applied for a K1 visa she had to give up her TN visa and go back to Mexico City. The great news is she also had a tourist visa so was able to travel from Mexico to the US a number of times while we waited on USCIS as I also traveled from Atlanta to Mexico City a number of times. We made it through those times which made our relationship stronger. Our faith in God has been the foundation of our marriage. We have not waited for times to get bad (too late sometimes) before we try marriage counseling as we are doing that when the times are great. Our church offers a number of marriage seminars and counseling services which we have used. Those services have helped with the day to day life of being married and life itself. We do not have the perfect marriage but we are making every effort to keep our commitment to God until death do us part. Have we had a major disagreement picking out a color of paint when I painted the kitchen??? oh yes! But folks that is everyday life and what a joy it is to share it with your wife. I wanted to share some good news for a change and we will keep each and everyone of you in our prayers.

May God richly bless and keep you.

Elizabeth and John

[Ontarkie 14,321]

~~Moved to Moving to the US and Your New Life In America, from Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits - As the OP is not asking for advice/help concerning a immigration benefit.~~

[Mike and Yaoling 46]

The world needs more great stories like this! Thanks so much!

[ItsGonnaBeWorthIt 191]

amen! and awesome!!! enjoy your marriage!! and thanks for the fresh air

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Thanks for sharing your story, the thing about VJ is that the happy marriages that work out vanish into the ether because we don't need to post about them so it is only the sad stories where people need advice that we read. So sometimes it's easy to be cynical on here, especially when you read the effects of major family changes forum.

I wish you and your wife every happiness for the future

[Dohan 133]

That is so beautiful, thank you. I really, really needed that today. May you continue to be happy and blessed in your marriage!

[SweetOpossum 55]

Hello Johnny,

What a sweet story, thank you for sharing.

I am from Mexico too and the super handsome love of my life happens to be a US Citizen. He is the most amazing man I have ever met... I get emotional just typing it.

Thank you for showing this side of the coin. Not everyone has the "American dream" Tons of people in Mexico and other countries have pretty good lives, a career, family, a LIFE! Things that we actually give up to pursue love.

God bless your family and your life.

Good morning everyone,

I do not know about the rest of you but it gets depressing seeing all the posts where someone was "scammed" so the love of their life can get that prized green card, they got married and the love of their life magically changed into someone they do not know, the love of their life left them and is now talking about VAWA, they found out the love of their life really had a secret lover back in their home country and once they got the green card they were going to bring that lover to the US, blah, blah, blah. I guess I could go on but I think you get the picture. Marriage is something real that real people that really know each other and want to spend the rest of their life together till death do us part so help us God desire to make that commitment. Finding someone on a web site and talking on Skype will find you in the first stage of love...Romantic Love. Hey I fully understand she/he and you experience the emotions of joy and excitement. The novelty of a new love leads you to think about your partner day and night, imagining all the possibilities of how this person can fulfill your deepest desires. You want to spend every moment of every day with your new partner in the bliss of newly discovered love. At this point (and I am sure each and everyone of you have heard) if it is too good to be true it usually is...but what a great feeling. You have to think about realistic and mature love and how the love of your life coming to the US will be thrown not only into a marriage but a complete different world from their home country.

okay I guess I will get off my soap box but I pray that everyone will step back and let common sense drive their decisions and not let emotions take control.

Elizabeth (my beautiful and wonderful wife) came from Mexico to work in the US on a TN visa. She is an accountant and we met while my company provided accounting consulting services for her company. There was zero conflict of interest when I asked her out to eat after we had known of each other almost a year. That night we sat and talked for over two hours and yes I was hooked (romantic love!). We dated for almost 6 years before I popped the question. Mind you we did not live together and simply dated. September 14th of 2013 we said I Do. I will be the first to say the whole visa process was very hard. Since we applied for a K1 visa she had to give up her TN visa and go back to Mexico City. The great news is she also had a tourist visa so was able to travel from Mexico to the US a number of times while we waited on USCIS as I also traveled from Atlanta to Mexico City a number of times. We made it through those times which made our relationship stronger. Our faith in God has been the foundation of our marriage. We have not waited for times to get bad (too late sometimes) before we try marriage counseling as we are doing that when the times are great. Our church offers a number of marriage seminars and counseling services which we have used. Those services have helped with the day to day life of being married and life itself. We do not have the perfect marriage but we are making every effort to keep our commitment to God until death do us part. Have we had a major disagreement picking out a color of paint when I painted the kitchen??? oh yes! But folks that is everyday life and what a joy it is to share it with your wife. I wanted to share some good news for a change and we will keep each and everyone of you in our prayers.

May God richly bless and keep you.

