What to do if you find out you have sponsored a mentally ill foreigner?

[Amena14 3]

I am not sure what forum to post this question in, but I need help pretty quickly. I will try to make this as short as possible.

I filed for a K-1 VISA for my (ex)husband in 2012. He arrived in December 2012 and we were immediately married. After just a few weeks I noticed his behavior was just not “right”. He thought people were breaking into the house, his clothes were being stolen, secret cameras were installed, my daughter was trying to kill him…I could go on for days. I contacting TWO therapists at different times who were certain he was schizophrenic. I COULD NOT get him to go see a doctor. I ended up taking job out of the country as I was living a nightmare with him. At the time, I didn’t think I was in physical danger but I wasn’t taking the chance.

He ended up moving out of our home in FL to Las Vegas while I was gone. Things there just got worse. Somehow in this time, he was granted a green card without an interview. That was in September 2013. I was actually hoping to have the interview so I could inform immigration as to what was happening. I don’t have medical “proof” but one look at his Facebook page or just a few of the emails I have from him will leave one with no doubt. I tried to get his family to help but they assumed we were having marital problems. They NOW know I was telling the truth. I had no choice but to file for divorce as our marriage, or his mental capacity, could not be salvaged.

In May of 2014, our divorce was final. He is still in Las Vegas and I am still out of the safely out of the country. We are still in limited contact and I check on him occasionally. He has gotten worse! He truly feels the US government is after him and is convinced, I (along with a few dozen others) am behind it somehow. My family members and friends are actually quite worried they will be his target as he has been contacting them recently asking about nonsense. Obviously I am worried about our safety as well as his, I am concerned with a few other things:

1) Other than financially, how much responsibility do I have now that we are no longer married?

2) He needs to go back to his country. I am very concerned, not only for his safety but for others around him. I am not trying to be hateful and have him deported, but I feel he needs to be with his family. He truly needs help and I cannot legally force him to get treatment. Is it possible to accomplish this?

Should I, can I and how DO I contact immigration about this matter?

Seriously, one look at any evidence I have will be alarming to authorities. He has already been to the police and the FBI (according to him) and they will not talk to him now. He stated that when he went to the police the second time, they asked him if he has ever been treated for a mental disorder. His response “See, now someone has reported me to the authorities as being crazy and they will never believe me.”

Please help!

[kzielu 1,149]

You can't do anything immigration wise about him unless you think there was a fraud which sounds like there wasn't.

[Caryh 5,206]

There's really nothing you can do. When his ROC comes up, he might have a very tough time managing to remove conditions, as you left the country very shortly after marriage. You would have had to sign the I-864 for him to get his green card though. Did he fraudulently sign your name? If you could prove that, it might be the intent to commit fraud that could get him sent home.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

**** Moving from General Immigration to Effects of Major Changes forum ******

Op, as the others have said there, is little you can do immigration wise. What I would suggest is talk to his family back home, and have them encourage him to return. Offering to pay for a ticket may help, but depending on how his mind currently works, it may only make him more paranoid.

Edited September 19, 2014 by Penguin_ie

[Torete 121]

OP,

My lengthy post failed to post.

In a nutshell, consider having your friends and family members request restraining orders. I'm in agreement with previous posters regarding immigration options.

Regards

[Caryh 5,206]

OP,

My lengthy post failed to post.

In a nutshell, consider having your friends and family members request restraining orders. I'm in agreement with previous posters regarding immigration options.

Regards

restraining orders really don't work with the paranoid schizophrenics. Its more likely to make them more agitated and feel the need to do something than to make them understand they need to stay away from someone. I had a family member who suffered from this mental illness, words can't really begin to describe how irrational their behavior can be.

[Amena14 3]

Thank you everyone. The marriage was entered in "good faith" and everything has been done legally. I know there is something that needs to be done before the two year mark to release the conditions of his residency based on our marriage. I hoped maybe I could do something at that point.

Yes, no one really knows schizophrenia until you have lived with someone that has it. It was totally devastating. I loved this man very much and I will probably never get over the pain. I did offer him a ticket and ALMOST had him convinced to go back home but at the last minute he changed his mind. I have talked with his family so much that they won't even speak to me now. Some believe me and don't want to get involved. Some think he is just being "difficult" and others won't do anything afraid he be angry with them.

