Love has no age limit

[Rachel1234 1]

There has been plenty posted about this over the years. You can research it. It is not about anyone being underage. In some countries, like the MENA ones, it is not the cultural norm for a younger man to marry an older woman, especially if she is past her child-bearing years and he has no children yet. Right or wrong, a 27 year old man marrying a 56 year old woman will be more scrutinized than a 27 year old woman with a 56 year old man, If the woman is much older than a younger man, then they should be sure to provide as much proof of a valid relationship as possible. It will depend on the cultures of the country, the specific case details and the CO you get. Some have no problems at the interview because of the age gap, but others have not been that lucky. You should never tell someone they will have no problems. How would you know that?

It's the US embassy or the US consulate. Remember that. The US has many different types of relationships. I know people that used a fiancé visa (not just a few couples) where the woman was 30 years older. She couldn't have kids anymore, but the guy didn't want kids anyway. He like older women and she likes younger men. Happens more often than you think. Also not everyone wants kids.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

It's the US embassy or the US consulate. Remember that. The US has many different types of relationships. I know people that used a fiancé visa (not just a few couples) where the woman was 30 years older. She couldn't have kids anymore, but the guy didn't want kids anyway. He like older women and she likes younger men. Happens more often than you think. Also not everyone wants kids.

You seem to be missing the point here. I know where K-1 visa interviews are conducted. The US consulate in the foreign fiance(e)'s country will take into account the culture practices of the country the K-1 applicant is from. The CO's job is to weed out those that want to marry a USC just to get to the US for immigration purposes only.

It is not about if a couple wants children or doesn't. It is just a fact that some have had problems proving they have a genuine relationship because the woman is much older and it is not the normal customs in certain countries for a younger man to wed an older woman and have no heirs. What passes easily in one consulate, may not in another. That goes for more things other than just age gaps.

[SunnyLove 2]

I know a big gap in age for an older woman with a younger man is very....distasteful, for some people. These same people wouldn't bat an eyelash if the situation were reversed. What I hadn't expected would be the government becoming involved, so the adage, "love conquers all" is only fanciful, saying then. Its my hope then that if proof can be provided of a long-term, loving relationship that the powers that be, will be fair.

[SunnyLove 2]

I'm also concerned that people put their own prejudices in their posts, all they succeed in doing is giving me a stomachache, they provide no real usable information.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

I know a big gap in age for an older woman with a younger man is very....distasteful, for some people. These same people wouldn't bat an eyelash if the situation were reversed. What I hadn't expected would be the government becoming involved, so the adage, "love conquers all" is only fanciful, saying then. Its my hope then that if proof can be provided of a long-term, loving relationship that the powers that be, will be fair.

I wouldn't care what anyone else thought about my relationship. If they would think it is distasteful, then that would be their problem. Your personal relationship is just that, personal and of no one else's concern. However, when you need to file for immigration, you then have to put your personal business on display for the US government in order to get the legal status you need. Proving your relationship is real is just part of the process.I wish you luck and hope the CO finds no issues with your relationship. Many valid couples have been able to overcome the age gap simply by being genuine and showing proof of it.

I don't see any posts in this thread of a prejudiced nature.

Edited September 9, 2014 by KayDeeCee

[SunnyLove 2]

I wouldn't care what anyone else thought about my relationship. If they would think it is distasteful, then that would be their problem. Your personal relationship is just that, personal and of no one else's concern. However, when you need to file for immigration, you then have to put your personal business on display for the US government in order to get the legal status you need. Proving your relationship is real is just part of the process.I wish you luck and hope the CO finds no issues with your relationship. Many valid couples have been able to overcome the age gap simply by being genuine and showing proof of it.

I don't see any posts in this thread of a prejudiced nature.

Thank you, kindly KayDeeCee, I appreciate your words very much. I can assure that there are reams of proof that we are in a genuine and love filled relationship. Thanks, for your wishes of luck and hope.