Elizabeth and John

Edited October 10, 2014 by SweetOpossum

[JASM 19]

Good morning everyone,

I do not know about the rest of you but it gets depressing seeing all the posts where someone was "scammed" so the love of their life can get that prized green card, they got married and the love of their life magically changed into someone they do not know, the love of their life left them and is now talking about VAWA, they found out the love of their life really had a secret lover back in their home country and once they got the green card they were going to bring that lover to the US, blah, blah, blah. I guess I could go on but I think you get the picture. Marriage is something real that real people that really know each other and want to spend the rest of their life together till death do us part so help us God desire to make that commitment. Finding someone on a web site and talking on Skype will find you in the first stage of love...Romantic Love. Hey I fully understand she/he and you experience the emotions of joy and excitement. The novelty of a new love leads you to think about your partner day and night, imagining all the possibilities of how this person can fulfill your deepest desires. You want to spend every moment of every day with your new partner in the bliss of newly discovered love. At this point (and I am sure each and everyone of you have heard) if it is too good to be true it usually is...but what a great feeling. You have to think about realistic and mature love and how the love of your life coming to the US will be thrown not only into a marriage but a complete different world from their home country.

okay I guess I will get off my soap box but I pray that everyone will step back and let common sense drive their decisions and not let emotions take control.

Elizabeth (my beautiful and wonderful wife) came from Mexico to work in the US on a TN visa. She is an accountant and we met while my company provided accounting consulting services for her company. There was zero conflict of interest when I asked her out to eat after we had known of each other almost a year. That night we sat and talked for over two hours and yes I was hooked (romantic love!). We dated for almost 6 years before I popped the question. Mind you we did not live together and simply dated. September 14th of 2013 we said I Do. I will be the first to say the whole visa process was very hard. Since we applied for a K1 visa she had to give up her TN visa and go back to Mexico City. The great news is she also had a tourist visa so was able to travel from Mexico to the US a number of times while we waited on USCIS as I also traveled from Atlanta to Mexico City a number of times. We made it through those times which made our relationship stronger. Our faith in God has been the foundation of our marriage. We have not waited for times to get bad (too late sometimes) before we try marriage counseling as we are doing that when the times are great. Our church offers a number of marriage seminars and counseling services which we have used. Those services have helped with the day to day life of being married and life itself. We do not have the perfect marriage but we are making every effort to keep our commitment to God until death do us part. Have we had a major disagreement picking out a color of paint when I painted the kitchen??? oh yes! But folks that is everyday life and what a joy it is to share it with your wife. I wanted to share some good news for a change and we will keep each and everyone of you in our prayers.

May God richly bless and keep you.

Elizabeth and John

Hi JohnE,

Thank you for posting this. I must say, I have read several disappointing/sad stories on here so this is definitely encouraging and uplifting. My fiancé and I are both believers, we both have a relationship with God and that has been the foundation of our relationship. While this process is not easy and it comes with doubt and fear, we have put God in the forefront and are asking him to lead us. In addition, we do intend to go through marriage counseling with my pastor prior to our marriage. My husband and his family don't believe in divorce, and so it reassures me that even when the challenges come we will try to work through it rather than to run. Your posting comes as a reminder to me and I'm sure many others that we have to put God first in everything, allow him to lead and direct us, and then all things will work together in his own time. I pray God's continued blessings, peace, and joy over you and your family.

~SMJA~

[Kiv 32]

Nice Story. I wish your marriage continues that strong forever.

I have a pending family process that is why I still read VJ I think that if there are changes on the laws or times that immigration is taking I will find out here.

I knew VJ when my process was already started, I feel sorry about reading about so many stories that end bad because of abuse, fraud ( or because the OP feels like he/she has been a victim of fraud or abuse). There are many divorces in general but I have learned here that for international couples there is an extra difficulty to get together and an extra pain on separations. I am very happy that my husband never gave much importance to the fact that I got a green card and citizenship because of him, we have been focused always on other things. On our 10th anniversary we both agreed that it would be ok to go for another 10 years .

Edited October 10, 2014 by Kiv

[Kay&Jay 44]

My fiancé and I have known each other for 13 years now ,and I feel safe in my heart to trust someone I know enough.

[2ndMessiah 184]

Unfortunately we see the end result of when genuine people look for love in the wrong places.

The heart (we will call it the heart for the sake of decency) often overrules the head and there are a lot of people in this big bad world who are more than willing to take advantage.

Thank you for posting a positive post. I am glad your marriage is strong and you are in a trusting relationship.

[Snag 57]

My fiancé and I have known each other for 13 years now ,and I feel safe in my heart to trust someone I know enough.

Weren't you just saying in another thread you were suspicious of him cheating?

Im finding a hard time trusting people now,my fiancé is cheating on me as well I don't know what to do. He said that she is a business partner .

Sorry - not trying to be a drama-llama, but that's strange.

This thread was refreshing. Thanks, JohnE.

[Cathi 5,771]

My husband and I married 2 and a half years ago and he has been here in the US for 2 years October 12. We are very happy, we just bought our first home together, he has a really good job that he loves, my kids love him and life is great! So to all the nay sayers who we had no chance because I am 20 years older than my husband and from a totally different culture, kiss my behind. We couldn't be happier!!!

