In love with a girl in the Philippines.

[bendinlar 16]

I lived there for 14 months, plus my first trip of a month.

Dangerous, well it varies on your perception.

I never had any issues. But I didn't go around flashing wads of cash, or driving down dark streets alone either.

There are lots of stories you hear, but common sense takes you a long way. Be a nice guy, but don't get walked on. If you look for a fight, you might find one.

Your lady will prolly know the safe and unsafe parts of town.

We lived in Mindanao, in the little city of Gingoog, and made relatively frequent trips to CDO and Butuan, it's generally a quiet area around there, as long as you don't go wondering through the mountains alone. Hear there's still some issues in the area.

To add-

It's a great idea to go and spend time there. Heard a story from a gut married to a pinay here, about when she got here, she was looking for something they like for desert there, grey hams. He could not figure it out, why grey ham? Took a while, but they were in a store one day, and she got all excited because she found some.

Grey hams--- graham crackers.

You pick up on that kind of stuff the longer you're there. Makes life easier for both of you in the long run.

Edited September 18, 2014 by bendinlar

[Torete 121]

I lived there for 14 months, plus my first trip of a month.

Dangerous, well it varies on your perception.

I never had any issues. But I didn't go around flashing wads of cash, or driving down dark streets alone either.

There are lots of stories you hear, but common sense takes you a long way. Be a nice guy, but don't get walked on. If you look for a fight, you might find one.

Your lady will prolly know the safe and unsafe parts of town.

We lived in Mindanao, in the little city of Gingoog, and made relatively frequent trips to CDO and Butuan, it's generally a quiet area around there, as long as you don't go wondering through the mountains alone. Hear there's still some issues in the area.

To add-

It's a great idea to go and spend time there. Heard a story from a gut married to a pinay here, about when she got here, she was looking for something they like for desert there, grey hams. He could not figure it out, why grey ham? Took a while, but they were in a store one day, and she got all excited because she found some.

Grey hams--- graham crackers.

You pick up on that kind of stuff the longer you're there. Makes life easier for both of you in the long run.

Second, third, and fourth the posts in the thread...all good input/suggestions. Listen to your lady, stay close to her and her family when out and about and enjoy your visit/s.

Gingoog? Yeah, but try pronouncing that like a local. :-) Tablon on this end.

[JAYANN & JAY 11]

She does speak fairly good english, but she doesn't have much of an excuse to come over except for me.

I initially was planning on going over there myself until I read the travel warnings, but if it's the only way I will go.

I think I will have saved up enough money to go and see her within 8 months.

Once I have seen her, and have photoproof and all I need carefully gathered up, will the K1 actually work?

I mainly asked about the danger also because my mom's philippine friend thinks that if I go there, I would be killed or mugged for sure

Listen to Hank & all the other experts here to be able to bring the girl you love Don't worry you will not get killed just be careful not to bring any nice electronic gadgets as those are some of the things you will get robbed for. I gave my husband an iPhone 4s when he used to live in the Philippines and he had went to church when he took his nursing license and when he got out of the church the pocket of his bag was open and his iPhone was gone But other than visit the girl and enjoy the beautiful places in the Philippines. Visit Plantation Bay & Shangrila Mactan

[Laser1 63]

About safety, your primary concern is if she has a husband or suitor. Very many women there will not be straightforward or even honest about that, so try to investigate in some detail. Some will just think it is acceptable to not tell you the truth. Also, holding off from visiting her family home is safest, until you feel very comfortable about her.

[teddy k 35]

Just go and meet her to see how she feels to you then start courting her while your there .the Philippines is a very nice place and very relaxing i was there 2x in 5 months never had a problem while i was there alot of kids holding their hands out but you have the same in the States with grown people just be yourself and dont stick your nose up to anyone good luck on your journey

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Long story short...I'm in love.

My girl is trying to come over to Arizona in the US first to visit, and then after as a permanent citizen of the us once we're married. She's living in Cebu City

For the step of the travel passport/visa, what is required, and how long does it take to get one for her, and I would like to know the cost of getting one?

I have heard that Americans stick out like a sore thumb, and are targeted daily for kidnappings and ransom and murdered over there...If I go over for a visit in the philippines myself, should I be worried for me life?

Also, She has a little 2 year old girl, that she would be bringing as well ^^

I visited my wife two times during our courtship. First time was to Cebu and a side trip to Bohol. Bohol before the storms was beautiful. The 200 plus yo churches were breathtaking for me. Now many are in shambles due to the storms. Lots to do in Cebu. It's a medium size city which makes it easy to get around. Manila on the other hand reminded me of NYC. I felt comfortable in Cebu as a white Kano. I would get up at the crack of dawn and go to the street markets near Magellan's Cross. The locals would take care of me and remind me about the pick pocketers and known trouble makers. I carried an expensive camera with me but made sure that it was wrapped around my wrist and that it could not be jerked out of my hands.

The only problem we encountered was when I was getting into a trike and my wife was to follow, she was wearing a gold necklace that some guy tried to rip from her neck. She was so quick that she felt it and grabbed for it and was able to keep it with only the clasp getting broken.

Second trip I went to her home town of Ozamiz City on Mindanao. Great little city. I felt safe but I always watched around me including my back. It's easy to do, just stop to look at something and use your peripheral vision to look around. Just don't be a loud mouth, flashy or wear jewelry or show your money. I let my wife carry the money and pay for our purchases as she knows the cost of things and what to stay away from.

Being there for the visa interview is a real experience, one that I will never forget. As the consulate is Manila we were able to see many tourist things around the hotel before I soon departed. Museums, shopping malls and Rizal Park was some of the places we visited.

