Please help me! My ex-wife used me to get her residency

[brownbella 13]

Yes there is. It is called the law. If there is a finding of fraud, they have to go back. Not because they are a "thing". But because it is the law.

This is the most common put-down on this forum, and it says more about the person saying it than it does about the person who has the rightful concern of someone faking love for the purpose of getting here. It is illegal. So here you have someone quite possibly committing a crime, for which the penalty is to be sent home, and people give this asinine lecture about people not being objects.

Is there anyone on the face of the earth that actually needs to be told that people are not objects? Only the sociopaths amongst us, and it does no good to tell them anyway.

If you went to congress and asked them to change the law so that marriage fraud perpetrators could stay here, on the basis that they are not objects - they would laugh in your face. Because simple justice alone and any sense of human decency compels people to demand that yes: when you come here under false pretenses you have no right to be here and should be sent home. Because you are human alright: a human with despicable morals, a criminal, and good riddance to you.

Do you understand how marriage fraud works? Fraud indicates the marriage was entered into to obtain an immigration benefit. A sham marriage. A marriage where your boss says you have to marry his immigrant cousin to keep your job. That's fraud. A marriage where a gay man marries a woman to immigrate, and both "partners" know its a sham, that's fraud. If there's money involved, that's fraud. Bad marriage? Not fraud. Loveless marriage? Not fraud. Abusive marriage? Not fraud. Marriage too soon? Not fraud. Cultural differences? Language barriers? Not fraud. Spouse prioritizing work/studies/kids over other partner? Not fraud. Those are just bad relationship choices. In the OP's case, he said his wife was cold since she returned from Europe, and she was more invested in her studies than him. Not fraud.

They got their I-130 approved- they passed the test of bonafide relationship. This couple acted like a couple. He didn't receive $$$ to marry her, and they lived together. Half of marriages in our country end in divorce. Judging from friends and family members, I'd say many of those marriages that end in divorce have the same story "he never loved me/she used me for my money". We've all heard the same thing from Americans talking about other Americans. Its called human nature!

However, its disturbing to see people on these boards want to get their ex out of the country just so they don't have to hold up their end of an AOS contract- that they willing agreed to! If 2 Americans get divorced, one partner doesn't usually buy the other one a plane ticket to send them back where they came from. Divorce is disruptive enough without one partner trying to send the other away...like an object...return to sender.

Edited October 11, 2014 by brownbella

[tuckin14 58]

Your ex seems like an educated professional, and unlikely to qualify for need-based public assistance, so the I-864 is probably not an issue. But maybe it is.

USCIS's criterion is "At the time of marriage, did you have a good faith intention to enter into a bona fide marital relationship?" (Her intent, not yours.) No one can look into her soul at that moment, so they look at evidence.

Perhaps she never loved you. Perhaps she put on a good act. Perhaps she gave it a try but just couldn't do it long-term. "Bona Fide" does not mean a 2-year contract to stick it out. The mere fact that she gave up does not make it fraud, if in fact she tried - to some level, to whatever level.

In my own case, my ex (a) lived with me for a total of one day before telling me to move out and (b) instructed me to never put any of "her" money in a joint account. I was probably like you, I wanted the relationship more than she did, I was kind of lonely and wanted to get married and she was there, but USCIS will (probably - her case isn't resolved yet) have a hard time believing that someone was in good faith when they made no real attempt to ever live together.

It's clear you're hurt and we all feel your pain. It's also understandable to feel used and want your ex to not benefit from going through what might have been a sham in her mind. But there is her side of it too. The green card is not the USC spouse's to grant or withhold.

You can inform USCIS of the fact surrounding the case. But someone who, after a time of living together, co-mingling finances,and acting as a couple, says "I just don't love you anymore" probably does not rise to the level of marriage fraud.

[Caryh 5,206]

However, its disturbing to see people on these boards want to get their ex out of the country just so they don't have to hold up their end of an AOS contract- that they willing agreed to! If 2 Americans get divorced, one partner doesn't usually buy the other one a plane ticket to send them back where they came from. Divorce is disruptive enough without one partner trying to send the other away...like an object...return to sender.

Well I wanted to buy a plane ticket for my ex to return, but it turns out no airlines fly to heII, so that spawn of the devil got to stay.

Edited October 13, 2014 by Caryh

[john_and_marlene 162]

Well I wanted to buy a plane ticket for my ex to return, but it turns out no airlines fly to heII, so that spawn of the devil got to stay.

Now THAT'S funny

[Mike-eeh and Odie 193]

Thank you all so much for the feedback and help. I truly do appreciate it.

The truth is, we were young and she had a student visa before. She had to leave the university because she could no longer afford it and I met her through my mom. I have never had a girlfriend before and I really ejoyed skyping and talking with her. She came to visit me and we talked about how getting married will be a way for her to stay longer, but I truly felt that I loved her and wanted to make things work. I don't know if I am able to prove it, but her education was always soley her main goal in her life and she was really broken that she wasn't able to finish her university on her student visa. I really did love her and I wanted nothing more but for her to love me back and make things work. My family and I sacrificed everything we had for her. We got a house, helped her get a car and a job and the endless amounts of gifts, but in the end she just said 'she didn't love me as much as I loved her'.

I wanted to ask, I thought there was a form that my parents can fill up to remove themselves as the co-sponsor? I lost the link to the form, but when I find it I will post it here.

C'mon man, by your own admission you had red flags from the start:

"The truth is, we were young and she had a student visa before. She had to leave the university because she could no longer afford it..."

- You were both young. Probably too young to take on a responsibility like marriage.

"She came to visit me and we talked about how getting married will be a way for her to stay longer..."

- You discussed marriage as a way to extend her stay, not as a recognition of your eternal love.

"I don't know if I am able to prove it, but her education was always soley her main goal in her life and she was really broken that she wasn't able to finish her university on her student visa..."

- You don't have to prove anything, it is rather evident that she put her education before anything else in her life, including you and your family. You ultimately knew this and still went ahead and married her.

"I really did love her and I wanted nothing more but for her to love me back and make things work. My family and I sacrificed everything we had for her. We got a house, helped her get a car and a job and the endless amounts of gifts, but in the end she just said 'she didn't love me as much as I loved her'..."

- I believe you loved her because of your time and resources spent on wanting to make your relationship work for your own needs, and she in turn used your love and generosity to educate herself, which by the way by her understanding was the whole purpose for getting married -- to extend her stay in the USA and complete her education.

I despise people who commit visa fraud as much as the next person, however, by your own admission she did not enter the marriage under any false pretenses, it was in good faith, even though she did not love you as much as you loved her from the beginning. You can't just marry someone and "hope" they grow to love you. I say sign the papers, and move on.