I should have listened to the therapist and had him legally committed when I was still his wife. At the time, I was too emotional and just wanted away from the situation.

Again thank you for the advice.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Tthere is nothing you can do. I hope he gets treatment so he won't end up homeless on the streets. Unless someone can talk him into treatment

and some kind of group to go to it does not look good.

Has he never said anything crazy or acted strange the whole time you dated him or before you filed for AOS ?

Mental illness usually can't be hidden well, even long distance.

Maybe the trigger was the stress of moving here ?

I agree he needs to be with his family.

[Jon York 156]

Have you considered the possibility that he may not be mentally ill, but rather just living out what his life in Afghanistan may have naturally led him to? There, they live daily with numerous threats. I've found people from that region to be extremely paranoid. But the more I learn about their lives there the more I realize that what seems like paranoia to me is just the logical outgrowth of the reality they've had to live with there.

[Torete 121]

restraining orders really don't work with the paranoid schizophrenics. Its more likely to make them more agitated and feel the need to do something than to make them understand they need to stay away from someone. I had a family member who suffered from this mental illness, words can't really begin to describe how irrational their behavior can be.

Agree. A previous post I attempted to make but was unsuccessful with elaborated on that. They are about as good as the piece of paper they're printed on and one has never been known to stop a bullet or knife. The one thing they can do however is provide a paper trail of violations. It's a personal choice for the OP. You've expressed your experience and no one should doubt your viewpoint.

[Boiler 45,524]

My understanding was that Mental Health care in the US is extremely limited and practically having someone committed is impossible.

[Torete 121]

My understanding was that Mental Health care in the US is extremely limited and practically having someone committed is impossible.

Not necessarily. In a nutshell, law-enforcement (if involved) would need to articulate in writing that the person is or may be a harm to themselves or the general public at large. That will allow for a non-voluntary 72 hour committal during which time the person is evaluated regarding their mental state. After that, a "mental health" specialist can continue to commit them against their will if it is determined that they continue to present that same danger.

Edited September 20, 2014 by Torete

[Boiler 45,524]

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mentally-ill-youth-in-crisis/

But after the campaign, for no reason anyone could see, Gus Deeds stopped taking care of himself and became paranoid, obsessive, anti-social. He dropped out and couldn’t keep a job. In 2011, he was diagnosed as bipolar. His father was so worried that Gus would kill himself Deeds told us he got rid of all of the guns in their rural farmhouse—except one hunting rifle that had no ammunition. Later, with medication, Gus returned to William and Mary until last fall.

Creigh Deeds: Gus had posted weird things on his Facebook page about-- you know, how the professors were ganging up against him. And he was gonna start boycotting class. It was pretty clear to me that he wasn't taking medicine. I told Gus that he and I needed to talk to somebody together.

That’s when Deeds discovered that "talking to somebody," getting treatment, is harder in mental health than any other kind of medicine. In the decades after the 1960s most large mental institutions were closed. It was thought that patients would get better treatment back in their communities. But adequate local facilities were never built. The number of beds available to psychiatric patients in America dropped from more than half a million to fewer than 100,000. That leaves many kids in crisis today with one option: the emergency room.

Brian Geyser: You know, every day, we have 10 to 20 kids with psychiatric problems come into our emergency department, kids who wanna kill themselves, who’ve tried to kill themselves, who've tried to kill somebody else.

Brian Geyser is a nurse practitioner we met in the emergency department of Yale New Haven Hospital in Connecticut— it’s one of the best in the nation in psychiatry.

Brian Geyser: We have 52 psychiatric beds here at Yale. And right now, all 52 are full. And so the seven kids that are here in the emergency room are waiting for an open bed.

Scott Pelley: How long will they wait?

Brian Geyser: Five of them have been here three days already.

Most every day the beds are full of patients in crisis. Seventeen-year-old Tyler Wrightington was waiting in the ER. He had just slashed his face with a knife.

[Torete 121]

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mentally-ill-youth-in-crisis/

But after the campaign, for no reason anyone could see, Gus Deeds stopped taking care of himself and became paranoid, obsessive, anti-social. He dropped out and couldn’t keep a job. In 2011, he was diagnosed as bipolar. His father was so worried that Gus would kill himself Deeds told us he got rid of all of the guns in their rural farmhouse—except one hunting rifle that had no ammunition. Later, with medication, Gus returned to William and Mary until last fall.

