Friend dumping his filipina wife

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

my wife is from the Philippines, we are blessed with a great marriage and kids. We have a friend who also married a Filipina she has only been here about 9 Mos. He is dumping her ( his third marriage ) I think he thought somehow marrying a girl from the Phil would allow him to still behave like a bachelor but who knows. He's not a bad guy just not made for marriage.

The question is this: they will separate and I am quite sure he is thinking how to minimize any responsibility for her and her 6 yr. old daughter. She would like to remain in the US, although of course he would prefer if she go back home.

As a legal immigrant I am wondering what benefits ( state or federal ) she is entitled to as she will need to get setup, perhaps go back to school for some additional training or degree, care for her daughter etc. she wants to work also I might add and is not looking for any free lunch, but what's fair is fair he signed up for this and just cause he doesn't want her any more shouldn't let him off the hook, My opinion anyway and remember this is my friend.

The girl will most likely come here to our place since we are the closest she has to family and get her life back on track.

anybody have any feedback????

[bendinlar 16]

How did he get her here? K-1 or IR-1/CR-1?

Her status as far as adjustment of status if K-1?

Info the pros might need.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Type of visa makes a difference sort of. CR-1 or K-1? (AOS is done at different times with each visa) Did they complete AOS? Does she have her green card? He signs the I-864 for AOS, which is a 10 year comment for the most part.

If they have not done AOS it is possible to complete this after a divorce so the person can stay in the USA, but without Adjustment of Status she will have to return to the Philippines. If he has not signed the I-864 his obligations are different.

A divorce lawyer may be helpful for some issues.

[Ed and Gina 45]

You mentioned that she is a legal immigrant...she came here on a CR1? As others have asked...has her husband filed the AOS? There are some unanswered questions that need to be addressed before anyone can offer useful advice/suggestions.

Your friend needs to re-think his responsibilities. He brought her here...now, after a few months...wants to send her back...like unwanted baggage? Hardly fair of him. "Jerk" is the nicest term I can think of. Nonetheless, perhaps you can convince him to follow through on whatever needs to be done to allow her to stay. Naturally, there are two sides to a story. But, as he is your "friend," I suspect that he's told you that he just doesn't want the responsibility anymore. And, as you said, he's really not cut out for marriage. Fine, but does he have to ruin his wife's and her daughter's life for his whimsical nature? He needs to step up to the plate!

Kudos for helping his estranged wife and daughter!! That's very kind of you and your wife. I hope everything works out well.

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

You mentioned that she is a legal immigrant...she came here on a CR1? As others have asked...has her husband filed the AOS? There are some unanswered questions that need to be addressed before anyone can offer useful advice/suggestions.

Your friend needs to re-think his responsibilities. He brought her here...now, after a few months...wants to send her back...like unwanted baggage? Hardly fair of him. "Jerk" is the nicest term I can think of. Nonetheless, perhaps you can convince him to follow through on whatever needs to be done to allow her to stay. Naturally, there are two sides to a story. But, as he is your "friend," I suspect that he's told you that he just doesn't want the responsibility anymore. And, as you said, he's really not cut out for marriage. Fine, but does he have to ruin his wife's and her daughter's life for his whimsical nature? He needs to step up to the plate!

Kudos for helping his estranged wife and daughter!! That's very kind of you and your wife. I hope everything works out well.

He brought her here on a K1, she has her green card and AOS EAD complete just waiting for her daughters green card has social security number etc. agree he needs to step up and do the right thing regardless of status, she's a sweet girl and the whole thing was bonified, no scam by any means. I do agree he is a jerk, I told him if your not 150% sure don't do it and he spent a couple months in the Phil with her prior to her even coming here. Like I said he's just not made for marriage period.

No problem with her coming and staying with us till she gets on her feet although he might not like that but tuff titty, my Motto ( one of many ) always do right this may gratify some and astonish the rest- M.Twain.

Edited August 16, 2014 by Ryan H

[Ed and Gina 45]

He brought her here on a K1, she has her green card and AOS EAD complete just waiting for her daughters green card has social security number etc. agree he needs to step up and do the right thing regardless of status, she's a sweet girl and the whole thing was bonified, no scam by any means. I do agree he is a jerk, I told him if your not 150% sure don't do it and he spent a couple months in the Phil with her prior to her even coming here. Like I said he's just not made for marriage period.

No problem with her coming and staying with us till she gets on her feet although he might not like that but tuff titty, my Motto ( one of many ) always do right this may gratify some and astonish the rest- M.Twain.

