Pressure from girlfriend to get married

[PerditaD 35]

All I can say is be very careful. What seems to be a slight issue now will very likely grow into a major one after getting married.

[Julie+Matt 84]

I had an ex who essentially emotionally abused me. Not quite what yours is doing, but…I was treated like a toy he sometimes wanted to play with, but usually discarded in the corner of his room. I'd do everything I could to make him happy…favorite foods, massages-all kinds of things. But he'd get mad at me over nothing. Then again, I'd get upset cuz he'd give me a "look", which he later said meant I was the crazy one. (Thing is, that "look" would be followed by him ignoring me, or saying rude things, or flirting with other girls). I digress...

She's messing with you. As many others have said on here. It's difficult, and I'm sure that you love her. But it sounds to me like she's using you. Drop her, cut off all communication. She gets mad cuz you're taking car of your sick mother? That's just…selfish. I could understand if there was a hint of jealousy every once in awhile (she's human, and sometimes stuff like that is inappropriate but is okay if it's admitted with the knowledge of it being that way). Regardless, I hope you make the right decision. No one deserves to be hurt...

[Redflame2012 32]

_{I feel if you were sure about marrying this young lady, you wouldn't have to ask for advice...You know what you should do.}

_{Good luck!}

_{PS: Sometimes love isn't enough...}

[keysjangle 145]

As fast as you can:

[rlogan 2,036]

I'm finding it difficult to dump her even though I know it's the best thing to do.

No mystery there.

Before I read enough on manipulative people I was baffled by the same thing: why is it that I never seem to even have an opening for bringing up the subject? That's because more than anything else, manipulative people are extremely savvy in reading you. They see that look of concern on your face, wanting to talk about it, and they act quickly to sabotage it: They will never allow this opening.

They guilt-trip, shame, use false flattery - anything to manipulate. When they first meet you, they go through what is called the "evaluation phase" where they try out different tactics with you to see what your real weaknesses are. The fact you can't dump her tells me she's found yours.

In one case I had to physically hand someone an eviction notice because they made it absolutely impossible to talk with them about it. A real master at diversion, evasion, and sabotage.

Edited October 8, 2014 by rlogan

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Marriage is hard work and with her already making you crazy I would say nope.

Do you even fit into her dreams and aspirations ?

From your description I see there is no "we" only a "me" and her way or the high way.

I would chose the high way.

[ChEd 18]

Run!!!!! she's the

[E-N 48]

sweetheart, run. don't set yourself up for a headache and regret later. It will hurt leaving at first but, she has always seemed to be your main priority but, unfortunately you do not seem to be hers. You are her chance for greater opportunity. Keep doing what you are doing, take care of mom for now and you will be blessed with a choice love for all your sacrifices.

[sheldonsgirl 19]

Sounds to me that you know what you need to do already, you just need validation. Love doesn't treat you the way she does. Nobody who loves you unconditionally will threaten to leave the state. You've only been together 10 mos, and any logical person could not expect marriage so soon. Her blatant lack of respect for you time without consideration of a text or phone call is a huge red flag.

If it were me....."BYE FELICIA"

[CdnRN 40]

Run. Fast and Far!

Don't forget, if you don't, and end up sponsoring her for her beloved green card as her (likely) sponsor you'll be on the hook even if you split.

Read the numerous threads and be glad you are seeing the light before you get married. And run. Fast. Far.

Oh and don't look back. You will find someone amazing who you want to marry because you can't imagine life without them. It's worth the wait. Trust me.

[Best23 2]

As an international student on opt, I don't know the country she is from, but I'll ask you to please save yourself from trauma and heartbreak. She does not love and only wants to marry you to adjust her status. SHE WILL DIVORCE YOU ONCE SHE GET HER PAPERS! RUN RUN N RUN FROM HER.

[JSum 8]

Being with each other, we should also care each other's family ... Your mother is so sick and she still not understand and blame u is unacceptable ...

Marriage is a life time promise and oligations, we will need to love and care our partner unconditionally.. if she is acting like that now, there is no way marriage can change her, it will get worst ... remember, after married, we hv to face daily life and problem together, so supportive and understanding is very important ...

Dont just get marry because she is pushing you ... do it when you feel totally happy, relax, being loved and want to tell every body she is ur dream woman, if you dont have that, and you dont feel proud and comfortable in this relationship, step bk and i am sure you can find ur right one later ... good luck...

[NoeNoe 2]

Hi!

The fact that you're being pressured is a sign that if you pursue it, you will regret it. Jus like what most people here said, run. I would get scared.

[Azontodance 6]

So sorry about your mom...........

Leaving the one u love can hurt, but RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN as much as you can RUN as if a lion is chasing you.

The sweet sexy devilish you just described seems to be a very dangerous Lion. Again, PLEASE RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[Cathi 5,782]

I have one word. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!