Child's Protection

[knowledge 0]

I don't know if it's pertinent to add/or developp something about this topic. Since a few days that i'm more often on here it happened that from some stories of difficult situations either in the couple's relationship (i.e. failing) or other, in this immigration process, have been brought to my attention.

For those knowlegeable with all forms of violence or abuse, i ask this, because as we know it's a taboo thing to talk about,...especially for victims who can not, do not know or are in fear to speak. And if we can think for example to the IMBRA stuff, or on the other hand, petitioners who have been abused, i wonder if this taboo (i.e. what the child lives in disturbed family situations) can be discussed...at least try to. I have a couple of examples in mind if needed...

Any thoughts?

[Kez/JWolf 6]

who said it was tabo to talk about abuse??? and why do you assume that if a marriage is failing then there has to be some form of abuse and where does a child fit into this???

Kez

[knowledge 0]

who said it was tabo to talk about abuse??? and why do you assume that if a marriage is failing then there has to be some form of abuse and where does a child fit into this???

Kez

[knowledge 0]

who said it was tabo to talk about abuse??? and why do you assume that if a marriage is failing then there has to be some form of abuse and where does a child fit into this???

Kez

Thanks for your input but i'm only interested in those who want to talk about it, not those who don't want to!

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I never said I did not want to talk about it.... I was talking about it... I asked you some questions... is that not what you want?

Kez

[garya505 2]

[nhbigfoot 0]

I never said I did not want to talk about it.... I was talking about it... I asked you some questions... is that not what you want?

Kez

Your "questions" are not really questions, but more like an attack on what knowledge said. Why would she try to dialogue with someone who only wants to tell her she is wrong, when she did not say anything wrong? She wants to talk to someone with experience and knowledge of patterns of abuse and how they are affected by this process.

[mRx 16]

wow

this thread took only 4 posts til it turned into a fight.

VJ, Do we have a record?

[knowledge 0]

wow

this thread took only 4 posts til it turned into a fight.

VJ, Do we have a record?

Hahaha...thanks Bigfoot!!! can i have some popcorns too??...Seriously, i don't think it's a fight.....but a sign that it's a taboo subject...lol...vampirizing is then the rule obviously...instead of thinking...and, one can not do both in the same time...

So, let's see, if possible...for example..if we talk so much about the rules on here, the law, etc...as it's a family site in which thread treats about relationships that do not work, sadly, why did we "omitt" them ....what about the kids, if they are, who witness those difficult changes...what's the help can get the parent-s, what is possible to do...what's possible to repair...Of course, i ask to those who are knowledgeable, in experience and or more...and why not, from a philosophical, legal, psychological point of view...If both partners have rights in this process...what are the rights of the kids?...How their rights can be included in the separation, divorce, etc...

One thing i like sometimes to remember are the words of Mandela in one of his last interviews as of what heritage he would like to let us...his answer: Take care of the kids...With all this violence in the world to say the least...and, of any kind and many forms, with the depression growing dangereously among us...with this soo hard process where we are haunted by all types of feelings...can we, have we still have a place in our minds to be open, to think a little bit what we say and what we do...and ultimately what we teach and how to protect our kids...

Should I give examples here of such difficult situations where kids are involved also...i don't think so...but, i honestly can say that i have been affected myself on here by some stories...tragedies...and was thinking omg..but where and how are the kids in all this...how parents cope...how do they go get help?...or not maybe...So, just some thoughts...Anyone?

[mRx 16]

wow

this thread took only 4 posts til it turned into a fight.

VJ, Do we have a record?

Hahaha...thanks Bigfoot!!! can i have some popcorns too??...Seriously, i don't think it's a fight.....but a sign that it's a taboo subject...lol...vampirizing is then the rule obviously...instead of thinking...and, one can not do both in the same time...

So, let's see, if possible...for example..if we talk so much about the rules on here, the law, etc...as it's a family site in which thread treats about relationships that do not work, sadly, why did we "omitt" them ....what about the kids, if they are, who witness those difficult changes...what's the help can get the parent-s, what is possible to do...what's possible to repair...Of course, i ask to those who are knowledgeable, in experience and or more...and why not, from a philosophical, legal, psychological point of view...If both partners have rights in this process...what are the rights of the kids?...How their rights can be included in the separation, divorce, etc...

One thing i like sometimes to remember are the words of Mandela in one of his last interviews as of what heritage he would like to let us...his answer: Take care of the kids...With all this violence in the world to say the least...and, of any kind and many forms, with the depression growing dangereously among us...with this soo hard process where we are haunted by all types of feelings...can we, have we still have a place in our minds to be open, to think a little bit what we say and what we do...and ultimately what we teach and how to protect our kids...

Should I give examples here of such difficult situations where kids are involved also...i don't think so...but, i honestly can say that i have been affected myself on here by some stories...tragedies...and was thinking omg..but where and how are the kids in all this...how parents cope...how do they go get help?...or not maybe...So, just some thoughts...Anyone?

I dont understand what you are trying to attain from this topic,

just because the relationship falls apart, doesnt necessary mean abuse is a factor. If a spouse or child is abused in any way, law enforcement should and must be notified. ESPECIALLY if the child is abused. It is irresponsible and negligent to not report abuse of a child. IMO, people who post on an immigration public forum about physical abuse to themselves or children and have not reported it to law enforcement when it occured , are bogus claims, and they are just fishing for a sure thing to stay in the states.

