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AnnaMaria

Best U.S. International Shipping service for quick delivery - Interview in 13 days

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

Hello, not sure where those question goes...

Our interview is in 13 days. Our Joint Sponsor has her documents prepared and will be mailing them first thing tomorrow, but we originally were going to use USPS Priority Mail Express International which was only like $46 to here and we realized that USPS probably does not use a courier service and we'll get put through sorting facilities which could take weeks to reach my wife's village. Obviously we don't have that much time.

Does anyone know of a shipping service like UPS or FedEx that offers delivery of two documents from the states (Memphis,Tn) to Romania with a 3-5 delivery day time with courier?

I checked UPS and FedEx and they are asking around $150 for two documents, if we can avoid that kind of price that would be fantastic. If it is our only option, then we'll have to take another hit in the budget.

I checked DHL and I keep getting the error that there is no service between destination and origin locations.

Please help!

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Lebanon
Timeline

I suggest you DHL, its gonna cost you money anyway but why to risk ? based on personal experience DHL was better than Fedex or UPS

The immigration process caused me PTSD.

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FedEx or DHL either way is good based on our experience, a lil bit expensive but it's worth it. Takes about 3 days. USPS took a week when hubby sent some documents soooo, use what's convenient for you! :) good luck!

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

Well, I WANT to use DHL very badly. I trust their service, but as I said...We cannot seem to get the information to produce a quote.

We keep getting "Product not available between this origin and destination given shipment parameters"

May I ask what you paid for DHL shipment of documents? Like I said, it's only two documents, a hand-signed I-864 and a birth certificate., it cannot possibly be more than 0.1 kg

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

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Share on other sites

Use any courier but USPS. Last May, when I tracked my package every couple hours after leaving my post office, I found out my Priority Express Mail has been held up in Chicago. The code for that place was ICS and it remained there for 5 days before it finally moved for Chicago. Roughly it arrived another end at my wife's doorstep just in 12 days!

That was 2nd and final test; previously, while living in the Philippines my Mom emailed tracking number and same shipping behavior was shown: her Priority Express remained in ICS for 5 days, too.

With UPS they delivered 3 days to a hotel, where they were willing to hold mail for my wife. I chose UPS at last minute decision over $20 saving over FedEx. Same cost but FedEx neglected to mention fuel surcharge to the total. Honest is best policy, eh?

Always ask for flat rate envelope or box. When you pack inside chosen package, it will involve in no measurement or weighting. Even through the clerk might weight and measure, it doesn't effect the pricing of one flat rate.

When UPS Store clerk asked which shipping option I would want, I choose UPS Worldsaver option, largely because I did my price comparison on the night before I shipped it off. Don't forgot ask the clerk to do customs declaration form--always ask to include the mail, always. Philippine Bureau of Customs tend to demand for it, or else they will charge a fee (even after rip the package apart) as their excuse for lack of customs declaration documentation.

Landed in Cagayan de Oro : August 4, 2007 (same Port where General Douglas MacArthur arrived as he escaped Japanese Naval)

Met in Assembly of God church : October 28, 2007

Civil Union Marriage : May 12, 2008

Birth of our son Ryker : November 8, 2010

CRBA interview, result: approval : August 20, 2014

CRBA + US Passport received: Sept. 11, 2014

USCIS DCF accepted @ U.S.E Manila: August 20, 2014

NOA2 via snail mail received, bypass G-1145 request: August 29, 2014 *LATE (Tsk-tsk, did you forgot to e-Notification us, USCIS?)

U.S.E Manila IV Unit assigned case #, notified us with Packet 3 : September 3, 2014

AOS (part for Packet 3) sent and received, from Applicant (me) to Beneficiary (my wife) : Sept 8-10, 2014

Medical examination @ SLEC) : passed : Sept 15, 2014

IV Interview : approved and issued : Sep19, 2014

Visa packet: next stop

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark 9:23, 24 ~ Αἴ δύνασαι, The most approved reading in English rendering is, If thou canst! All things are possible to him that believeth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

General things in VJ is Do-It-Yourself site which we all would help, giving advices, pointers and tips. I would like to think those law practitioners-for-paid and legal guide (the navigator-for-hired) out there: those who might like us not to perform DIY but letting them do all legal paperworks, pretending s/he know the best route for shortcut or else to apply jurisdiction, e.g. under the table, are merely fable and cannot stop us. This is information age we are living. WE all have same knot to tie, same kind of anxiety, same kind of sweat, of facing judgmental day whether CO grant our visa or not. If you do what we did​ you will achieve nothing less but pride in your accomplishment.

Question for you: will you be willing go through all navigating to learn and study trial and errors of others and then apply toward your pathway to get U.S. visa? Even this means making feedback or giving input from your candid observation.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

Right, I do believe UPS and FedEx both have good delivery services, but we are on an extremely tight budget and while I would not blink an eye over a $20 difference, the price difference between USPS and FedEX and UPS were over $110.