[rlogan 2,036]

Much of what people said on this forum was completely untrue for us.

For example, the claim that the "real work" begins when you are finally together after all the horrendous paperwork. Totally untrue for us. It was not only an enormous relief to be together, but mostly for us it was just nonstop love-making.

All the claims about life being so hard to adjust to with completely different cultures, fifty below zero here and no snow in the history of the Philippines... Totally untrue. It was an exciting adventure for both of us. Thrilling. To us, these were things to look forward to. Not things to cause strife.

The necessity of getting together with people from her own country - not true. It was years in fact before we spent any time at all with another Filipina/Americano couple. Dave & Roxy from this forum. Then they moved. We have had a total of ONE visit in the seven years we've been together besides that couple.

Same thing for me in the Philippines. I have no interest in meeting other Americanos. I have no interest in finding American food. I am mystified that people can't relish the culture they are marrying into. In fact, I specifically CHOSE a woman from a culture that prized the same things I wanted in a relationship and family. It is quite true that when I met her she was from the most densely populated city on earth and I was from nearly the least populated place on earth. People seemed to find all kinds of reasons why were weren't compatible like that. Age difference. Education. Environment, language, etc. They didn't seem to grasp we were both perfectly capable of determining compatibility of temperament, interests, goals, etc. and that they were just looking to manufacture reasons to frame us as incompatible.

The times we have had any strife can be counted on one hand. She lost her mind when she got pregnant the first time. lol. That's how we knew she was pregnant. So we did the test and sure enough - raging hormones from pregnancy. That's the only time in seven years that I told her she was out of line and the behavior unacceptable - she was off her rocker. The moment I said that it dawned on me she must be pregnant.

We don't believe in God, and in the beginning she was nominally Catholic while I was an atheist to the core. Had she been a fervent believer I would not have been interested in her. She had innate intelligence and an appreciation for science. So over time we've grown to have a lot of fun praying to God asking for super powers, a billion dollars, or whatever and the kids know that God does absolutely nothing for us. Plus he is a jerk for all the suffering he allows if he actually did exist. So sure, religion can be a uniting bond for some people and the lack of superstitions of any kind a bond for others.

So count us as an example where no - there isn't any strife to speak of and it is the best time of our lives for both of us. Hard to believe how good it is.

Edited October 11, 2014 by rlogan

[RC40 6]

You mean to tell me that you chose a woman based on a moral standard which is Catholic, and then married her and forced your religion on her? And now you continue to pray to a God you don't believe in for things that the bible says he won't grant anyway and use that as your proof he doesn't exist? Did you ever consider that maybe it's not God doing the bad things in the world, but us?

Much of what people said on this forum was completely untrue for us.

For example, the claim that the "real work" begins when you are finally together after all the horrendous paperwork. Totally untrue for us. It was not only an enormous relief to be together, but mostly for us it was just nonstop love-making.

All the claims about life being so hard to adjust to with completely different cultures, fifty below zero here and no snow in the history of the Philippines... Totally untrue. It was an exciting adventure for both of us. Thrilling. To us, these were things to look forward to. Not things to cause strife.

The necessity of getting together with people from her own country - not true. It was years in fact before we spent any time at all with another Filipina/Americano couple. Dave & Roxy from this forum. Then they moved. We have had a total of ONE visit in the seven years we've been together besides that couple.

Same thing for me in the Philippines. I have no interest in meeting other Americanos. I have no interest in finding American food. I am mystified that people can't relish the culture they are marrying into. In fact, I specifically CHOSE a woman from a culture that prized the same things I wanted in a relationship and family. It is quite true that when I met her she was from the most densely populated city on earth and I was from nearly the least populated place on earth. People seemed to find all kinds of reasons why were weren't compatible like that. Age difference. Education. Environment, language, etc. They didn't seem to grasp we were both perfectly capable of determining compatibility of temperament, interests, goals, etc. and that they were just looking to manufacture reasons to frame us as incompatible.

The times we have had any strife can be counted on one hand. She lost her mind when she got pregnant the first time. lol. That's how we knew she was pregnant. So we did the test and sure enough - raging hormones from pregnancy. That's the only time in seven years that I told her she was out of line and the behavior unacceptable - she was off her rocker. The moment I said that it dawned on me she must be pregnant.

We don't believe in God, and in the beginning she was nominally Catholic while I was an atheist to the core. Had she been a fervent believer I would not have been interested in her. She had innate intelligence and an appreciation for science. So over time we've grown to have a lot of fun praying to God asking for super powers, a billion dollars, or whatever and the kids know that God does absolutely nothing for us. Plus he is a jerk for all the suffering he allows if he actually did exist. So sure, religion can be a uniting bond for some people and the lack of superstitions of any kind a bond for others.

So count us as an example where no - there isn't any strife to speak of and it is the best time of our lives for both of us. Hard to believe how good it is.