Go and visit her, you'll get a better idea what her culture is and how you will merge yours with hers. I would some day like to call the Philippines my second "home".

Edited September 19, 2014 by Greenbaum

[jmc92 0]

Thank you all for your replies

This is very advanced planning on both of our parts, as we still won't have the finances to travel anywhere for at least 6 months. We are both currently unemployed, and I feel the urge to want to pay for everything entirely...but that still leaves me trying to find work in Az. without references...so that's a small issue...or large ^^

If she wanted to visit here though, and see the place that she would be coming to live in, is there any other types of visas that will allow her into the usa for even a couple weeks?

I apprecitate your concern but I do trust her, she's never given me a reason not to.

She doesn't have a husband or suitor, the guy she had in her life with whom she had a child, wished to have nothing to do with her after finding out that she was pregnant, and stole her dog after he came back angry that she was pregnant to begin with and wouldn't abort the child. Her religion is catholic/roman catholic now, though I'm not sure if it was always.

In this long distance relationship, I will keep a strong trust for her, or we may crumble over suspicious minds.

I've been down the road of LDR 8 times before (only in north america until the one I'm in now) but I really feel different about this one

On related note and a shot in the dark, would any of you know where it would be easiest to get work within close vicinity to mesa Az?

Thanks again :^)

[Al422 221]

All the advice I read here to protect yourself from crime applies just about anywhere in the world. All common sense precautions.

No job at the moment? Do be careful about that. As part of the visa process you need to show about $17,800 (not the exact number) of on the books income to get the visa approved. And they mean it too. No money, no honey. Sorry for a dose of hard reality, but you need to prove to the US govt that you can support your new bride before you will be allowed to bring her here.

[jmc92 0]

Ahh ^^ I will be changing that soon, I mean someone has to hire me eventually lol ^^

[Stevephoto 230]

Ahem...New Yorker here getting his feelings hurt!! New York is AWESOME!!! In all seriousness the comments above are accurate: every city has inherent dangers, but most of them are way over-exaggerated. I have cerebral palsy and walk with two canes (read: "easy mark"). I've been through Manhattan alone hundreds of times and spent close to two months in the Philippines over 4 trips. Never had a problem...just be alert and aware of your surroundings.

Go and see your girl.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Gross income needed for two people is $19,662.

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Thank you all for your replies

This is very advanced planning on both of our parts, as we still won't have the finances to travel anywhere for at least 6 months. We are both currently unemployed, and I feel the urge to want to pay for everything entirely...but that still leaves me trying to find work in Az. without references...so that's a small issue...or large ^^

If she wanted to visit here though, and see the place that she would be coming to live in, is there any other types of visas that will allow her into the usa for even a couple weeks?

I apprecitate your concern but I do trust her, she's never given me a reason not to.

She doesn't have a husband or suitor, the guy she had in her life with whom she had a child, wished to have nothing to do with her after finding out that she was pregnant, and stole her dog after he came back angry that she was pregnant to begin with and wouldn't abort the child. Her religion is catholic/roman catholic now, though I'm not sure if it was always.

In this long distance relationship, I will keep a strong trust for her, or we may crumble over suspicious minds.

I've been down the road of LDR 8 times before (only in north america until the one I'm in now) but I really feel different about this one

On related note and a shot in the dark, would any of you know where it would be easiest to get work within close vicinity to mesa Az?

Thanks again :^)

Just a word of advice. Most Phil-Am relationships are wonderful. I couldn't be happier with my wife. To get to where we are today took about four years. We spoke everyday on the phone for 2-3 hours. My Dad once told me "son.... if you go on a day trip that you are in a car more than 2 hours and all along the way you are communicating back and forth, then you have a very good chance at a happy marriage". I've taken that to heart in finding my bride.

To add... Most bad relationships begin when the Pinay begins to ask for money. That's when you run. The majority of good Pinay's will not ask because that is part of their culture. It's their self respect that they wish to keep intact so the good ones do not ask for money. If you want to extend some financial aid at some point, that's ok. Just keep an eye out as there are many scammers from the Phil.

I think it is well worth your time to pursue the interest of this young lady. "Nothing ventured nothing gained" Good luck.

[Dan and Judy 614]

forget the whole thing. You are unemployed. No references meaning never had a job? Probably no skills or you

would have mentioned them when asking where you can get a job. It's a whole lot cheaper going out with the

girl next door.

The income numbers above don't apply to you because she has a kid. I think that means your target income is

closer to $25,000 a year.

You've got the cart before the horse.

Get yourself established first before you start a family.

I know this isn't the advice you were looking for but it's only a matter of time before you figure it out for yourself.

Maybe someone will list the expenses for you.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Yup you are correct For three people income requirement is $24,737

http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-864p.pdf

[jmc92 0]

Thanks again. We do talk every day for 3 to 4 hours, I think we're doing things right so far

As far as money goes...she wants to pay for things herself even after I offered..so that's a good sign at any rate.

As far as not having a job, it is because I have been taking care of ailing parents and a household which I will be moving from..and the employers of my past do not wish to be referenced at all.

Oh...and the girl next door is in her 80s, soooooo...yea lol

What is a life anyways...we only live for a little while, and then we turn to dust. We get the chance to do good in the world and we get the chance to love, and then afterwards we pass on. It's simply important enough for me to not care if it takes 10 years let alone 4...anything else would be settling for less than best.

My great uncle married a philippinnes woman too...my grandmother says she was one of the kindest people ever.

25k a year and over is not such a far reach for a web developer with confidence ^^

I am happy with her, and that's what counts

""You can always fail at doing what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love""

Edited September 19, 2014 by jmc92