now what???????????

[Caryh 5,206]

yes the one i had - from last april- says that during 60 days she should appear in court to sign that is all ,i not know anything about this case

Did you file, or did she file? You story just does not make sense. You cannot divorce someone without serving them notice, or having them sign the divorce papers. If there is a required hearing, then both parties should be notified. It sounds like you were never informed of a hearing, ignored it, or she sidetracked the hearing notice mailed to you.

[kehills 217]

Most places, you can look up divorce filings, paperwork, etc, online. Just sayin - no reason to wait til Monday.

[Caryh 5,206]

Most places, you can look up divorce filings, paperwork, etc, online. Just sayin - no reason to wait til Monday.

That's true. I can look up the one divorce I had online, even though the system to look it up wasn't available when the divorce occurred.

[tuckin14 58]

You said you "got a copy" in April. In general (I'm not an attorney) a divorce is a legal action and the defendant must be served legal notice. Maybe the "copy" you got was in fact the legal service notifying you there was a lawsuit against you.

Think about it this way, suppose you bought your wife an expensive item while married, and you are entitled to your legal share of that property. She can't just get a divorce and keep it. You have a right to know you are being divorced and make whatever legal claims you might have for support, property, child custody, etc. Even if there are none of those, how does a court know? They certainly won't take the plaintiff's word for it.

Anyway, your task is to assemble documentation that you entered the marriage in good faith. Based on the facts you presented, you at least will go into the ROC process with nothing in particular to make USCIS doubt that. But you still have to prove it. Assemble all the evidence you can.

[raven52 233]

FIRST, please, people asking for help on this site, ''''fill in your time Llne'''' if we knew your state.,,..,.,.we could find the law for that state!

Such as where we live, South Carolina, you must be """"TOTALLY""" separated for one year, before a divorce can even be scheduled to the court schedule.,.,.,.it took me 2 and 1/2 years to get a divorce here!

Where do you live, all states have different divorce laws.

I really feel she is "running over top of you, and I would love to see you stand up to her!""" Are you afraid, she might say, "domestic abuse" with false witnesses,.,.,.,it could happen.,.,.,,.please be careful, but your in-action to find out what is being done to you, is not helping your case at all, "go to the court house" if you have to miss work.,.,..,then give the information here.,.,.,.,experts here can help you.,.,.,..,.,.YOU need to get much more active in finding out what is being done to you!!!!

[sasafan 3]

thank you all for reply,,i went to lawyer already ,he checked and saw the case -says it is final ,,waiting for it to show in about 5 days,,he said that she lies and i should not trust her,,the thing is she wants us to stay together as she claims that she did it only to get her insurance back ,,any ways that is the case she said she dropped back in April but she didnt ,,office clerk gav me copy back then ,,i thought it was over but she lied,,now the lawyer wants me to file for removal of conditions once i get final divorce and she says MAY BE we remarry again ,,she is very game player ,,i don know what should i do ,,am i subjected to deportation if i dont file for ROC after final divorce? can she report me to uscis - she is that kind of person. or should i remarry her ,i surely love her but cannot trust her now.,,another thing ,,we live together now,,will anything considered as proof of good faith wil be count now after divorce?like continue joint bank account,,expensive birthday gift i got her today with bill of both names etc or they will not look at after divorce of joint life?

You said you "got a copy" in April. In general (I'm not an attorney) a divorce is a legal action and the defendant must be served legal notice. Maybe the "copy" you got was in fact the legal service notifying you there was a lawsuit against you.

Think about it this way, suppose you bought your wife an expensive item while married, and you are entitled to your legal share of that property. She can't just get a divorce and keep it. You have a right to know you are being divorced and make whatever legal claims you might have for support, property, child custody, etc. Even if there are none of those, how does a court know? They certainly won't take the plaintiff's word for it.

Anyway, your task is to assemble documentation that you entered the marriage in good faith. Based on the facts you presented, you at least will go into the ROC process with nothing in particular to make USCIS doubt that. But you still have to prove it. Assemble all the evidence you can.

FIRST, please, people asking for help on this site, ''''fill in your time Llne'''' if we knew your state.,,..,.,.we could find the law for that state!

