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Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)
My apology for not being precise in my point, I meant that the OP should ignore the comments from VJ members who stated that "wong_watkins" was NOT a victim of discrimination. The OP seemed irritated by the fact that some VJ members do NOT see here situation as discriminatory. I'm presuming that my first post to the OP was overlooked by VJ members.

By the by, what is PC?

Sheriff Uling

No, you were precise enough...I got your jist. My point is...why must ppl ignore other POVs? Are you saying that a differing POV is not welcome or valid?

What kind of place is this where one should ignore something that is not 'in line' with what one 'wants to hear'. No one has to agree all the time...man this place would be redundant and boring if so. Perhaps before shooting the messenger, those who are confused by a differing POV could ask for more of an explanation instead of discounting the message as 'ignorable'

Edited by LisaD
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Posted
My apology for not being precise in my point, I meant that the OP should ignore the comments from VJ members who stated that "wong_watkins" was NOT a victim of discrimination. The OP seemed irritated by the fact that some VJ members do NOT see here situation as discriminatory. I'm presuming that my first post to the OP was overlooked by VJ members.

By the by, what is PC?

Sheriff Uling

No, you were precise enough...I got your jist. My point is...why must ppl ignore other POVs? Are you saying that a differing POV is not welcome or valid?

What kind of place is this where one should ignore something that is not 'in line' with what one 'wants to hear'. No one has to agree all the time...man this place would be redundant and boring if so. Perhaps before shooting the messenger, those who are confused by a differing POV could ask for more of an explanation instead of discounting the message as 'ignorable'

You are right on the money. I do see your point. Hey, with all the variety here on VJ, there is no way the any OP can worry about not getting a potential wide range of responses. i know that I have in the past, and I personally operate on the ignore POVs that aren't in line with what I'm looking for... LOL! Different strokes for different folks! However, a wide variety of responses is better than no response at all. You know that I like variety because my wife is not my nationality, but again, I ignored all the others who weren't in line with my POV. LOL!

Cheers!!!

Sheriff Uling

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Posted
My apology for not being precise in my point, I meant that the OP should ignore the comments from VJ members who stated that "wong_watkins" was NOT a victim of discrimination. The OP seemed irritated by the fact that some VJ members do NOT see here situation as discriminatory. I'm presuming that my first post to the OP was overlooked by VJ members.

By the by, what is PC?

Sheriff Uling

No, you were precise enough...I got your jist. My point is...why must ppl ignore other POVs? Are you saying that a differing POV is not welcome or valid?

What kind of place is this where one should ignore something that is not 'in line' with what one 'wants to hear'. No one has to agree all the time...man this place would be redundant and boring if so. Perhaps before shooting the messenger, those who are confused by a differing POV could ask for more of an explanation instead of discounting the message as 'ignorable'

LisaD...I agree with you this time

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted (edited)
He acted like he already knew it all, so it wouldn't have mattered whether I said something good about my country or not. He's one of those idiots that don't know what they're talking about, but totally believe in what they say anyway.

It doesn't make sense to argue with an ignoramus - you can't fix stupid, and you'll just waste your time trying to talk sense into somebody who's incapable of logical thinking. People (in all countries!) who lack education and who haven't travelled enough in their lives are doomed to have narrow-minded opinions about other countries. I try to avoid people like that - they make me sick and I don't want to waste my precious time on them :)

I hope you got yourself some nice seafood :) I like seafood too!

Edited by Jewel12

Filed AOS from F-1
Green Card approved on 01/04/07
Conditions removed 01/29/09

Citizenship Oath 08/23/12

Posted
He acted like he already knew it all, so it wouldn't have mattered whether I said something good about my country or not. He's one of those idiots that don't know what they're talking about, but totally believe in what they say anyway.

It doesn't make sense to argue with an ignoramus - you can't fix stupid, and you'll just waste your time trying to talk sense into somebody who's incapable of logical thinking. People (in all countries!) who lack education and who haven't travelled enough in their lives are doomed to have narrow-minded opinions about other countries. I try to avoid people like that - they make me sick and I don't want to waste my precious time on them :)

I hope you got yourself some nice seafood :) I like seafood too!

I hope the seafood fixed you up too! And I hope your husband has some better friends too.... For what it's worth, I've spent a lot of time in France (I'm American) and people there are constantly telling me how awful my country and culture are.