We have a UPS and FedEx near my residence back in the states and I guess we'll have to do whats necessary to ensure proper and timely delivery. I guess like someone said here, it's not worth the risk to get help up with the post offices sorting facilities.

Thank you for the customs advice as well, they held our Christmas package here for 9 days and made us pay an additional $35 just to pick it up, i'll make sure all of that is taken care of when she sends it. To confirm, since she's sending only two documents via (for example ) UPS, just tell them to make sure that the customs declaration states it is two documents of mail or that they are original documents and explain their purpose?

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I WANT to use DHL very badly. I trust their service, but as I said...We cannot seem to get the information to produce a quote.

We keep getting "Product not available between this origin and destination given shipment parameters"

May I ask what you paid for DHL shipment of documents? Like I said, it's only two documents, a hand-signed I-864 and a birth certificate., it cannot possibly be more than 0.1 kg

DHL closed its Wilmington, Ohio back in 2008, causing huge bite of Ohioan economy. Lot of people lost their job right after DHL quickly pulled their mat away. After that their presence in United States has significant reduced. Through I may be wrong in US part but their activity is low to minimal in Asia Pacific and, perhap, worldwide. All I know DHL is Europe-based company centered in Germany. Romania is right in their territory, so check online if DHL has their office in Romania. Since delivery from FedEx is fair in the Philippines (through I claimed having not seen deliver truck), UPS has Philippine strategic partner, regional courier called "2Go." So check Romania on list of logistic carriers first before commit decision which international courier to handle your mail. Backtrack your finding from Romania.

Landed in Cagayan de Oro : August 4, 2007 (same Port where General Douglas MacArthur arrived as he escaped Japanese Naval)

Met in Assembly of God church : October 28, 2007

Civil Union Marriage : May 12, 2008

Birth of our son Ryker : November 8, 2010

CRBA interview, result: approval : August 20, 2014

CRBA + US Passport received: Sept. 11, 2014

USCIS DCF accepted @ U.S.E Manila: August 20, 2014

NOA2 via snail mail received, bypass G-1145 request: August 29, 2014 *LATE (Tsk-tsk, did you forgot to e-Notification us, USCIS?)

U.S.E Manila IV Unit assigned case #, notified us with Packet 3 : September 3, 2014

AOS (part for Packet 3) sent and received, from Applicant (me) to Beneficiary (my wife) : Sept 8-10, 2014

Medical examination @ SLEC) : passed : Sept 15, 2014

IV Interview : approved and issued : Sep19, 2014

Visa packet: next stop

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark 9:23, 24 ~ Αἴ δύνασαι, The most approved reading in English rendering is, If thou canst! All things are possible to him that believeth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

General things in VJ is Do-It-Yourself site which we all would help, giving advices, pointers and tips. I would like to think those law practitioners-for-paid and legal guide (the navigator-for-hired) out there: those who might like us not to perform DIY but letting them do all legal paperworks, pretending s/he know the best route for shortcut or else to apply jurisdiction, e.g. under the table, are merely fable and cannot stop us. This is information age we are living. WE all have same knot to tie, same kind of anxiety, same kind of sweat, of facing judgmental day whether CO grant our visa or not. If you do what we did​ you will achieve nothing less but pride in your accomplishment.

Question for you: will you be willing go through all navigating to learn and study trial and errors of others and then apply toward your pathway to get U.S. visa? Even this means making feedback or giving input from your candid observation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I WANT to use DHL very badly. I trust their service, but as I said...We cannot seem to get the information to produce a quote.

We keep getting "Product not available between this origin and destination given shipment parameters"

May I ask what you paid for DHL shipment of documents? Like I said, it's only two documents, a hand-signed I-864 and a birth certificate., it cannot possibly be more than 0.1 kg

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Well, I just recently used DHL when I sent my hubby two documents as well, (police clearance and birth certificate) they charged me the minimum payment, of course it depends from where the location is. I got charged like 60 dollars and that's it.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

Well, I just recently used DHL when I sent my hubby two documents as well, (police clearance and birth certificate) they charged me the minimum payment, of course it depends from where the location is. I got charged like 60 dollars and that's it.

I would pay that price any day for a 3-5 day delivery, but the closest DHL office from my mom's residence is pretty far away. It would cost almost as much in gas just to send two pieces of paper lol. DHL is EVERYWHERE here in Romania though, but when I called to get some information a few minutes ago they told me I needed to contact the DHL US office.

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

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Share on other sites

@AnnaMaria

I just research at DHL website while ago. Either DHL Authorized Shipping Center can take your mail, or UPS Store can. Get full address where you intend to mail to and let the clerk (at the place you planned to mail off) figure it out. UPS Store also list multi-carrier such as USPS which amazed me. If your heart is strong on DHL, then DHL it is.

ay3aT69.png

Landed in Cagayan de Oro : August 4, 2007 (same Port where General Douglas MacArthur arrived as he escaped Japanese Naval)

Met in Assembly of God church : October 28, 2007

Civil Union Marriage : May 12, 2008

Birth of our son Ryker : November 8, 2010

CRBA interview, result: approval : August 20, 2014

CRBA + US Passport received: Sept. 11, 2014

USCIS DCF accepted @ U.S.E Manila: August 20, 2014

NOA2 via snail mail received, bypass G-1145 request: August 29, 2014 *LATE (Tsk-tsk, did you forgot to e-Notification us, USCIS?)