"I don't see any posts in this thread of a prejudiced nature.", possibly I am too sensitive, my apologies.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

Thank you, kindly KayDeeCee, I appreciate your words very much. I can assure that there are reams of proof that we are in a genuine and love filled relationship. Thanks, for your wishes of luck and hope.

"I don't see any posts in this thread of a prejudiced nature.", possibly I am too sensitive, my apologies.

You are welcome. By the way, I like your profile image. I love vintage photos.

[SunnyLove 2]

You are welcome. By the way, I like your profile image. I love vintage photos.

Thank you! Found that ages ago and just now found a use for it as my avvy picture!

[SweetOpossum 55]

I hope that's true.

Hi Rachel, what is the update on your case?

[JayJayH 546]

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Edited October 3, 2014 by Yang-Ja

[carolynhotstuff 252]

I am much older than my husband. When we filed our I-130 petition in 2009 we didn't know much about the visa process and never even thought about the government having a problem with our age difference. It does depend on the CO. My friend is much older than her husband, had a court house wedding with just a few guests and he did 8 months of AP and got his visa. In my case we were put through the ringer. We had a religious wedding at home with just a few guests, the CO didn't like that. He sent out field investigators to check up on my husband. For my husband's safety we told very few people that he was married to an American, the CO didn't like that. He denied our visa saying we were not legally married because I am a Christian and he is Muslim and the neighbors didn't know he was married. CO said we were trying to do fraud.

So I had 30 days to prove the CO wrong. I hired an immigration lawyer to research the marriage and sent the Dept of States own warnings about American's keeping a low profile in Pakistan that's why we didn't have a large wedding. Anyway turns out because we had a religious wedding and not a court one we are legally married. My friend who is also a Christian and who had the court wedding is not. Everything depends on the CO but older men marrying a younger woman usually don't have a problem if they can prove the relationship is real.

Once in the United States the marriage and age issue is not important to the government. My firend's husband just became a citizen. While it took almost 5 years to get my husband here. He came in Feb 2014.

[DutchmansLady 216]

Interesting topic...I am the older woman in our relationship..my husband will be 39 next month and I will be 59 in the spring...20 years age difference. He is Dutch and I am American. We weren't looking for an age gap relationship but it happened. We have been together 5 years now and married for 2 years. I am well aware of the stereotype which makes the older woman a "cougar" and I find that disgusting.The heart wants what the hearts wants...and the soul and spirit of a person is ageless. I expected a lot of weird looks etc especially since my nearly 40 year old looks young for his age..but that has not been the case here in the Netherlands. I think that the red flags would arise from being seriously unmatched in profession, education or religion.

[JayJayH 546]

Whether an age gap is a red flag or not depends a lot on the customs and norms of the country/culture in question.

For example, if in country A it is normal for a man to marry an older woman - no red flag.

If in country B it is very abnormal, and even considered taboo - big red flag.

Red flag, not because the CO has a problem with it, but because it is an "unusual relationship." Anything far out of the ordinary will raise a question or two, especially if the foreign spouse if from a country with significantly lower standards of living than the US.

This is why couples where the foreign spouse is a younger male from a MENA or African country may meet problems, while a couple where the foreign spouse is a younger female from e.g. the Philippines will not.

Edited October 9, 2014 by Yang-Ja

[Jon York 156]

My fiancee just had her interview in Pakistan last week. Our 30-year age difference came up several times. The CO kept asking her about it and she kept saying, "age doesn't matter to me, we love each other." Finally the CO said, "Madam, it's a VERY BIG issue for us."

So yes, it was an issue - even in a country where I think it's fairly common for men to marry women who are much younger.

It was one of many factors they looked at. At first they believed we were already married, then they thought maybe we weren't married and I was just trying to help her out by marrying her so she could get to America! But one reason they had these suspicions was our age difference.

In the end though they approved us! So it can be an issue but it won't necessarily automatically get you denied. It took a lot of work though for my fiancee during the interview to finally convince them it was all for real.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Jon York