Of course, a lot of what they think I agree with.... But it still blows me away that someone can meet a foreigner and immediately start insulting their home. (And yet I married one of those Frogs anyway! :-)

  • 2 weeks later...
Filed: Other Timeline
Posted

I can understand how you feel because I had similar experience before. One time I and my hubby across border to canada for 1 day trip,we didnt have passports and got stuck in immigration office. He was ok because he is USC but I was on student visa back then. The officer asked me where I am from and I told him. He heard it and told me in front of my face...he said " I know you are here (the U.S.) for a better life and I understand that"..........WHAT THE HECK is that?? He basically told me that I am from a poor country and came to the U.S. for a good life. That was an insult to me. I really wanted to tell him that my family can buy his life or something haha....but I didnt because he can deport me. I was quiet and laughed out loud in my mind. I have been here for 5 years and have seen too many americans who think asian are poor......the reason we here because we want a better life. Everytime I hear peple saying that, I always smile to them. I dont make any comments because I think these people will NEVER EVER understand how big the world is. For them, this country is the world or maybe the town they live is the whole world....haha~~~(sorry if I offend someone, i apologize) I really can care less what people think.....be honest~~ yes, I am poor and so what? haha~~at least I am highly educated, no debt, dont need to worry about money issues and be happy....For me, those people just need to move their butt and go visit other countries.

  • 3 weeks later...
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

Just wanted to say that our first week together in the US my mother in law sent an e-mail to our joint address (hubby & I ) that was very Anti - Canadian, and said some very cutting things about Canada and Canada's "not so helpful self" in Iraq.

I was shocked when I opened it up.. stunned that my brand new mother in law (of like 2 days) would forward something like that to an e-mail account that we had.

I realized 2 things first:

1. Perhaps she didn't connect how this might offend me

2. I have no control over how others look at my country

3. She would never have ment to cause me pain (what reason could she possibly have for it)?

4. That my hubby was the only one that could handle it, since it's HIS mother :)

So, I forwarded him the e-mail and said, "honey, I realize that your mother never intended to hurt me, but I find this e-mail very offensive".

He took the hint, and e-mailed his mum and said.. Mum.. we realize you probably just forwarded this without reading it, but there were some very derogotory statements in there about Canada, and my wife has as much love and loyalty to her country as we do to ours, so in the future, please refrain from sending those e-mails to us". She was horrified, and immediatly corrected her forwards to us. :) YEah for hubby, and yeah for Mom In Law!!!

Being in a foreign country, I guess I expect some to not understand my native country, or it's ways of doing things. I guess, I'm the visitor so I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and just be patient..

Anyway, MUCH different situation than yours. I would have reacted exactly the same way, and cried and cried for days. But I did want to say that others in here have been faced with people saying and spreading negative things about our countries of origin. Hang in there!! Like everyone else has said before me, there are very many different people responding very differently throughout this nation. :) You'll meet great ones and umm.. others you'll probably not want to meet again :)

Best of luck!

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted
Last night hubby and I went to one of his friend's(who's a tattoo artist) house so that hubby can get the tattoo on his neck done.

We were first having a good time...you know, watching the football game, and having casual conversations...

and I don't even know when did it all started, when hubby's friend started talking sh!t about my home country right in front of my face when he's working on the tattoo on hubby's neck...saying that I came from a poor and communist country(China), Communisim is really bad, that's why US went to war with Vietnam...that nothing he owns is made in China because before he buys something, he always makes sure that it's not made in China..saying that nobody should buy anything from CHina because they use child labor and they should not feed the communist country. I talked back, and he got more pissed and said that maybe the US should start dropping bombs on other countries like they used to...hubby finally told him that's enough and he finally shut his God Dam mouth

I was completely insulted...devastated...I couldn't even talk back anymore because I already started tearing up...

After we left his house I asked hubby why didn't he stuck up for me and told him to fxcking stop, hubby said that he got pissed when I talked back and he poked the tattoo needle even harder on his neck...He told him that's enough and that's all he could do...

Guys I'm sorry but I'm still really upset over this. Makes me want to leave here and never come back...

