I need advice , please help!

[maghfira 2]

Hi, since i came to USA with CR1 visa I'm having a terrible problems with the man i married and i knew for more than 5 years ago, it started with insult, bad treat ,....one day we are happy and ok and another day we are mad and no one talk to the other , always i initiate to communicate and talk to him because i know he can don't talk for weeks or months if he want, my husband was promising me to send me to home after 6 months (the first visit) or to go with me, today 9 months since i came to USA, he said he is not going anywhere , and i can tell him when i want to go home and i can stay as much as i want , he makes me always feels since i came that i can go home anytime i want, and i can go out from the house too anytime i want , i missed my family he know i didn't accept a lot of job offer just because i had a trip planning to my home , my husband and i are going through a lot of problems , i asked him he can divorce me if he want , and if this is the solution for both of us, me i have no time to apply for divorce now, my mom is sick and i want to see her before i think about any other thing , my question is :

i worry too much if i go home , he may move to his uncle house and when i come back i find my all stuff in the street or at his uncle house , can he do that? or its illegal ? i don't know if i should go home or just stay until i solve my problems

what do you think ?

Thanks

Edited September 27, 2014 by maghfira

[clairegie 265]

What should you do? Communicate with your husband. Tell him you just want to visit your sick Mom and you will come back to him. You WILL return to him, right? Tell him what you feel and learn to listen to him too. Don't leave him while things are still unsorted. I know you love your mother, but you are first and foremost, a wife.

[maghfira 2]

What should you do? Communicate with your husband. Tell him you just want to visit your sick Mom and you will come back to him. You WILL return to him, right? Tell him what you feel and learn to listen to him too. Don't leave him while things are still unsorted. I know you love your mother, but you are first and foremost, a wife

Thank you for your reply, he knows for sure i will be back, i talk to him too much i explain to him everything, he always say i couldn't adjust living here, and i don't speak English perfectly, and i'm homeless, and have no money ,while he see me picking the appropriate job to me or refusing some just because of this visit to my home, he loves to insult and tell me anything just to hurt me, i go out, i have some friends,i do my best but he always needs more and more , i really don't know what to do, just tired talking to him and i'm accepting anything just to be happy on my own

[clairegie 265]

Was he like this before? What is making him act out like this? Do you have any relatives in the US?

[maghfira 2]

Was he like this before? What is making him act out like this? Do you have any relatives in the US?

i don't know what's happened to him , he may have another woman, he was not like that before,

i have no relatives here

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

Why are you homeless, I thought you still lived with your husband?

If you are truly worried, you could move your things to a storage place.

[milimelo 4,477]

With all due respect not getting a job because of prospective visit back home would not fare well for me either.

I had a job within 4 months of arrival and traveled to see my family 3 months after I started work (so 9 months post move to the US) - was very clear when I started I'd be going in negative balance with annual leave but it was not a problem for my job as I was gone for 2 weeks. And no, my husband didn't come with me for a visit - he stayed home.

I'd think your husband would expect you to be working and contributing to the household instead of rejecting job offers. Start working, go visit when you have to, you'll find another job if you don't have a supportive employer.

[maghfira 2]

Why are you homeless, I thought you still lived with your husband?

If you are truly worried, you could move your things to a storage place.

Sorry i meant jobless, i live with him,

[maghfira 2]

With all due respect not getting a job because of prospective visit back home would not fare well for me either.

I had a job within 4 months of arrival and traveled to see my family 3 months after I started work (so 9 months post move to the US) - was very clear when I started I'd be going in negative balance with annual leave but it was not a problem for my job as I was gone for 2 weeks. And no, my husband didn't come with me for a visit - he stayed home.

I'd think your husband would expect you to be working and contributing to the household instead of rejecting job offers. Start working, go visit when you have to, you'll find another job if you don't have a supportive employer.

My husband keeps tell me if i start working i have to stay working for minimum 1 year before i get 2 weeks off, i found very nice job offers after 2 months from my arrival , and they accepted me but i was thinking all the time how can i start the training they offer and start working and asking for a quick leave? do i have to tell them in advance i have a trip planing to visit home....i was asking my self all these questions without having the courage to start any job just because i want to visit home soon for 4 weeks or 3,

thank you for your reply , i understood from your post that you told your job from the beginning that you need a leave soon after starting working with them? did they accept it with no problem?

Edited September 27, 2014 by maghfira

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

Not trying to be mean, but seem to me your focusing of this whole going home ever since you put your foot on the ground here. Or maybe I'm just not fully understanding you, I have a hard time figuring out what you are trying to convey here. But it seems to me, that you just never really married him, but sort of married a good life here, but really aren't interested in him by any means, and every moment you are focusing on how to go back home to visit your Mom. And while, with all due respect, it is great that you love your mother so much and worry about her, at the same time it doesn't seem like you actually want to establish your life here, and live with the man who you married to and be devoted to him. Again, I'm not saying this is the case, but this is what comes down (to me) from what you write. You have to make a decision. Do you actually want to have your life here, with your husband, and start forming a unity with both of you working, contributing to the household, perhaps planning on building a family, or are you just here to sit around and reject all jobs because you are focusing on going home to visit your Mom ever since you landed here. I mean, come on! You are his wife! You're not a little kid anymore who just have to hope daddy will let you go on a field trip while he is supporting you and working to give you a good living. Again, not trying to insult you, don't take it that way.

My husband keeps tell me if i start working i have to stay working for minimum 1 year before i get 2 weeks off, i found very nice job offers after 2 months from my arrival , and they accepted me but i was thinking all the time how can i start the training they offer and start working and asking for a quick leave? do i have to tell them in advance i have a trip planing to visit home....i was asking my self all these questions without having the courage to start any job just because i want to visit home soon for 4 weeks or 3,

thank you for your reply , i understood from your post that you told your job from the beginning that you need a leave soon after starting working with them? did they accept it with no problem?