All of that is GOOD NEWS!!! At least she doesn't have to worry about AOS and all of that. I'm sure that there wasn't a scam involved...just that your friend needs to figure out what he wants in life.

Hoping the best for her. And, hopefully, your friend pulls his head out of his backside.

I see that you're in Western PA...what part? I'm in Herndon VA...have friends near Philly whom we met while on honeymoon on Palawan. We'll be getting together with them when Gina gets here - which we hope is very soon! Just waiting on Embassy to acknowledge receipt of HK Police Clearance to release her visa...the waiting is agonizing!

[clairegie 265]

I-864 instructions states:

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

I-864 instructions states:

Hank, we are in western PA halfway between Erie and Pittsburg other side of state versus Philly, as I tease my Philly friends I live in the "good part " of the state.

Iammrsreggi, understand the i864 as I had to sign that for brining Teresa here, more the question of if anyone has been through similar and know what if any process is involved?

I would rather see my friend do the right thing of which I think he can afford, rather then involve government system but if he wont then she obviously will need to.

Edited August 16, 2014 by Ryan H

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

Ed and Gina

agree the process ( waiting ) is brutal not for the feint of mind that's for sure. We are here in western PA other side of Philly in the state

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

The I-864 doesn't mean he has to pay for her. It means if she gets welfare the gov can sue him to pay it back. She should get her own job and move on, or get a divorce settlement, though with such a short marriage alimony will be more difficult. She has her GC so she is all set for immigration. I know this is a regional forum, but people should know better. Just getting misinformation here.

[Hank_ 9,174]

He brought her here on a K1, she has her green card and AOS EAD complete just waiting for her daughters green card has social security number etc. agree he needs to step up and do the right thing regardless of status, she's a sweet girl and the whole thing was bonified, no scam by any means. I do agree he is a jerk, I told him if your not 150% sure don't do it and he spent a couple months in the Phil with her prior to her even coming here. Like I said he's just not made for marriage period.

No problem with her coming and staying with us till she gets on her feet although he might not like that but tuff titty, my Motto ( one of many ) always do right this may gratify some and astonish the rest- M.Twain.

... but the milk tastes good!

Kudos to you and your Asawa for opening your home. As Ed said jerk is a nice word for this guy, we all know better ones

She would have to request a waiver for removal of conditions when that comes due, once that is accomplish there should be no issues staying.

http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-751instr.pdf

http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/ilink/docView/FR/HTML/FR/0-0-0-1/0-0-0-42380/0-0-0-44857/0-0-0-47481/0-0-0-47683.html

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from Philippines regional forum to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigrations Benefits forum.

[Ed and Gina 45]

The I-864 doesn't mean he has to pay for her. It means if she gets welfare the gov can sue him to pay it back. She should get her own job and move on, or get a divorce settlement, though with such a short marriage alimony will be more difficult. She has her GC so she is all set for immigration. I know this is a regional forum, but people should know better. Just getting misinformation here.

Harpa...I'm not sure that anyone was providing misinformation...someone just posted what is on the I-864 form with regard to the Petitioner's responsibility. Everyone here does agree that the husband should take responsibility for his actions, as a man and a human being, and not leave his estranged wife and her child stranded - after all, he is the one who decided that he doesn't want the marriage to continue. Divorce costs money and settlements take time. She's relatively new to the US...and it will take time to find a job. And, she has a 6 yo to support. While I usually respect your comments as being on-target, straight-forward and to the point...in this instance...hmmmm....

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Harpa...I'm not sure that anyone was providing misinformation...someone just posted what is on the I-864 form with regard to the Petitioner's responsibility. Everyone here does agree that the husband should take responsibility for his actions, as a man and a human being, and not leave his estranged wife and her child stranded - after all, he is the one who decided that he doesn't want the marriage to continue. Divorce costs money and settlements take time. She's relatively new to the US...and it will take time to find a job. And, she has a 6 yo to support. While I usually respect your comments as being on-target, straight-forward and to the point...in this instance...hmmmm....

I'm sorry; I should have been nicer.

[Ed and Gina 45]

I'm sorry; I should have been nicer.

Nicer...ok. But, really, the point was not about being nicer but to be more accurate in what you're calling out. As I said, you've been on point in many instances throughout...in this case...not so much, sorry to say. LOL. I should also say...having compassion for someone's real plight ...(I know...there's a fair amount of questionable situations broadcast here) and offering various suggestions to help someone who is in dire need of very useful information...that would be more helpful. Sometimes, you have to put yourself in that person's situation...realizing that people from different cultures respond differently. Not everyone is cut from the same cookie cutter! '