Same-Sex K-1 Couple Needs Help With Marriage Planning

[Ralph and Patrick 2]

My same-sex fiance and I have just started the K-1 fiance process. Although our marriage is still several months in the future, it is something we would like to have some definite plans for before he goes to his embassy interview. Since neither of us have been married before, we need some ideas on how to proceed. We will be living in upstate New York after he gets his K-1 visa. My fiance is Catholic, so getting married in church is pretty much ruled out. We both have researched on the internet for answers on where to get married, but we are no further ahead than when we started. Where we have the ceremony is not important to us - we love each other, that's all that counts to us. Can we get married at the courthouse? We would love some insight from some of you who have been through this before.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

My same-sex fiance and I have just started the K-1 fiance process. Although our marriage is still several months in the future, it is something we would like to have some definite plans for before he goes to his embassy interview. Since neither of us have been married before, we need some ideas on how to proceed. We will be living in upstate New York after he gets his K-1 visa. My fiance is Catholic, so getting married in church is pretty much ruled out. We both have researched on the internet for answers on where to get married, but we are no further ahead than when we started. Where we have the ceremony is not important to us - we love each other, that's all that counts to us. Can we get married at the courthouse? We would love some insight from some of you who have been through this before.

Yes, sure. You can get married in the courthouse. Many people did including my husband and I. We did not believe in big fat wedding ceremony though we still have a plan near in the future to have one but more smaller and intimate with close friends and family.

Just a small note, make sure you both are apply a marriage license in the state that allow same sex couple. I heard NY is allow to do. Guess, I don't think you would've problem at all. Good luck!

[valverdeveslings 10]

Hi guys, there are some parishes that will perform same-sex weddings if you are interested in that.

Here's a link to gay friendly parishes all over the country:

http://www.newwaysministry.org/gfp.html

[ro&ry 5]

_{In same sex relationship also, yes you can marry in court house (religion is not an issue at all). We are from Texas so we travel all the way to Santa Fe, New Mexico just to get married and the ceremony in court house took only 15 minutes. They also provide us witnesses and they offer to be our photographer during exchanges of bows, so in all our it was stress free wedding. You can have the Wedding certificate in no time. No BS. Just have more than 3 or more original copy of your Marriage Certificate and if you could, take a lot of pictures. Enjoy and Congratulations,}

[InsanelyOne 8]

A marriage is a legal civil agreement between two people. It has nothing to do with religion/churches other than the fact that churches have been given the authority to preside over marriages. No need to get them involved if you don't want to. Go to any city/county clerks office to get your license. Any judge, city clerk, mayor, (and basically anyone that's been granted authority by the state) can officiate the ceremony.

I would suggest that you can get everything done at the clerks office. Bear in mind that in NY you have to wait 24 hours after getting the license before you can get married.

Good luck and congratulations!

[JohnR! 5,495]

My 2-cents: Go with a simple, quick city hall wedding because that is what your spouse will need to begin his AOS, once you receive the certified copy. Get the legal aspect taken care and out of the way first, so that you can sit and together decide on which type of religious ceremony or other celebration is appropriate for you.

Good luck and congrats!

My same-sex fiance and I have just started the K-1 fiance process. Although our marriage is still several months in the future, it is something we would like to have some definite plans for before he goes to his embassy interview. Since neither of us have been married before, we need some ideas on how to proceed. We will be living in upstate New York after he gets his K-1 visa. My fiance is Catholic, so getting married in church is pretty much ruled out. We both have researched on the internet for answers on where to get married, but we are no further ahead than when we started. Where we have the ceremony is not important to us - we love each other, that's all that counts to us. Can we get married at the courthouse? We would love some insight from some of you who have been through this before.

[Daison 0]

I would say do whatever you want, courthouse, or church. It's your wedding. Whatever you want would be just as great as it could be, don't compromise your wedding because Interview.

Make your decision, then proceed, for example, you could book a date on the church if you prefer a church wedding. Start to apply for marriage license, you can make a online appointment for marriage license. I knew NYC does that, not sure for other places.

Anyway you have to apply for marriage license first, then chose your wedding place, make it happen, then you will get your marriage certificate.

Congratulations! Nice to meet other same sex couple here !

[zilchfox 296]

I'm also part of a same-sex couple, and we haven't even started anything yet. This gives us a lot of confidence, thanks!

[Ralph and Patrick 2]

Thanks for all of the great ideas! We actually like the idea of having a civil marriage first, then have a religious ceremony at some point in the future when we are not under a deadline. We are so happy to have support of other VJ members.

[Mike-eeh and Odie 193]

If you dont wish to be married in a church or by a judge, your town mayor can also perform the ceremony. That is who married my wife and I before we had our "church" ceremony a few months later.

[d3adc0d3 186]

My same-sex fiance and I have just started the K-1 fiance process. Although our marriage is still several months in the future, it is something we would like to have some definite plans for before he goes to his embassy interview. Since neither of us have been married before, we need some ideas on how to proceed. We will be living in upstate New York after he gets his K-1 visa. My fiance is Catholic, so getting married in church is pretty much ruled out. We both have researched on the internet for answers on where to get married, but we are no further ahead than when we started. Where we have the ceremony is not important to us - we love each other, that's all that counts to us. Can we get married at the courthouse? We would love some insight from some of you who have been through this before.

Congratulations!

Upstate/Western NY is gorgeous and as a previous resident with family who lived and got married there I know lots about the area! There are some awesome quickie options! I'll put everything I know about weddings in here in case you were as clueless as I was when I started out!

