Need advice relationship not working

[Ian H. 207]

Knowing where her family lives is a great start because they should be able to know where she is. If they won't give you her address, you may be able to have her served there.

I'm not sure how CA does it, I will post a link with info, but here in NY any resident of the state over 18 or older and not a party to the lawsuit(meaning not you or your ex) can serve the papers.

Otherwise you have to have the papers served by someone authorized to serve papers in Mexico. This is the most important part of the divorce, because improper service may lead your case to get dismissed so you have to get her served properly and within the time period the court gives you.

I was reading in the link below and they don't explain how to serve someone outside of the states. It says to contact the court's self help center or a lawyer. I would start with the court's self help center. It's possible that if your friend is a CA resident that he may be able to have her served. Again you need to find this out with the court or a lawyer. The self help in the court here in NYC was very helpful and helped my aunt server her husband properly outside of the states, it's possible you can get decent help there too.

As for withdrawing the I-864, you have to contact USCIS, but I'm not sure how. I would call customer service and find out what the steps would be, or someone here may tell you soon. Good luck.

http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-serving.htm

[Ian H. 207]

As a matter of fact, after rereading your first post, I see that she still hasn't left the states. You should start the divorce before she leaves the US, this way you can have her served here. Once that's taken care of, it doesn't matter if she goes back to Mexico because she would have already been served and that can be done by your next door neighbor for all they care. This is the most important part and it doesn't matter if she doesn't sign, touch or even breaks the papers. As long as she is served properly (according to the link I posted) and she doesn't contest the divorce, you should be fine.