Such as where we live, South Carolina, you must be """"TOTALLY""" separated for one year, before a divorce can even be scheduled to the court schedule.,.,.,.it took me 2 and 1/2 years to get a divorce here!

Where do you live, all states have different divorce laws.

I really feel she is "running over top of you, and I would love to see you stand up to her!""" Are you afraid, she might say, "domestic abuse" with false witnesses,.,.,.,it could happen.,.,.,,.please be careful, but your in-action to find out what is being done to you, is not helping your case at all, "go to the court house" if you have to miss work.,.,..,then give the information here.,.,.,.,experts here can help you.,.,.,..,.,.YOU need to get much more active in finding out what is being done to you!!

Edited September 21, 2014 by sasafan

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

Collect all evidences that can show you had a bona fide relationship with her and then run for the hills! No, seriously! Move out! Do not stay under the same roof with her as she might report you for abuse, and that way you'll have an extremely hard time filing for ROC. So I would say collect everything you can to prove you had a truthful relationship when marrying her and then leave the house/apartment....you don't want her to file for abuse and then you getting rejected for ROC and deported....

thank you all for reply,,i went to lawyer already ,he checked and saw the case -says it is final ,,waiting for it to show in about 5 days,,he said that she lies and i should not trust her,,the thing is she wants us to stay together as she claims that she did it only to get her insurance back ,,any ways that is the case she said she dropped back in April but she didnt ,,office clerk gav me copy back then ,,i thought it was over but she lied,,now the lawyer wants me to file for removal of conditions once i get final divorce and she says MAY BE we remarry again ,,she is very game player ,,i don know what should i do ,,am i subjected to deportation if i dont file for ROC after final divorce? can she report me to uscis - she is that kind of person. or should i remarry her ,i surely love her but cannot trust her now.,,another thing ,,we live together now,,will anything considered as proof of good faith wil be count now after divorce?like continue joint bank account,,expensive birthday gift i got her today with bill of both names etc or they will not look at after divorce of joint life?

[sasafan 3]

Collect all evidences that can show you had a bona fide relationship with her and then run for the hills! No, seriously! Move out! Do not stay under the same roof with her as she might report you for abuse, and that way you'll have an extremely hard time filing for ROC. So I would say collect everything you can to prove you had a truthful relationship when marrying her and then leave the house/apartment....you don't want her to file for abuse and then you getting rejected for ROC and deported....

i don know ,i wish we can work things out but it is hard when no trust anymore,,very weird that lawyer said that most cases are like that ,sneaking for divorce and tell u otherwise.she refused if i put the bills under my name or both names ,refused if we put the lease under both names ,,will this affect my case as poor evidence?

[Merrytooth 5,748]

i don know ,i wish we can work things out but it is hard when no trust anymore,,very weird that lawyer said that most cases are like that ,sneaking for divorce and tell u otherwise.she refused if i put the bills under my name or both names ,refused if we put the lease under both names ,,will this affect my case as poor evidence?

What evidence you have for co-mingled finances?

[sasafan 3]

What evidence you have for co-mingled finances?

we have joint bank account that is used by both of us putting and taking money out of till today

[Merrytooth 5,748]

we have joint bank account that is used by both of us putting and taking money out of till today

Ok, you should gather last 2 years worth of bank statements from the joint bank account before she closes down the account and then you can't get anything.

You also should think of what other evidence you could submit for ROC.

BONAFIDE EVIDENCE Example list for ROC

1. Evidence of Joint Ownership of Assets and Shared Financial Responsibility

• Joint Federal / State Tax transcripts for 2 years
• Joint bank account statements, spanning over 2 years
• Proof of joint credit card use, spanning over 2 years
• Mortgage loan contract or lease contract with both partners’ names in it
• Power of Attorney
• Wills
• Utility / Cable TV / Cell phone / Pets visit / Membership / Joint purchase bills
• Life insurance policy showing spouse as beneficiary
• Health insurance / Dental / Medical Bills
• Car insurance
• 401(K) account information showing spouse as beneficiary

2. Photographic Evidence

• Photos of you two together
• Photos of you two with family (such as wedding, parties, kids’ graduation, etc.)
• Photos of you two in various locations and times