If you are referring to emotional stress attained from parents splitting up, well then this is no taboo, this is America. Its rare to see a kid whos parents are still together.

Edited January 24, 2007 by matt85

[knowledge 0]

wow

this thread took only 4 posts til it turned into a fight.

VJ, Do we have a record?

Hahaha...thanks Bigfoot!!! can i have some popcorns too??...Seriously, i don't think it's a fight.....but a sign that it's a taboo subject...lol...vampirizing is then the rule obviously...instead of thinking...and, one can not do both in the same time...

So, let's see, if possible...for example..if we talk so much about the rules on here, the law, etc...as it's a family site in which thread treats about relationships that do not work, sadly, why did we "omitt" them ....what about the kids, if they are, who witness those difficult changes...what's the help can get the parent-s, what is possible to do...what's possible to repair...Of course, i ask to those who are knowledgeable, in experience and or more...and why not, from a philosophical, legal, psychological point of view...If both partners have rights in this process...what are the rights of the kids?...How their rights can be included in the separation, divorce, etc...

One thing i like sometimes to remember are the words of Mandela in one of his last interviews as of what heritage he would like to let us...his answer: Take care of the kids...With all this violence in the world to say the least...and, of any kind and many forms, with the depression growing dangereously among us...with this soo hard process where we are haunted by all types of feelings...can we, have we still have a place in our minds to be open, to think a little bit what we say and what we do...and ultimately what we teach and how to protect our kids...

Should I give examples here of such difficult situations where kids are involved also...i don't think so...but, i honestly can say that i have been affected myself on here by some stories...tragedies...and was thinking omg..but where and how are the kids in all this...how parents cope...how do they go get help?...or not maybe...So, just some thoughts...Anyone?

I dont understand what you are trying to attain from this topic,

just because the relationship falls apart, doesnt necessary mean abuse is a factor. If a spouse or child is abused in any way, law enforcement should and must be notified. ESPECIALLY if the child is abused. It is irresponsible and negligent to not report abuse of a child. IMO, people who post on an immigration public forum about physical abuse to themselves or children and have not reported it to law enforcement when it occured , are bogus claims, and they are just fishing for a sure thing to stay in the states.

If you are referring to emotional stress attained from parents splitting up, well then this is no taboo, this is America. Its rare to see a kid whos parents are still together.

Great input Matt and i appreciate how good you articulate. If I may, and follow the direction of your thoughts, I would add that not only in America parents splitt, everywhere too, but that's ok, because the families get re-composed. It's what's happening after...that the complications might begin...2 parents, with kids that are not their own, the adjustements to make, etc...the guilt, the fear to loose the partner on the benefice of the kids, and so on...all around me are examples like that...Fortunately i think that the majority are sensed and attentive to the wellbeing of their kids...

If a "relationship fells appart" there is an attention to be brought to the kid, because also the attachemnt the kid developped is felt as broken too...Why can the kid not feel the dammaged relationship, or every tension is going on there...????....We can not separate things like that...There are dynamics...And i'm saying that in the sens of support and help a parent for ex who is overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, the examples i have witnessed (thanks god, few ones on here) but quite dramatic, i didn't see any interest, any desire to go get help, only so superficially....As you said, if some here come to complain, when their situation is quite dramatic in itself, i agree that the majority takes the stuff on the surface, and in the real life they don't do much...

Overall, my point is that i have seen here comments related to the lack of responsability towards the child, or the child to come...At least when the individual is not mature, has not to make kids in tensed situations...

And i don't point to call the police either, only maybe if the suspicion is quite high...I don't believe in fear, i believe in talking and thinking....and developping ideas..which can not be developped in fear...Unfortunately some of those people disappeared after throing here their serious problem....

In any case...examples are many...I was appaled by many's reactions on this topic, the resistance to see, or the willing to see and understand, the attacks that only reveil the guilt (maybe because their own personal issues not resolved)...and obviously, too few spoke up truly...There is a desequilibre here...

So, that's also why i'll come on here less...i'm a bit affected...Internet can not allow anymore aggressions..or .liying about the subject, then dissapearing...We also know that Internet is a place for how many lonely kids...and it's dangers...

I only wanted to point that we should be more careful to the wellbeing of the kids in the complicated situations of immigration also...

[Mags 112]

I think Bigfoot and Knowledge are the same person.

[heishe 2]

This thread hurts my brain.

[Fandango 1,439]

####### is with all these newbs? Kezzie answered in a perfectly acceptable fashion and her questions were relevant.

There should be a group discount for hooked on phonics

I think Bigfoot and Knowledge are the same person.

I do too

[heishe 2]

####### is with all these newbs? Kezzie answered in a perfectly acceptable fashion and her questions were relevant.

There should be a group discount for hooked on phonics

Here's my recap of the thread:

OP: Garble garble let's break the silence about broken families! TABOO?!!! GarBLE!!! GARBLE!!

Kezzie: I'm not sure there's a taboo?

OP: I AM APPALLED BY YOUR REACTION I WILL LEAVE THIS PLACE AND FIND A FORUM THAT WANTS TO TALK ABOUT CHILD ABUSE GOOD DAY SIRS!