Creigh Deeds: Gus had posted weird things on his Facebook page about-- you know, how the professors were ganging up against him. And he was gonna start boycotting class. It was pretty clear to me that he wasn't taking medicine. I told Gus that he and I needed to talk to somebody together.

That’s when Deeds discovered that "talking to somebody," getting treatment, is harder in mental health than any other kind of medicine. In the decades after the 1960s most large mental institutions were closed. It was thought that patients would get better treatment back in their communities. But adequate local facilities were never built. The number of beds available to psychiatric patients in America dropped from more than half a million to fewer than 100,000. That leaves many kids in crisis today with one option: the emergency room.

Brian Geyser: You know, every day, we have 10 to 20 kids with psychiatric problems come into our emergency department, kids who wanna kill themselves, who’ve tried to kill themselves, who've tried to kill somebody else.

Brian Geyser is a nurse practitioner we met in the emergency department of Yale New Haven Hospital in Connecticut— it’s one of the best in the nation in psychiatry.

Brian Geyser: We have 52 psychiatric beds here at Yale. And right now, all 52 are full. And so the seven kids that are here in the emergency room are waiting for an open bed.

Scott Pelley: How long will they wait?

Brian Geyser: Five of them have been here three days already.

Most every day the beds are full of patients in crisis. Seventeen-year-old Tyler Wrightington was waiting in the ER. He had just slashed his face with a knife.

Understood. I was just pointing out that it's not impossible. Speaking only of the process, (and whether it's impossible or not) is what I was trying to point out. The process is state specific, has specific conditions to be met and is known by different names/laws etc. For instance, in California, it is known as 5150 W&I (Welfare and Institutions Code) that addresses commitment on some level.

The issues surrounding mental health are poorly addressed at the least. It may or may not have been applicable to the OP, I just wanted to let them know that it's available and not necessarily impossible. Truly, I know based on my experiences dealing with those at risk. Bad things happen to good people whether or not they suffer from mental issues whether in or outside a hospital setting.

Edited September 20, 2014 by Torete

[d3adc0d3 186]

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mentally-ill-youth-in-crisis/

But after the campaign, for no reason anyone could see, Gus Deeds stopped taking care of himself and became paranoid, obsessive, anti-social. He dropped out and couldn’t keep a job. In 2011, he was diagnosed as bipolar. His father was so worried that Gus would kill himself Deeds told us he got rid of all of the guns in their rural farmhouse—except one hunting rifle that had no ammunition. Later, with medication, Gus returned to William and Mary until last fall.

Creigh Deeds: Gus had posted weird things on his Facebook page about-- you know, how the professors were ganging up against him. And he was gonna start boycotting class. It was pretty clear to me that he wasn't taking medicine. I told Gus that he and I needed to talk to somebody together.

That’s when Deeds discovered that "talking to somebody," getting treatment, is harder in mental health than any other kind of medicine. In the decades after the 1960s most large mental institutions were closed. It was thought that patients would get better treatment back in their communities. But adequate local facilities were never built. The number of beds available to psychiatric patients in America dropped from more than half a million to fewer than 100,000. That leaves many kids in crisis today with one option: the emergency room.

Brian Geyser: You know, every day, we have 10 to 20 kids with psychiatric problems come into our emergency department, kids who wanna kill themselves, who’ve tried to kill themselves, who've tried to kill somebody else.

Brian Geyser is a nurse practitioner we met in the emergency department of Yale New Haven Hospital in Connecticut— it’s one of the best in the nation in psychiatry.

Brian Geyser: We have 52 psychiatric beds here at Yale. And right now, all 52 are full. And so the seven kids that are here in the emergency room are waiting for an open bed.

Scott Pelley: How long will they wait?

Brian Geyser: Five of them have been here three days already.

Most every day the beds are full of patients in crisis. Seventeen-year-old Tyler Wrightington was waiting in the ER. He had just slashed his face with a knife.

This is specifically referring to pediatric psychology which does indeed lack, desperately for accommodations and qualified help. Adult Mental Health Medicine, while is still lacking, isn't lacking as severely. My mother is a Psych Nurse.

The State can admit him, if you inform the local police of his condition and provide evidence, next time he comes in they can have him committed for an evaluation. I would recommend that you do that. The police will be admitting him, so it won't be as likely to lash out on you.

Good luck, I can only imagine how devastating that is.