3. Other Evidence in Support of Bona Fide Marriage

• Birth certificates of any children born to you together
• Sworn affidavits of friends and/or family
• Letters/cards from friends and/or family
• Vacation / honeymoon photos / Boarding Passes showing both of you travelling together
• Hotel receipts with both your names
• Other Misc receipts with both partners’ names in shipping/billing address
• Joint Fishing or Hunting license
• List spouse as each other emergency contact from employers

[sasafan 3]

Ok, you should gather last 2 years worth of bank statements from the joint bank account before she closes down the account and then you can't get anything.

You also should think of what other evidence you could submit for ROC.

BONAFIDE EVIDENCE Example list for ROC

1. Evidence of Joint Ownership of Assets and Shared Financial Responsibility

• Joint Federal / State Tax transcripts for 2 years
• Joint bank account statements, spanning over 2 years
• Proof of joint credit card use, spanning over 2 years
• Mortgage loan contract or lease contract with both partners’ names in it
• Power of Attorney
• Wills
• Utility / Cable TV / Cell phone / Pets visit / Membership / Joint purchase bills
• Life insurance policy showing spouse as beneficiary
• Health insurance / Dental / Medical Bills
• Car insurance
• 401(K) account information showing spouse as beneficiary

2. Photographic Evidence

• Photos of you two together
• Photos of you two with family (such as wedding, parties, kids’ graduation, etc.)
• Photos of you two in various locations and times

3. Other Evidence in Support of Bona Fide Marriage

• Birth certificates of any children born to you together
• Sworn affidavits of friends and/or family
• Letters/cards from friends and/or family
• Vacation / honeymoon photos / Boarding Passes showing both of you travelling together
• Hotel receipts with both your names
• Other Misc receipts with both partners’ names in shipping/billing address
• Joint Fishing or Hunting license
• List spouse as each other emergency contact from employers

thank u so much for taking time to reply ,,very helpful

[sasafan 3]

You are being abused by your wife and mother-in-law..........

how can i prove that,,does psychological abuse counts?

[Caryh 5,206]

how can i prove that,,does psychological abuse counts?

The standard is quite high, this is not an easy thing to prove. Have you been to a psychiatrist? Most of what people would like to be accepted as psychological abuse is viewed at by USCIS as being married to an azzhole, and you should have known better about marrying them in the first place.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

I still hold what I said earlier. Trust is something that is very very very hard to gain back once you lose it. I understand that you wish it was working, but it will not work. If you search through this forum you'll see, these cases tend to end up worse as you're staying with your spouse under the same roof, and since you're the "tolerated immigrant" here, the weight is always greater on you. She has nothing to lose, she is from here. You, my friend, have a lot to lose. So, again, as merrytooth (or whatever that moniken was with that cat picture) pointed it out, look through it and heed it. See what you can get out of it, take those all (or at least a copy of it) and leave the house/apt. You will have a hard time proving psychological abuse, on the other hand, she can easily report you for abuse. And, not trying to be biased, but it's the case, men are always have harder chance to prove that they did not do any kind of abuse. I mean, if a lady is in a play ground taking pictures of kids, that's like "oh how cool! She loves kids". If a man takes a picture of kids in a play ground, he must be a pedophile! While I understand why this whole perspective and protection for women was created it's gone sort of too far and now men are black sheeps to start out with and they have to prove otherwise while women are the pure white sheep and then they can "become" black sheeps. It's ridiculous, but it is what it is, it's a fact. And I'm not being anti-feminist, or anything (I'm a lady myself), but reading this forum....geez...just flip through couple of them here at this section and you'll realize you're better off running screaming for your car (or for the hills as I wrote it in my previous post- whichever you prefer). So, gather all the evidences and move on. Trust cannot be just thrown around and throw away, and then just get it right back. I wish you the very best!

i don know ,i wish we can work things out but it is hard when no trust anymore,,very weird that lawyer said that most cases are like that ,sneaking for divorce and tell u otherwise.she refused if i put the bills under my name or both names ,refused if we put the lease under both names ,,will this affect my case as poor evidence?