Hubby told me not to let that bother me, but...I dunno how am I supposed to deal with this

I think you and your husband need to find a better class of friends with some intelligence. Arguing with this idiot would'nt have gotten you anywhere. I would avoid this person in the future but don't let it get you down, blow it off , explain to your husband you dont care to be around people like him. It was better you both avoided conflict. Sorry this happened to you, but don't let a fool like that bother you .

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: China
Timeline
Posted

When I was in china dating a chinese woman she ran into people who were upset that she would date a white man . "how come a chinese man is not good enough for you" Every country has closed minded people in it.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Grenada
Timeline
Posted

It's great that you can get support from this forum, going the through the visa process is hard enough...having situations like these totally stink!

I have been living in another country (Grenada) for a year and a half, I was here six months before I met my fiance. I had my share of crumby things said to me as I am white and 99.9% of Grenadians are black and/or East Indian. I always dealt with the comments with a 'don't care' attitude but after I was with my fiance, that started to change. I wasn't alone anymore and when he was around when things were said, I expected him to be my champion and say all the right things. This didn't really work for either of us. It wasn't just me getting used to another country, it was him getting used to having a white/foreign fiance in his country. Just like your hubby, he hadn't given it a single thought until the situation came up. I know my fiance wasn't the most graceful and at first didn't say anything at all, which was more humiliating than the original comments. But we continued to talk about it and I began to see how it's not only his job to handle things, but both of ours. He also began to see how comments he has heard his whole life affect me.

As far as your hubby, he sounds like he (in only the way men do) is trying to do the right thing...switching tattoo guys...trying to reassure you by saying it's no big deal. It sounds like you two really care about each other and that is what makes a huge difference in working these things out. Hubby is getting hit twice...not ony is he getting used to a foreign wife....but also getting used to a wife! I think if you asked the majority of newlyweds anywhere they will tell you that unexpected situations can cause not only the greatest challenge, but also the greatest growth in any relationship.

For a little practical advice, I came up with a few standard phrases I can use to diffuse situations here in a foreign country. You'll have to come up with some on your own that fit your situation, but for example, when I get some drunk guys limin' on the block making all sorts of lewd comments to get me to marry them and take them to the US, how much they want to 'be' with a white woman, and all the colorful things they throw in... I just respond to them that I don't like washing anyones underwear buy my own. In a country that most people do their wash by hand in the river, they understand that means I am in no way interested in taking care of them.

I hope you can navigate away from those creeps that want to ruin your day.

Good Luck with everything!

Sue

grenada.gifusa.gif

"We owe something to extravagance for thrift and adventure go seldom hand in hand." JJC

Posted

Dear Wong,

We see and meet jerks everyday. One jerk should not ruin your life and don't let him win. He might talk about other country than China in the same way. Had I there, he would've talked about my corrupted country Indonesia.

(Did I just make a negative comment about my own country :lol: ... who cares anyway, it's the truth)

So, chill out, not everything is bad about China, all countries in this world have bad and good sides anyway.

Just forget the jerk.

keTiiDCjGVo

Filed: Country: China
Timeline
Posted

Welcome to america Love : a free country where people can express anything they want. Between you and me I am a first generation immigrant ( france ) and NO what you discribed is not discrimination (treating someone differently because of race/religion or sexual orientation) . He just expressed a point of view which was not detrimental to your career.

Please do not get upset instead argue with the person point of view and you might be surprised by the reaction you 'd get from them:

+ personally I am married to a chinese citizen and if I was not to lazy or looking for a bargain I would not buy made in China because I saw in first hand the working conditions of people = conscious buying.

+ against or for communism , well my mum taught not to argue about colour and taste.

I think nowadays in general people jump too quickly into their guns about discrimination and that 's where the most serious crimes do not get dealt properly ( by the way I am black ). I have been discriminated in various way by name (arabic name) and colour so trust my experience !! :wacko:

Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Mexico
Timeline
Posted

Dont worry about it. Its not your fault he's ignorant. Dont let it get to you.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Filed: Timeline
Posted

Hi Wong,

I understand how you feel. I'm from the Philippines with a Chinese lineage (I don't speak Chinese though). I'm working for an outsourced company and I always get discriminatory remarks from customers. I don't let their comments affect me because I know who I am. There's just too many close-minded people out there who judge right away. Some think that people from third-world countries are no good. Just remember, people can hurt you if you allow them too. Just hold your head up high :) Just don't let their comments get into you.

 
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