U.S.E Manila IV Unit assigned case #, notified us with Packet 3 : September 3, 2014

AOS (part for Packet 3) sent and received, from Applicant (me) to Beneficiary (my wife) : Sept 8-10, 2014

Medical examination @ SLEC) : passed : Sept 15, 2014

IV Interview : approved and issued : Sep19, 2014

Visa packet: next stop

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark 9:23, 24 ~ Αἴ δύνασαι, The most approved reading in English rendering is, If thou canst! All things are possible to him that believeth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

General things in VJ is Do-It-Yourself site which we all would help, giving advices, pointers and tips. I would like to think those law practitioners-for-paid and legal guide (the navigator-for-hired) out there: those who might like us not to perform DIY but letting them do all legal paperworks, pretending s/he know the best route for shortcut or else to apply jurisdiction, e.g. under the table, are merely fable and cannot stop us. This is information age we are living. WE all have same knot to tie, same kind of anxiety, same kind of sweat, of facing judgmental day whether CO grant our visa or not. If you do what we did​ you will achieve nothing less but pride in your accomplishment.

Question for you: will you be willing go through all navigating to learn and study trial and errors of others and then apply toward your pathway to get U.S. visa? Even this means making feedback or giving input from your candid observation.

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Share on other sites

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

@Silent

How in the heck did you get to a quote page?! It keeps asking me telling me there is no service for my destination and origin. I live 20 minutes outside of the country's capital city! I even tried entering my wife's office address in Bucharest and it said the same thing.

What dimensions did you enter and weight for the envelope or package to get to the quote page?

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

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Share on other sites

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline

As said previously, stay away from USPS.

Just a suggestion, scan the documents as many embassies will accept scanned and e-mailed copies. A while back someone had this same issue at the embassy in Moscow and this worked. At least it will be a great back up just in case.

Several years back I sent documents to Russia with DHL and at that time they had a guaranteed delivery time of something like 5 days. My package went on a LONG trip and ultimately took nearly 2 weeks. I did complain, and they refunded my entire cost for sending the documents, which was just over $100 at that time.

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.

Someone stole my dictionary. Now I am at a loss for words.

If Apple made a car, would it have windows?

Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again .

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Deport him and you never have to feed him again.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I went bald but I kept my comb.  I just couldn't part with it.

My name is not Richard Edward but my friends still call me DickEd

If your pet has a bladder infection, urine trouble.

"Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow."

I fired myself from cleaning the house. I didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.

My kid has A.D.D... and a couple of F's

Carrots improve your vision.  Alcohol doubles it.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks " Is this stool taken?"

Breaking news.  They're not making yardsticks any longer.

Hemorrhoids?  Shouldn't they be called Assteroids?

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that may be why.

Dogs can't take MRI's but Cat scan.

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Share on other sites

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

As said previously, stay away from USPS.

Just a suggestion, scan the documents as many embassies will accept scanned and e-mailed copies. A while back someone had this same issue at the embassy in Moscow and this worked. At least it will be a great back up just in case.

Several years back I sent documents to Russia with DHL and at that time they had a guaranteed delivery time of something like 5 days. My package went on a LONG trip and ultimately took nearly 2 weeks. I did complain, and they refunded my entire cost for sending the documents, which was just over $100 at that time.

Well we are doing as you have suggested and are having my mother scan/e-mail most of the documents, but the Birth Certificate and I-864 must be signed by hand and that is what we need mailed :(

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline

Well we are doing as you have suggested and are having my mother scan/e-mail most of the documents, but the Birth Certificate and I-864 must be signed by hand and that is what we need mailed :(

I know embassies vary. Moscow accepted an e-mailed I-864. Even if the mailed documents are late, make sure the interview is attended. They will award the visa after the missing documents are received.

Good luck, but I am sure your documents will arrive on time!

Edited to add that in our case the Moscow embassy accepted faxed police certificates.

Edited by Neonred

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.

Someone stole my dictionary. Now I am at a loss for words.

If Apple made a car, would it have windows?

Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again .

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Deport him and you never have to feed him again.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I went bald but I kept my comb.  I just couldn't part with it.

My name is not Richard Edward but my friends still call me DickEd

If your pet has a bladder infection, urine trouble.

"Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow."

I fired myself from cleaning the house. I didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.

My kid has A.D.D... and a couple of F's

Carrots improve your vision.  Alcohol doubles it.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks " Is this stool taken?"

Breaking news.  They're not making yardsticks any longer.

Hemorrhoids?  Shouldn't they be called Assteroids?

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that may be why.

Dogs can't take MRI's but Cat scan.

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Share on other sites

 
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