While a church itself may not be an option, a chapel certainly is! Niagara Falls Wedding Chapel has several affordable options, for guest lists of all sizes (and wallets of all sizes).

Many people do not get married by the church anymore. Most often there are officiates, or justice of the peace, who are licensed to perform a civil wedding ceremony, which is honored by the state. Make sure you plan your wedding in a state that supports same sex marriage (such as NY) and when you write your letters of intent (if you haven't yet), you put down which state you intend to marry in.

The packages I previously mentioned are the following:

1. The Love Chapel (up to 36 guests) - $195
2. The Great Lakes Garden (outside, no limit) - $345
3. The Cathedral (up to 300 guests) - $545
4. Sky Chapel Helicopter - $895 (up to 3 guests) or $725 (no guests)
5. Location of Your Choice - Starting at $250
6. On the Brink (outside, no limit) - $345

In addition they have florists, photographers, and other options you can add to your package. You will need to book a reception hall, which are available in the hotels, or restaurants, in the area.

Another option (and a pet friendly one) is to rent a building in one of the many parks in Buffalo, NY. They're often affordable, and available (not to mention gorgeous)! Some of them are buildings, and if you're planning a summer wedding, they would be stunning. You can book the building and outside for the reception and ceremony. You'll need to book a caterer, rent chairs & tables, purchase or rent the decorations, and check with the local park regulations for what is allowed.

Most weddings will have floral arrangements at the ceremony. You'll both likely be wearing some lovely suits or tuxes, which you can rent or buy. The music you can either pay for live musicians, or you can arrange something with the chapels. A harp or piano is always a lovely choice.

Weddings typically have a colour scheme if not a theme (steampunk, retro, victorian, etc.) It's your day, make it suit your personalities! You'll only do this once!

If your budget isn't tight and you want things just right, or you're tight on time, you can look into a wedding coordinator, for appearances there are makeup & hair artists such as Blushing Brides (who also is very happy to work with same sex marriages and offers services in upstate NY).

If you're on a budget, you can also shop on amazon for some amazing deals, such as feel-real latex flowers, Ties, Cufflinks, centerpieces for the reception.

If you're worried about the planning and not sure how to go about it, there a website to help you plan called The Knot which has checklists, vendors, resources, and ideas to help you get started!

Typically a wedding has the following:

1. Ceremony Location
2. Reception Location
3. Officiate
4. Flowers for suits, bridesmaids, bride (which isn't applicable here), and decoration.
5. Decorations for the isle, and "alter" (flowers, ribbons, etc).
6. Centerpieces for the guest tables
7. Tablecloths for the tables.
8. Special decorations for the wedding party table, gift table, & guestbook table.
9. Wedding favors (I personally recommend picking something everyone would use later, like shot glasses, coffee, potted plants, or scented soaps!)
10. Caterers
11. Wedding cake/Cupcakes (& gluten free desserts such as fruit salads if you have any guests who have gluten allergies).

Good luck, I'm sure it'll be perfect and gorgeous!

[Xkaret510 4]

Thanks for all of the great ideas! We actually like the idea of having a civil marriage first, then have a religious ceremony at some point in the future when we are not under a deadline. We are so happy to have support of other VJ members.

If you apply for a K-1 VIsa, make sure you put very clear in your statement that you will get married in New York state, even if you do not know the date,I got an RFE for not stating that since same sex marriages are not allowed in every state...

Good luck

[Xkaret510 4]

Thanks for all of the great ideas! We actually like the idea of having a civil marriage first, then have a religious ceremony at some point in the future when we are not under a deadline. We are so happy to have support of other VJ members.

If you apply for a K-1 VIsa, make sure you put very clear in your statement that you will get married in New York state, even if you do not know the date,I got an RFE for not stating that since same sex marriages are not allowed in every state...

Good luck

[Terrenceas 0]

We are also a part of a same sex couple. Our K1 visa petition was approved in September. We are still waiting to hear from the National Visa Center and hope that the case and my fiancé's interview will happen by the end of the year. Our plan is to marry in a state or the District of Columbia that recognizes our marriage assuming that the Florida Supreme Court or the 11th Cirucit do not rule that the ban in our state is unconstitutional in the next few months. We will only have a civil marriage, I agree with all the other posters that immigration does not care whether you have a civil or religious wedding. You only have to establish that you were married within 90 days from traye of he point of entry and that the marriage is not a sham. By the way when we filed our petition we did not indicate where we will get married. We only indicated in an affidavit that we intend to get married in a State that recognizes same sex marriages. All the best to you and your fiancé.

[Xkaret510 4]

We are also a part of a same sex couple. Our K1 visa petition was approved in September. We are still waiting to hear from the National Visa Center and hope that the case and my fiancé's interview will happen by the end of the year. Our plan is to marry in a state or the District of Columbia that recognizes our marriage assuming that the Florida Supreme Court or the 11th Cirucit do not rule that the ban in our state is unconstitutional in the next few months. We will only have a civil marriage, I agree with all the other posters that immigration does not care whether you have a civil or religious wedding. You only have to establish that you were married within 90 days from traye of he point of entry and that the marriage is not a sham. By the way when we filed our petition we did not indicate where we will get married. We only indicated in an affidavit that we intend to get married in a State that recognizes same sex marriages. All the best to you and your fiancé.

Im from Miami and we are also waiting on Florida decision. Right now waiting on NOA2...

I was also looking into D.C, but its a week wait after you apply for license...